Fun That We Rarely Have

A Word That Weighs More Than It Seems

As I sit before my laptop, I feel a little wave of sadness weighing heavy on my heart. Fun. A simple three-letter word — but the weight it carries is so deep and profound. Sadness seems to greet me first, before I feel the magic of fun. And as the years pass, fun has quietly become rarer.

I remember growing up, looking forward to November and December when school came to an end. That meant my cousin from KL would arrive at my grandfather’s house in JB. Oh, how excited I would be, waiting for their arrival. When they finally came, it was non-stop chaos — fun, fighting the way kids do, food, games, gossip, and some heated competitions. Nineties kids may remember that Beyblades were a very real thing back then. Mischievousness and laughter would fill the air.

Since I was the oldest of the girls, the three of us would come together for our own girls’ time. We would go up to my bedroom, lock the door, and gossip, laugh, tell stories, and do all the girly things — before we were rudely interrupted by the boys, always prying at the door. We had so many interesting tales shared within those walls. Now, none of them are present in my life. The cousins who were once so close are now a distant memory, lost in the past, locked away in our childhood. We grew up, and everyone seemed to decide they were too good for one another.

Why has fun become such a rare treasure? I lost an important part of my childhood somewhere in my adulthood. None of us could bring ourselves to carry that fun forward into the lives we now live. I wonder — did we really change for the worse?

Everyone becomes caught up in the current of their own lives. Did I change? Of course I did. My past made me who I am today. I love how it shaped me into becoming a life coach — from a Law graduate of the University of London to a coach. A completely different route, but I am proud of every step of that journey.

The Weight of Growing Up

I was inspired by an email I received about how many of us were burdened by stress, commitments, and responsibilities — postpone fun. We postpone the ability to truly enjoy ourselves, without needing some external stimulant to get there.

As I stepped into my entrepreneurial journey, which is quite recent, I realised that managing a business on your own means making sacrifices, and one of the first things to go is fun. It means sometimes skipping family gatherings to sit at home and work. It means playing the role of ten people, all on your own. Now, where exactly am I supposed to find the time for fun?

As I reminisce about my younger days, I remember dreading school and hating student life. I looked up at adults and thought, “Wow, it must be so amazing to be an adult. No one to boss you around.” I was guilty of wanting to grow up too fast. Adult life is exhilarating, but it comes with a price if you don’t know how to truly manage your life. I deeply regret not enjoying the freedom of being a child, unburdened by responsibilities and worries. Now I have full autonomy over my life. But where is the fun?

What Fun Means to Me Now

Fun, in my adulthood, feels fleeting, rare, and hard to come by. And you know what the epiphany of this moment is? I spend my days helping women navigate their limiting beliefs and triggers in life. And as I write this, I realise that this is a deep-seated trigger from my own past. As I write this article to inspire you, dear reader, I find myself being inspired in the process.

As my eyes well up, I arrive at a moment of realisation: Where did the part of me that once loved fun, laughter, stories, and gatherings go? The part of me that crackled with life like there was no one in the room — the part that allowed her soul to laugh freely without a trace of pain — where did she go?

My life was not a ride in the park. I survived things I do not wish on others. Crushed by PTSD and anxiety at one point, I watched my life burn down in flames and slowly built it back from the ashes. Somewhere in all of that, I lost my sense of fun. I forgot what fun even looked like. I struggled to connect with people who weren’t really aligned with who I was.

Something Has to Change

I have come to learn that fun is not a luxury reserved for vacations or special occasions. It is a vital spark that keeps our energy alive. Moments of play, curiosity, and laughter refresh the mind, lift the spirit, and remind us that joy is meant to be part of everyday life.

Have you ever come across a photo or a quote that reminded you not to save your happiness for when you’ve achieved a certain goal, or acquired something material? That same reminder is here, in this article, for you now. Reserve fun for the small but deeply meaningful moments of your everyday life — not just for the big occasions.

I recall one particular moment when I made my mum stop and have a Starbucks date with me. She was clearly restless and rushing me to head home, but I told her I wanted to take that moment to truly tune in — to let the world and all my problems dissolve, just for a little while. Me, my drink, my mum, and the café we were sitting in. Soft music playing in the background, easing into my mood. How freeing it was. Fun in doing nothing — simply by being fully present. It felt more than good enough.

When did you last experience fun like that? A deep, soul-level joy? Being fully present with yourself, sipping your favourite drink, with your favourite person — or even entirely on your own?

I See My Future Now

I believe that over the years, I have attached happiness to moments, people, memories, and situations outside of myself. I realise now that fun can come in any shape and form. I am giving myself permission to define fun in a way that feels truly aligned with my soul.

At this stage in my life, I feel excitement and genuine fun in helping women connect deeply with themselves. I feel fun in writing articles like this one — articles that push me out of my comfort zone and teach me a little more about the parts of myself I had forgotten. I feel fun in taking slow, intentional moments throughout my day. I feel joy in laughing like there is no one watching. I feel fun in meditating and in my quiet moments alone with the Universe.

Today, I am writing a new story. I envision a circle of aligned women, bonded together around a bonfire under a starlit sky. Fun music playing softly in the background. A gentle swim in a glistening lake. Laughter that feels soulful and genuine. Dancing that uplifts and heals. Stories shared that pull us closer to one another. A sisterhood that gathers every full moon under the open sky — enjoying life, and growing together spiritually.

My vision of fun has evolved. As I wipe away the tears of the past, I feel the heaviness lifting. I open myself to this new future — a future of having fun in a way that truly nourishes and uplifts my soul.

Dear Reader, Feed Your Soul

I invite you to take a quiet moment and reflect on this journal prompt:

“What is your soul’s definition of fun, and how do you wish to live it?”

It can be as simple as enjoying a warm cup of tea in the peaceful silence of your morning, or choosing to be more fully present in the lives of your children. What makes you feel genuinely alive at the soul level? Write it down. And then live by it.

Fun has a way of resetting the nervous system. It reminds you that life is not only about hustle and grind, about stress and responsibilities, about past traumas or triggers. When you begin incorporating small, soul-aligned moments of fun into your daily life, watch how much shifts for you.

Can you make a quiet promise to yourself — a pinky swear that you will commit to doing at least one small, joyful thing every single day? This one practice will gently guide you back to yourself, back to the part of you that you lost somewhere along the way. Even a few minutes can shift the entire tone of your day.

Lean into the sound of pure joy when it arrives. Amplify it. Feel it. Let it cascade through every cell of your body. And afterwards, take one small moment to feel grateful for the fun you allowed yourself to experience.

As I write this final sentence, I realise something I had not expected. I came here to write about fun — and somewhere between the memories of my cousins in JB, the tears I did not plan to shed, and the Starbucks moment with my mum, I found a small, quiet piece of myself that I had left behind without even noticing.

I had been waiting. Waiting to have fun until I had built something worthy of celebrating. Waiting to laugh freely until life felt stable enough to exhale. Waiting to simply be — until I had become everything I set out to become.

But life does not pause while we prepare for it. It is already happening, in the ordinary Tuesday afternoons, in the quiet cup of coffee, in the unexpected laugh that catches you off guard. It was always happening. I was just too busy postponing it to notice.

I do not have all the answers yet. My coaching practice is still young. My bonfire sisterhood is still a vision on the horizon. But today — just today — I let myself feel a little lighter for having written this. For having remembered. For having allowed the girl who once locked her bedroom door and laughed until her sides hurt to show up, even briefly, in these pages.

That felt like enough. That felt like fun. Happy Fun.

Crafting Your Own Incense

It didn’t begin with a plan.

There was no intention to learn a new craft or pick up a hobby. It started from a simple place, a moment in life that felt mentally heavy, where slowing down wasn’t a luxury, but a quiet need.

During that time, incense became a small companion. Lighting it brought a sense of ease, even if just for a while. And when the ones I often reached for ran out, I found myself wondering, what if I tried making my own?

What began as a practical solution slowly unfolded into something more meaningful.

Slowing Down, Naturally

Incense crafting is not something you can rush.

Crushing herbs. Blending ingredients. Shaping the mixture by hand. Each step asks for your presence.

And in that process, something shifts.

Not because you force your mind to be quiet, but because your attention gently moves into what you’re doing. The texture beneath your fingers. The scent released as herbs are crushed. The subtle adjustments needed to bring everything together.

Without realising, you arrive into the present moment.

A Practice That Engages the Senses

What makes this experience different is how it invites your senses in.

The aroma changes with every blend.
The texture evolves in your hands.
Even lighting what you’ve created feels different.

It’s no longer just about burning incense.

It becomes an experience of noticing, how your body responds, how certain scents calm you, or how others awaken something within. A quiet conversation between you and what you create.

There Is No One Right Way

At the beginning, it’s natural to look for the “correct” way.

The right ingredients.
The right ratios.
The right method.

But very quickly, that idea softens.

The same recipe can turn out differently each time. What works for someone else may not feel right for you. And that’s where the real learning begins.

You start to adjust and to observe by trusting your own sense. A little more here. A little less there. Trying again, not to get it perfect, but to understand what works for you.

Letting Go of Getting It “Right”

Somewhere along the way, the process becomes less about outcome, and more about experience.

When the need to follow something perfectly fades, space opens up.

I have become more patient.
More attentive.
More willing to try, without needing immediate success.

And perhaps the deeper realisation is this, it’s not just about incense.

In many areas of life, we follow unspoken expectations. We search for the “right” way, even when it doesn’t fully resonate with who we are.

This practice gently reminded me that there isn’t always one way. That exploring, adjusting, even getting it “wrong,” is part of how I find what is true for myself.

Creating Space for Clarity

As the hands stay occupied and the mind softens, something else begins to unfold.
Clarity.

Not because I am trying to solve anything. But because I’ve stepped out of the constant noise of thinking. And in that quiet space, perspectives shift.

What once felt overwhelming becomes more manageable. Decisions feel lighter. Not because life has changed, but because I have.

A Simple Practice, A Quiet Impact

Incense crafting is simple. It doesn’t require complexity or mastery.

Yet, what it offers goes beyond what is created at the end.

It becomes:

A way to slow down
A way to reconnect with your senses
A way to step out of overthinking
A way to explore without needing certainty

And sometimes, that is all we need.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed or mentally stretched, perhaps this is your gentle reminder:
You don’t always need a big solution.

Sometimes, you just need a simple practice that brings you back to yourself.

An Invitation to Experience

This was why this workshop came to life.

Not as a class to get things right. But as a space to slow down, to reconnect, and to experience something simple through your own hands.

A space where there is no pressure to create something perfect. Only an opportunity to explore, to notice, and to be present.

This practice offered me more than I expected. And perhaps, it might offer you something too.

Living in a World of Unprecedented Change

There is a quiet unease many of us are feeling today. Something is shifting, and even if we cannot fully explain it, we can sense it.

We are living in accelerated times. As scientist E.O. Wilson once observed, we carry paleolithic emotions, operate within medieval institutions, and wield godlike technology. The race to build the most powerful AI is only one expression of this acceleration. While the future we imagine has not fully arrived, we are already living with its consequences.

Our consciousness and biology are struggling to keep page.

Mental health disorders are rising. Chronic illness is widespread. Energy, political, and economic instability are mounting. Climate change is alarming. Beneath all of this, more and more people are beginning to question something deeper.

The meaning of their own existence.

As above, so below. As within, so without. The rapid advancement of external technology is calling forth an equal and necessary evolutions within us. We are standing at the edge of a paradigm shift in human history, and there is a universal calling for each of us to become more than passive observers of our lives.

If you are feeling lost, confused, or desperate in these cathartic times, what I hope to offer here is not another answer.

I hope to start a conversation within you and with those around you. Through my own stories, I hope to reflect a universal human experience and offer a roadmap for the community by sharing some of the most valuable truths I have discovered.

Learning from Ancient Wisdom and Elders

I want to begin with something simple: you are not broken.

The world is not broken. What is broken is the way we have learned to see the world. You are a manifestation of the universe itself. How could you be anything less than a miracle?

This is not a dismissal of real pain. Some of us carry wounds. There are real crises and injustices unfolding in the world that could have been prevented. It is natural to want to help and to fix, to make things right.

For a long time, I believed that too.

Yet after more than twenty years on a spiritual and healing path, I have come to understand something deeper.
Trying to fix life is often futile.

Rachel Remen, a physician practicing integrative medicine, expressed this beautifully:

“When you help, you see life as weak. When you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole.”

Buckminster Fuller deepened this further. He reminded us that real change does not come from dismantling what exists, but from creating something new that makes the old way no longer necessary.

My mentor Dr. Darren Weissman often says:

“Focus on where you are going, not what you want to get rid of.”

Over time, these were no longer just ideas. It is my life.

I was diagnosed with an autoimmune skin condition at five. At eight, I was told I would need medication for the rest of my life. By sixteen, I was bedridden.

What followed was a fifteen year search for healing across more than five continents and through over one hundred healing modalities. I learned from shamans deep in the forest and from medical grade technologies in the city.

And yet, at thirty, during COVID lockdown, I found myself bedridden again. Every resource I had relied upon vanished overnight and all external support disappeared.

It was in that space, when there was nothing left to hold on to, that something unexpected began to emerge.

Within ninety days, I experienced spontaneous healing. An innate spiritual wisdom that no book, teacher, or modality had ever given me began to rise from within. From that foundation, a prosperous business was born.

Instead of asking what was wrong with me, I began recognising what was right with me. That small shift changed everything.

It gave me the courage to persist through the darkest of times and helped me keep my heart open to love, light, and truth even in a world that can be unforgiving, intense, and overwhelming.

As the Gospel of Thomas reminds us:

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”

When we access our own divine potential, that inner wisdom becomes the truest guide to the freedom we are seeking. This is what it means to co-create with the intelligence of life itself, allowing grace to move through us and as us, especially in unprecedented times.

When we neglect that potential, even our best strategies can become futile.

Coming fully alive is not about doing whatever we wish. It is the liberation of the soul from the confines of conditioning and self imposed limitation. Coming fully alive does not require a grand ambition or a lofty dream. It simply means being fully who you are, as your most authentic self.

As Howard Thurman and David Orr have each said in their own way, the world does not need more successful people. It needs people who have come alive.

Our greatest contribution to ourselves and to the world is not to fix it or save it.

It is coming home to who we truly are.

Learning from Mother Nature

The most radical action we can take to change our circumstances and our world is also the most ancient.

Andrew Harvey calls this sacred activism. It is where healing, leadership, and spirituality meet. It reminds us that our individual journeys are inseparable from the collective, and that our actions carry ripples far beyond what we can see.

I did not fully understand this until I encountered a natural phenomenon known as trophic cascading.

In 1995, gray wolves were reintroduced into Yellowstone National Park after many decades of absence. What followed was extraordinary.

Elk behaviour shifted. Vegetation recovered. Beavers returned. Even rivers began to change course.

Within ten to twenty years, an ecosystem that had been slowly declining began regenerating into a thriving, living world again. In human terms, ten to twenty years may feel long. In the lifetime of Earth, it is barely a breath.

There is something profound in this.

When a keystone species returns to its rightful place, the entire environment begins to heal around it.

I had seen this story portrayed before in The Lion King. Yet the truth of it resonated much more deeply when I had a direct experience in the bushveld of Timbavati, South Africa, where wild white lions roam.

At the end of 2018, I took a leap of faith and travelled there to participate in a leadership immersion experience guided by Linda Tucker.

What unfolded during that time was difficult to explain in ordinary terms.

The white lions were not safari attractions. They were conscious, majestic presences. We were invited to meet them not as spectators, but as students meeting teachers.

The indigenous people of the region regard the white lions as celestial beings who descended from the stars. They are seen as guardians and initiators who inspire creativity, courage and our role as stewards of the Earth.

While I was there, I witnessed something remarkable. The land where wild white lions roamed was alive and thriving. The land where nature had been commoditised appeared barren.

Something in me began to understand.

The leadership I encountered there was unconventional yet deeply spiritual.

We learned conflict resolution through loving presence.
We learned communication beyond language.
We learned to read energy.
We learned to use celebration as a catalyst for transformation.

Above all, one law of nature stayed with me.

Love and Respect.

This principle is so powerful that even a creature deeply wounded by betrayal can eventually soften, rebuild trust, and open its heart again.

I began to recognise this same truth reflected across many traditions.

It appears in Buddhist teachings on wisdom and compassion. It lives in the practice of metta, or loving kindness, which is said to move mountains and heal deep divisions.

It is also echoed in stories of Christ, whose mere presence was said to create miracles.

Throughout history, the same spirit can be seen in leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and the Dalai Lama. Like keystone species within ecosystems, they triggered a trophic cascade in human consciousness, leaving an imprint on the collective heart of humanity that time has not erased.

This is the leadership and healing revolution I believe is missing within many of us today.

The most inspiring part is this.

You do not need to be a saint to live it.

You only need to be willing. Willing to stand for a new way, to open your heart courageously, and to return home to who you truly are.

Imagine what becomes possible.

The Path to Coming Alive

A gentle unfolding from confusion to clarity, from fear to truth.

It is often within our wounds that we discover our deepest gifts. What follows is a pathway I have used to guide many towards greater freedom, inner peace, and wellbeing.

This journey is rarely linear.

At times it feels like moving in circles. At other times it feels uncertain, even uncomfortable. Yet with each step, something begins to shift within us.

Stage 1: The Spiral. Clarity
Yet within that confusion a quiet truth begins to appear. The life we are living is no longer the life we truly desire.

Clarity does not arise from answers. It emerges through awareness.

This stage is about gently unlearning what we have inherited and beginning to see life through our own eyes.

Stage 2: The Winding Path. Courage

With clarity comes a natural tension. We begin to sense the gap between the life we are living and the life we know is possible.

What often keeps us stuck is not a lack of ability, but the weight of unprocessed emotions that quietly hold us back.

When we finally face what we have been avoiding, something shifts.

Effort becomes aligned. And aligned effort becomes transformative.

Stage 3: The Unknown. Connectedness

Nothing truly changes until we take a leap of faith. That is not always comfortable.

Transformation rarely happens in perfect conditions. It unfolds in real life, often in moments where the outcome is uncertain.

Connectedness emerges when we bridge what we know to be true within ourselves with the world around us.

Stage 4: The Dotted Line. Consistency

This is where change deepens. And yet, this is also where many people quietly stop.

Consistency was not about forcing discipline. It was about devotion. It requires a shift from hustle to flow. Not to perfection, but to what truly matters.

Success is rarely shaped by grand intentions. Over time, these small choices begin to shape something much greater.

Stage 5: The Lotus. Conviction

In the end, what matters most is not what we achieve. It is who we become.

There comes a moment when we no longer rely on external circumstances to feel whole. At this stage, we are fully alive. We begin to feel anchored within ourselves.

From that place, something natural arises. A desire to serve, to contribute, and to support others in remembering what is already within them. This is how change begins to ripple outward.

Clarity, courage, connectedness, consistency, and conviction are all learnable skills. They are living expressions of love in action.

The path to coming alive is not sentimental or passive. It is radically honest.

Being healthy, whole, and complete has always been our true nature. The work is simply to create the conditions that allow it to be expressed.

What you hold here is not merely a philosophy. It is a way of orienting your life. A way of coming alive that allows the beautiful life we sense deep in our hearts to unfold.

The answer you are seeking has been within you all along.

A New Dawn Of Me

I Shine, a Star
A Light of the Divine
Rising, Honoring
My Light, My Soul, My Life.

Existing and Being
Perfect I AM
Being True, Being Joy
Being Me.

In Healing, I Give
In Gratitude, I Humble
In Life, I Ascend
In Heaven, I Soar.

In Light, I Honor
In Soul, I AM
In Love, I Be
In Faith, I Believe.

The Old is Gone
Rewards I’ve Reaped
A New Dawn for Me
The New Begins.

I Affirm
I’m Worthy
I’m Deserving
I’m Abundant.

I Flow
I Create
I Emerge.

A New Me
A New Dawn of Me
Awakening
I Become!

– Yeoh Lee Lee –

Healing Isn’t Fixing, It’s Reconnecting

Vol. 17

Many Questions & A Life Changing Discovery

My present and evolved understanding of health and healing came after years of research, study and finding ways to understand why my mother passed away from cancer within six months of diagnosis at the age of 67. I watched how the medical profession failed her, how they were only treating the symptoms of that disease and merely making her comfortable – no one was actually able to “fix” her. I further realized that after she had tried hypnotherapy, something shifted, and she became “happier”, but it was not enough to save her.

I was left with so many questions after she passed on: “what happened, where did she go, why isn’t she coming back, why couldn’t the doctors help her, what is health and healing as well as life and death all about?”; which led me to other deeper questions like “who am I and why am I here?”

Many healing techniques and workshops later, I was left increasingly frustrated as I couldn’t work out what was missing in all of it, but something was missing. It wasn’t until I went on a self-discovery journey travelling worldwide, albeit inwardly, that the answers to all my questions appeared together with an inner wealth of wisdom around health and healing that I didn’t have words for.

This was when Reconnective Healing came into my awareness. I watched a YouTube video of Dr. Eric Pearl explaining the philosophy and art of this work. I was awestruck. Finally, there was someone out there speaking “my truth”, having words to express all my inner beliefs and thoughts around health and healing that I had come to understand. I truly felt like I had “come home”, because every single cell in my body resonated with this truth, and I couldn’t get into the seminars fast enough.

Healing Isn’t Fixing, It’s Reconnecting

“Healing is not about fixing what is wrong with us, but about reconnecting us to what is right with us.” These words came to me, while living with the frequencies of Reconnective Healing, in my attempt to describe what it really is; it is so all-encompassing and comprehensive with so much to inform and to share.

Reconnecting with what is right with us means remembering who we are, the love, the peace and joy that we are, the very essence of our being. In this state of love, healings can take place on all levels, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, as they are so interconnected.

We are accessing a Universal Intelligence beyond time and space that knows exactly what each and every one of us needs in a holistic way. As we set ourselves increasingly free to be all we can possibly be, our potential true human evolution is also taking place.

Reconnective Healing, being a bandwidth of frequencies of energy, light and information, that is new to this planet, according to scientists, returns us to a whole and balanced state with an increased awareness, more clarity and understanding of ourselves and everything around us.

As we resolve that which is unresolved within us, life opens up and we start living from a different perspective; one of more clarity, peace and joy, and those around us start reflecting exactly that back to us. Physical healings may be instantaneous but often they come about as life unfolds while we live life from this new, peaceful and happier perspective, if this is what is meant to be on our life path.

Tuning our awareness into these frequencies when we are feeling unbalanced or emotional, or when we see chaos around us with our attention on the situation and/or person, a shift may suddenly take place and an improved story play out. Not only will the situation and/or person change, but so will we.

The Reconnection: Heal Others, Heal Yourself is the title of Dr Eric Pearl’s book explaining how his story unfolded from chiropractor to an energy healer. Facilitating healings for others is not about “doing” but about “being” these healings. And in being them we share them with anyone we put our attention on. These frequencies ripple outwardly and touch anyone we are in contract with locally in our presence as well as non-locally.

Reconnecting Healing is truly not about “fixing” anything within us. We are always perfect in our present creation as we exist in every moment in time. There really is nothing to change but to return, if we so desire, to our balanced and divine optimal state of being, which is love… to love ourselves and live from our truth, rather than from a fear-based state. Reconnective Healing carries the Intelligence of the Universe to allow for this. The amazing thing is we do not need to know what needs to improve or how it needs to happen. All we need to do is move from expectation to expectancy and awe of what the Universe may have in store for us.

I have time and time again been left in total awe of results I could not even have thought of, when acting as the catalyst for these frequencies to do their balancing.

We are so much more than this physical manifestation… And to think I used to buy into the belief of this body being a machine with spare parts is just beyond me now! We are frequencies and vibration that needs to be re-attuned to our music like an instrument out of tune!

Reconnective Healing is our Human Evolution – it is about us walking to our full potential and living in awareness of who, what and why we are here, and becoming the Masters of our very being. We don’t need anyone or anything to make us more – we are enough, and everything we can ever be. As we become the certainty of this and start living this deep knowingness from our hearts, it starts to ripple outwardly affecting everyone around us… And we become the change we wish to see in this world!

Meditation To Focus & Strength

Vol. 30

At work, you may be asked to adapt to sudden changes and more demanding bosses and clients. There could be job insecurity and a constant pressure to do more with less pay. At home, being cooped up with other family members with nowhere to go has become more and more stressful. Chances of having fights and arguments increase. There are few opportunities to be in your own quiet zone.

Your “fuse” has become very short and you get triggered easily. But what if you found out that the person who is triggering your emotion is also facing his own financial issues and insecurities just like you? Would you feel any different? Would you find yourself feeling some compassion and forgiving that person?

The key to a conscious shift is to avoid reacting in haste but to seek understanding of the situation first; then learning something useful from it. The shift may even start with consciously changing oneself from the inside.

There is a saying, “If you can’t change the outside, then change from the inside”.

With understanding and compassion, the way you see the situation will be different from how you saw it before. And when perspective changes, your action will change at the same time.

Doesn’t it feel good to contribute to a more harmonious environment whether at work or at home? Yes, definitely!

Meditation Steps

Let’s do the following simple meditation to bring you to a deep state of relaxation, release your worries and sadness, increase your focus and regain your strength to manage your daily life better.

Practice this meditation after waking up in the morning or an hour before going to bed at night. Drink a glass of water before the meditation.

It is best not to do this meditation when you feel exhausted because this meditation requires your focus.

Let’s begin.

Whenever you face any situation that drains you, move your focus to the point at the center of your brow and chest for a few seconds. Remember that you are understanding the situation and learning from it to bring wisdom and abundance into your life.

THE RECIPE TO MANIFESTING

I am a dreamer. Since I was a teenager, I wanted to travel around the world to experience life. I wanted very much to study abroad, however my family could not even afford to send me to study in Singapore. Then I got to know that my dad’s company offered scholarships for the staff’s children to study in United States of America.

The idea of applying for the scholarship gave me a little hope. The reason I said “a little hope” was because I was just an average student. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do in the future. At that time it was very unusual for an average student to get a company to sponsor her studies abroad. But I didn’t give up hope. I studied hard, went to the library to borrow English books to improve my English.

Prayers & Hard Work

I prayed to Quan Yin, Buddha and all the Masters that came to my mind. I walked to the local temple daily to offer my prayers. I also started to visualize my life in overseas, the difficult as well as the fun stuff. How I would move about in winter, the kind of clothes I would wear, etc.

Despite my hard work, I didn’t do well in the SPM trial exams. I despaired. I didn’t want to give up my opportunity to study abroad. I asked around and was told that I could ask the school to provide a forecast of my SPM results, sit for aTOEFL test and a SAT test in order to apply for the scholarship. So I did all that I was supposed to do.

But I didn’t do well for the SAT and TOEFL test either. However, the teacher still gave me a good forecast and that motivated me to retake the SAT and TOEFL. By then, many of my friends had already secured their plans to study overseas and some had even started their classes abroad.

I became frustrated and started questioning the Masters but I didn’t give up. At that time I had not received the 500 marks for the TOEFL test, the requirements set by the university. I made a decision and told my mom that I wanted to go to Kuala Lumpur to concentrate on studying English. My mom agreed and I quit school to focus on studying English.

Heartbreak & Hope

One month later, I received a heartbreaking letter, the Foundation couldn’t offer me the sponsorship at that time, however they promised to put me on the waiting list. My mom was very worried about me because I could not go back to school as I couldn’t catch up with the syllabus. The only thing I did the only thing I could do which was prepare for my TOEFL exam. I had nowhere to go.

After 3 months, having completed the English course in KL, I went home. I remembered very vividly the day I received the second letter from the Foundation. When the postman shouted out my name, my heart pounded very fast and my hands trembled.

I opened up the letter that said they decided to offer me the sponsorship after all. After a few hours immersed in the feelings of happiness, I realized that there was another obstacle, I did not have an acceptance letter from any university yet! And the scholarship was only valid for that semester so if I didn’t accept it, I would lose my spot.

Persistence & Divine Timing

Furthermore, the closest TOEFL test that I had yet to take was at the end of August, which was too late for the September intake. Finally I managed to get help from one of my secondary school seniors who was studying in the same university I chose to apply to. He convinced the principal to accept me, provided that I made the 500 marks requirement, the next TOEFL exam. Needless to say, I made it.

So in one month’s time, I settled my visa, my two older brothers sponsored my air ticket, winter clothing and luggage. My Mom took out her savings for my other expenses. At that time, I didn’t know anything about concept of manifestation at all. All I knew was that I should never give up and keep on going.

Divine timing may not match ours, but I believe we can create our reality and I realized that when I made the decision to achieve my target, all the obstacles gave way. This is the most important ingredient in the recipe. Decide, make the choice.

Transforming Into A New You

Vol. 10

From Caterpillar To Butterfly

The process of change and transformation is always a difficult one. But just look at how a clumsy-looking caterpillar transforms into a beautiful butterfly. How is it that such a great change can happen with so little effort while we humans struggle with change and transformation?

The Slow Descent To ‘Average’

We often get very comfortable with the status quo. After having taken some years to get to where we are, we decided to settle with it. After all, we now can do it with our eyes almost closed and we already know how to deal with the ups and downs that’s dealt out to us. There’s also that understanding of what makes the people around us tick and how to hide things under the carpet when necessary. Thoughts are kept close to our chest, and we shut up in order not to rock the boat.

Is there a niggling feeling somewhere deep inside of you that you have given up on your dreams? That the goal you wanted to achieve has also been swept under the carpet? Are you truly happy with who you are today? Are you at peace with the situation at home, work, extended family and friends and perhaps even with the world around you?

Growing up, there would have been huge ideals and visions of changing the earth, and being awash with power and success. Somewhere along the way, whilst trying to fit into the daily grind, we settled for the average. Settling means staying stagnant with our passion gradually fading away. That’s when chores and responsibilities feel like a ball chained to us. Over the years, this ball would expand exponentially, and its weight would wear us down.

Where You Are Meant To Be

One day, I finally realized who I was born to be on this earth. I shed tears of joy when I decided to honor myself by becoming that person. I needed to drop the part of me that felt low self-worth and who was trapped with immense resistance towards responsibility. I yearned to become someone with joy, freedom and love. And I wanted to share that with the world. This is my calling and passion. My body told me to bid goodbye to my old self. I had to transform.

When you decide on what it is that you want to be, you will find the strength to want to change. Having acknowledged the need to move on, that ball will become lighter and your heart will start to sing. So, boldly try the “6 Steps To A New You” given and begin your own transformation immediately.

Embrace The New You!

Remember this – you have to love the process. Don’t dread it. Act on them with joy as you begin changing, and change will happen. As my mentor told me, embrace transformation with love. Understand that the previous energy had served its purpose. Now let the butterfly soar!

6 Steps To A New You

1. Acknowledge The Need
First, acknowledge that there is a need to change. Without being conscious of this need, you won’t be inspired to move away from your comfort zone. Find some quiet time for reflection. Ask yourself if everything is going well and if you are very happy with your life. Are there areas which can be better? Are there things that you want to change? Do you have a deep desire to do it?

2. Make A List
Be honest with yourself. List all the things you want to change realistically without being too lofty. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day! Start in stages, with something achievable. Putting too much pressure on yourself could mean setting yourself up for failure even before you begin. Prioritize the items in the list, starting from the smallest to the biggest change to give you the confidence and build up the momentum of your transformation.

3. Intend With Full Commitment
Everything that you do in life must begin with the ‘right’ intent. Doing something with the right frame of mind and the right reasons will make things easier. The power and focus of intent can move mountains. With such power, any endeavor that you set out to do will start and end well.

Intention is when your entire being is aligned and synchronizes with your thoughts, attitude, behavior and emotions. What you need to change is something that you truly believe that you must achieve – with all of your body, mind and soul. Jump in with full commitment!

4. Let Go Of
Think about all the habits, thoughts and attitudes that have kept you back from your goals. List these down. As they no longer serve you, they have to be released. The old has to go before the new can come in.

Again, find a quiet space when your emotions are also quiet. Close your eyes and let the old habits pass through your mind. Acknowledge that they helped you in the past to become who you are today. So, thank them with love. You needed them then but it is time to send them away now. Wish the old you well and see them float away. Then have faith, trust and belief that it has happened.

5. Set Goals
Of course there has to be a goal. What do you want to achieve and become? What kind of habits and attributes will you need to fulfill the new you? Visualize and announce them to yourself. Tell all the cells in your body that you will do everything in your power to reach that goal. Then set out to work at it.

6. Take Action
Nothing happens if you don’t do anything about it. This is what all the gurus out there always expound. Imagine if you just sit in your old comfortable spot staying you will change but never take the actual steps. They will stay as mere daydreams. Don’t get me wrong. Daydreams allow us to see the big picture and fuel the passion. As they say, Leonardo Da Vinci did a lot of daydreaming to become the great artist and inventor he was. But he took concrete action after the dreaming. So if you need to wake up an hour earlier to start, do it! Read a new chapter everyday on the skill that you need to learn. Practice presenting yourself in a new light. Join a class to learn or relearn something.

With your goal in mind, you will find ways to act on it.

NATURALLY DETERMINED

One of the key ingredients to living successfully has to be being determined. And this has mostly been a challenge for me.

I remember climbing up the narrow steps to the top of a lighthouse. I made it up to about 98% at the top. Yet that last elusive 2% involved going up a steep ladder. Fear overtook me (yes, I had this thing about climbing ladders). Determination fled. To this day, I regret it.

When Nature Leads The Way

I learned about determination from plants. The blue pea that persists in my garden amazes me. I had discarded the first plant and entire pot ages ago.

Yet, the sneaky creeper’s descendents wait silently in shady corners. The minute I am busy with my work, it starts to snake its way up a bigger plant. Winding up and winding up its host plant, until it reaches to the top.

I pull it out with irritation, only to discover it or its sibling growing ferociously again. My irritation has been replaced by a silent admiration. I realized that this hardy plant has a never-die attitude that I could learn much from.

Like plants that sometimes evolve to suit the environment, I find that I too have evolved. Determination is becoming a friend of mine.

The Early Stages

But I do have to warn you about something. That is if you too are keen on being more determined.

When I first started to focus on determination, my body protested loudly. Let me explain.

There were times when I wanted to work for longer hours than normal. My mind was focused and my heart was totally for it. It was only the body that refused to play nice.

A queasy stress would then surge up, overpowering me completely. Initially I thought I was tired out, etc. Blinded, I usually gave in to the body’s refusal to carry on.

Later I learnt that it’s sort of a built-in mechanism the body has when you move out of your comfort zone.

Isn’t it ironic that you need determination to be determined?

Determination Rules

Am I more determined now? I’m getting there.

I give more intent to work on things. And I push through to complete certain things before the day ends.

Admittedly, it helps tremendously that there’s a small group that I “report” to about my progress. My reports clearly show when my determinations spike.

We keep one another’s spirit up through constant discussions. It’s like companion planting in gardens. When you grow certain different plants close to one another, they do extremely well. So, pick your cheerleaders wisely.

By the way, don’t expect cultivating determination to be like cooking instant noodles. Think more along the lines of growing a solid large tree that will live for centuries. It’s time-consuming, for sure. But well worth the effort!

NAVIGATE YOUR LIFE WITH GODDESS GUIDANCE

The Wise & Wealthy Goddesses

Our Journey So Far

We have traveled a long way together since the first goddess series article published when we started our journey into the realm of the ancient goddesses. If you path has been anything like mine, then you probably wouldn’t recognize yourself as you stand at the last quarter of the year and ponder the lessons the year has taught and brought you. And as you stand at that very same place that you have stood at so many times before, what lessons will you take with you into next year, to use not only as your teacher but as your guide to live a wise and abundant life?

How do we live in a world that places value on external possessions and resources and not get caught up in wanting more, being more, having more? Can we see that it is an illusory trap set to lure us in, when we know very well that having 1,000 more followers, or those extra pair of shoes, won’t ever bring us lasting peace and happiness?

Wealth?

Some say that you are wealthiest when you can be grateful for what you have. Which means that wealth, normally defined as an accumulation of worldly goods, needs redefinition.

Because have you noticed how the financially wealthy are often desperately unhappy and insecure? While sometimes those with very little have the most gracious and generous attitudes and live a life of contentment?

Or Wisdom?

You can begin to see that material wealth without wisdom will not go a long way in sustaining a balanced, fulfilled life. For how often is it that big lottery winners land up a year or two later in the same financial woes they had before, possibly with even less to their names?

While not everyone has the same opportunity to access knowledge, everyone does have the opportunity and ability to access wisdom. It is the wisdom of the Higher Self that knows better. The Higher Self lives within each of us, but sometimes we need others to tell us that we can trust this voice of wisdom to guide our lives, so that we live our days feeling and doing enough.

Goddesses Of Wisdom & Wealth

Here are the wonderful goddesses who can help us when we need to tap into good fortune and be courageous enough to use it wisely!

Abundantia – Roman Goddess Of Fortune, Success & Prosperity

This Roman goddess is the ultimate representation of wealth and abundance. She is often depicted carrying a cornucopia filled with grains and coins; back in the day grain was a high value commodity to trade with. This also makes us consider how food and wealth have always been tied together as a status symbol.

This goddess is the perfect ally to call upon when you need help with saving or investing your money, or needing assistance with an increase in all kinds of prosperity. She can also be of help when in need of more time, opportunities or ideas. Keep your eyes open to find coins in unusual places, as it’s a sign she is with you and is ready to help grow your prosperity. She is also fondly known as “Lady Luck”, when with little effort good fortune smiles down on one.

Lakshmi – Hindu Goddess Of Generosity & Prosperity

This multi-faceted Hindu goddess is also known for her beauty and as a bringer of positivity.

Lakshmi can assist to improve your financial situation, and allows you to feel enough and not lacking in anything. When you feel like you are not good enough, or can’t find gratitude for the small things that bring fulfillment, or when you need to be more generous with your resources, call on this powerful deity. This is one of the reasons she is known as the goddess of generosity, as she always has enough time, patience, love and fortune to bless us all.

Inari – Japanese Goddess Of Prosperity, Tea & Rice

Inari, sometimes called Inari Okami is a complex Japanese deity worshipped in Shinto religion and appears in many different forms. As a goddess she is depicted as a young beautiful woman with flowing hair. She is also known as the Goddess of Nourishment, bestowing fortune and bounty on those who call upon her with pure intention.

While she is the patroness of farmers and merchants, she can help with any lack of growth in your life. If you feel abandoned, alone or unsupported, or you need more nurturing and nourishment, she can help you fill that space with positive life-enhancing ideas and experiences. In business endeavors she brings success and growth. Associated with the fox (some adherents carry a fox tail for good luck), you can visualize or call on this totem energy to connect with her.

Minerva – Roman Goddess Of Wisdom & Commerce

This Roman goddess is equated with the Greek goddess Athena, and is depicted with an owl – the sacred symbol of wisdom and knowledge. Again, she is multi-faceted in that she is also a warrior goddess and a goddess of trade and commerce.

When you need good counsel and practical advice, Minerva is the perfect goddess to call upon. She is connected with many mythological stories – Medusa, Hercules and Odysseus – bringing success and victory through her wise counsel and advice. She is also the deity to invoke when dealing with educational matters of learning or information. In weighing life decisions, she will assist with finding the wisest solution, when forethought and calculation are needed.

Seshat – Egyptian Goddess Of Wisdom, Intelligence & Writing

This ancient Egyptian goddess is also known as the Mistress of the House of Books and is both scribe and record keeper. She is credited with the invention of writing. Her intelligence covers the fields of mathematics, astronomy, surveying and accounting – so her knowledge base is expansive.

Seshat can help you formulate your plans and ideas and literally put pen to paper when you need help with your to-do-lists or when you are looking at the pros and cons of something. Her wisdom is not only relevant to this world, but she carries wisdom from other times and dimensions as she is thought to have access to the library of the gods – hence any spiritual or supernatural wisdom or advice can be sought from her.

If you have any writing projects, journaling ideas or budget sheets to put together she can help them come to life.

Sophia – Goddess of Sacred Spiritual Wisdom

While Sophia is not a conventional goddess, she is connected to several incarnations relating to the sacred feminine. She is central figure in Gnosticism – which emphasizes individual knowledge as the path to the Divine. She is often compared to the female aspect of the Christ consciousness.

This wise woman can help those searching for their path and purpose in life, and those who need to learn to listen and trust their inner voice and callings. She is particularly helpful when asking the big, deep questions about life and our place in it. Use her energy when going on any “spiritual” quest, or “dark night of the soul” experience. When you are going through any life changing experience such changing jobs, giving birth or the loss of a loved one, Sophia is the wise companion to guide you through.

Enriched With Wisdom

After examining each of these gifted deities and their qualities, I hope you feel encouraged to dig deeper into your own definitions and attitudes toward what wealth and wisdom truly mean for you.

Can you see that the year has provided for your needs, even if not always in the form that you would have liked?

For some people wealth is their children, for others it is their careers. But it remains true that a bulging bank account will do nothing to stop the terminal illness of a loved one, the ruin of reputation or the dark night of the soul.

Knowing how to act in certain situations by using your wisdom mind, can avert much hurt and conflict, rather than barging in and lashing out with the first thoughts you have.

What good is knowledge without a sound mind to live it every day? Reading about meditating and doing the meditating are two very different things!

The Abundant Life

So, wealth is not just about money and stuff, and wisdom is not just about doing another course or getting a degree. Yes, we need material things and money to live in this messy magical world, but we need so much more than that.

The ultimate meaning in life will not come from reading about it in a book or having some great public speaker inspire you for a few minutes. The meaning and mystery of your life will be revealed by living your experiences and then truly using them, in the wisest way to enrich not only your own life, but those of others too. There could be no greater wealth in the world than being able to sleep at night with a full belly, a full heart and a mind full of peace.

Gratitude

Thank you for joining me on this magnificent journey. Remember, you are never alone and are always guided, protected and directed by a loving, wise Divine Universe.

Words of Power To Transform Your Life

Vol. 32

In most cases, the challenges (some are minor problems while others can be full-blown crises) are related to relationships, health, money, friendships, children, happiness and other daily life experiences.

Let’s analyze the situations carefully. In many cases, they are unavoidable because we are exposed to various conditions from when we wake up until we go to sleep daily.

Life System

We resort to various actions and techniques to remove or ease these tests and challenges, but the troubles continue to recur because some of these concerns are part of our life’s system.

I had a friend who shared an enlightening story with me on how she manages to cope with her life through affirmations after her marriage failed two years ago.

“My life was shattered when my marriage broke up, but I picked up the pieces and got myself together with one strong affirmation that read ‘I WILL SURVIVE’,” she said.

She displays the declaration, printed in bold letters, on the wall at her workplace and in bedroom. She reads the words whenever she has flashbacks of her unpleasant past or when she sinks into disillusionment.

Affirmations

Powerful words or phrases are affirmations that generate positive thoughts. Read repeatedly, they program our conscious and subconscious minds.

Saying things to ourselves, about ourselves, constantly help achieve all that we want because they become beliefs that soon become reality. Such exercises ward off negative emotions and create new and constructive thought patterns in the mind. All of us have a power center within us, and to activate this power center we use commanding words found in affirmations.

Repeating daily affirmations helps transform a person’s self-image and gives him or her the confidence to dismiss the past and move forward bravely.

There are various types of affirmations: single word affirmations, phrase affirmations, spoken affirmations and recorded affirmations.

For example, single word affirmations are word like:
• LOVE
• POWER
• PEACE
• SUPER
• COOL
• CALM
• STRONG
• BRAVE
• CONFIDENT
• OPTIMISTIC

Just viewing or mentally repeating such words daily allows us to program our mind, body, and spirit to handle daily situations.

Phrase affirmations are affirmations that are made as a sentence or phrase. Examples are “I am confident”, “I am brave”, “I am strong”, “I am worthy of the best things” and “Every day and in every way I am getting healthier/ wealthier/ happier”.

Spoken affirmation are simple affirmation that you make audibly to yourself. If you so wish, you can even record your affirmations and play them back to yourself whenever you feel you need a boost of positivity. Recorded affirmations are effective because they can be played before we begin the day or whilst we are doing something else like preparing meals.

We want to use these different ways of affirming depending on the situation and the purpose. Also, try not to use more than three affirmations, or it will dilute your focus.

A Daily Mission Statement

We can also write an affirmation a dozen times or more on a piece of paper using red ink before we start our day, making the affirmation our mission statement.

Use the present tense when writing affirmations. As you write, do it with faith and respect.

Repeating an affirmation is one of the best ways to start our day because by saying our chosen phrases, we strengthen ourselves internally and create an aura of confidence.

How To Practice Affirmations

The best time to practice affirmations is before we go to sleep or shortly after we wake up.

Affirmations protect us from being influenced by negative situations. Ever so often, we find ourselves amongst people who speak negative words, which effectively are “negative” affirmations.

To strengthen an affirmation, try using images or visualizing the affirmation. Feel the truth of the words you are affirming.

To relax, hang a big picture of a scenic waterfall or a pleasant scene and mentally visualize that you are part of the image.

Affirmations For Studies

Affirmations are also highly recommended for students as part of their art of learning skills. Positive affirmations give hope and act as a guide for students to stay focused on their path to success.

Children stay alert during their studies when they are taught the slogans and phrases that neutralize negative influences. All that’s required is constant exposure to the affirmation phrases which can be hung on a wall for them to read or recite.

Here are some affirmations for students:
• I am a super reader.
• I study like a sponge.
• The exam is output learning.
• I always laugh and smile a lot.
• I learn quickly and remember well.
• I always find ways to improve myself.
• For things to change, I must change first.
• Learning is fun, exciting and interesting.
• When I have a plan, I have directed attention.
• I always plan time to do my revision every day.
• My memory is getting better and better each day.
• When I have a purpose, I have deeper concentration.
• I have the strength and courage to express myself.
• I appreciate and love myself more and more every day.
• When I read, I use my finger to help me focus and concentrate.
• When I used my body to sit correctly, I have controlled concentration.
• I will do my best, and if I make a mistake, I will learn from my mistake.
• I am exceptional, I like who I am, and I feel great about myself.
• When I study for 25-40 minutes, I will take a short study break of 20 seconds to three minutes only, and then I will continue.
• When I walk, talk, smile and, more importantly, think like an “A” Star student, I will begin to be like one.

The Dragonfly And The Phoenix In The Sky

Vol. 24

My Lost Home

I lost my mother a few years ago and ever since then, I’d stopped laughing like I used to. The change was so subtle that I didn’t even notice my lost smile and laughter until much later. I still was socially active, fulfilled at work and enjoying the peace when alone in my own space. But somehow I felt something was missing, and that something was joy.

At the same time, I felt I no longer had a place that I recognized as home. Growing up, I had experienced home as a place where my parents were, where I could return to when I needed love and protection. Having lost Mom, I had lost my home…

The Dragonfly

A couple of months after my mother’s passing, a big red dragonfly sat on my bedroom wall. I had a beautiful flower-print wallpaper and the dragonfly was just quietly sitting there. I wondered how a big dragonfly like that could end up in my room where thick blackout curtains hang, making it virtually impossible for any critter or insect to get in, especially not when we are on the 7th floor of the building.

The dragonfly has been my all-time favourite insect since I was little. For me, this beautiful insect represents joy and freedom. A dragonfly is the only insect that I don’t mind having in my room.

That particular dragonfly on my bedroom wall that night reminded me of Mom… and only she would have known about my love for dragonflies. When I was about to fall asleep in my bed that night, I heard that dragonfly land on my pillow. Gently lifting up my pillow to the window, I watched as the insect flew off into the night. This event is especially memorable for me because of what it represents and I remember it to this day.

Mom

My mother had gone through many surgeries and had suffered much pain before she finally left. I witnessed all that as I had spent a lot of time being with her in those last days. Once, as I was changing the dressing on her wound, she asked me why she had to suffer so much in her life. I could not answer her, because I did not have the answer for her. In that silence, I could feel her and suffered her pain in me.

Trained as a Family Constellation practitioner, I learn that we as children carry our parents’ pain and suffering out of our fidelity and loyalty to them.

Unconsciously, I had not allowed myself to be happy if my parents were not happy. I understood that concept in my mind but somehow, I still could not regain the joy within. There was something deeper.

Healing Female Lineage

I too went through a surgery a year and a half ago. It was a minor surgery but due to complications, I had insomnia for a month which slowed my recovery process. I encountered many emotional challenges throughout my recovery, partly due to bouts of post-surgery depression. Mindful of what I was going through, I allowed the emotions to flow through me and reflected on them as they arose.

The most significant emotion I had felt was helplessness and the feeling of not being supported, especially from male figures in my life. THose who came to visit or help me through that difficult period were mostly women like my aunt and friends. That reminded me of my mother’s life as a housewife with a husband who was hardly around to provide physical and emotional support. Growing up, I watched Mom do everything herself. My father was mostly missing from the house as he spent his time either at this business or at the gambling table.

I saw the same pattern in my maternal grandmother’s life. She too was married to a husband who was never home but out gambling. I then reflected on my past relationships. What I realized was that unconsciously I had repeated my mother’s lineage pattern and attracted men who were either workaholics or unavailable.

Dad

I started learning to receive from Dad during my recovery. He offered me some cash to hire a helper to help me as I wasn’t able to do most things myself such as preparing my food. My first reaction was to decline his offer because I felt I was grown up and working and it would not seem right to take his money. But on second thought, I saw his offer as his way of expressing his love. He couldn’t be there to help me physically but money could bring me the help that he wished to give. So, I said, “Sure Dad, I’ll take your money!”

My relationship with Dad had always been only “okay”; not too good yet not too bad. Hence I felt that there was still room for improvement. As my body healed from the surgery, I took the opportunity to just do that and heal what needed to be healed in our relationship.

Healing Missing Fathers

In Family Constellation, parents are the ‘larger’ figures and it’s appropriate to receive from them. Being able to receive from parents opens us to receive from the Universe. I have learned to be the ‘smaller’ one when with them. By accepting his gift of money, I gave my father back his power as the larger support figure for me.

A part of me loved my father a lot when I was little. But watching my mother suffer, I had judged him. That judgement became more when I took it upon myself to be responsible for my parents’ marriage and their happiness. If only I could step out of that and go back to taking my place as their child, I would be free! If only I could stop interfering and making judgements about him and their marriage. This is merely a concept; it requires strong intention and some inner movement to let go and leave what’s between them, back to them!

My healing journey with my father hasn’t stopped there as there is always more room for improvement in any relationship. Therefore, I continue to explore and read books about healing my relationship with him.

I recently attended a coaching tool training in Bali. Not coincidentally, many of my classmates were also going through their own healing process with their missing fathers = fathers who had died young, who were divorced from the mothers or who left their families.

The Phoenix In The Sky

I got to deepen the connection with my father emotionally during the training by witnessing the others’ healing processes. I got to let go of my Mom’s sadness and the responsibility for her suffering. That was the biggest gift I received apart from the coaching tool I picked up.

At the end of the training, I extended my stay and had my self-time at the hotel gym while my classmates left. I was on the treadmill, looking out at the golf course, when I saw many dragonflies flying about at the green. I was delighted and went out intending to take some pictures of them. As I was chasing one particularly colourful dragonfly with my camera, I clicked a few shots without actually seeing what I was shooting because of the sun’s intense glare.

Later when I scrolled through my pictures at the hotel restaurant, I was surprised to see what I had captured in one of those pictures – a cloud and the sun had together create the shape of a giant phoenix rising into the sky.

The phoenix represents significant transformation. And having the “heart” of the phoenix alight meant that I had regained ‘love’, and that’s where my home is! The colourful dragonfly that I had chased around had led me to take a photo of an image that finally answered the question I had been asking since my mother passed away. Finally, I’d re-discovered my natural joy… to be like a dragonfly – again!

Navigate Your Life With Goddess Guidance

Vol. 29

Fast & Flippant

As a society we tend to flippantly suck the life out of pretty much everything in our lives. We are a fast-food, fast-living society. Just as we throw away the wrappers and packaging of the things we consume, we tend to throw away people too. Someone doesn’t agree with us or fit into our lifestyle and there we are – judging, ghosting and moving on to the next shiny sparkly-looking human we can find.

Words are frequently thrown around too, often spoken with no meaning or heart supporting them. Asking someone how they are has become passé, nobody seems to care or has time to care anymore.

What We Need Now

We are drawing near to that time of year, when once again, we would’ve accumulated a whole lot of new experiences, challenges and growth. We may feel we have gained enough distance from last year’s life-changing events, and feel these changes settling into the world. However, we are still a long way away from our destination; the journey has only just begun.

A song comes to mind when I think of the benevolent goddess energy, perhaps a little “yesteryear”, but the sentiment of the 60’s song What The World Needs Now Is Love by Jackie DeShannon will never outdate.

Bountiful Benevolence

On that note, it is not all doom and gloom – far from it. The world will always be in a state of flux, change and challenge. Our lives function in this way too. The very nature of the world is one of polarity where we live in a shifting continuum of opposites. Just as benevolence will never not exist, so too will this beautiful and bountiful goddess energy always be available to us.

A Healing Balance

There are thousands of myths and studies around ancient matriarchal societies and goddess worship, which need to continue if we are ever to evolve as human beings. There is no doubt that across the globe, spanning centuries, women and the feminine qualities have been undermined, abused, omitted and marginalized into subordination.

If the world needs one thing to bring itself back from the brink of self-destruction, then equality between the masculine and feminine energies would be a good starting point. Simply acknowledging this devastating imbalance will be the springboard to bring about the greatest healing to our planet once again.

Mother Of Life

The benevolent goddesses remind us that kindness, compassion, beauty and love are some of the most powerful keys to creating a harmonious balanced world. Each and every one of us has been birthed into this world through women, we each have a mother – whether ambivalent or involved – which we are connected to in one way or another.

Our mothers represent the elevated mother archetypal energy of which Mother Earth plays her part in sustaining us throughout our lives too. It is time to consciously step into the feminine aspects of our lives – whether male or female – and allow these compassionate, encouraging women to lead us back to becoming the open, loving-hearted people we were born to be.

The Benevolent Goddesses

Let us learn how from some of these benevolent goddesses.

Athena – Goddess of Courage, Clarity and Wisdom

Perhaps the most well-known and familiar of the goddesses in the East. This deity is both considered a goddess and Boddhisattva (enlightened being). The full meaning of her Chinese name means “One who sees and hears the sounds of the human world” or the “one who hears prayers” or “hears the cries of the world”. She will come to those, when called, to aid the lost, unfortunate, bereft, troubled and sick.

She tirelessly offers her help and service to all, claiming she will not abandon humanity until every being becomes enlightened. Quan Yin allows us to feel mercy and forgiveness towards those who have wronged us, to be gentle with ourselves and our faults and tap into the beauty of our spiritual gifts. Her compassionate nature is unending, she alleviates suffering and offers unconditional love to all.

Hathor – Goddess of Love, Fertility, Nurturing, Celebrations, Beauty

This multi-faceted goddess emulates many modern women with her multitask-filled days. Hence, she is given the name “The Hathors” – splitting herself into 7 goddesses just to get everything done in a day. She is the embodiment of feminine energy and reminds you to receive from life instead of always having to push through.

Associated with a gentle mothering presence and midwife support through and at childbirth. When you are feeling low and can’t find the beauty and joy in life, she will help you rediscover your way, guiding you like a mother, best friend and ally.

Aphrodite – Goddess of Love, Beauty & Sexuality

This ancient Greek goddess is the epitome of female sexuality, unadorned passion and love affairs. She is the obvious choice to call upon if your marriage or love affair needs an infusion of passion and re-igniting the flames. Aphrodite, well known for her attractiveness and beauty, can help you tap into your feminine gifts and charms. She will give you the boost you need to appreciate your body image and accept your sexuality.

Don’t know what to wear? Ask for her help! Her energy is useful when you want to be noticed – but beware you don’t attract the wrong types to you either. Make your intentions clear, for Aphrodite’s charms are enticing but intentional – she is no fool and doesn’t suffer them either. In Roman mythology her counterpart is Venus – the paragon of the spirit of the goddess.

Parvati – Goddess of Love, Empowerment & Devotion

This Hindu goddess addresses the wide scope of what women can accomplish in society and family life. She too is known by many names and takes many forms; her essence is that of All That Is, the enlivening feminine force of the Universe and creation.

Parvati is omnipresent like a maternal figure being everywhere at once, watching over her children and adapting to the moment to help wherever she can.

When you feel constricted by society’s norms, she can help you free yourself from these constraints and give you the push to be whoever you want to be. Parvati reminds you that there are no limits to what you can create and accomplish when living authentically, in spite of adversity.

Yemanya /Yemaya /Yemoja – Goddess of Rivers, Transformation, Opportunity

This universal goddess’ roots are found in West Africa. However, according to myth, she is to have travelled across the oceans to reach the shores of South/Central America. This has led her to be envisioned as part mermaid and worshipped as a powerful water spirit too (Orisha).

She oversees everything pertaining to the feminine roles, is both protector and an encourager who sees the bigger picture and opportunities that you may not be open enough to see.

Yemanya is the goddess to work with in times of transformation and change, when we need support and guidance. She is very good at helping you be at the right place at the right time, and encourages patience through the process of change. Trust the process and ride the waves of change, renewal and harmony with her.

Lady Guinevere – Goddess of Love, Romance & Growth

This Celtic Goddess is recognized for her incarnation and marriage to the famed King Arthur, even though her heart lay with his handsome cousin, the knight Lancelot. She claims many forms that pre-date the Arthurian legend, such as Faery Queen, Flower Maid and The Green Lady.

She will assist you when looking to find your true soul mate in this lifetime, and help ease any heartbreaks and unrequited love and loss experiences. Guinevere is a champion for women who have been dumped, abused, mistreated and side-lined.

Guinevere is the best friend that wants the best for you in your romantic life, and helps to bring romance back into your life, even if not in a relationship. She can assist with learning to love yourself and wait for the perfect partner, while becoming the perfect partner.

Being Here For Us Always

There are just so many beautiful goddesses to learn from, each with their own stories and legends. Who can honestly say that they cannot identify with each of them, in at least one small aspect or way?

Think back on a time you have been heartbroken, dumped, ignored, rejected, abandoned, betrayed… and now think about what you needed most at that time? You could perhaps say you needed a vacation, a drink or a tub of ice cream!

My bet is that you needed to feel compassion, you needed to hear it would all be alright, you needed to feel a genuine caring hug. You needed the shoulder of someone like Quan Yin and the warm embrace of Hathor. You needed the experience of Guinevere to guide you, and the spark of Aphrodite to let you know it’s not over yet. And when all was said and done, Parvati would come and pick you up off the floor and tell you it’s time to get back out there and start contributing to life again.

We are born with open, loving, receiving hearts. It is only our conditioning and environmental experiences which slowly start to block and build the barriers, which then turn love into a commodity of the “deserving”.

If we could find a way to remember our true nature at birth, the world would burst and bloom with love and respect for every living being. Surely that is what the world needs now!

Join me as we continue to celebrate the journey of the goddesses in another volume with the gracious Goddesses of abundance, wisdom, prosperity and luck!

Could Stress Actually Be Good For You?

Vol. 13

The more I study the body, the more I am in awe of what our bodies do for us. The body has all these cool mechanisms. We have a built-in heating system: when we get very cold, we automatically start shivering which gets the body moving to keep warm. When pregnant, the human body is more sensitive to bacteria and what happens as a result? The sense of smell becomes more acute during pregnancy, so the woman can smell when food is off.

The Body Is An Orchestra

In order to create beautiful music all parts of the orchestra need to be in constant communication with the other parts and the whole. The musicians need to be rested, fed and have their instruments tuned. The first violin needs to listen to the other violins, the strings need to be balanced to the brass, and everyone needs to play what they are meant to and follow the conductor. This is also the case with the body. Everything needs to be in tune with everything else to create solid health and wellbeing.

This is why health care that addresses the whole body together with its environment as a system is more effective over the long term for our well-being than just addressing different parts of the body in isolation.

What leads to this communication breakdown in the body? Stress in its widest sense does. Biochemical stress in the form of toxins, structural stress, such as sports injuries, work stress, traumatic events, etc.

Put Your Glass Down

There is an example often used by motivational speakers to explain the impact of stress. You ask a person to hold a glass of water, and ask, ‘How heavy is this glass of water? Not so heavy, right? If you hold it for a minute or two it’s not a problem, right?’ The absolute weight isn’t relevant, but it depends on how long you hold it. If you hold it for a day, a week or a year, your arm will become paralyzed and non-functioning. It is the same with stress and worries. If we spend too long in superpower mode, we end up overtaxing the body and our health will suffer. We need down time in healing and rest mode to repair, maintain and recharge.

It would never be possible to remove ALL stress from your life, but in theory, if it was possible, it would mean deep depression and a shutting down of the body and mind. We need to challenge our bodies and our minds in order not to become rigid and fossilized.

We All Need Our Autumns Too

Your body is built to go to that job interview and to meet that deadline. We are built to go through grief in the same way that trees are designed to get rid of their leaves in autumn. We need to say goodbye to some people, habits and life periods to make room for spring and new beginnings.

We have two modes: superpower mode and healing / rest mode – also known as the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous response. The superpower mode is for high-performance situations mentally, emotionally or physically. The adrenal glands pump out adrenalin, which increases heart rate and blood pressure, expands lung capacity, sends more blood to the muscles and change metabolism to maximize blood glucose levels. All this to enable higher performance of body and mind. When in healing / rest mode the body gets the space to do the amazing repair work it is designed to do.

Make Stress A Powerful Ally

American health psychologist, Kelly McGonigal, used to be on the bandwagon that vilifies stress, until she came across the following study: 30,000 Americans were tracked for 8 years. They were asked two questions: ‘How much stress have you experienced in the last year’, and ‘Do you believe that stress is harmful for your health?’ This information was correlated with public death records.

The study concluded that people with a lot of stress sure enough had a 43 percent increased risk of dying. BUT here is the interesting fact – that was ONLY the case for the group of people who believed that stress was harmful to their health. In fact, people with low stress and a belief that stress was bad for them had a higher risk of dying than the people with high stress but an embracing attitude to that stress.

Our awareness of stress impacting our health negatively has come back to bite itself in the tail and created unhelpful belief systems around stress and how the body works.

McGonigal also quotes another survey looking at the impact that helping others has on stress*.

1,000 people in the United States were again asked to estimate their stress level. This time it was correlated with how much time people spend helping others and public death records. The study showed that there is a 30 percent increase in our risk of dying for every major traumatic life event. The good news on the other hand is that for people who spent time caring for others on a weekly basis, there is no increment.

A Self-Correcting Mechanism

The reason for this significant difference is to be found in the neuropeptide, oxytocin. This hormone increases trust and empathy and has anti-anxiety properties. It is mostly known for its prevalence during and after birth and in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship.

One of the lesser-known facts about what is also called The Love Hormone, The Cuddle Chemical or The Bliss Hormone is that it also serves as a stress hormone. Under stress, as part of the sympathetic nervous system response, the pituitary gland pumps out oxytocin which increases our empathy, trust in others and makes us crave closeness with others. In doing so it motivates to seek support from people around us to help us get through tough times. Furthermore, the heart has receptors for oxytocin and it helps regenerate the heart after stress.

Work With Your Body

Work with your body and embrace the ups and downs in intensity rather than being scared of stress.

Fostering and nourishing close relationships and helping others will create natural biochemical stress resilience to help you through stressful times without compromising your health.

But you must ‘put the glass down’, and create routines and practices to aid that process, such as meditation, breathing exercises and mindfulness.

Lastly, when you experience compromised health, look for health care solutions that respect the body’s complexity and connectedness, as that is the most effective way.

*Source: Kelly McGonigal: How to Make Stress your Friend, TEDGlobal 2013

Finding The Right Balance In Your Relationship

Vol. 3

‘What is it about relationships that is so special?’, you might ask.
The answer: everything!

Our life is about relationships. After we are born, it’s about our relationships with our parents and siblings. Later on, about our relationships with friends and finally with one of the most significant relationships of all, the relationship with our life partners is the relationship I would like to dig deeper into.

The Systemic Approach In Relationships

There is no right or wrong with the decision to get married. Some of us often hear stories about marriages that end up in divorce and we ask ourselves, ‘Is this how a real relationship is supposed to be like?’ Well, no.

When a couple decides to tie the knot, it should ideally last until the last day of their lives. I haven’t yet met a person who thinks, on their wedding day, ‘If this marriage doesn’t work out, I will just file a divorce.’

I look at relationships from the systemic perspective which originated from Bert Hellinger. He has worked with many couples with relationship issues and many of these involve intimacy in relationships.

Some of the clients are not married but live with their partners and so face a different set of problems as opposed to unmarried couples. Typically Hellinger finds the root causes of relationship issues by asking questions directly to the couple.

Commitment In Relationships

One of the questions Hellinger may ask is, ‘So, you are living with your partner but not marrying him/her? You are still waiting for someone better then, right?’ This is usually followed by a period of silence. Most people would be shocked to hear this question posed to them, and Hellinger would not explain much about it. But the question makes a lot of sense if one is to see the intention behind it.

Not being willing to commit to a marriage may be because we carry a subconscious hope or feeling that there would be someone better ‘out there’. I am not advocating that we should get married on a whim. This is said only to illustrate a different perspective on relationships and how relationships can be trying because of our hidden fears and desires.

It may also be understandable that if someone has gone through a divorce, then the person would naturally cautious about commitment and may not want to jump into another marriage. This does not mean that he or she is not committed to the present relationship.

Love At First Sight

Do you believe in ‘love at first sight’? Have you ever felt it? Did you marry the person with whom you feel in love with, at the first sight?

It may be interesting for you to know what ‘love at first sight’ means. It means that we are looking at the other person and seeing a mirror of ourselves in the other person. In that mirror that is reflected, we see the lessons we aim to learn through each other.

Hellinger puts it in other words: One neurosis looks at another neurosis and says, ‘Let’s work on our neurosis together’. Couples feel an instant attraction because they see in each other what they have in themselves. And they feel that it’s easier to work on those issues together.

True Love – Love At Second Sight

In some cases, ‘love at first sight’ becomes ‘love at second sight’ – mature love. Through commitment and mutual respect the couple grows together learning to love on a different level. This is what TRUE LOVE means.

You may ask, ‘How can I get there? What do I need to do? We quarrel so much that we feel there is more hate than love.’

It is actually quite simple to discover the love again if you are willing. Next time you argue with your partner, pause for a while and look into your partner’s eyes. Just for a moment. You will then realize that you can’t quarrel anymore. When you look into your partner’s eyes – you are looking into his/her soul and at the same time into your own (remember the mirror?). You may just feel again the love that brought the two of you together. Try it out – you will be surprised.

Another tip: Think about the beginning of your relationship – the moment you fell in love. Feel it again, bring this emotion up into your consciousness and look at your partner through this emotion. It will freshen up your relationship, no matter how long you have been together. You can do it every morning when you wake up and look at your still sleeping partner. And you can even whisper into his/her ear, ‘I love you’. Do it a few days in a row and expect miracles to happen.

Balancing The Good Deeds In Relationships

One of the most important things in a relationship is ‘balance’. There must be a balance between giving and taking; otherwise the relationship won’t survive long. In order for love to flow and grow between couples we need to be aware of this balance.

If you partner shows you love in a certain way, for example, gifts or flowers, it is important that you give something back in return. In fact, you can give a little bit more.

Then your partner will see and feel your giving and then he/she will do better to give you even more. And so the relationship energy will always grow in a positive way.

If one person is always giving and the other always taking, the imbalance may eventually cause one of the two to leave. In most cases, the person who takes more will leave because she/he won’t be able to accept the imbalance and her/his own inability to give back.

Balancing The Negative Deeds In Relationships

The same goes for balancing ‘hurtful deeds’. If your partner hurts you in any way, you can counter balance that ‘hurtful deed’ by doing something nice. This will help to rebalance the relationship. You can also forgive your partner, remembering that forgiving also means that you are letting go of any negative feelings you may feel. Forgiving is never approving what he/she did to you – but rather, a willingness to let go and heal yourself.

In a relationship, partners have equal status, if someone starts to feel superior or better than the other, problems will arise. Balance is one of the most profound dynamics in a relationship. I am sure that most people will resonate with this. Sometimes even friendships fall apart because one person gives more than the other.

Emotional Alchemy: Turning Workplace Pressure into Inner Power

In the middle of our workday, there are moments we often overlook. A comment stings. A deadline weighs heavy on the chest. An email unsettles us in ways we can’t explain. And yet, we keep moving—pushing through, smiling on cue, staying composed—because that’s what we’ve been taught.

But beneath the tasks and meetings, something inside us longs to be heard. What if these emotions weren’t obstacles, but messengers guiding us toward growth?

This is emotional alchemy. The art of transforming emotional heaviness into clarity and resilience. It’s not about escaping work, shutting down, or pretending everything is fine. It’s about meeting emotions with compassion and allowing them to guide us back to ourselves.

Emotions Are Not the Enemy

In many workplaces, emotions are treated as distractions – messy, inconvenient, best hidden away. But emotions themselves are not the problem. Suppressing them is.

For example:

• Anger often points to crossed boundaries.
• Anxiety can be a call for safety or slowing down.
• Sadness may signal grief or misaligned values.

When ignored, these signals grow louder, showing up as stress, disconnection, or burnout. But when acknowledged with kindness, emotions soften. They reveal wisdom. They shift.

Emotional alchemy begins when we stop running from our feelings and start listening.

What Emotional Alchemy Really Is

Emotional alchemy isn’t about “fixing” yourself or being endlessly positive. It’s about presence. Holding a space for emotions without judgment, and letting them evolve naturally.

It’s as simple as:

• Feeling what is real, without shame.
• Naming it honestly, without judgment.
• Breathing into it, without resistance.
• Letting it transform, without force.

The magic lies in gentleness, not control.

Simple Practices

You don’t need hours to practice emotional alchemy. It begins with awareness, breath, and compassion. Here are simple ways to bring it into your day:

1. The 3-Breath Reset
When emotions rise, inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 8, and whisper inwardly: “I feel. I breathe. I soften.”
This calms the nervous system and grounds you back into your body.

2. Emotional Reflection Journal
At the end of the day, ask and journal down: “What did I feel today? What was it teaching me?”
This gentle check-in turns emotions into insight.

3. Heart Tap Grounding
Place your hand on your heart, tap softly, and affirm: “It’s safe to feel. I am safe with me.”
This restores inner safety when things feel overwhelming.

4. Naming Without Judging
Silently name emotions as they arise: This is tension. “This is fear. This is sadness.”
Naming creates space between you and the feeling, opening room for transformation.

Creating Emotional Safety Together

Emotional safety at work isn’t just HR’s responsibility. It starts with each of us. Small acts make a difference: a genuine “how are you?”, a softer tone, or a mindful pause before reacting.

Your presence may become the safe harbor someone else needs today. And as we learn to be kinder with our inner world, we naturally create safer spaces for others.

Coming Home to Yourself

Many believe peace can only be found outside of work. But you can return to yourself even in the middle of a meeting, while answering emails, or during a stressful call.

• Whisper kindness to yourself during presentations.
• Ground your feet on the floor before negotiations.
• Take a breath before replying to a difficult message.

These small acts are emotional alchemy in motion. The moment you choose to pause instead of push, to breathe instead of break, to feel instead of freeze.

You Are the Alchemist

You are not too sensitive. You are beautifully attuned in a world that often forgets how to feel.

You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be – awakening, softening, remembering.

And you are not alone. Every day, more hearts are learning to meet work, and life, with presence.

You are the alchemist. Not with fire and gold, but with breath, compassion, and courage. Let your workplace become not just a site of tasks, but a space of healing, because you showed up with awareness.

Every feeling is a messenger. Every moment is a chance to return to wholeness.

You Can Love Again

Vol. 9

“How Could You Do This To Me?”

What do you do when your spouse or partner has an affair?

I have my own real-life story to share. When you first find out, you may have many questions racing through your mind… “How could the person do this to me? How long has this affair been going on”?

Now try to put a pause to all these thoughts. Just tell yourself and your mind that you will attend to them later. All these thoughts are not helping you in any way. Believe me, I know how that feels.

Everything DOES Happen For A Reason

Just for a moment, take my hand and believe that everything happens for a reason.

Believe that you will find a way out, and start to focus on yourself instead of your spouse and the betrayal.

Focus just for a moment on healing your heart and emotions, and then you will gain more peace and love.

Based on my personal experience, let me share a few steps to heal yourself.

The 4 Steps To Love Again

Step 1: Connect With Yourself

Usually after discovering an affair, many people will experience confused thoughts and emotions. Every morning before starting your day, take a few minutes to be silent. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

Feel your heart and give yourself permission to feel your emotions. Acknowledge all the feelings or emotions that may surface. This includes shock, sadness, insecurity, fear and anger all of which are absolutely normal.

Have courage by allowing the emotions to run through you. Let your feelings out and never suppress them, as these emotions are negative energy that must be released. The more you face your emotions, the more courageous you become.

If it makes you feel better to release the emotions physically, you may choose to shout and scream at the top of your lungs at the beach or an isolated spot.

Never take out your unresolved emotions on others, and this includes your spouse. Everything happens for a reason, even if you cannot believe it now.

As you become stable emotionally, you will be able to accept what is happening in your relationship. I emerged stronger after going through them.

Step 2: Accept The Situation With Love

After releasing some of your emotions, you will feel some measure of inner peace and clarity.

This is the best time for you to go deep within yourself to contemplate on the affair and what may have contributed to it. You cannot change the past, but you can decide your present and future.

Gently allow yourself to accept and embrace the past. Admittedly, the scenario isn’t what you had wished for – but you will now be able to use that clarity by embracing it with love.

I suggest you make it a daily practice to connect with yourself and visualize the whole process in Step 1. Look within and check if there are further emotions that need releasing.

This is the time where there may be increased awareness of the underlying lessons behind the incident. Some may even realize it is a Divine gift to learn and grow from – so you may change something within you that might have caused this situation. There are valuable lessons to be learned in these difficult times although this may seem incredibly hard for you to accept.

Step 3: Forgive To Free Yourself

By going through the emotional process of letting go, you will soon rediscover an entire different side of yourself! It may be a prelude to complete inner freedom, resulting from the intention and the act of forgiving.

Learn to forgive yourself, and forgive everyone involved. Since you are involved in this extra-marital affair, you do bear some responsibility. This is true, even if you see yourself as the victim.

I hope that you gain more self-awareness through these steps and after a while, you will agree that you had unintentionally created the conditions or issues in your marriage. That is why you need to learn to forgive yourself too. You will realize that the most difficult person to forgive is not your spouse or the third party, but it is YOURSELF.

This is the time that you are ready to move forward in your life. Remember to acknowledge the courage that has helped you to work on your emotions up till now.

Step 4: To Love Again

Retrospectively, when you look back you will realize that you had healed yourself and are now starting on a transformative journey. Most of the time we are in our comfort zone, and barely have time to spend on self-contemplation.

Of all the problems you have in life, relationship issues are probably the ones that bring out the strongest emotions. These help you move out from your old “stationary” self and change – to move forward, learn and grow to be a more beautiful you.

Try something new now! You might want to make some lifestyle changes or learn something new. Focusing more on yourself increases your awareness about your life. This is an important part of self-love.

Look within instead of looking at others. Understand yourself more. When you truly pay attention to yourself – your body, your thoughts, your behavior, you will realize you have love within you.

And when you do, that’s when you open the door wide to attracting new love to you.

Beyond Love

You are born of love; your parents’ love created you. But like most people, you may be too caught up with daily routines until you neglect what is truly inside your heart. The moment you discover that your true self is filled with incredible amounts of love, you will feel and enjoy love all over again – but this time, it will be a love that’s beyond the human possessive love.

THE ABCs OF LISTENING TO YOUR HEART

Since the scientific revolution, humankind as a civilization has placed a premium on using the logic of the rational mind or brain to solve our problems and make sense of our world. This emphasis on the mind, which has brought us tremendous material progress, has however made us forget our connection with our hearts.

Looking at how the world is today, perhaps it is time for us to reconnect with our hearts to put more balance back into the way we solve our problems. The heart has intelligence, which unlike the hard factual approach of the mind, is based on a kind of fuzzy ‘logic’ which is just as valid. We exist within a dualistic (some would say digital) reality which requires the heart to function together with the mind as partners rather than adversaries. The’ king’ cannot rule alone and must have its queen.

How many bad choices have you made in your life? Why is it that with all the brain logic you have in your arsenal, you still make bad choices in your life? What’s missing? Personally, I have had my share of trip-ups with money, career and relationships. For me, what was missing was my heart. Having found my re-connection, I now make better decisions. Perhaps you too, can do with a little heart “logic” yourself.

Reconnecting with your heart starts with listening to your heart and here is the ABCS to it.

1. A – ATTEND TO YOUR HEART

Paying attention to your heart center is the first step. Simply focus on the area of your physical heart. This activates your heart center and forms the connection from your brain to your heart.

Whilst focusing, feel the sensations it gives out. This is your heart communicating with you. First listen to the beat of your physical heart and thereafter, focus beyond the physical heartbeat to the “rhythm” of your inner heart. By doing this, you begin to form a connection, like tuning in to a radio, with your inner heart’s frequency.

Spend 7 minutes daily on this exercise for 21 days in a stretch until you are totally in tune with your heart’s frequency. If you forget to do it for even a day, you have to start Day 1 all over again, until you can do it without a break for 21 days straight.

2. B – BREATHE TO ENERGIZE

Breathing energizes the heart as the air passes through the lungs near to the heart area. Be sure to do deep breathing (also known as ‘belly breathing’) where you breathe all the way down into the abdomen.

Like what physical exercise does for the body, energizing the heart (not the physical heart but the inner heart) allows more qi or prana (vital life force) to flow through. This makes it stronger and more responsive.

Breathe slowly and mindfully, drawing each breath fully through your nose into your abdomen, holding it in the abdomen for a couple of seconds, and releasing the breath fully through your nose.

Do this for 7 cycles, each cycle comprising an in-breath, the hold and the corresponding out-breath. Done properly, you should feel very comfortable and relaxed. Do this exercise daily for 21 days until it becomes a habit every time you connect with your heart.

3. C- CALM YOUR EMOTIONS

The calmer your emotions, the better you listen to your heart’s response to your enquiry as there will be less “noise” to drown its message. Unsettled emotions are like a turbulent sea, so your heart’s message can easily get lost in such turbulence.

Calming your emotions is a simple matter of not emotionally reacting to people or events that trigger you, be it “good” or “bad” emotions. This requires being observant or mindful of your inner emotions so that they don’t get the better of you.

Observe within yourself the welling up of emotions such as anger for instance, then consciously and willfully choose not to speak or act on such occasions. Note that anger doesn’t just “happen”, there is always a phase when the emotion starts to form and build up – this is the critical phase at which you should “nip the emotion in the bud” before it grows into something

4. SHHH!…BE QUIET, AND LISTEN

The heart is subtle and speaks almost in a whisper. So you must be quiet if you are to hear your heart’s voice. Your heart does not compete for attention not does it demand attention. It leaves you with free will to choose to listen to it or not.

The first three steps (A, B and C) of listening to your heart set you up to be quiet within so that you can listen to your heart with more clarity. A quiet space will amplify the softest whispers of the heart. Then, all you need to do is to simply ask the question and listen attentively to your heart for the answer which always comes instantly.

Food for thought (for those who finished reading the article):

Notice how the above article seems to appeal to your brain with its logical attempt. Would you have continued reading the article if it was otherwise? Would you have just “listened to your heart” and continued reading the article if it wasn’t “reasoned” out the way it was? “Think” about this…and when you do, would you be doing the “thinking” with your brain or your heart…or both?

THE BUSINESS OF ABUNDANCE

Vol.17

How Do You Feel?

Do you feel tired and lethargic all the time? Stressed up about your business or work? When feeling so lethargic, one can hardly think clearly and work on one’s success. How do you get back to feeling positive and proactive? How you feel affects your abundance mind.

Friends Ask…

Many friends ask me how I keep being energetic all the time. Do I take vitamins? Do I do particular treatments? Hardly, I tell them. What I do is that I practice an abundance mind and that keeps me going all day long.

So What Is This Abundance Mind?

Abundance mind is when I feel wholesome and when my inner self is aligned with my external well- being. An example of alignment is when my inner self feels peaceful and abundant, and this will be reflected in my external circumstances such as my business.

Why Abundance Mind?

When I started researching the subject of abundance, I came across lots of information on achieving abundance in one’s personal life. However, very little is said about abundance in business, groups, organizations or even whole communities. For this article, I would like to talk about having an abundance mind in business.

The other reason for writing about an abundance mind in business is because I would like to share my experiences and help people succeed in their business like I did. There are many fantastic business ideas that run on common beliefs, such as, so long you have customers you are fine. But is that enough? Can the business sustain over the long run? Will customers keep coming? Will there be new customers?

The business owner should realize that low energy levels in the people who run the business, from the business owner to the staff, do affect the business. Low energy levels do not pull in the customers (and other stakeholders including staff and suppliers) as compared with a confident, positive mindset. Even if customers come, they may not be retained.

The Importance Of An Abundance Mind In Business

“If you do not do what you cannot do, that’s no problem. But if you do not do what you can do, you are a tragedy.” ~ Sadhguru

The Bigger The Purpose, The Bigger The Success

When the purpose is not just about oneself but also for the betterment of or inspires others, the universe will send the right energy of success and prosperity in the direction of the business. I am not just talking about social enterprises or charities, but also for-profit organizations. When the purpose is right, success will come.

Team Alignment

When you and your team are aligned strongly to a clear and bigger purpose, you will see that you will attract the right business partners, suppliers and customers or clients who will be similarly aligned. They will agree with your purpose and goals and they will support you through not only the good but also the bad times.

Now let’s take a look at what it takes to build an abundance mind in business.

Building The Abundance Mind

The abundance mind in business is achieved when the entrepreneur feels blissful, contented and always have good numbers of clients and resources. The organization is able to attract good people to work with them, at the same time pulling in great clients and resources. This type of organization competes with themselves rather than with “competitors”, their purpose being to bring massive value to their customers.

Align The Core Values Of The People

Step 1: Align the core values of individuals, partners and employees.

For individuals
Start by writing down 5-6 core values that resonate with you, for example: integrity, punctuality, transparency, love, family. After stating your core values, write down a line or two to explain what you mean about the core values you have chosen to uphold.

For partners/employees
After writing down your individual core values, have your partner or employee write down her core values. Do get her to also write down a line or two that explains those core values.

Step 2: Have a discussion to combine core values

The two of you should discuss your core values together. Are there similarities? Are there differences? With any difference, is it something the both of you can compromise on or modify? Combine your core values and streamline them to fewer than 10 items, which then make up the team’s core values.

Step 3: Make a decision

What happens when you do not accept your partner/employee’s core values? Call off the collaboration if you cannot accept her values.

Let me share with you a situationI was involved in. I received a long distance call from a potential collaborator. And during that first call, we already had quite a few points that neither of us could compromise on. Right after the call, I quietened down and brought forth my core values and marked off those values that didn’t resonate with his. I then called off further discussions after discovering how unaligned he and I were.

Align The Business With The Inner Self

What else do you do to achieve abundance mindset? How do you align the business with your inner self?

Let me share with you my morning regime.
1. I go through a gratitude process and answer the following questions:
• What’s my goal for my business today (the one thing I want to most achieve)?
• What are the 10 things that I am most grateful for now in my business?
• What am I willing to give to others today?

2. I then follow a Priming Process shared by Anthony Robbins. Key learnings of Priming Process:
• Practice gratitude (as in #1)
• Visualize (colored light filling the body to heal all parts of you and all problems)
• Share love (send positive energy and love to other people)
• Celebrate all wins (feel the feeling of success as if you have already achieved your chosen business goals)

3. Throughout the day, I would use the Insight Timer App to do meditation.
This is an interesting app as it provides choices of guided meditations. No more excuses that you don’t have time because you can select a 5-minute meditation and do it even when you are commuting.

4. I use a planner to plan and review my daily, weekly, monthly and yearly activities to keep moving forward towards my business goals. I also use this planner to record my vision, mission and goals that I review from time to time. This is important to constantly keep myself focused and in alignment with my business goals, especially during stressful times.

5. I use essential oils daily to maintain my focus, clarity of mind and to help me relax. Throughout the day, I use different oils for different purposes. I particularly like White Angelica essential oil to guard off negative energies.

6. Loving myself. I spend some time weekly to do things I like. When you love yourself more, you can also love others more. This is how love is.

All businesses should adopt the abundance mind. This is the way forward if a business is to thrive and prosper in this new age. Once the inner self aligns with the external well-being and when one does things that one is passionate about, success and well-being will happen synchronously. When more people such as business owners and employees live abundant lives with the abundance mind, it would augur a more abundant, happier and peaceful era for our world.

SHOWING ME HOW TO BE A DAD

If the word “root” means the “source, basic cause or origin” of something, then we can say that Father is one of the 2 roots of one’s biological existence, the other being Mother.

Father’s Day is upon us this year on 15 June.

I am lucky to have spent good time with my father who had already passed on years ago. And because I thought he was such a hero dad, I am doing my best to continue his legacy through my role as a father to my teenage son.

The following are things which I want to say to my father as I contemplate this short article which I dedicate to him who is and will always remain my root in this life’s journey.

A Message To My Father

I loved my own father. He was my hero. I loved him for the closeness that we had and the times that we shared. He was the kind of father who would not hesitate to give loving hugs to his son, praise the young boy to encourage him and who never said a word in anger.

If he was here today for Father’s Day, this is what I would say to him:

Pa, thank you for…………..

Being the loving dad who always showered me with love and affection,

Adopting me that I got better opportunities, was better fed, better clothed, better sheltered and better schooled,

Giving me time no matter how busy you were,

Your gentle voice of wisdom and discipline,

Teaching me to always speak truth and not judge people by their color,

Being the hero when I was bullied on my first day at school,

Attending my prize-giving and sports days at school,

Teaching me how to tie my shoe laces, button my clothes and knot my tie,

The holidays at the beach, the highlands, Penang, Singapore and all other fun places;

And most of all,

Thank you, sir, for showing me how to be a dad.

A Message From A Father

My teenage son is a good son, always considerate and loving toward his parents. But baring it out, I do encounter some communication problems with him because often, I am not sure whether to talk to him as I do a child or an adult.

For this Father’s Day which we would inevitably spend a wonderful day together, this is what I will say to him:

My son, thank you for……….

Giving me the opportunity to shower you with love and affection,

Giving me lessons in patience,

Giving me lessons in unconditional giving,

Helping me get my time by giving it to you

Your voice of innocent curiosity that asks questions which I too learn from,

Letting me be your hero when I answer those questions of yours,

For showing me the need to discipline me too,

Teaching me to always speak my truth if I want you to be truthful,

Helping me recall the sweet memories of my happy school days when I go to yours,

Letting me show you the joy of flying the kite, walking the hills and being with life,

Sharing holidays at the beach, the highlands and all those other fun places,

Allowing me the pleasure of teaching you the dance, the drive and the dare.

And most of all,

Thank you, son, for showing me how to be dad.

NAVIGATE YOUR LIFE WITH GODDESS GUIDANCE PART 2

Spirit Of The Warrior Goddess

Living in the 21st century is convenient but not easy. We have all been fighting battles with the world, our lives and ourselves. We have had to fight our way through pandemics, anxiety, illness, loss, uncertainty and unprecedented hardships.

The warrior goddesses knew that living takes a huge amount of courage. To live with courage is an invitation to live authentically, boldly, bravely and sometimes even a little foolishly. It doesn’t mean our decisions are perfect or right all the time. It doesn’t mean we always feel sure about them.

What it does mean is that we feel sure about ourselves. We are certain that we have an innate ability to forge ahead, even on days when we don’t want to. When we feel we can’t take another step, we still find a way to do what is right and necessary.

We deal with issues as they come up – instead of adding them to tomorrow’s to-do list. This is the spirit of the warrior goddess, the archetype that liberates and protects us using skill and discipline, never giving up and tirelessly fighting for what is fair and truthful.

As Above, So Below

If you think that you are alone in your struggles, think again. For centuries these brave women had to live in a time where they had no voice, no rights, no power. Every single day was a battle to feed, clothe and support themselves and their families. Death, plagues and poverty were rampant. Has anything really changed in our world?

Persephone, Greek Goddess of the Underworld, had 14 siblings! Can you imagine who won the fight for the remote control every evening, never mind the bathroom setup? Relating with primordial gods and goddesses – all the bickering, sibling rivalry, power struggles, adulterous affairs and double crossing for pole position – is not as foreign a concept as you may think.

Apathy and the illusion of time are our biggest downfalls. To the earliest goddesses there was no time like the present, living every day as if it was their last. These heroines had to flex the muscles of confidence, wit, courage and focus every single day – if only to survive.

Just as we cannot go into battle unprepared, we cannot go into our days unprepared either. We need to don the armor of purposeful living, not only to survive but to succeed and thrive.

Wisdom Of The Warrior Goddess

We do not have to be activists, advocates, agitators or aggressive, argumentative mercenaries always on the attack to emulate these great women. We just have to be who we are – sisters, mothers, daughters, husbands, sons – human beings. Unfortunately, over the centuries this is how the feminine warrior has been distorted and viewed – the heartless she-devil – a whole archetype of its own being born from this flawed thinking.

The warrior goddess does not do battle for battle’s sake; there is always a higher purpose. I am quite sure that each of these women had more interesting things to do with their days. Just as the ancient Samurai warriors had a calling to “serve and attend” so too does the deity live with conviction, integrity and honor. This is how she transforms from she-devil to the sacred empowered feminine.

Goddess Energy For The 21st Century

We could do well to master these qualities in our 21st century throw-away culture. We quit, block or delete people and places when things get tough. Often, we fall into a victim mentality, we lose heart and time waiting for something or someone “out there” to come to our rescue.

It is vital to wake up from the sleeping beauty syndrome we have created and save ourselves! Giving up is not an option. Should failure knock on our door, accept defeat but don’t dwell there. A warrior goddess is not bound by the past, though she has taken notes for her future. Can we aspire to embody her spirit where we live, whether man or woman, courageously, truthfully and authentically?

Settling into the new landscape of our lives, I hope these dynamic warrior women encourage you to continue the journey of discovering how this ancient feminine wisdom can enhance your life.

The warrior goddess learns the lessons and always takes flight to fight another day.

7 Magnificent Warrior Goddesses

Let us explore some of the mighty warrior goddesses who can teach us to embody empowerment in healthy and vibrant ways.

Athena – Goddess of Courage, Clarity and Wisdom

This multi-faceted Greek goddess, sometimes known as Pallas Athena, comes to your aid when clarity and intelligence are called for in taking the next step in your life, this is partly the reason she is also known as the Goddess of Wisdom and is often depicted with an owl as companion.

She encourages strategic thinking, instead of violence and aggression, to obtain the results you want; call upon her to help resolve arguments and disagreements.

Athena plays a central role in Greek mythology, always facing her opponents with courage and championing mere mortals to become heroes.

Minerva is the Roman counterpart to this powerful and talented goddess.

Nike – Goddess of Victory

Another well-known goddess of Greek mythology, Nike is the Goddess of Strength, Success and Speed – little wonder a very famous brand recognized the spirit of this goddess and ran with it.

Nike will literally spark the “just do it” attitude and fast track your growth to success.

She is depicted with wings, which also gives one the ability to rise above problems – useful to embody in any competitive environment.

Sekhmet – Goddess of War, Strength and the Sun

This Egyptian deity’s name means “strong and mighty” or “she who is powerful” and she lives up to it with her fierce protective nature and connection to lions.

She is a good ally when you need to stand up for yourself and release being a victim.

Her hot breath-like fire was said to have created the deserts and therefore can wipe out any problem that befalls you.

Sekhmet is associated with inner strength and the confidence to use it!

The Morrigan – Goddess of War and Sovereignty

A complex triple goddess associated with Celtic mythology and is known as “Great Queen” who embodies power, authority and strength.

When your life is out of control, she restores balance and reclamation of authority over your life.

This goddess demonstrates the courage of the mother who sees her child in danger, and puts her own life at risk to save her.

She is fierce, protective, and faces obstacles head on. Morrigan accompanies you on the battlefield.

Morrigan is closely associated with the Valkyries – a powerful group of female figures in Norse mythology who travel between the worlds fighting for justice and accompanying the deceased to the afterlife.

Maat – Goddess of Clarity/ Justice/ Truth

One of the most powerful Egyptian goddesses overseeing and judging the journey of souls at the time of death.

She brings clarity and truth when called upon to clear up confusing situations.

Maat assists with discernment in any situation to hear all sides of the story before passing fair judgement.

Call upon her energy before signing contracts, dealing with any disputes, or when feeling confusion.

Durga – Goddess of War, Strength and Protection

This principal Hindu goddess of war epitomizes courage in the face of adversity.

She provides the courage to stand up for what you believe in and takes no prisoners.

Durga is typically portrayed riding a lion or tiger, displaying multi-limbs to deal with conflict on multiple levels and fronts.

This Hindu goddess is a worthy ally to generate self-confidence and determination.

Freya – Goddess of War/ Love

The beautiful Norse goddess is still venerated across Europe today and is well known in pagan circles.

Freya brings to life the saying “All is fair in love and war”. She is a bold risk taker, loving to celebrate success and life.

Call on her when you need some confidence in social situations, especially on the romantic front, or have low self-esteem and body image issues.

Continue this magnificent journey with me in the next bodymindsoul’s article with the big-hearted, benevolent goddesses of compassion, love, beauty and kindness.

IMMERSE ONESELF IN NATURE

Vol.11

When Time Stood Still

Lying on the lush carpet-like grass, with the beautiful rays of the sun warming me, and enjoying the loving embrace of Mother Earth, I felt completely at peace. Peace and a deep contentment I had never experienced before. Time stood still and it seemed like absolutely nothing mattered. I didn’t have a care in the world (though in reality, that wasn’t the case). Somehow all the thoughts ceased to exist, making my to-do list for the day mundane and frivolous!

On that lovely Saturday morning, there were many families with laughing and screaming children running about excitedly. I was oblivious to it all as I was only aware of the sound of my long deep satisfying breaths that seemed to last forever. Totally relaxed, my mind and body were liquid honey. I felt blissful just lying there on the green grassy grounds of the Lake Gardens Kuala Lumpur, safely cocooned in a world of my own. What an amazing feeling that was!

Every fibre of my being felt the intensity of everything around me. I was connected to the wind that softly caressed my face and my ears were extra sensitive as they picked up the rustling sounds of leaves. My eyes followed the leaves too – they looked like diamonds glistening in the sunlight, smiling and beckoning me to share their juicy secrets! I marveled at how the birds made sweet happy sounds as they flew about. My heightened sense of smell could pick up the fragrances of the different flowers around me. The laughter from people would usually have been like an intrusion but today they all seem to want to convey some message; if only I could interpret what Mother Earth was trying to say to me.

Immersion In Oneness

In that moment, I stopped trying to analyze everything and just went with the whisper from my heart which said, “Stop struggling! Surrender! Be still!” Closing my eyes, in a sudden flash, I realized that I was experiencing what some spiritual teachers/ masters call the state of “Oneness”. Dr. Wayne Dyer defines this as the concept of where we’re from, meaning discarding all ideas of separation from anything and anyone. With that realization, an overwhelming sense of appreciation washed over me. I became aware that every thought and deed affected humanity and Mother Earth. Positive thoughts and actions are uplifting, while negative ones have an adverse effect. The interconnectedness is not limited to humans but extends to all of Mother Earth’s inhabitants. Amidst this emotion, all I could think of was this:

What would happen if more and more people started to realize that we are all interconnected and a part of Mother Earth, breathing the same air, sharing the same water, feeling the same emotions? Will peace on earth become a reality in our lifetime? Absolutely YES!

SAYING “NO” WITH LOVE

Volume 7

A strict upbringing made me believe that if I said “yes”, I was being good. A “no” translated into being bad or disobedient. This belief coupled with low self-esteem made me a yes-girl throughout most of my adulthood. All of that changed when I started my spiritual practice some years back. I started to understand why I felt the need to give in to other people’s demands no matter how reluctant I felt. That was a huge revelation. I now find it easier to say “no”.

6 Ways Of Making It Easier To Say “No”

1. You Can’t Please Everyone
No one in this world can be liked, loved or completely accepted by everyone else. Neither do you have control of what others think of you. There will always be cynics, nay-sayers, wet blankets and what-nots waiting to voice their personal opinions. Face it… no matter what you say or do, you can never please everyone.

What matters is that you are in charge of what you think about yourself – how you feel within yourself. It is not about how others feel or react when you say “no”.

2. Love & Accept Yourself As You Are
According to the law of attraction, your thoughts and emotions are reflected through other people and by the situations you attract. When you love, honor and respect yourself, you attract more of these attitudes to yourself from other people. And eventually, you too will also treat others the same way, bringing more mutual love and respect into the world.

Do you feel energized and empowered after you say “no”? This goes back to self-love; saying “no” puts back the value into our own needs and preferences. It’s really up to us to love ourselves no matter what happens on the outside. Empowering means to always bring it all back to ourselves.

3. Sincere People Stay With You Even When You Say “No”
When someone gets upset with you or disagrees with you, the fear of losing their ‘approval’ may creep in. Face your fear with this affirmation – “I love and accept myself just the way I am.” Loving yourself unconditionally means fully accepting the way you are without judgment. Loving yourself fully for what you are and also, for what you are not.

If these people are meant to be a part of your life, they will support and respect your decision and continuously be there for you. Otherwise, they will leave and there is nothing wrong with that as they have already lived out their role they were meant to play in your life. All you need to do is to ensure you grow as a person and keep moving forward with an open heart and sincere intentions.

4. The Choice Is Yours
Always remember that you have a choice in any situation.

Let’s assume that I am invited to hang out at a particular bar by well-meaning friends. Just because I don’t have anything else on and just want to chill out at home, it does not mean I have to join them. As it happens, I do not choose to be at a place filled with cigarette smoke or loud music because such an environment affects my personal energy.

There is no need to explain myself to my friends. With enough self-respect, a simple “Thank you, but I don’t wish to do that” is good enough for me to decline the invitation politely.

Also, I am often told to work up a sweat to keep fit. But there are days when I prefer to stay home, be a couch potato and watch TV. I take full responsibility for my decisions even, if I may be unsure about them sometimes.

I am ready to face all the consequences of my choices. I find it is better to make a clear choice that I am responsible for than to do something I do not want to do. On most occasions, I find that I am glad that I stayed home to rest and recuperate from a hectic week.

5. Be Your Authentic Self
Being spiritual is about constantly facing life with your authentic self. It’s a fact that you cannot control what others think about you. You can only control what you choose to believe about yourself. So make choices in your best interests and your highest good.

Consider that always saying “yes” to others despite our own discomfort eventually makes us resentful and frustrated. We should stop playing the victim as that lowers our vibration. We starve ourselves to feed others, mentally and emotionally, and that is not being authentic and empowering.

6. Say “No” with Love
Always say “no” with a loving attitude. A way to do this is to place your attention on your heart as you say, “I would love to help you but I have already made plans. Thank you for understanding.” or “Let me think about it and I will get back to you tomorrow.” The second is a way to have more time to figure out if going along with the request is something you want to willingly do.

Also, start saying “yes” to yourself more often, that is, to the choices that make your heart sing with joy. With this affirmation of yourself, you will gradually find it easier to say “no” to others.

Persistence Is Key

I cannot say I have successfully said no on every occasion since then. However, today I am way better at it compared with my yes-girl days. I am still not as direct as I wish to be, although I am as honest as I can be in explaining my decisions. Surprisingly, people have been forgiving and they respect my explanations.

My refusals are out of love and respect for myself and are in no way meant to offend. I am fully aware of my own emotions as I say “no”, whether I feel, for example, empowered or guilty. I am looking forward to the day when I can say “no” with love consistently all the time.

I am not perfect, and like all human beings, I am here to learn and grow. The many demands from the people around me are perfect opportunities to realize that I am here to stretch beyond my present limits and grow. It reminds me of our true purpose – to be of service to humanity, in whatever situation we are in, with love.

6 WAYS TO LIVE A FULFILLING LIFE AFTER THE DIAGNOSIS

I thought it was a stomach bug because I had always been healthy prior to that, other than having an occasional cold every one to two years. I was shocked and in complete disbelief that both of my kidneys were no longer working!

No Spare Left

I was only 19 at the time. “How did this happen?” Other questions started to roam around in my mind after receiving this life-altering news: “What did this mean for my life? What would my life look like while pursuing my career to become a doctor? Would I still be able to pursue this career that I had always envisioned for myself? How would I pay for my medical bills?”

There I was, a sophomore in college who had recently migrated with my mother from Jamaica to the U.S. to start college. This move was in pursuit of my mission and vision to serve the health of others by becoming a physician. I knew I wanted to be a doctor from a very early age. My love of the sciences, my passion for dance, my curiosity about the amazing functioning of the body, and my strong roots in wanting to help others all influenced my desire to serve in the health and wellness field.

We are born with two kidneys yet only need one functioning kidney to survive. When both kidneys no longer work, like in my case, only two treatment options were available to replace their function: dialysis treatments for the rest of my life or a kidney transplant. My only option then was to do dialysis treatments because a kidney transplant was not readily available.

Everything Happens For A Reason

After the initial shock of my diagnosis, there was this inexplicable inner feeling of conviction and passion for continuing the path of my dream to become a doctor.

From childhood, I always knew I was on a spiritual journey with my mother, who served as my spiritual guide and teacher. So although this new diagnosis was drastic, it was easy for me to realize that this experience was happening in my life for a reason. It was for me to grow deeper into my spirituality and serve others more meaningfully and expansively.

The 6 Ways To Live A Fulfilling Life After The Diagnosis

Experiencing end-stage chronic kidney disease for almost 20 years, I have learned many lessons along the way as both patient and doctor, which I am sharing with you in this article.

Regardless of what the medical diagnosis may be, here’s how to continue living a fulfilling life:

1. Ask The Right Questions
When faced with a challenge, in this case, a medical diagnosis, it is important to ask yourself the right questions after the initial shock.

Instead of asking yourself, “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “What am I to learn from this experience?” and “How can I grow into a better version of myself after experiencing this diagnosis?”

Shifting how you view your medical condition and having a solution-oriented mindset are keys to living well.

2. Accept The Diagnosis
The second important lesson that I learned was to accept the diagnosis and understand the shifts that were taking place in my mind, body and spirit.

Along with that was the importance of evaluating how I managed my overall health by asking, “What is the current relationship that I am having with my health — in mind, body and spirit?” and “What is the relationship that I would like to have?” Asking yourself these questions will allow you to plan and act according to your health goals.

As a Family Medicine physician turned health and wellness coach, I have always practiced medicine from a holistic perspective. I am a big proponent of being aware of the connections made with the mind, body and spirit because those connections influence all aspects of life, including health, relationships, work and finances.

3. Treat Yourself Well
We live life disconnected when we are not intentional about making the holistic connections I previously spoke of. This brings me to my third essential point: making sure you live your life by intentionally practicing to treat yourself well.

This surpasses eating the “right” foods and exercising or moving your body in a healthy way. It also includes being mindful of what you are mentally, emotionally and spiritually consuming.

Are you surrounded by a negative environment that makes you feel angry, sad or anxious? Or do you have a strong support system that will uplift you, especially when things get tough?

Are you reading, listening and watching content that drains your energy, or are you consuming positive and inspiring things? These things are crucial to evaluate and will definitely affect your overall well-being.

4. Be Okay With Asking For Help
Another key point related to your support system is being okay with asking for and receiving help. I learned this lesson almost immediately after receiving the news about having end-stage chronic kidney disease.

As a teenager at the time and excited about my independence as a soon-to-be young adult, I realized that so many people cared about me and were ready to support me on the challenging journey I was to embark on. I had to learn very quickly that it was okay to ask for and receive help without feeling embarrassed, ashamed, unworthy, or that I was being a bother.

Building a community and feeling a sense of belonging is a part of human nature. Most people love to give, especially when there is a need. Think about your family, your friends or your work environment.

We need each other — learning, teaching, giving and receiving — in order to thrive in life. Animals, too, are the same. Most must work together to hunt for food and be safe. Once I became okay with asking for and giving help, the energy exchange of giving and receiving was so beautiful to witness and experience.

5. Harness The Power Of Giving
One of the things that my mother taught me about giving and receiving was that when you stop someone from giving, you stop their energy flow from receiving. So even if you may not like what they are giving you, you can accept it and then choose to do something with it, for example, give it away if you don’t find any use for it. This way, the energy flow of giving and receiving continues for both the giver and the receiver.

This lesson highlights my next point: the power of giving. Giving is crucial when you are in a place of need or hardship. My point above about continuing the energy exchange shows how important it is to keep the energy flow moving.

Similarly with giving, if you feel you are not receiving, that is the signal for you to give, whether it is time, advice, love, prayer, forgiveness, or a physical item.

In addition, when you give, you take the focus off of yourself and your problem, and your energy has now shifted to something more positive and meaningful. Do you agree that it is impossible for you to give something with the kindness of your heart and simultaneously be upset, angry or sad? Exactly, you can’t — not at the same time.

6. Be Grateful
This is also true about having an attitude of gratitude, which is my sixth major point.

There is no way that you can be grateful for something and at the same time feel down in the dumps, frustrated or hurt. No, there is just no way. I stress the tremendous value and reward of starting our day filled with gratitude to the clients I coach. This could be thinking about what to be thankful for, going for a gratitude walk, or writing thankful thoughts in a journal.

The Whole Of Mind, Body & Spirit

Becoming a patient before becoming a doctor has taught me so many things, allowing me to become a better doctor and a more spiritually aligned individual.

Now, as a holistic health and wellness coach, I can teach my clients these and many more core principles they can apply in their lives. These principles allow them to thrive within their bodies and become more wholesome in mind, body and spirit, even though they each have a medical condition.

A Happy & Purposeful Life

My journey of experiencing a chronic illness for over 20 years has been nothing short of magical! I see the magic because of how I look at life: growing, learning, and becoming more in tune with myself. I practice what I preach, and I lead by example. I am a living testimony that taking care of one’s mind, body and soul can evolve into a happy, meaningful and purposeful life despite a diagnosis.

“You Are Greater Than…”

If you leave with nothing else after reading this article, leave with this, “You Are Greater Than…”

Everything that you could ever need or desire already lies deep within you. You just have to find a way to let it out. Be still and silent to hear the answers to the questions, knowing that the answers will also arise from the same place, that is, from within the core of your being.

You can go from trial to transformation to triumph with any diagnosis or challenge you have in life. So begin to allow your beautiful light to shine even brighter by showing up in life so that you can truly GLOW Up!

DRESSING FOR YOUR SOUL

Volume 19

What You Wear Affects You

Do you take the time to choose what you wear every morning? Or perhaps, evenings, as you dress for dinner? Obviously, some of us take more care in our appearance than others. Is it because some of us love fashion or perhaps have the need to create or maintain a certain image?

Yet others dress according to their moods. Professor Karen Pine, author of Mind What You Wear, found that specific clothing can make people feel more confident in different situations. Common sense and experience would show you that what we wear affects the way others think of us. Many people are affected by how others see them.

Sometimes putting on different clothing makes you feel differently too. For example, something silky may make you feel relaxed or classy or sexy. Something with somber colors enhances the seriousness of a task or situation that you find yourself in.

Over the years many cultures have rules regarding dressing, in general or for specific occasions. One might think that this is done for image or honor but it is actually done to instill certain values or a particular mindset in the wearer. For example, military uniforms may evoke feelings of patriotism or reinforce a hierarchy of superiority and subordination.

Pine also found that the effect of dressing in certain clothing is so strong that when the women in one of her research groups were asked to do a math test in a swimsuit or wearing a sweater, the latter group performed better.

More often than not, people choose to dress a certain way to express how they feel, what they think, and what they choose to honor. So if the way we dress has a lot of influence on our psychology and spirit, doesn’t it make sense or feel better to be more selective of what we wear?

Clothing To Change Your Life

According to International Makeover Coach Selena Rodriguez in The Archaeology Of Style, clothing emits energy through its cut, colors, design, fabric and fit when a garment or accessory matches to one or more of a person’s essential inner qualities. Clothing cannot otherwise give to a person an attribute the wearer does not already carry. Perhaps this is why just simply wearing a particular color or shape may not help the wearer manifest or change the situation she or he wants to change.

By wearing a certain style but not feeling comfortable in it does not help manifest or improve a certain situation because, well, the style may not suit you at all in terms of personality or lifestyle. You are just not being authentic, not respecting your body or living according to what makes your soul happy.

A Colorful Learning Experience

I have a good friend who has a colorful sense of style that always makes her look perfect in what she wears. Although she mixes different textures and price tags but one constant is that she is always colorfully dressed. She is also one of the kindest and most positive people I know. She explained it best when she told me that she had had an abusive and controlling husband all her married life, and divorced, she feels free to express herself and be herself.

This friend is a teacher and counsellor by profession, but if you were to meet her, you would definitely notice that she does not dress at all like what you would expect of her profession. Yet she is successful, holds a good position at work and is leading a most blessed life despite widowed by her second husband.

Dressing Your Purpose

Since my life purpose involved becoming more of my authentic self, I decided that I would experiment with this to see which clothing I wore would make me feel more like myself.

If I were being true to myself, and my body, mind and soul were aligned that particular day to my purpose, intention and tasks, I should be able to create positive and aligned outcomes. And yes, more often than not, I’ve found that those days were indeed among my most positive ones.

Dressing Your True Essence

You can use your clothing to radiate qualities you need more of and minimize the ones you don’t need, or divert attention away from the qualities you don’t need. This article is not about teaching you how to dress or what colors you should wear but to remind you to be mindful of how what you wear affects you and others, and can actually change the outcomes of situations in your life!

For a start, it’s important to know who you are. Just because red denotes passion and you want to emphasize that, it does not mean that you have to focus heavily on red when you do not like the color. Think about other things that make you feel passionate.

When you are wearing what makes you shine, you will feel good and confident about yourself. People will respond favorably to you and compliment your style or act more positively when you are around.

Many of us live according to the expectations of others. So much so, we often forget our true essence and lose sense of who we are. About 8 years ago, someone I had just met told me, “You are nothing like you dress, you are actually a little crazy and fun to talk to”.

That really surprised me as I really did not give much thought to what I wore then. My opinion then of people who did care about what they wore was that they were either socialites or artistic people. And I thought of myself as neither – I was a lecturer and just felt that I had to dress conservatively.

Perhaps dressing up isn’t so much about impressing anybody, but about fulfilling your life purpose and influencing others for the better, leaving a unique impression on the world.

Have you met anyone whose sense of style makes you break out in a smile? What if your dressing could bring out the best in you or other people in every way? What if you dressed a certain way and could transform the way you feel about certain situations and people and thus create different outcomes for your life?

If clothes do maketh the woman and the man, let us clothe ourselves in ways that make us shine out the true essence of our soul, not mask it. And make our world a better and happier one if even for a day.

EMBRACING SELF-KINDNESS

The Healing Power of Self-Compassion

My journey toward self-kindness began in the shadows of self-criticism and relentless personal standards. For years, I lived under the weight of an internal narrative that dictated perfection as the only path to worthiness. This harsh treatment wasn’t confined within myself; it seeped into my interactions, inadvertently affecting those around me with a similar intensity of judgment and expectation.

However, a pivotal moment of realization came when I understood that the foundation of external kindness is deeply rooted in how we treat ourselves. By adopting a gentler approach toward myself, I learned that kindness is not merely an action but a state of being that begins from within. This was not an overnight transformation but a gradual awakening to the immense power of self-compassion.

As I ventured deeper into self-awareness, I discovered that many of us, especially women, are conditioned to prioritize the needs of others above our own. This often leaves us feeling depleted and disconnected from our own needs. I learned that being kind to ourselves isn’t an act of selfishness but a crucial element for a balanced and fulfilling life. It was through this lens of self-compassion that I began to see my self-care as a necessary practice, not a luxury. Each step of nurturing myself was a step towards healing not only my own spirit but also enhancing my capacity to contribute positively to those around me.

Steps to Cultivate Self-Kindness

As I navigated my path towards gentleness, I embraced several practices that became pillars of my daily life:

1. Transforming Inner Dialogue: Through the healing practice of Brainspotting, I shifted my inner narrative from criticism to compassion, reminding myself daily, “I am doing my best, and that is enough.”
2. Artistic Expression: When words felt too rigid, I turned to colors and art to express my emotions, letting each hue speak where words could not.
3. Affirmations of Worth: Each morning, I would affirm my worthiness, reminding myself: “I am worthy. I am enough. I deserve kindness.”
4. Essential Self-Care: Recognizing that self-care is not indulgence but a necessity, I scheduled regular ‘me-time’ to replenish my spirit, just as I would any crucial appointment.
5. Learning to Say No: Setting boundaries and learning to say no without guilt helped me respect my limits and prioritize my well-being.
6. Mindful Growth Through Additional Practices: Continuously engaging in mindfulness practices enriched my journey. Taking deep breaths, checking in with myself throughout the day, observing my thoughts without judgment, and spending time in nature allowed me to engage fully in the moment and deepen my connection to self-kindness.s.

Choosing Kindness with Every Breath

Choosing to be kind to oneself is a daily practice, a commitment to living from the heart. It’s about recognizing that each act of self-kindness not only heals us but also sends ripples of compassion out into the world. Every day, we have the choice to nurture our own hearts with kindness and spread that love further. By embracing self-kindness, we make the world a gentler, more loving place. Let’s choose kindness today, and every day, for ourselves and for the world around us.

LOVE IS LIFE, LIFE IS LOVE

Looking For Love

My parents often quarreled when I was a child. It happened so frequently that it made me question what love was all about. Don’t couples marry because they are in love? Why the constant quarrelling then? My young mind was baffled and I couldn’t understand why.

Growing up, I stopped asking that question.

Funnily, I ended up marrying early in life but it wasn’t done out of love. I can still recall the week before the wedding when I asked myself again, “Am I doing this because of love?” My best friend asked, “Do you love him?” I was stunned because I realized I couldn’t answer her question. I couldn’t comprehend what love was.

That’s when the childhood question surfaced again, “What is love? How do I know if this is love?”

Without an answer, I proceeded with the wedding, hoping to live happily ever after, only to find myself signing divorce papers some years later. It broke my heart and I remember feeling unloved, insecure and abandoned from that episode. However, deep down I knew that the fault did not lie entirely with my ex- husband.

What Is Love?

Whenever I see couples display affection and whisper sweet nothings to each other, I always wondered how it felt like. I was constantly figuring that out, hoping to get at least an inkling of what “love” is. What is it, really?

I had never felt love as a child or adult. If I had it, I never recognized it. My relationships were all about me feeling needed and wanted, and that I could be the source of happiness for my partner.

Love was still out of reach. Where, what, how?

Inner Love

I was like on an unending quest to find this thing called “love” that kept giving me the slip. I began to grow more aware of myself and started to broaden my horizons about love through reading and watching relationship videos, having deep conversations with others who have experienced loving relationships and practicing self- reflection to understand myself better.

Once, I attended a meditation where everyone cried as they felt the awe of Divine love. After the session, they eagerly took turns to share their experiences. But I didn’t feel anything at all, so what could I share? I felt so disappointed with myself and asked the facilitator, “How is it that everyone can feel love but me? How can I feel love?” Right there and then, he told me to close my eyes and proceeded to facilitate a short one-on-one meditation with me.

And for the very first time in my life, I experienced “love”.

It was a profound experience that was filled with the sense of liberation and freedom. It felt as though nothing else in the world mattered anymore as the feeling of love brought on the indescribable magnificence of an ultimate emotion and being.

I asked if this was what love felt like between couples, between parents and their children or between friends. He replied, “Love, regardless of who, should not have an agenda. Love is not to fill up our lack within. It should not come with any expectation or condition. Love just is.”

For a few days after that, I was obsessed with this feeling as I wanted to be with “love” and I would make every attempt to recall the feeling of that particular meditation session. As days went by, my hold on the feeling of “love” started to wane. Eventually I could not feel the love I had experienced during that meditation session anymore. I could not bring it back.

My search for love then changed to “How can I feel love without having to go into meditation?”

Love vs Lust

The relationships I had were all one-sided. In a way, I’m blessed as my partners would openly express their love for me. I, on the other hand, would always struggle to return those declarations of love. “Fake it till you make it”, so I thought, and I would then struggle to say the same 3 words to them and feel guilty after that.

So that had me thinking, well then what is the purpose of being in a relationship if it’s just to fulfill our physical needs? Is such a relationship enough? Is it sustainable?

In one relationship, right after we bonded intimately, my partner asked, “Did you feel it? The energy swirling between you and me in the form of an infinity symbol?” I was shocked and couldn’t manage a reply as I did not feel it at all.

He went on to describe how it was something that he had never experienced before as his entire body felt like it was being electrified in a beautiful and loving way. It was as though we were united as one and he could feel my entire energetic being merging with him.

He gave a phenomenal description of our union. Of course, I was elated but at the same time, frustrated that I couldn’t get to experience and feel what my then partner felt. And I thought, perhaps I had separated the act of “loving” from “love”.

That’s Love

Years later, I had a fascinating realization about the above experience when a girlfriend asked how one can have an intimate relationship with a person without loving that person. I gave many different answers from different perspectives but the questions kept coming.

Not convinced nor satisfied with my answers, she asked further, “Did you even like him then?” I thought for a bit and instantly responded, “Of course I did! That’s why we were dating. I liked the person that he is, the way he thinks, his personality and character.”

She continued “But that’s also love, isn’t it? Why do you need to categorize love?” I was caught off guard with her last question and it stuck in my head. That question had me ruminating on the definition of love and I took time to reflect deeper within.

All my life, I had been searching for love and wanting to understand what love was. In all my past relationships, love seemed to elude me. Why couldn’t I feel love?

As I looked and examined within, I began to realize that I had been categorizing “love” in a box of its own when in fact, love should not be put into any box at all. I had unwittingly pigeonholed love and therefore limiting it in my unconscious mind. It dawned upon me that love is in every little thing that I experience in my life every day.

Life Is Love

The Universe always arranges everything in the most appropriate timing for all, and that includes me. As if to confirm my new awareness and realization, I had another a-ha moment soon after – synchronicity was at work.

I was in another meditation session, this time facilitated by my mentor and in that session, suddenly everything became crystal clear. Not only is love in all the small experiences of our daily life, love also pops up in all directions and situations. I saw love in every aspect of my life including past events and situations, words uttered or refrained, actions taken or withheld – pleasant or otherwise.

That session added another layer of depth to my understanding of love and opened up further my consciousness to the realm of love.

In that new awareness, I felt the liberation that I hadn’t felt in a long while. I was overjoyed! My entire being was bursting at the seams with energy, brimming… with love.

Love Is Here And Now

In the days after, still in an exalted frenzy, I was inspired to write this article and title it Love Is Life, Life Is Love.

Love is Life: Everything we do is out of love. Every little thing, no matter which aspect of life, makes up our life journey. From my mom preparing my favorite Chinese dessert, or she asking if I’ve had my dinner when I come home from work, to my dad cooking a vegetarian meal specially for me. Me as a mother anxious over my children or me gently brushing my lover’s hair with my fingers. One of the simplest acts of love that I get to experience regularly is when a girlfriend texts me from time to time asking whether I’m well.

Life is Love: Life is never a straight line. We have ups and downs, successes and challenges, pains and joys, disappointments and celebrations. All of these are love. And when you see them for what they truly are, you will realize and understand how love can resolve anything and everything. Life itself is love. The wind on a hot day, a cup of coffee served, having enough money in our purse, enjoying a warm shower on a cold day, a smile to brighten someone’s day, the things we say to inspire others, the quarrels and fights, a divorce, the heartbreaks, the traffic when we are rushing to somewhere… they all teach us to see love in every situation of life.

These wonderful realizations and understanding of love have somehow opened the window of gratitude for me to appreciate every moment in my life, which before had posed a big challenge for me. Divine timing had made all this happen for me and for that, I am also in gratitude.

As I allow myself to be grateful and see the grace in all events, incidents and situations that have happened or are happening in my life, I am immediately filled and overcome with the immense feeling of love for the people around me.

These are the answers to the “love” that I had asked about since I was a child. In my heart now are feelings of joy, love and gratitude. I cannot thank my mentors enough for all these enriching experiences and for patiently guiding me to understand what love is — Sky Kho and Low Sheau Shy.

If you, like me, have been constantly asking, “What is love?” here’s a beautiful quote from Kryon to all of you seeking the meaning of love.

LOVE is quiet.
LOVE has no agenda.
LOVE does not puff itself up. LOVE has the wisdom to use the other three perfectly!
~ Kryon
(From Book 5: The Journey Home)

FORGIVING

Volume 4

Forgiveness is a word that is often taken for granted and it’s quite often used even when the giver or the asker does not mean it. Forgiveness kicks in when we feel that someone has wronged us (this is when we forgive) and when we have wronged someone (this is when we ask for forgiveness). There seems to be so many people and situations in life that we need to forgive and from whom we need forgiveness. The people and situations may be from the past or from what’s presently happening in our lives.

The Damage Done To The Inner Child

All of us have our fair share of perceived hurts and slights which shape us into the people we are. These hurts and slights are normally childhood traumas which then give birth to a host of other traumas; a classic example of the latter is the feeling of being rejected socially.

This rejection in social situations happens when a child, probably having felt “rejection” by an inattentive parent, grows up, attempts his first friendship and finds that the same feeling of rejection he felt as a child is felt again when the other person does not respond in the way he expects. He had in fact been looking at the situation through the eyes of that child who had been hurt long ago, and as a result is reliving the memory of a past hurt. He will continue to interpret every similar event as a rejection until he finds out, if he ever finds out, that it is he who is the cause of his own feelings of rejection and not the other person.

The Closed Heart & The Battle Within

The result from all the ego-centered busyness of being hurt about this and about that is a closed heart which will fiercely protect itself from all manner of threat real or imagined. Having a closed heart prevents us from experiencing life as how life should be experienced – in the raw without fear.

Not only does a closed heart protect itself, it may even go on the offensive by destroying loving relationships with others so that the wounded heart does not have to face the prospect of being rejected yet again.

A closed, defensive heart makes us mistakenly see a relationship with someone as another battle, as we fail to see that the battle is in fact a battle within ourselves.

The Memories Of Yesterday

The memories of past hurts and pains by other people or situations are a thick wall of fear that blocks our genuine interaction with the outside world. These old memories stop us from feeling ourselves and feeling others. They block our soul energy from nourishing us physically, emotionally and mentally, and cause us to miss opportunities for love and healing.

Painful memories shut us down from being who we really are inside: loving, compassionate beings who are not afraid to show love and tenderness, who see every human being as a beautiful person no matter who he or she is, who are not afraid to speak out or take action, who are not fearful about what others say about us. Aren’t these what we all want to be?

The Essence Of Forgiving

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes

For those on the spiritual path, we will have to confront our inner demons and face our fears, accept them and let them go if we are to make any meaningful progress towards our spiritual goals. This is what we call spiritual healing and a large part of this process involves the act of forgiving.

Forgiving clears away the bad memories which cloud our vision of ourselves and of the world. With clarity, we begin to see and experience ourselves and the world as we truly are: pure love. We free ourselves of the chains that lock us down from being the powerful beings that we are.

In this process, the first person whom you should forgive is yourself. Forgive yourself for the wrongs you’ve caused the people in your life and forgive yourself for all the wrong choices which you have made in life.

Then again, there are actually no “wrong” choices because what happens in life is exactly how they are meant to be for us to learn our soul lessons. But the energy of the regret that we carry has to go and forgiving is the way to do it.

Thus the essence of forgiving is forgiving ourselves. Through this, we rid ourselves of the energies of guilt and regret so that we can stop attracting negative experiences and start attracting new and positive ones into our lives.

Don’t Regret, Just Do Better Here And Now

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” Pema Chodron

Don’t get stuck in the trap of past regrets: simply commit yourself to do better now and today. For until you learn your lesson and do better, what you do not want never really goes away.

Forgive yourself by first accepting without judgment all the experiences in life, good or bad, that you have gone through. Forgive yourself by letting go of all the feelings of guilt that you carry within. And through the same process of accepting and letting go, forgive each and every person and situation whom you blame for hurting you.

You Can Forgive

“If you feel the need to forgive, forgive today.” Anonymous

You are not what you see yourself as – you are more beautiful and loving than the person you think you are. The world is not what you see it as – it is more beautiful and loving than how you are experiencing it.

To experience beauty and love, you need only to forgive.

Living Life Raw

“What makes you vulnerable also makes you beautiful.” Brene Brown

To live life in the raw is to live and experience life as it should be experienced – fully conscious and without fear. It requires us to be open and accepting of people, events and situations which make us feel threatened or insecure. It means allowing our vulnerability to show through without flinching. Living life raw requires a lot of courage.

Here are 3 things you can do to allow some vulnerability into your life, which will help open your heart to more love and compassion:-

1. Be authentic
   Behave in a genuine manner instead of putting on an act to impress others or to hide something you do not wish others to see. Authenticity frees us from the need for other people’s approval thus allowing us to fully experience ourselves.
2. Judge not & resist not
   Do not judge situations as good or bad. Things are not often what they seem. Judging something or someone as bad or wrong immediately creates negative feelings which bias our experience against the situation and prevents us from experiencing it as it is.In the same way, do not resist whatever happens. Resistance tenses the muscles and turns the experience to an unpleasant one. Respond appropriately to situations without the conditioned fear and tension that comes from resisting something. This allows us to experience the situations differently, perhaps from love or compassion.
3. Embrace negative emotions
   Embrace your negative emotions because they are a part of you. Just as a parent does not reject a child no matter what he or she does, do not reject your emotions. Instead, acknowledge and accept your negative emotions gracefully so that you experience them fully without recoiling in fear. Just remember it is never the other person’s action that hurts you but your emotional reaction to it that does. So deal with your emotions instead of blaming the other person for your hurt feelings.

BOOK REVIEW: WALKING WITH THE MASTER

Volume 17

How It All Started

To share so openly about very personal issues is no easy task and the writers of The Golden Space family do just this. To show your face while opening yourself to the rest of the world definitely takes courage, love and trust beyond what you may find while reading your typical run-of-the-mill motivation book. Evidence, perhaps, that the writers do walk their talk as taught by their Master.

Interspersed between these medleys of personal sharing, are inspiring quotes that remind the reader that one’s life is often not all that it seems to be. Without further exploration or illuminating reflection one would miss the opportunities to stretch one’s potential as a human being to great lengths.

In case you think that this book appeals to only certain readers, be assured we humans are not that different from one another. Somewhere between the first and last page, you will find a mirror of your life, a story that is similar to yours.

Questions that you have been asking yourself will appear within the pages. The answers that others have found will confirm you have a role to play in the bigger picture of Life. Yes, this book is for everyone.

Continuing to read, you can’t help but be filled with a sense of empowerment and love, one that will start changing the life you currently lead in small ways whether you initially realize it or not. The book will touch you in different ways, deep within your body, mind and soul.

You will also realize that there is something deeper than wisdom that drives the Master, who leads others to realize their calling as he answers the call of the Divine himself. This Master of Pure Light and Unconditional Love serves to make you not just a mere follower but a Master in your own right.

Furthermore the sense of family, togetherness and oneness that permeates the book may even melt hearts that have been frozen or shut away for a long while, as we humans tend to do when we encounter hurt.

Pick up this book if you want to make a change in your life; if you are ready to take the leap off your comfortable mountain of fears into a new and purposeful life. From page to page, this book will definitely make you feel that you want more… for yourself and for the rest of humanity.

BALANCING MOTHERHOOD SELF-CARE

How It All Started

We mothers have been culturally programmed to put our children’s needs or wants first, aircraft oxygen masks related stories, aside.

Recently, I attended an international women’s forum in Kuala Lumpur that focused on whether women can have families and careers simultaneously. Even in this day with many working mothers, women feel guilty when more time is poured into careers/ interests or as much to them as their home.

There’re most definitely times when our children’s needs come first. That’s when, e.g., they can’t fend for themselves and there’s no one specially tasked or employed to care for them. In emergency cases if you have a sick or terminally ill child, you may have to put your child’s needs “first”.

Still, you have to carve out some “Me” time. It’s essential to your well-being, as a person and as a mother.

The Balance Game

There’s a delicate balance that mothers must manage, between parenting their child and parenting themselves.

A good parent is one who nurtures, cares for her own self and puts her needs at par with her child’s. You are your child’s main role model. If you take care of yourself, your child will pick up this most important attitude from you.

A parent’s job is not to sacrifice for her child but to guide the child on how to take care of himself/ herself well enough. Self-love is indeed a beautiful gift to give a child. If you can teach children to love themselves, the other lessons will fall into place much faster.

I’m not asking you to not care about your child at all but to understand that we are all one.

Self-Love Is An Important Life Lesson

By caring for yourself you are caring for your child!

I quit my job for about 2 years, to care for my eldest child, 20 years ago, but by the time I had my youngest, I had so many things on my plate that I didn’t have as much time for her. By this time, however, I had learnt that my needs and wants are just as important as my children’s and so I didn’t sweat the small stuff anymore.

You don’t have to give in to their food requests or choice of activities all the time or attend every function if you need rest. Tell them when you need to bathe or have a meal. If they’re very young, have someone designated to attend to their important needs, while you finish whatever it is you need to do.

I stopped saying “no” to requests to meet friends because my daughter or son had a play date or an outing. Sometimes I tell my children that they had to cancel their appointments because I needed to do my thing even if it was just tea with my friends, shopping or a spa date.

She Turned Out Fine

My youngest turned out to be more independent and well adjusted, more so than her brother whom I had dedicated so much of my time and energy to when he was younger.

She has a wonderful and resilient attitude towards life. Plus, she’s helpful, positive and forgives more easily than her brother with his more rigid attitude. She also has better personal boundaries, as she is able to say “no” to expectations and requests. She’s able to wait patiently, most of the time, and doesn’t sulk if someone needs to do something and it supersedes her wants at that time.

I’m grateful for the opportunities to tell her that I have bought something that is especially mine for my birthday or a sibling’s and that she’ll have to wait for hers to get her own special thing. Or that just because she is the youngest she doesn’t always get her way or get to bully older siblings.

At the same time she understands that if she is hurt or has an emergency I love her enough to be there for her as soon as possible.

Give It A Try

Next time you have an urge to give up something you need or enjoy for your child’s sake ask yourself, “Will my child really suffer if I said ‘no’?”

Don’t have any expectations, for example you may feel guilty, the first time you do it. But parenting is a life lesson on its own. Especially if self-love or self-worth or even setting personal boundaries is particularly challenging for you.

The first time may seem difficult if you have been giving in for too long, but really…it does get better. Remember, happy Mums raise happier children!

Navigate Your Life with Goddess Guidance

Vanish The Goddess?

We may have more in common with the ancient gods and goddesses than you may think. Did you know that the Greek Goddess Hestia, of hearth and home, was not allowed to leave her house on Mount Olympus… ever. Across the globe, our lives have been challenged with worldwide lockdown restrictions, can you imagine being told you are to remain in lockdown forever!

The Goddess was birthed with the first stories of the world. Viewed as the original creator of all life, She was revered, worshipped and honored across all cultures of the earth. Going back millennia there is evidence that the female figure – in her various forms and roles as mother, virgin and warrior – existed and thrived in matriarchal societies.

What happened to make the Goddess and the sacred feminine slowly vanish from the history of the world, banished to the caverns and basements not only of our cultures but of our psyches? When did the patriarchal power-hungry, ego-obsessed society emerge?

Archetypal Energies

Looking at the goddess as an archetypal energy, we receive a much broader view of how the characteristics of each goddess can influence our well-being and daily lives. According to Jungian psychology archetypes are “a collectively-inherited unconscious idea that is universally present in individual psyches.”

Our fictional superheroes are a perfect example of the manifestation of this archetypal energy. We have Superman, Batman, Iron Man, X-Men and plenty more… men – why so few Wonder Women?

This is one of the reasons why and how the goddess energy existed and still does so today – she has a specific purpose. She personifies attributes relevant and necessary in our lives.

When we need courage, we can look to the Hindu Goddess Kali, when wisdom is called for the Greek Goddess Athena becomes our advisor. In this way we are allowing the divine wisdom of the sacred feminine to come to life again – and as a result we become our own superheroes!

Reclaiming The Goddess

One could spend a lifetime trying to uncover just how many goddesses existed at any given time, I do know it reaches into the thousands.

It is clear that the Goddess’s qualities and her role in society need reclaiming, recognition and re-integration into the psyche of humanity at large. It is critical we embody the divine feminine if we are to live healthy, balanced and productive lives.

Who doesn’t need prosperity, peace, health, wisdom and guidance? Who doesn’t need wise words of advice from a beloved grandmother or a mother’s loving touch; a superwoman of an aunt who is always there for us?

The goddess energy can help you harness any quality you need on any given day; they don’t just work 9 to 5 and every other weekend. Instead of resolutions, which usually only benefit ourselves and are just memories by mid-January, let us rather commit to the renewal, rebirth and optimistic resurgence of well-being in our lives on a daily basis.

Will you use the Goddess and Her gifts to worship and invoke or inspire and guide your life? Will you become bound like Hestia or soar with the Goddess of the Dawn through 2021? It is up to you.

I can’t wait to share with you, in the next edition, the electrifying warrior goddesses and how they can empower you with courage, confidence and clarity.

8 GODDESSES

With a brand-new year upon us, let us be inspired by these 8 goddesses of new beginnings, change, growth, life and creation.

Eos – Goddess of Dawn

Image by Evelyn de Morgan 1895

She is the ultimate Greek goddess of the dawn, new beginnings and hope. Eos is the bringer of light to the heavens and earth, the promise of hope for a new day filled with opportunities and possibilities.

She carries an energy of regeneration and will help restore energy levels and enthusiasm.

Call on her energy when you are going through big life changes, or when you are feeling stuck in the mud and need a little upliftment and hope.

Aurora – the Roman counterpart of Eos

Image by Jose de Madrazo y Agudo (1781-1859) – PD-art-100

She has become so well-known she even bears the honor of having a Disney princess named after her – Sleeping Beauty – who awakens after a deep long slumber.

Ostara/ Eostere – Goddess of Spring and Dawn

Image by Franz Xaver Winterholter

The word Easter derives its name from Ostara’s roots in Teutonic/Indo-European mythology.

She is a goddess of spring, beginnings and transformation. She will help you when you embark on new adventures and projects.

Mbaba Mwana Waresa – Goddess of Light and Fertility

Image by Liz Chesterman courtesy of Pernastudios/deviantart.com

Mbaba is revered by the Zulu people in Africa as a fertility goddess who also governs the rain, harvest, agriculture, beer and rainbows.

She can be called upon when needing to make important decisions and when wanting to increase good relations with friends, family and the community.

Awehai – Goddess of Growth and Fertility

Image by Marcine Quenzer

Awehai is the Native American Iroquois goddess who teaches about personal growth and reparation.

She is known as the “giver of life” and she assists to rebuild that which needs rebuilding – whether relationships, health or repairing toxic thought patterns.

Isis – Blessed Goddess of All

Image by Marcine Quenzer

One of Egypt’s most beloved and greatest goddesses is an expression of the sacred feminine in all its aspects.

Isis assists you in doing things with powerful intention and focus, she assists with healing at all levels, and is a protector of women and children.

Her gifts are many, and she helps us with letting go of the past and forging forward to create anew.

Pachamama – World Mother also known as Gaia and Mother Earth

Image by Josephine Wall

Revered by the people of the Andes in South/ Central America for her life support to our planet, she embodies the ultimate mother goddess in carrying and caring for humans and all creatures living on earth.

Her lessons can be seen as harsh when we upset the balance of nature. She cleanses the toxins from earth through earthquakes, natural disasters and pandemics.

When in harmony she offers sustainability, support, nurture, birth, creativity and enhanced life force.

Shakti – Goddess of Creation

Image by Damodar Salve courtesy of Exemplore

She is a Mahadevi – which is an embodiment of the sum of all the goddesses.

Shakti represents pure cosmic energy that is the essence and driving force of creation.

She has different forms which can manifest as the fierce warrior who can help you fight your inner demons, or the patient mother if you are looking to birth anything new into the world as well as childbirth.

FREEDOM OF SOUL

Our Just Desserts

We get what we deserve.

You’ve heard this phrase many times. It contains a serious truth because there is always cause and effect in this funny world.

So, what’s the cause?

The cause is you. Yes, you! You sow what you reap, you harvest the fruits of your labor, you eat what you farm, well, you get the idea…

Rule No. 1 + Rule No. 2

Arguably the Rule No. 1 of living a happy life is taking responsibility.

The Rule No. 2 is acceptance.

Add Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2 and you get “accepting responsibility”.

The Great Freedom

So instead of blaming your parents, your teacher, your politician (although how tempting it may be to do so), your foreigner neighbor and your pet goldfish, do accept responsibility for what’s happening in your life right now.

This is the Great Freedom, which basically is the freedom to be who you are instead of depending on other people and events to define you and your behavior.

When you allow yourself this freedom to be free from outside interference, you are taking responsibility to be the person you want to be instead of being run by the programs that were installed in your brain since you were born.

Those programs are the behaviors and beliefs that you copy from the significant people and events in your life, programs which could help or hurt you for the rest of your life.

These programs dictate who you should be and how you should behave in set circumstances, none of which allow you to express yourself in possibly healthier ways that you would if left to your own devices.

These programs, for better or worse, have made you a prisoner in your own your mind; without the freedom to express yourself authentically.

Not All Dangers Are Mortal Dangers – Really?

But you might ask, aren’t these programs meant to protect us from the dangers that’s out there in the world, and cope with all the challenges that one would face as a human being?

Yes and no. If the program teaches you to stay away from mortal danger (for example, the program that warns you against taking a selfie standing on one leg at the edge of a cliff), and teaches you good things like hygiene and how to take care of your body, then that’s fine.

“Bad” Programming!

But not programs that, for example, tell you that rich people are greedy (so you shouldn’t be rich if you don’t want to be labelled as greedy) or those that scare you into being afraid of noises in the dark or of people who are different from you: these are not fine – not by a long shot.

Because “bad” programs such as these:
– limit your self-belief, self-esteem and therefore your very empowerment to be the limitless being that you potentially can be,
– are written in the language of fear which stops you from expressing the love, peace and joy that you fundamentally are.

This is not to say that other people are bad people and the world is a bad world that’s conspiring to stop us from being the love, peace and joy that we are.

It is just that human consciousness has not yet come to a stage where we know ourselves as eternal souls and not just biological beings, so many, many people still have a very strong, even caveman-like, survival instinct that kicks in as defense when any threat is perceived.

Unfortunately, we tend to spread this limited consciousness, as mental memes. A meme is like a virus which finds a willing mind as host, infects the mind and replicates itself by influencing other willing minds. Hence ignorance spreads and conflicts, for example, continue to plague the world.

Live Free in Your Soul

Freedom is the breaking of the shackles of the bad programming that had limited us from fully expressing the love, peace, joy and all the fantastic qualities of being that we are.

Therefore, do not rely on the imprisoned mind so much, for it itself has not tasted freedom to know what truth is outside of its walls. Seek out the freedom that is outside of the mind, the freedom that is known by acknowledging the eternal soul that has been waiting all this time for us to awaken to its presence.

Live free and take responsibility – you’ll find that life is NOT a b – – – – – after all, but instead, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!

DEEPEN YOUR MEDITATION WITH 3 ESSENTIAL TOOLS

Meditation has become a transformative part of my life, helping me find inner peace, clarity, and self-awareness. Over time, I discovered three essential tools that have significantly enhanced my meditation experience: breathing techniques, observation, and connecting to my heart space. Let me share how these tools shaped my journey.

Breathing: A Gateway to Stillness

Breathing is fundamental in meditation. The right way of breathing can ease you into a meditative state more effortlessly. Long, deep breaths help you connect to your heart and relax your body compared to shallow breaths. When you breathe deeply, you bring more oxygen into your body, allowing your muscles and nerves to release tension and let go naturally.

Controlled breathing is key. For instance, breathing in gently without force and exhaling slowly signals your mind and body to relax. Over time, focusing on your breath can calm your “monkey mind,” enhance your ability to focus, and nurture a sense of inner peace.

Breathing through the nose and mouth can offer different experiences. For example, exhaling through the mouth can help release tension, providing a sense of liberation and relief. A big sigh while breathing out can amplify this feeling. When ready to connect deeply with yourself, shifting to nasal breathing helps focus your energy inward.

For enhanced concentration, focus on your nose or heart while breathing. This technique facilitates detachment from external distractions, paving the way for relaxation and inner peace.

Observation: The Art of Awareness

Observation in meditation involves using your senses to gather information about your inner and outer worlds without attachment or judgment. It is one of the most vital tools for enhancing your meditation experience.

During meditation, you observe your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations, as well as your reactions to the external world. This practice, done without engaging or clinging to any particular thought or sensation, can provide profound insights into yourself, situations, and life in general.

Many perceive meditation as simply sitting quietly and doing nothing. In reality, meditation is a highly effective method for turning inward. By observing your inner world, you uncover deep wisdom and realizations that can help you lead a better life.

Observation fosters self-awareness—a prerequisite for meaningful change. This heightened awareness brings clarity and helps you make better choices. Unlike analysis, observation is about gathering information from your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without overthinking. It allows you to see the bigger picture of any situation or aspect of life.

From personal experience, observation through the heart or sixth sense can be even more effective. It integrates intuition with past, present, and future insights, aiding in healing, clarity, and creativity. This form of observation helps you make confident, well-informed decisions aligned with your true self.

Observation through the heart also enables an unbiased perspective, helping you understand all sides of a situation. It often leads to profound realizations and experiences of healing, forgiveness, gratitude, and compassion.

Heart Space: A Sanctuary Within

Sitting quietly in a meditative state and connecting to your heart space offers a sense of joy, safety, love, and lightness. This sacred space allows you to:

• Be present with your intuition.
• Become mindful of your feelings, thoughts, and sensations.
• Recognize your reactions to people, environments, or situations.
• Understand yourself better and make conscious choices.

The heart space is also where you can detach from the external world and reconnect with your true self. It serves as a bridge to your soul and intuition, offering access to universal wisdom and guidance. Through this space, you can gain clarity, direction, and an abundance of love and flow in life.

In this state, you experience profound communication with the universe, leading to healing, self-discovery, and alignment with your higher purpose.

Meditation has been a life-changing journey for me. By focusing on my breathing, learning to observe without judgment, and connecting deeply to my heart space, I’ve unlocked tools that help me heal, grow, and create a better life. I hope sharing my experience inspires you to explore these tools in your own meditation practice and discover the transformation waiting within you.

LIVE THE JOURNEY, ENJOY THE RIDE

Nothing is ever perfect and our lives are all about doing the best in our capacity to make perfect and transcend the imperfections with grace, balance and gratitude. Most of the time we are constantly pressured to achieve this or that. It’s almost a daily chore and we keep getting drowned in the several “To Do Lists” or goals we create. What happens in real, is that we, with our staple habits of anxiety, rush into things and are intensely, in worrisome ways caught up in the achieving of our goals or the results of our efforts.

In the whole bargain we miss the bus. The bus that takes us through the tiny pathways of this wonderful process and journey towards the set destination. We have always heard that it is the journey that is important and not just the resultant end; yet we are unable to implement that into action.

Here are some simple ways for you to change your mind-set, and the road map towards your goals that shall help you in an all-rounded manner to victory your goals. Enjoy your own effortful voyage feeling full of peace and calm, whether you achieve a particular goal or not.

Surrender To Co-create A Goal

Once you create any goals, pay more attention and focus on your efforts rather than the anxiety of reaching the destination and achieving the goals. Daily intend detachment from the hyper thoughts or its results. Keep a small colourful book and appreciate yourself by creating a daily journal of baby steps that you achieve.

When you detach yourself from the results and keep working with patience, diligence, clarity, focus and confidence, you shall be able to do complete justice to each step and milestone and enjoy it too. You shall then be able to embrace and retain the priceless lessons hidden in that soulful trip, whether or not you’ve accomplished the goal.

And when you do attain your goals, which 99% you shall if you go this route, then you have a soul patting achievement along with the treasures of a valuable ride to it.

Surrendering is not complacency. Surrendering is doing your best with what IS and leaving the rest, while you live in gratitude for your own efforts irrespective of the ending or conclusive results.

An Angelic Prayer Of Detachment

Here is a loving Angelic prayer that can help you with detachment from results, while working your way through the triumphant ending, and enjoying the progression. You can say this prayer 7 times each in the morning and night for one or more cycles of 21 days depending on your own personal situations and their intensity.

Angel Prayer: “Dear Universe and Angels, I ask You to help me with focus, clarity, confidence, patience, and diligence at all times. I ask you to fill me with love and inspiration to fulfil all my goals. I ask you to assist me in detaching from all results and yet be motivated enough to succeed. I ask you to help me to enjoy and appreciate all efforts and learn the hidden lessons for my soul’s growth. I ask you to surface all the blessings in everything that I initiate. I thank you for helping me do my best and leave the rest to the universe for my highest best. Thank You and So Be It.”

You could also incorporate this Powerful Instant Energy Release and Uplifting Meditation (PIERUM) in your daily routine. It is like a power booster for a time when you have anxiety or feel low, fearful, depressed and worrisome, or feel energetically down or have any other lower emotions. You can do it even as a daily morning and night power soul drill.

Do this small exercise taking yourself away to a quiet corner during the day or do it at night before sleeping. Have a sound sleep or get back to your routine if you do this during the day as and when need be.

As you do this prayer and meditation regularly, stay in awareness of your energetic changes. You shall experience the seamless ways in which the Universe works to bring things together. You will realize a metamorphosis in your thinking, your approach and the overall output in your life for anything that you do.

We only need to daily remind ourselves that; when we are integrated, and focused on the journey rather than the anxiety of the procurements, then we can achieve beyond our expected dreams. So hold on to the seat belt and enjoy the ride, while you progress towards your desired terminus of triumph, happiness and success.

“It wasn’t and will never be all perfect. But daily, Divine grace bestows me the strength to make best efforts to perfect my imperfections and be proud of the efforts not the result.”

* PIERUM registered by Roshani Shenazz

Making Changes Is An Inside Job

A while back, I had a difficult situation with a student of mine. His parents are well educated and work in the education field. They will always ask me to put a little pressure on him during his exam and always give me very little time to prepare him for the exam. Instead, they would spend the time on family holidays, overseas.

I would feel helpless and always felt like giving up on teaching him. However, I knew that it was not his fault. And I had already communicated to the parents that learning to play the piano should not be rushed.

I always tell myself never to give up easily on any student or rather not to shy away from any challenges that I may face. If I give up, I would never have the chance to see the results of my efforts, especially when I have given my all in a task. But at the same time, I learnt not to expect any specific outcome but just to do the best that I can.

Don’t React, Reflect

And so I learnt not to react so quickly when faced with any challenges during my lessons with him. I admit it was not easy at all in the beginning, as I had resistance in my heart and a little voice kept telling me to give up.

Instead, I chose to do some self-reflection later during my meditation session, on the issues that came up. In doing so, I found inner peace and the answer on how to cope.

The important thing is not the problem. Therefore, don’t focus on the problem. Instead focus on the solution, on how to improve or get things done. Stop blaming others or victimizing yourself.

All the blame or resistance is from the Ego and it doesn’t help at all to keep dwelling on it. What we focus on, expands.

Accept & Let Go

Of course there were incidents when I lost my temper. I sat down and looked within, at my emotions. I learnt to accept things as they are and release all unwanted emotions. Know that we can’t change others or rather that it is not within our control to do so. Why don’t we change our feelings towards external situation or people instead?

After my self-reflection sessions when I had completed my inner work, I felt much more at peace within; I was able to move forward in my work with him. My focus on preparing him for his music exam was clearer and my teaching strategy was well planned.

I gradually became more patient when teaching him. And I did not feel any less passionate even when he did not play well. I just gave my best in every lesson.

From one incident to another, I increased my self-confidence and strived to improve my attitude and behavior towards other people and situations. When there were conflicts, I focused on changing myself.

We can master our own thoughts and emotions. It may take time for self-mastery, but we should never give up, just keep on going. We can choose to make changes within ourselves to gain inner peace.

Nature’s Role in Mental Resilience

The Noise of Misunderstanding

In today’s world, the discussion around mental health has become increasingly prominent, especially among younger audiences. However, with this increased focus, there’s also a growing concern: the misinterpretation of what mental health and well-being truly mean. Social media, with its overuse of terms like “human right,” “mental health,” and “well-being,” often muddies the waters, leading many of us down a path of confusion rather than clarity. It’s easy to get lost in the noise and lose sight of the essence of these concepts.

Chasing a False Ideal

The Oxford dictionary offers a tidy definition of well-being: “the state of being healthy, happy, or prosperous; physical, psychological, or moral welfare.” But how realistic is it to sustain this state at every moment? The pursuit of constant happiness and prosperity can feel overwhelming, and often, it seems unattainable. This pressure to always be “well” can lead to feelings of inadequacy when we inevitably fall short.

Two years ago, I found myself grappling with this very issue. My then-coach, now CEO, asked me, “Are you ready to walk the path of truth?” At that time, I was entrenched in depression, unsure of what “truth” he was referring to. Was it the secret to success in the ESG market? Or perhaps the uncomfortable reality of our limited control over climate change?

Today, I understand that the “path of truth” is about acceptance—of things as they are and, most importantly, of myself. This journey towards self-acceptance has been challenging, as it is often easier to recognize flaws and strengths in others than in oneself. Yet, this realization has been crucial in abandoning the habit of defining my well-being by external actions and expectations.

Embracing Equanimity and Unlearning

Instead of striving for an impossible state of perpetual well-being, I shifted my focus to building resilience and acceptance. Cultivating equanimity—a state of mental calmness and composure—has become my foundation. This practice, rooted in Vipassana meditation, has taught me to observe my thoughts without judgment, leading to a healthier mindset.

During a period of deep depression, I was consumed by fear and trapped in a cycle of rumination. Negative thoughts had become habitual, making life feel more complicated and overwhelming. The frustration of hurting those around me pushed me to seek change, but breaking free from this mental trap wasn’t easy.

Inspired by Dr. Qing Li’s “Shinrin-yoku” (Forest Bathing), I embarked on a silent retreat in a rainforest treehouse. Over three days, I immersed myself in nature, practicing techniques to calm my mind. The first two days brought an awareness of my pain, anxiety, and depression, but without the pleasure I had hoped for—only a sense of calm.

On the third day, however, something shifted. Meditating by a waterfall in complete silence, I felt a lightness that had eluded me for so long. The negativity lifted, and for the first time, I opened up to my parents about my struggles, breaking a long-held habit of bottling up my emotions.

Reconnecting with Our True Nature

This experience taught me the power of unlearning—shedding old habits and cultivating new, healthier ones. This process is vital for overcoming depression and other mental health challenges. In our chaotic, comparison-driven world, finding silence and space to look inward is essential. The root of many mental health issues lies in systems that create chaos and disconnect us from the natural world, leaving us feeling lost.

To break free from the cycle of mental illness, we must learn to reconnect with nature and, in doing so, reconnect with ourselves. Lasting resilience and well-being are achievable, but they require us to reforge our bond with the natural world and embrace the simple, yet profound, truths it offers.

A Journey to Emotional Wellness

Infotorial

In her early 30s, she was vibrant and full of life. She had just discovered her passion in her career, striving to improve daily while serving her customers with dedication.

Each morning, she woke up eager for the day ahead, feeling like everything was falling perfectly into place. She couldn’t wait to immerse herself in her work, creating new experiences and shining her brightest. Her days were busy, filled with client meetings and social gatherings during happy hours. She believed she was truly living life to the fullest.

Then, the world fell silent. Everyone was urged to stay home, and for the first time, she experienced an unsettling quiet. The silence outside amplified the noise inside her mind and heart, becoming overwhelming. She longed for the world to reopen, but it remained still for nearly three years.

During this time, she was forced to confront parts of herself she had ignored while being busy with the outside world. She slowly began to understand the concept of emotional wellness, which led her to explore spirituality.

She had never considered what it meant to live a positive, holistic lifestyle, let alone discuss wholistic wellness. However, over the past three years of confinement, her anxiety grew, and she realized she was no longer the same person. As the fighter she is, she knew she needed clarity and guidance in emotional wellness. It is time to build her emotional intelligence.

Does this story sound familiar? It might resonate with many of us, especially when the world was bustling. Now, everything seems to be back to normal, but is it really the same?

Emotional Intelligence and Wholistic Wellness

In our fast-paced world, the pursuit of wholistic wellness has become a cornerstone for those seeking a balanced, fulfilling life. Central to this journey is the concept of emotional intelligence (EI), a profound yet often overlooked aspect that interweaves seamlessly with wholistic wellness living. Emotional intelligence is not merely about managing emotions; it’s about understanding and harnessing them to enrich our lives and the lives of those around us. Let’s explore the symbiotic relationship between emotional intelligence and wholistic wellness and how this powerful duo can transform our well-being.

Emotional intelligence, a term popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman, refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions while also being able to empathize with the emotions of others. It encompasses five key components:

1. Self-awareness: Recognizing our own emotions and their impact on our thoughts and behavior.
2. Self-regulation: Managing our emotions healthily and constructively.
3. Motivation: Harnessing emotions to pursue goals with energy and persistence.
4. Empathy: Understanding the emotions of others and responding with compassion.
5. Social skills: Building and maintaining healthy relationships through effective communication and conflict resolution.

Emotional intelligence is the heartbeat of wholistic wellness living. By nurturing our ability to understand and manage emotions, we lay the foundation for a balanced and fulfilling life. As we integrate emotional intelligence into our wholistic wellness practices, we create a harmonious synergy that elevates our physical (body), mental (mind), emotional, and spiritual well-being (soul). Embrace this journey, and discover the transformative power of living with emotional intelligence at the core of your holistic wellness lifestyle.

Join the Journey: The International Wholistic Wellness Conference & Expo

Imagine immersing yourself in such an enriching experience at a 3-day wholistic wellness event. Here, practitioners, healers and speakers from around the globe converge to share their support and broaden your horizons. The prospect of such personal engagement in a community focused on spiritual and wholistic wellness is not only exciting but transformative, offering a unique opportunity to deepen your journey alongside like-minded souls.

INTERNATIONAL WHOLISTIC WELLNESS CONFERENCE & EXPO — A 3-DAY JOURNEY OF TRANSFORMATION!

From June 7th to 9th, 2024, AEI Wellness & QiMag, dedicated to spreading holistic and wholistic wellness, proudly announce the debut of the “International Wholistic Wellness Conference & Expo” (IWWCE). Nestled in the breathtaking landscape of Borneo, at the Sabah International Convention Centre (SICC) in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, this conference is set to be a landmark three-day event of profound transformation. It will feature an assembly of respected local and international holistic practice experts.

International Wholistic Wellness Expo & Conference

The inaugural IWWCE poised to transform Sabah into Asia’s premier destination for holistic wellness & health tourism. The event is set in the vibrant heart of Kota Kinabalu at the Sabah International Convention Center (SICC), Malaysia. With over 120 wellness exhibitors from around the globe, IWWCE offers an exclusive opportunity to dive deep into the world of holistic health, showcasing a wealth of insights and services. Beyond the exhibition, the event is rich with knowledge, featuring more than 30 conferences, seminars, activities & masterclasses over three transformative days.

Managing Diabetes: Understanding the Stress Connection

Diabetes, characterized by elevated blood sugar levels, manifests through various symptoms, such as facial puffiness, frequent urination, and unexpected weight loss. To diagnose this condition, physicians often recommend the HbA1c test, which measures glycosylated hemoglobin. An HbA1c level above six typically indicates impaired glucose control or diabetes, highlighting the body’s adverse reaction to food and underscoring the importance of monitoring blood sugar for managing diabetes effectively.

Now, what affects diabetes?

The exact cause of diabetes is unknown, but it is influenced by multiple factors such as unhealthy eating habits, inactivity, obesity, genetics, insufficient sleep, and poor lifestyle choices. Among these, stress is a significant contributor, as it can lead to conditions like insulin resistance, PCOD, obesity, and hormonal imbalances, all of which can impair glucose regulation and potentially lead to diabetes.

Diabetes is a complex condition with no singular cause, involving a variety of factors. Research indicates a significant connection between stress and diabetes, highlighting that disruptions in stress hormone regulation can impede proper blood sugar metabolism due to insufficient insulin. This establishes a deeply interwoven relationship between stress and blood glucose levels. Stress profoundly influences metabolic functions, affecting mental health through conditions like depression, anxiety, and chronic stress. Our brain’s response involves several areas:

1. The Amygdala governs our emotions,
2. The Putamen directs our actions and preparations,
3. The Anterior Cingulate and Prefrontal Cortex enhance our logical thinking and creativity, shaping our mental and physical responses to daily challenges.

Mental health and chronic stress significantly affect our eating behaviors, not just due to hormonal imbalances but also due to their intricate relationship with our dietary choices. Research and clinical observations reveal that individuals under chronic stress often gravitate towards high-calorie, comfort foods. This stress response is linked to reduced activity in the brain’s frontal cortex—the area responsible for problem-solving and rational thinking—which gets suppressed during stress, enhancing emotional responses driven by the amygdala and putamen. This disruption can prevent rational decision-making about food, which negatively impacts health and well-being.

To cope with emotional trauma, individuals often seek comfort in food as a means of feeling better. The amygdala processes emotions and, in response, releases chemicals that enhance cravings, providing a temporary sense of relief. Meanwhile, the putamen plays a role in action-taking based on these emotional responses. However, under lower stress levels, the brain can engage more logical thinking, enabling better decision-making regarding food choices.

Stress and Its Impact on Diabetes

Some stress is essential for human existence, acting as a catalyst for growth and improved performance. Spiritually, overcoming everyday challenges can lead to a state of “Samadhi,” signifying unity with a higher reality. While stress can contribute to various health issues, a manageable level motivates us to excel and engage effectively in daily activities, reflecting our nature as spiritual beings in a material world.

Stress activates our body’s response to critical situations. For example, if you’re threatened, the brain, through the amygdala, detects danger, prompting the hypothalamus to initiate a fight-or-flight response. This system, regulated by the autonomous nervous system, primes your body to either confront the threat or escape it, demonstrating stress’s crucial role in survival. This response is a fundamental biological process that enhances our ability to handle challenging situations effectively.

The process initiated by the autonomous nervous system is complex. This system, like a wiring network, transmits signals from the brain to various organs, such as the eyes, heart, and liver. It’s split into three parts:

• The Sympathetic Nervous System, activated during stress or danger, handles the fight-or-flight response.
• The Parasympathetic Nervous System, which counters the sympathetic system, manages rest and digestion.
• The Enteric Nervous System, primarily responsible for regulating digestion.

The sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems collectively establish our daily physiological equilibrium. When activated, the sympathetic nervous system signals the adrenal gland to release adrenaline, which heightens the senses and increases heart rate, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels to energize the body. This intense activity is balanced by the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body down, restoring energy and decreasing these heightened responses. This dynamic balance is crucial for managing stress and maintaining overall health.

The HPA axis, a vital network connecting the hypothalamus, pituitary gland, and adrenal gland, becomes active following adrenaline release. This axis maintains the sympathetic nervous system’s activation by releasing corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH) from the hypothalamus. CRH prompts the pituitary gland to secrete adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), which in turn stimulates cortisol production—the stress hormone—keeping the body in a high alert state until the parasympathetic nervous system intervenes to restore balance.

Chronic stress activates the body’s sympathetic nervous system, which in turn releases cortisol, a hormone that can lead to increased blood sugar levels. Elevated cortisol prompts the liver to produce more glucose through a process known as gluconeogenesis, continuing until stress diminishes. If not regulated, persistently high cortisol can cause chronic high blood sugar, contributing to fat storage and insulin resistance within cells. Consequently, the pancreas works harder to release insulin, but due to the resistance, cells cannot effectively use the glucose, maintaining high sugar levels in the bloodstream. This imbalance can lead to a range of health issues, including the potential for insulin resistance to become more widespread throughout the body.

Elevated cortisol levels can lead to an increase in visceral fat storage, potentially causing conditions like fatty liver. Cortisol also moves triglycerides into vital organ cells, which disrupts normal metabolic processes. Excess glucose in the bloodstream, if not utilized, can lead to lipogenesis and an imbalanced lipid profile. These issues extend beyond weight concerns; persistently high blood sugar levels can cause irreversible damage to the kidneys, increasing the risk of chronic kidney diseases or failure.

Managing Stress to Improve Diabetes

Chronic high blood sugar can damage the autonomic nervous system, negatively affecting nerves and blood pressure regulation. This can lead to serious kidney issues, including failure or end-stage renal disease. However, managing stress effectively can help mitigate these risks. Here are some strategies for managing stress and its effects on blood sugar:

1. Prioritizing sleep and rest
   Our world is saturated with information that can overstimulate the brain, reducing our average sleep time. Proper sleep not only helps regulate blood sugar levels but also strengthens our immune system and improves our daily functioning. Research indicates that rest and relaxation can aid in recovering from daily stress, highlighting the importance of making sleep a priority for overall health.
2. Engage in breathwork
   Incorporating breathwork into daily routines, such as deep breathing exercises, can realign the sympathetic nervous system and activate the parasympathetic system, promoting relaxation. Starting with simple focused breathing, one can gradually progress to more complex techniques like belly breathing and alternate nostril breathing to enhance overall well-being.
3. Meditation
   Practices like meditation and humming “Om” can center your focus inward and offer detachment from daily pressures. These techniques foster peace and assist in aligning with one’s spiritual self, contributing to a more positive mindset.
4. Be Active!
   Incorporating regular physical activity into your routine can trigger the release of endorphins, often known as ‘happy hormones.’ This can help mitigate stress and promote a positive outlook and higher productivity. Moreover, exercise can enhance immune system function and assist in managing blood sugar levels by influencing cortisol production.
5. Balanced Diet
   Eating a balanced diet rich in vitamins and engaging in regular exercise can aid in stress management and improve overall well-being. It’s beneficial to consult healthcare providers for personalized guidance on nutrition and gut health to address any deficiencies and maintain blood sugar levels effectively. Including probiotics in the diet is also recommended for better digestive health, which can impact stress levels and general health.
6. Nispand Bhaav
   Nispand Bhaav is a meditative practice fostering a detached awareness. Sitting comfortably, one listens to surrounding sounds neutrally, without judgment. It’s a process of observing without attachment, encouraging a mental state of tranquility, aiding in disengaging from daily life’s routines.
7. Practice gratitude and positive thinking
   Keeping a journal to note positive points helps manage daily stress. Be thankful for relationships and joys. Our brains often focus on sadness, but practicing gratitude helps remember positive experiences, reducing chronic stress.
8. Seek Help
   If stress has been bothering you, it’s best to consult an expert who can assist you. Do not hesitate to meet a psychologist, coach, or even speak to a friend who can help you navigate stressful situations. Sometimes sharing helps find answers to our problems.

Ultimately, a small amount of stress can drive growth and success, but chronic stress can lead to downfall. The choice is ours. Make informed decisions. Your health and well-being should be the top priority. A balanced lifestyle is key to better physical, emotional, and mental health. The human body has the ability to heal itself if given a chance.

The Catalyst for Growth

Infotorial

The ancient Chinese idiom, ‘近朱者赤近墨者黑’, imparts the profound wisdom that our surroundings and the company we keep significantly influence us. This principle resonates deeply within the journey of self-improvement, where it is often advised to surround ourselves with individuals who inspire growth and mutual elevation.

In today’s digital age, while information is readily accessible, it paradoxically fosters a sense of isolation. The convenience of learning from our own spaces, though appealing, frequently comes at the cost of genuine human connection. Now, picture a vibrant community that offers not just knowledge, but a dynamic exchange of insights aimed at fostering a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. Such a community doesn’t merely share knowledge—it builds a sturdy foundation for consistent growth and practice.

The Importance Of A Nurturing Environment

The journey of self-improvement, inherently personal and introspective, becomes profoundly richer when shared with others. A community presents diverse perspectives, challenging and expanding our understanding, nudging us out of comfort zones, and inspiring a deeper exploration of truth.

This ideal community serves as fertile ground not just for self-improvement but also for our spiritual growth, where our practices can take root and thrive. It blends wisdom, support, and shared experiences to not only enrich our growth but also provide steadiness through life’s inevitable ups and downs. In a society awash with information yet starving for depth, the nurturing environment of a spiritual community shines as a guiding light toward meaningful growth and enlightenment.

Now, imagine immersing yourself in such an enriching experience at a 3-day wholistic wellness event. Here, practitioners from around the globe converge to share their support and broaden your horizons. The prospect of such personal engagement in a community focused on spiritual and wholistic wellness is not only exciting but transformative, offering a unique opportunity to deepen your journey alongside like-minded souls.

“INTERNATIONAL WHOLISTIC WELLNESS CONFERENCE & EXPO” — A 3-DAY JOURNEY OF TRANSFORMATION!

From June 7th to 9th, 2024, AEI Wellness & QiMag, dedicated to spreading holistic and wholistic wellness, proudly announces the debut of the “International Wholistic Wellness Conference & Expo” (IWWCE). Nestled in the breathtaking landscape of Borneo, at the Sabah International Convention Centre (SICC) in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, this conference is set to be a landmark three-day event of profound transformation. It will feature an assembly of respected local and international holistic practice experts.

International Wholistic Wellness Expo & Conference

The inaugural IWWCE poised to transform Sabah into Asia’s premier destination for holistic wellness & health tourism. The event is set in the vibrant heart of Kota Kinabalu at the Sabah International Convention Center (SICC), Malaysia. With over 120 wellness exhibitors from around the globe, IWWCE offers an exclusive opportunity to dive deep into the world of holistic health, showcasing a wealth of insights and services. Beyond the exhibition, the event is rich with knowledge, featuring more than 30 conferences, seminars, activities & masterclasses over three transformative days.

New Habits, New You!

The Essence of Habits

My friends, I’ve unlocked the essence of truly transforming ourselves through new habits. It’s early 2024, yet the calendar isn’t our boundary for change. The real secret? It’s all about the BITS in HaBITS — those regular behaviors that shape our daily lives.

Positive routines enhance our well-being, but the challenge lies in altering the ‘bad’ habits that hold us back. Our daily rituals impact our mental and physical health. We often end our day fatigued, pledging for a fresh start tomorrow.

Our routine is a cycle: waking up, preparing for the day, and then facing a barrage of decisions — from food choices to exercise, to tackling endless to-dos. These patterns can weigh heavily on us, highlighting the importance of good habits to prevent life from unraveling.

Without positive habits as our foundation, life can quickly become overwhelming. We might resort to less healthy coping mechanisms, like overindulging in junk food, neglecting exercise, or leaning on substances for relaxation. These habits distance us from wholesome activities and simple joys of life, such as enjoying nutritious meals, engaging in fulfilling conversations, and experiencing true contentment.

Breaking Patterns, Making Milestones

For a truly fulfilling life, deeper self-reflection is crucial. Merely repeating the same actions and mindsets, which have lulled us into comfort, will not lead to the growth we desire. We must confront our stagnation. We can’t continue to live out our Peter Pan and Sleeping Beauty Syndromes, wondering why we’re unable to achieve the breakthroughs we desire in our lives.

To truly transform our lives, it’s essential to examine inwardly on what elements of our lifestyle serve us and which don’t. Profound self-inquiry can lead to the actionable steps necessary for change. According to karmic beliefs, we arrive in this world with pre-existing tendencies, shaped by our past experiences over numerous lifetimes, that can influence our present journey either positively or negatively. Recognizing and addressing these inherent habits is key to personal growth and progress.

Observing a child’s disposition, whether assertive or serene, prompts reflection on our lifelong patterns. Understanding our entrenched behaviors, especially those marked by discord, is essential. By examining and resolving these habits, we can liberate ourselves from constant frustration and emotional upheaval, paving the way for a future shaped by peace rather than conflict.

Intentional Change For A New You

To hold true to our essence while changing, we need revisit the small elements — the ‘bits’ — that shape us. This process is gradual, choice-driven, and shapes whether we emerge as renewed beings or simply shed unhelpful traits. Each moment is a step towards a new beginning.

Just as infants do not sprint before they can stand, overcoming habits is a step-by-step journey. It’s about incremental progress, replacing negative patterns with positive ones, like substituting chewing gum for smoking or starting with a walking group before racing. Small, consistent steps can lead to significant transformations.

Real change is rooted in intention, transcending mere willpower. By aligning our mindset to embrace possibilities, we can shape our world through practiced, deliberate actions.

Questions For Change

Here are some juicy questions that will kick start the process of long lasting change and creating new habits.

1. How do you want to be different by the end of this year?
2. In what ways do you want to deepen your experience of life this year?
3. Who do you want to be a year from now?

Consider this: life is fleeting, and every moment counts. Why wait for a new year when you can begin now? A small, consistent shift in your decisions can spark substantial change, often visible in mere weeks, not years. Transformation doesn’t hinge on calendar dates — it starts with a single choice, today.

Begin the journey of self-improvement step by step, and observe as the best version of yourself take shape. Echoing Bruce Lee’s wisdom, “I do not fear the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks. But I do fear the man who has practiced 1 kick 10,000 times.” Initiate a single, focused change today and witness your progress bloom.

Find Your Zen: Dive Into Holistic Wellness

Infotorial

In our rapidly evolving world, the journey towards health transcends the mere physical. We find ourselves in this unique era, navigating the aftermath of a global pandemic, yearning for a deeper understanding of our overall well-being. Society is pivoting towards a more mindful approach, earnestly seeking avenues to enrich our mental and spiritual health.

Reflect for a moment on your most recent chat with friends. Did the conversation naturally drift towards enhancing our well-being across the physical (body), mental (mind) and perhaps the spiritual or emotional (soul) directions? Was the theme of ‘stress’ a recurring guest in these discussion? This curiosity fuels our quest to comprehend what it means to live a life of holistic wellness.

Unlocking Fulfillment And Balance

A holistic wellness lifestyle champions a balanced way of living, where physical vitality, mental clarity, and emotional equilibrium are not viewed as isolated fragments but as interlocking pieces of a comprehensive whole. By adopting practices that nourish every facet of our existence, we open the gateway to a life marked by fulfillment, harmony, and optimal health — a lie that each of us rightfully deserves.

Embarking on a holistic wellness journey can usher in transformative benetis. The incorporation of complementary and holistic strategies, including meditation, yoga, natural nutrition, and preventative as well as restorative health measures, stands at the core of this integrated approach. Such a lifestyle not only alleviates stress but also cultivates enduring serenity and enhanced emotional resilience, inviting us to delve deeper into the essence of our lives.

“International Wholistic Wellness Conference & Expo”— 3 Days Transformational Experience!

From the 7th to the 9th June 2024, AEIWellness & QiMag, driven by its commitment to fostering awareness around holistic and wholistic wellness, is proud to present the inaugural “International Wholistic Wellness Conference & Expo” (IWWCE), set against the backdrop of the majestic Borneo, in Sabah International Convention Centre (SICC), Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. This event promises to be a pivotal three-day journey of transformation, featuring a gathering of esteemed local and international experts in holistic practices.

To enrich our exploration of the Power of Wholeness, the IWWCE introduces the Ten Wholistic Wellness Pillars, each designed to guide participants through the diverse landscapes of wellness.

Dive into the world of natural healing with Madam Cosima Scheuten, the visionary founder of Garden of Chi, as she offers insights into the Auric Field/Frequencies at the International Wholistic Wellness Conference & Expo (IWWCE). With over three decades of experience, this preview is a must-watch for those interested in holistic wellness.

What are you waiting for?

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to be part of this groundbreaking holistic wellness event. Secure your 3-day pass now and enjoy a 10% discount with the promo code.

Promo code: IWWCE10P

Get your pass right now! Link: https://iwwce.com/ref/2/

International Wholistic Wellness Expo & Conference

The inaugural IWWCE poised to transform Sabah into Asia’s premier destination for holistic wellness & health tourism. The event is set in the vibrant heart of Kota Kinabalu at the Sabah International Convention Center (SICC), Malaysia. With over 120 wellness exhibitors from around the globe, IWWCE offers an exclusive opportunity to dive deep into the world of holistic health, showcasing a wealth of insights and services. Beyond the exhibition, the event is rich with knowledge, featuring more than 30 conferences, seminars, activities & masterclasses over three transformative days.

Interview With International Metaphysical Master Umesh H. Nandwani

Vol. 1

Master Umesh Nandwani, who is from Singapore, is the founder of The Golden Space and principal of “Awaken ~ The Divine You”® Program. He is a Certified Master Trainer in Mind Power and Motivational Dynamics; Certified Master in Reiki Energy Healing; Certified Meditator and Counselor; Certified Stress Management Consultant, a Holistic Practitioner and Energy Therapist, operating a practice under his own company “ShivShakti Healing & Consultancy”.

He is an inspiring and motivational trainer. Participants of his programmes graduate to higher spiritual levels with increased self-realisation, enlightenment, becoming healthier, happier and more successful in life. He has been hard at work, inspiring thousands of people all over the world since 2003 through his open, friendly and powerful communicative style.

We met up with Master Umesh recently while he was in Kuala Lumpur to hold the “Awaken ~ The Divine You”® Program. Here he shares his thoughts on Metaphysics, Masterhood, his mission and his plans.

1. Can you tell us what Metaphysics is and how Metaphysics can transform lives?
‘Meta’ means beyond and ‘physics’ refers to the physical so Metaphysics is anything that is beyond the physical.

Everything starts with spirituality first, which is non-physical. Even our soul, has to enter the baby’s body first before we come into our mother’s womb.

The soul is spiritual, it manifests and then only the baby is born. In the same way everything in life is first energy before it transforms into the physical form that we have.

With that understanding we can use energy to transform, reform, or create anything that we want. And so now we can transform our lives too using energy.

2. Dr Deepak Chopra talks about ‘contemporary synthesis of science and soul’, but many people see science and spirituality as opposites of each other. What is your opinion on this?
Science and spirituality work hand in hand. Take ourselves, we have a physical body but we also have a spiritual body. Science deals with our physical body and spirituality deals with our spiritual body.

Your emotions are not controlled by science but your physical body is. Yet science is now discovering metaphysics. As I said, we have both and we need both. We are physical expressions of Spirit.

Mind, body and spirit have to come together. If not, we cannot express ourselves as human. But everything starts with the Spirit.

3. General perception equates spirituality with religion but your programs espouse a non-religious and universal perspective. Why is that?
It is totally different. The Spirit does not belong to any religion. The Spirit is a Light Being. The light does not say that it’s an Indian Light, a Muslim Light, a Chinese Light, a Christian Light, or whatever. The Light, like the one in a bulb, just shines. It has no religion. It is free to evolve and free to express. Can you control light? It will shine any way it wants. And Spirit is Light.

Religion is a teaching, correct? Light is an expression. So spirituality is an ‘expression of the Spirit’. There’s nothing to teach. It’s not about following a teaching, it’s about Spirit and just being.

4. Your “Awaken ~ The Divine You” program is about Ascension and about attaining Masterhood. What does being a Master entail?
For me there are different categories of Masterhood. It is not only one thing. Masterhood first starts with self-mastery. This means realising yourself as a Master. Understanding everything about yourself; the mental, emotional, biological, spiritual, physical aspects of yourself. Then there is another category of Masters who are actually teachers; of spiritual and physical realities. So these teachers have attained self-mastery themselves and are now teaching people on the road to realise self-mastery. I am working on these two categories. Anyone can be a Master.

5. Can one lead a normal family life as a Master? Is there sacrifice involved?
There is work to do to be a teacher to teach like me. I am hardly with my family. I am here to spread the love and light around the world through my teachings, so of course I have to sacrifice. But that does not mean that I don’t go home, or enjoy my physical reality. I still enjoy myself as a human being, and I also enjoy myself as a Spiritual Master, provided I know how to keep things balanced.

6. How do we know that we are pursuing the right path towards Self-Mastery?
Again it depends on the individual. How can you achieve self-mastery if you can’t be courageous? Things are sometimes hard. How can you teach other people if you haven’t even done it yourself? Then you would be a fake master, just reading books and talking. You have to walk the path, experience the pain, then you can explain to another person how to do it or give the other person a better way to do it. That’s how it is. Smile, just do it, that’s how you become a Master.

7. How do we tell the difference between genuine guidance and ego-guidance? Which one comes from the heart or the ego?
Your mind is sometimes over-protective. Your mind sometimes, stops you from achieving your goals. Sometimes your mind will tell you to do, sometimes it will tell you not to do.

But your heart will tell you what to do, if you follow your heart you will never go wrong because your heart is coming from your soul, your mind is coming from your ego. Follow your heart, not your ego. If you really want to do it, just do it. In the end, when you achieve that goal, you will get the best; wisdom. A Master is one who walks the path without any fear. You don’t have to listen to people. You listen to what YOU want to be and achieve in this life. That is a Master.

8. To put in a nutshell, what would you say is your mission?
My mission is simple; to help as many people as I can on this planet, raise the consciousness, raise the energy, raise the vibrations, bring people together so that we can have a beautiful life. For the future, for our kids and we will come back with a beautiful smile because you know what; if you are a Master you will smile!

I now have a student family from my programs around the world. I cannot achieve my mission until I help them achieve their mission. If I were to have my Master plan up and to achieve that plan, I would need Masters, right? I can only do so much as one person. So my aim is to get them to be Masters, to realise who they are. I don’t want them to be my followers or to pray to me. I want them to be together with me as one team. We make it together. At least don’t walk around blindly anymore! Be the special YOU whom you really are.

9. We heard that you have had a near-death experience, can you tell us something about that?
It was a beautiful experience. Three times at the seaside and once at the swimming pool. On all the occasions I nearly drowned but somehow one way or another, someone would save me and bring me back to life. The last time at the seaside, I remember, was at the Caribbean, Barbados. I know I swam very far. There was no way someone could save me. I gave up and went underwater.

One moment I was floundering and there was no one there, but somehow or other, someone was there. I know it was a God sent angel helping me, and I realised that my life purpose was to live again. It was not time for me to go. No doubt I wanted to go.

Another time I was hospitalised for six days. I went through depression, had diarrhoea, and was vomiting blood. I had an ulcer in my stomach. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t do anything. On the fourth day, suddenly I was out of my body. I saw the hall and my body lying there. I got a very big shock and started shouting and screaming.

The next thing I knew, boom! I went up somewhere. I saw an arch and a Divine Master was there. Some of whom I pray to, some of them, I don’t even know. They guided me and they showed me what they called ‘Home’.

I asked them questions and they showed me my life purpose. Who I am and what I am, why I had to go back to the planet and why my contract on this planet was not finished. I refused. I didn’t want to go back as I did not like the situation there. But for the contract and life purpose, I needed to go back. It was very hard for me to make it back down but I did.

Because I had to start everything from scratch again which was very tough. I knew that I was not ready for this but with hope and faith, they would guide me which they have done until today and I know they have been with me all this time and we have reached up to this level.

10. What are the things that inspire and empower you to keep moving forward in achieving and pursuing your life purpose and mission?

To see people transform, to see them getting clearer and better in their lives. I know every person I shift. I am helping them get better, I am also getting better in my life, because that person is a part of me.

11. What is your life motto?

No 1 – Always be authentic, there are a lot of fakes around calling themselves Masters

No 2 – Be positive

No 3 – Spread Love and Light

Most importantly, be your true divine self. That’s why ‘Awaken The Divine You’ has come, for me to awaken humanity to become who they are. The time has come for all of us to wake up.

12. One more question, a lot of people are suffering from unhappiness and unrest in their lives. What can they do to achieve love, peace and happiness in their lives?

It’s to discover who they really are. It’s the only way. There’s no other way to give you the once-and-for-all happiness. They are missing the biggest link, that is, they don’t even know who they are. They are walking with ego and just acting, but they are not being their authentic self. Once you get that, you will never say that you are not happy! Are you happy? I am.

13. What is your parting message for our readers?

Awaken the divine you. The time has come. Be positive, that’s it!

What if one afternoon could change how you see your life forever? Sit down with Master Umesh in Coffee with Master this 24 May 2025 and find out. Join the conversation.

IWD Special – I See You: Finding Self-Love Beyond Perfection

The Power of Recognition

I remember the first morning of 2023 vividly, as a dedicated fan of the “Avatar’ series, I found myself alone in the cinema, immersed in the world of “The Way of Water”. The Nav’vi’s greeting, “I see you”, struck a chord in me, especially when Jake said it to this son. It was more than a phrase; it was an affirmation of seeing and acknowledging someone truly and completely. It moved me deeply, and I broke down into tears immediately.

This simple, heartfelt phrase from the movie resonated with me, highlighting the importance of seeing and accepting oneself with the same equality and heart-centered love that the Na’vi did.

This encounter made me ponder on my own journey of self-growth and critique. As I reflected on this experience, a question lingered: Have I ever truly seen and honored myself without the harsh lens of self-criticism? Have I ever afforded myself the same recognition?

The Struggle for Self-Approval

While embracing body positivity and self-love, I’ve openly discussed my struggles with self-criticism in “Birthing The New Beautiful Me”. Life, with all its beauty, presents a journey where growth expands consciousness and perspectives.

I have established a tradition to embrace one new endeavor annually. This year, 2024, is dedicated to cultivating a healthier lifestyle, a phase of life where my body demands the attention previously devoted to my mind and soul.

However, as I progressed in my health journey, shedding weight and forming healthier eating habits, I found myself grappling with inner turmoil. Compliments on my changing appearance sparked an unexpected anger, revealing unresolved emotions simmering within.

I struggled to accept compliments, unable to see the efforts I had made and the new, healthier me others praised. This disbelief sparked a deeper fear, the thought that my progress was too unreal to trust.

Life’s every aspect began to overwhelm me. My journey to wellness ironically became a source of stress, the very thing known to counteract weight loss efforts. It was almost comical, being stressed about being stressed.

Eventually, the emotional weight was too heavy, and I found myself crying at work. Thankfully, I wasn’t alone. My colleagues, wise in the ways of holistic wellness, offered guidance. They encouraged me to delve into self-discovery, to illuminate the parts of me I had overlooked.

As I confronted the compliments I couldn’t accept, it dawned on me: was I truly seeing myself? Even though I had come to see my own beauty, yet conflicting feelings about my weight remained, highlighting the irony of my stance on body positivity. My efforts to improve were fueled by a sense of lack, rather than self-love. This revelation made me resistant to compliments, reinforcing a belief that I was still insufficient and continuously in need of fixing.

Embracing Imperfection

When I stopped trying to fix every perceived flaw, and accepted my struggle with body positivity, tranquility and peace ensued. Recognizing the need to accept what I had resisted opened a pathway to true release. I began to see myself anew, with a sense of honour inspired by the profound connections portrayed in “Avatar”.

I see me in the mirror,
Filled with flaws on my face,
Excessive skin on my body,
Extra fats that stored in body,
To make me feel safe.

I see me in the mirror,
Accepting that this is me,
Embracing all these that I told myself is not,

I see me in the mirror,
Falling in love with me,
Gazing deeper, with honour, respect, and
with joy.

I see me.
I see me, again.

*Feeling less than thrilled with your body? It’s time to swap self-criticism for self-love! Celebrate with us at the Loving My Body event this International Women’s Day – a day dedicated to kindness, love and embracing your true self with open arms! , be the first 15 and stay the entire day to receive a surprise gift worth RM490!
*T&C apply

The 4 Champion Factors! (Part 2)

(Part 2 of a 2-part article) To read Part 1, please click here.

August 2018 had me watching on TV, the Asian Games, which was held in Jakarta and Palembang in the Indonesian archipelago. My wife asked me, “Why do you follow these Games so closely when you hardly indulge in sports?” My simple answer to her was, “Well, I suppose it’s because I like watching how winners do it.” Watch and learn as the masters would say.

3. Training (& Practice)

Training to me basically involves all the things needed to prepare us to succeed. It is the accumulation of the knowledge and skills needed to succeed in one’s goal. Strategies would also be included, as the hard work of training must come with the smart work of planning.

Within the framework of training is practice. Practice involves repeating the action of which we want to be good at (presumably to achieve a desired outcome), getting feedback, refining the action or course-correcting and doing it again until we reach the point of “perfection” where it leads us the outcome or place we want to be.

Unfortunately for most people, practice is uncomfortable because people are hard-wired to feel lousy about being “not good enough”, “weak” or “a failure”; and practice inevitably forces us to confront our “weaknesses” (unpolished skills, laziness, impatience, indiscipline, negative emotions, etc.) and “failures” (when we practice, we are sure to “fail” during the practice; or else, why practice?).

What makes a champion different from the ordinary person is that the champion is not afraid to be weak and fail, because she knows that whatever weakness or failure she faces at present is only temporary; and she has the self-belief to know that with enough failures and feedback, she refines her actions and will inevitably reach her goal in the end. She knows she has no choice but to succeed when she is committed to learning and improving.

4. Competition

If you look it up, most definitions of competition still say that competition is a contest between different sides for one side to defeat, win or be superior over the others. For me, such definitions are rather limited as we have forgotten that the “competition” is mostly not “out there” but within ourselves.

The old energy of this planet carries the limiting belief that there is “not enough” to go around. An example of such “old age” thinking is found in classical economics which pre-supposes that humankind must compete amongst themselves for scarce resources. This is not the abundance mindset of the New Age.

There’s always competition in the world, but you don’t have to be enemies. You can empower each other. Justine Skye, American singer and model

For me, the point of competition is really not to defeat, win or show one’s superiority but to establish an external point of reference so that the person realizes where she is in comparison with others. This gives her a benchmark to strive harder and be better, and be number one if she so chooses.

For where would No. 1 be, without No. 2 or even no. 3 being in her life? Where would Dina Ashkey-Smith (2018 fastest woman in the world so far in the 100 meters sprint) without her rivals Shaunae Miller-Uibo and Marie-Josee Ta Lou?

I’m not in competition with anybody but myself. My goal is to beat my last performance ~ Celine Dion, singer and performer

Competition is really about winning over the present you, so that you can become a more powerful next-moment you. To have the inner strength and discipline to change whatever’s not working for you to become a winner. It is about constantly becoming a more superior you in every moment.

The mindset and heartset of continually improving greatly empowers not only you, but others who watch you as their reference point, to continually become bigger and better and not just ordinary like the rest. If everyone on Earth is to be so empowered with the constant desire to be better, just imagine where this would take humanity.

Be The Winner!

Look around you, and notice the 4 elements of talent, hard work, practice and competition constantly at work in the daily lives of true champions and winners.

Look within you, and check if you have the 4 elements. Just remember that:

• talent can be in any form, even if its washing dishes (you know what I mean)
• hard work simply requires discipline (and a good relationship with your body)
• practice until you make it; have the self-belief and perseverance to know that you will make it in the end with enough practice. Remember the story of how Thomas Edison did 10,000 experiments before he invented the alkaline storage battery? His retort to a friend who questioned his lack of results, “Results!  Why, man, I have gotten lots of results!  I know several thousand things that won’t work!” … and
• competition is necessary (your biggest competition is you)

The 4 Champion Factors! (Part 1)

(Part 1 of this 2-part article)

I don’t consider myself a great sports fan, but there are two sporting events which I have never missed watching – the Olympics and the FIFA football World Cup. These two are literally massive global events with countries coming together every 4 years to compete on the world stage against other countries for the prize and glory of being champion and showing who is the best.

The recent FIFA World Cup Football, which kept me awake in the wee hours of the morning watching the more important games, got me thinking as to how sport is such a usable model for anything that we want to achieve in life.

Great achievements in the sporting arena are great testimony of how talent, hard work, training and competition, have brought out the best in human potential.

In track endurance/ stamina for example, it was thought a great human achievement when Roger Bannister in 1954 ran the mile in less than 4 minutes (3:59.4) but today’s world record stands at 3:43.13 held by Hicham El Guerrouj.

As for speed/ power, the 100-meter sprint record was done in 10.6 seconds in 1912 by Donald Lippincott, while the current world record of 9.58 seconds (a full 1 second difference) is held by the very gifted Usain Bolt. How much faster can the human being run? One can only imagine.

 

1. Hard Work

Hard work opens doors and shows the world that you are serious about being one of those rare – and special – human beings who use the fullness of their talents to do their very best. Robin S. Sharma, motivational speaker

All successful people owe their success to hard work. Nothing is achieved without hard work. This is perhaps the most important part of achievement.

Hard work is the mid-wife of talent, for should we look around us, we will see that even if a person is talented, such talent cannot be harnessed without work.

Some people dream of success, others wake up and achieve it. Anonymous

And where I excel is ridiculous, sickening, work ethic. You know, while the other guy’s sleeping? I’m working. Will Smith, actor

Hard work builds discipline and the values of the work ethic. It makes our mind, emotions and bodies get used to listening to the “boss” (you) to wake up and take action and take that next step towards getting what is good and worthwhile. Hard work builds our mental, emotional and physical muscles to prepare us for the days when things don’t go our way.

2. Talent

We see obvious talents in many great sports people: Lionel Messi with his pair of magical feet in football (soccer), Yelena Isinbayeva the pole vaulter who has risen to heights of recognition no other woman pole vaulter has done before and Malaysia’s very own Nicol David, 8-time world squash champion.

But have we considered that all of us too have talents which we have not recognized and which we have not discovered? Would Nicol David have discovered her talent with the squash racket if not for her father who groomed her?

Would Lionel Messi have discovered his astonishing gift if not for the influence of his grandmother (yes, his grandmother!) who took him to training and matches when he was a boy?

Could you be a David or a Messi, if only someone had seen that hidden gift and nurtured you in the right environment and given the right encouragement?

Yes, each and every one of us has a talent or gift that we can use to make lives, including our own, better. It is for us to find out what that talent is so that we can live more fulfilling lives. And give ourselves the right environment and encouragement to harness that gift if no one is doing it for us.

To be continued…

The Magical Bridge Of Faith

Volume 8

A Magical Bridge

Once upon a time, a man stood at the edge of a very high cliff. This special cliff did not let you just turn around and go back, for there was no turning back. The man had two choices.

He could stay there for the rest of his life or move on beyond the cliff toward the mountain on the other side. The cliff symbolizes the crossroads of life where one is either stuck or takes a leap of faith to move forward despite not knowing what might happen.

Finally, he decided to do it. To simply take the leap of faith.

He stepped forward, trusting in his heart that life and the Universe were supporting him. As he stepped onto what he saw as just empty space, part of a bridge magically appeared under his foot! Feeling happy, he shouted with relief, “Hey, this is trust! This is faith! The Universe is with me!”

With each step forward, the magical bridge kept appearing under his feet. Everything seemed beautiful and good. Even when there were challenges, he kept reminding himself, “Don’t look back, just keep moving.”

Everything seemed perfectly bright and sunny. Suddenly, things changed. The sky darkened, and a storm rushed in. The man asked, “Hey, I’ve already made the choice to move, so why is the Universe putting me in this situation? I’ve done my part by trusting life. Where is the beautiful sky and why is it raining? Why can’t I see the bridge anymore?” It was difficult to see the small and narrow bridge up ahead. The man was worried as he really wanted to get to the mountain on the other side.

Despite his great fear and doubt, he didn’t give in. “Never mind. I will continue to trust…” He closed his eyes, followed his heart and kept walking forward. Miraculously, the bridge continued to form under his feet! He remained safe whilst moving forward on his journey, thus learning that trust was required on both sunny and stormy days. By just following his heart, he would eventually arrive victorious on top of his mountain.

Suddenly, the bridge became shaky. It felt as if it was about to collapse! “Since I trusted the Universe on sunny and rainy days, why should this happen now?” he worried. His only choice was to move ahead because it was too far to turn back.

Patiently, he took each step with his heart in the space of stillness and he landed safely on the bridge. His lesson was to continue with trust and faith, even when life was shaky.

Then, out of the blue on the next day, the bridge collapsed! The man tumbled all the way down into the ocean. Blaming the Universe, he asked, “Why? I did everything that I needed to. I trusted and held my faith. Why am I down here instead of up there on the bridge?”

And this is what happens to many people – they lose trust and doubt when things do not work out the way they had expected it to.

There was no other choice than to save himself. Pulling out from the ocean, he continued again on his journey up the mountain. But it was different this time. He progressed on to a higher height in his life. That became his ascension, moving to the next level of light, to finally arrive at the top of the mountain.

The story could continue endlessly. Because that’s what life is about – coming face to face with challenges and feeling fear, yet moving forward with trust and faith. And arriving at the top of one mountain, and the next mountain, and the next …

Lessons On Trust & Faith

Faith Is Unconditional Through Good & Bad

Trust and faith, like love, is unconditional. When you place conditions on your trust and faith, it can never be true trust and faith. Like the man in the story, you may not see the next step or that invisible bridge before you. Though you don’t know what will happen next, you still trust that there will always be something there for you.

During good times people say, “The Universe is with me because of the good things in my beautiful life.” On the other hand, they blame life and other people for bad situations because they can’t see the love in bad situations. 5 years later they may declare, “Without that bad situation, I wouldn’t be here today. I wouldn’t be who I am today. I am so proud to have gone through that experience.” The realization that it was a gift happens only after 5 years! In the meantime, they blame their brothers, sisters, parents, and the entire world.

See the goodness in each fall. Sometimes a person asks for A, and life gives him B because B serves him better. Instead he blames, and fails to trust. That’s when he doesn’t see. Life is like that.

Faith Is A Choice

When you make up your mind, you just walk with the Universe as if a guide is holding your hand. You cannot see it but you can feel love in every part of your life. That teaches you to have gratitude in your heart and appreciate life.

Faith is a matter of choice to trust the unseen, life, what one may call the Universe. To trust that life supports you. And that no matter what happens, life will show you a bigger picture as you move to a greater height of love.

Faith Means Following Your Heart

Your heart empowers you whereas your mind disempowers you. It’s that simple. Your heart empowers you to achieve your dream, to think bigger and to be fearless. Whereas your mind casts doubts and fears. It always analyzes and stops you from moving forward while your heart keeps you moving. Always follow your heart.

Faith Is Courage

Normally, people with big problems standing at the edge of the cliff, will doubt. They will sit there at the edge, waiting, not moving, as fear builds up and clouds their minds and hearts. Perhaps they may insist, “I have no choice. Life has put me in this situation, making me jobless, sick, depressed…” and continue to repeat that to themselves and others.

A second group may be encouragingly saying to themselves, “Let’s take a leap of faith!” They had taken the first leap, but the second time around, they look at the bridge, thinking, “What if one day I take another step on this invisible bridge and it’s the end of the path?”

Instead of moving on, they return to the edge of the cliff and behave like the first group. They say, “I have tried. I did my part in trusting, but I’m still depressed.” Nothing will happen after that, because they didn’t continue their journey. It’s as simple as that. They had trusted halfway, then stopped and turned back. They then blame life.

There is a third group. They will go all the way like the man in the story. They move forward, be it rain or shine, and even when everything seems lost. Picking themselves up, they courageously move on with trust in life, and faith in the Universe that they will arrive at a greater height in life.

Faith Is Taking The First Step To Action

For some people, following the heart is not an issue – it’s taking the first step to listen to the heart and really acting on it that is difficult. Yet, action is the key, and that is what many dare not do. Taking action reduces your fear because you stop feeding the fear, thereby making it easier to move. And most of the time, thereby making it easier to move. And most of the time, the fear doesn’t materialize, making one more courageous step to move even faster.

Taking the first step is important in matters of faith and to continue action without stopping. If you stop you will stay on the invisible bridge or make a U-turn. The journey of life is a continuous one. Life is like riding a bicycle. Keep moving to stay balanced. Once you stop pedaling, you will fall, so don’t even think of stopping.

Faith Is Trusting People

Can we have faith in people when people sometimes disappoint us?

I would say yes. Trusting life and people are the same, because without people there wouldn’t be life. Society is part of the system of life. When you trust life, you trust anything and everything that happens, that comes your way, and you know that everything is happening for your highest good. And that’s it.

Faith Is Faith Itself

The funny thing is people rather choose fear than faith. People ask me, “Why put my trust in faith when it is something I can’t see or prove?” But I ask them, “Can you see fear? Yet you place your trust in fear! And you don’t question that!”

People don’t question fear. They do not ask, “Why should I fear?” Instead it is always, “Why should I have faith?” They cannot “see” fear just like they cannot “see” faith but they choose to be fearful rather than to be faithful. That’s funny.

You tell people, “You should forgive, you should love.” But they will ask, “Why should I forgive?” Yet when they are angry, they don’t ask, “Why should I be angry?” People don’t ask “Why should I be angry?”, but they will ask, “Why should I love?”

How To Have Trust & Faith

There is no “how” to it, just do it! That’s the very meaning of faith. Take the leap of faith yourself or something will happen one day that is going to push you off the cliff… and that something is called life.

In short, your two choices are jumping off the cliff first and letting life unfold itself, or sitting at the edge of the cliff, paralyzed with fear.

People don’t trust. We stubbornly cling on to things that we are used to. And so we just stand at the edge of the cliff, not taking any action and not being able to move forward. That’s why sometimes the Universe will say, “Just let go.” That’s what we need to do. But people resist.

Faith is so abstract, and yet so amazingly beautiful when experienced with a realized mind.

Embracing Self-Love in the Face of Addiction

In a society where addiction silently weaves into the fabric of everyday life, my brother’s story is a stark echo.

The Invisible Chain of Habits

As a child, he was my hero, an acclaimed cyclist with two German championships under his belt. His later years in Munich, though less connected to our family, seemed successful on the surface, marked by love and stability, even owning a home. Yet, beneath this veneer, a relentless addiction to alcohol quietly eroded the foundations of his life.

His relationships, while heartfelt, cycled through hope and despair. Each partner sought to anchor him, to be the beacon guiding him away from the storm of his addiction. They built a family, welcoming a child with love— a love that briefly steadied him. But the relentless tide of dependency returned, sweeping away his partnership, his fatherhood, and his place in the world.

As his life began to crumble, the condominium was lost, and so were the ties that bound him to a stable existence. He drifted between the streets and rehabilitation, a specter in the family’s life, present only in sparse messages, leaving us grasping for whispers of his well-being.

The Subtle Descent into Dependency

I often pondered why his path led to addiction, while mine did not. After taking him in during one of his lows, he recovered quickly, and we cherished our time together until he vanished once more. The hidden bottles revealed the silent burden of his departure. He never intended to trouble anyone with his addiction; he would quietly withdraw, avoiding the impact of his struggles on those around him.

It started with a harmless beer after work, which turned into a habit, a balm for his unaddressed issues and desires. This routine deepened into an addiction, a loss of control he didn’t seem to resist, for he, like every addict, had his reasons.

It was later I learned that addiction stems from a search — a search that, in one way or another, we’re all undertaking…

The Power of Inner Fulfillment

During a retreat, I grasped that happiness isn’t about external searches—it’s recognizing the abundance within. Perspective is reality; see your life as half-full, and you embrace joy. We all possess happiness, attention, and love internally; realizing this shapes a resilient life.

My brother, once robust with triumphs, also faced his shadows. Recognizing the negatives is essential, as is finding love within to shield against life’s pressures. Yet, we must stay conscious of our current desires and their roots.

Seeking happiness through others, valuing oneself by wealth, or mistaking attention for love, can lead to dependency. Unseen addictions, even to money, hint at deeper voids often filled with vices. Addictions often intertwine, leaving the inner void unfulfilled.

Therefore, find love within, and it will reveal itself to you. Once discovered, you can fully love and accept yourself. True self-love allows you to offer love to others unconditionally. Harmonized with your essence, you can give genuinely, for all you need resides within you.

A Path to Love, Gratitude, and Self-Discovery

Revisiting our initial query: Are we all addicts in some way? Modern economies capitalize on those seeking external joy. Products promising attention, exclusivity, or satisfaction feed this quest. Yet, the joy they offer is fleeting, always leaving us wanting more.

Happiness shouldn’t hinge on material possessions to avoid dependency. When it does, we miss the true wealth of life’s experiences, consumed by envy and dissatisfaction, causing suffering in various forms.

Social media confuses attention with love. ‘Likes’ and comments are fleeting, not equating to love. True love offers something deeper than perpetual attention.

The answer to our deepest yearnings lies within reach, yet it can feel distant. Social media’s fleeting ‘likes’ and the temporary joy from material possessions highlight a deeper longing for something more fulfilling. To find this fulfillment and embark on a path of love and gratitude, consider these steps:

1. Meditate and Practice Forgiveness: Regular meditation helps clear the noise of daily life, allowing us to forgive past grievances, fostering a deeper sense of inner peace and self-love.
2. Connection with Your Higher Self and Your Heart: By attuning to our higher selves, we tap into an innate wisdom and love at the core of our being, guiding us towards authentic happiness.
3. Breathe in Universal Love: Take moments to breathe deeply, visualizing the love of the universe entering your heart with each breath. This practice can fill you with a sense of connection and wholeness.

Embrace these practices and you may discover that the true wealth of life’s experiences lies in the love and gratitude we cultivate within ourselves. As I continue to appreciate life’s splendors and share love and zest, I hope you too will find your own path to a fulfilling and gratified life.

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude

“It’s your attitude and not your aptitude that determines your altitude.” This quote by Zig Ziglar has been playing prominently in my thoughts these past few weeks.

Funnily enough, a participant at a recent training session proved how important attitude is.

More Knowledge, More Possibilities

She knew some of the stuff I was covering, but not all of it. Assuming that what she already had was enough to get by in the world, her attention meandered.

She started to distract those around her by fiddling with her hand phone and insisting on talking to those nearest to her.

What a vast difference from other candidates who had similar knowledge as she did.

The others usually listened carefully. By doing so, they added more depth to their knowledge. “This will help me explain some things to my team,” they explained. There was awareness of how they could utilize the knowledge. A couple understood that the information would be handy when they held supervisory roles.

What You Cannot See

In a couple of training sessions for fresh graduates, I organized short debates. Initially, some were reluctant to take part in them. “That’s something we no longer have to do. After all we’re now working adults.” Though they didn’t verbalize it, their body language said it all.

They changed their stand when I explained that in some instances, people seeking promotions are put through debate-like discussions. And no, this is not something I made up. It’s what I was told by a senior officer. They are also elements of debating that comes in useful in various areas of life.

What if I hadn’t explained it to them? They would have lost out.

Watching them, I realized that attitude matters in all that we do. Even we can’t see the benefits, we should just give it our all.

It’s A Habit

How do you change your attitude? At the top of my list is to watch each and every one of our moves. By this I mean:

Observe Your Thoughts
For instance, does your mind tell you that details are not important? That it’s okay to put off doing something tough for another day? If yes, then you may want to get tough with yourself first!

Watch Your Emotions
It could be very nuanced. E.g. that niggling feeling of impatience when you have to listen to familiar information. Or perhaps you feel you’re an expert on the subject discussed. So you get irritated when someone tries to help you on it.

Note Your Actions
Ahh… this is, of course, refers to groggily turning off alarms in the mornings. Always saying no to challenging projects for fear of failure is another.

I’ve realized I often I start things with great enthusiasm. Over time I lose interest. And bid them sayonara for eternity. Which is why I’m now trying to finish all those half-read books. Time to keep the fire burning bright constantly!

Check Your Energy Barometer
Some only put in a bit of energy into everything they do. Resulting in half-baked results. You would have observed this yourself. The more heart and energy you put in, the more successful the outcome.

Look At Everything Afresh

I’ve got to admit that I’m not the most patient person around.

Like the participant I spoke of earlier, I used to get extremely impatient when forced to listen to something I already know until I observed some senior practitioners.

They were familiar with basic facts and know-how for their respective areas. Yet, they continued to attend basic courses. The mystery of why they did so was cleared up one day.

At each session, they studied nuances of the subject. They explored new areas, delving deep into seemingly easy topics. Dig, dig, and dig deeper.

Their depth of knowledge now is quite amazing. And all from patiently and silently re-examining old knowledge from new angles.

Attitude can make or break us. I may not be able to change my attitude 180 degrees overnight. What I can do and am doing is to take small steps for change in various areas of life.

We Don’t Talk Anymore

I was having lunch alone one day and browsing through my mobile phone. As I was still waiting for my food, I looked around at the decor and people and noticed a couple in their early 50s. What caught my attention was that the couple were not talking to each other.

The female was chewing her food and looking around the café as if searching for something while her partner was eating and looking at his plate. It was indeed a sad scene. It made me wonder what went wrong? I am sure when they were younger, they must have had a lot of things to talk about.

What Is The Real Issue?

Looking at younger couples in the café, they seemed to be having a lot of things to talk about. Seeing them exchanging gestures, laughing and etc. Some were even talking at the same time. Looked like fun.

Coming back to the couple, I was trying to feel what the female must be feeling. Eating with someone and not talking to each other. She was alternating between looking out of the window and looking at decor then back to her plate. Didn’t they have anything to talk about? Where did it go wrong? Were they angry? Was it frustration or was it boredom?

The male acted like he was all by himself. Playing with his food, tossing his fork against his plate. Could he be thinking about leaving the place? Or how long more they were going to take to finish the food? Or could either one of them be thinking about what they were going to do after they left?

Why did this happen? I was certain they were not like that when they first met. I bet they had plenty to share between them. They must have had a lot of things to talk about. Shared jokes or stories, perhaps.

Closing Our Hearts To Hurts

Then I remembered, I used to be in the same situation too.

I remembered I went through that situation too, many years ago. As a result of that experience, I felt hurt and taken for granted. I felt bitter about the whole relationship. Sometimes, women give in too much. When we love our partners whole heartedly, we tend to give them our everything.

When I was hurt, I shut down my feelings. I stopped talking and I felt unimportant and had difficulty communicating with my partner. Even to share stories, events or jokes. Why? Because I felt I was not important to him.

I didn’t feel like sharing myself with someone who didn’t appreciate me. This is a very negative thought because if we focused on these kinds of thoughts then one day they become toxic. That’s how strong the power of heart is.

When our hearts are beating together, we feel so much love and want to share everything. But once betrayed, hurt or even taken for granted, we slowly close our heart. The heart has the biggest electromagnetic field in our body. It so strange when this happened, I could totally ignore or pretend not to hear what he said.

Conquer Your Fear

But of course there are people who still tolerate whatever their partners do. This might be because they are fearful. Fearful of being abandoned. Fearful of not being supported financially. Fearful of their children being taken away from them and there are so many more other reasons. I had fears too. I was afraid not being supported financially as I was not employed.

I can’t imagine what would happened to me if I had not found my way back. I was introduced by my girlfriend, to The Golden Space, a transformative and healing centre. After going through some healings, private sessions and workshops, I finally came out of that fear-based mode. I was able to slowly open my heart again.

I was made to understand that things happened to make me stronger emotionally and physically. To be honest, my heart has not completely opened but it is in the process of doing so. Now I am able to sit with my partner and we can have a good conversation when we are dining especially when it’s just the two of us. Now that our children are grown up and have their own things, we are left on our own most of the time.

It is important to have that understanding of each other. My partner and I now are at a different level of our relationship. We are companions to each other.

Life is too short for us to keep holding on to the grudges and be sad. We end up hurting our body eventually. Learn to accept things that have happened in our lives and slowly try to forgive all the wrong doings to you and others. I know it is easier said then done. But if you put in the intention to do so. Things will be easier. Your readiness and willingness are very important.

I believe if we have peace in our heart, nothing really matters. We can live in harmony and togetherness with anyone.

My sincere advice to couples who have stopped talking to each other, especially with heart issues, to make peace. Please identify what the issue is and work on it. Better to live in harmony rather than dragging yourself through each day of your life. I did it and I am happy. The most important thing for me, is to be at peace with myself. All is well.

6 Ways To Release Grudges:

1. Always look at the good side of this person
2. When you are hurt or angry, cry out to release the emotion but don’t criticize yourself
3. Don’t analyze why the person is hurting you but instead accept that this emotion is part of your test to make you wiser and resilient
4. Always believe that this thing happened comes with good purpose/reason
5. Always believe if this test didn’t come, you will live your life complacently with no purpose
6. Avoid hating the person, because negative emotions create sickness to your body.

5 Ways To Learn Acceptance:

1. To accept the situation positively, will create feelings of peace
2. Learn to meditate or engage in positive creative visualization to prevent the mind from wandering
3. Trusting and loving yourself more, will eventually create peace within
4. This person who triggered you is teaching you to be aware/understand your emotions
5. Loving yourself will also increase the understanding of acceptance

To Smile A Brighter Day

Ever since I started my spiritual journey, I have begun to smile more. And smiling has since become a natural tendency for me. Radiating positivity through a smile on my face!

The Infectious Power of A Smile

Once I was at a restaurant with my son, and there was only one waitress, who was a mute. It was lunch hour and the restaurant was understaffed. Having had to serve quite a few tables, she was obviously “stressed out”. As she finished putting food on our table, I turned to her and smiled.

Her face lit up immediately! As I continued with my “Thank You” she was already grinning from ear to ear. When I saw her next, she was walking with a spring on her steps! A simple smile and a thank you can certainly do wonders.

A Smile Can Melt Hearts

A few months back, I needed a license for an event. Due to other more urgent and pressing matters, I only managed to return to the government office one week later than the stipulated timeframe.

The officer-in-charge was not too happy that I took longer than was required and she raised her voice at me in front of all other applicants. I looked at her and put on my golden smile as she rambled on her displeasure.

My genuine smile must have touched her heart as she mellowed down almost immediately. In the end, she talked to me in such a gentle manner that it was a complete opposite of her initial tone.

Another incident where a smile made all the difference was when I was at a Security Office waiting for my pass to prepare for an event set-up. I was about two hours earlier from the allowed set-up time so the officer was not keen to hand me the pass.
Again, I flashed my golden smile and made my plea. After a few rounds of “Yes ah?”, “Really?”, “Ohhh I see…” , all responses were packaged with a smile, I got my pass.

Negative and Positive Responses

However, in my “smiling experience”, I found out that not everyone is receptive to a smile. Some do not know how to react. Some do not know where to look. Some do not even acknowledge. And some look at me as if I’m crazy!! Luckily, my share of positive responses are way more than negative ones!

I’ve also come to realise that when I smile, it automatically opens up my heart and I drop judgement easily. As I open myself up, I also open up to all possibilities to reach me and I attract more positive outcomes into my life.

It does not cost us anything to smile. So, start smiling from the heart now and begin to attract positivity into your lives immediately!

WAKING UP TO INNER PEACE

Volume 16

Seizing The Day

To remain sane and balanced in today’s hectic and fast-paced world, we need to learn to embrace life and its many challenges. Incorporating a simple daily mindfulness practice will help us be in the present moment, feel more calm and peaceful, to handle every situation and every person that we come into contact with.

During our TTDI Park Sunday sessions – we call them “Wake UP” sessions because we want people to wake up early (obviously!) and seize the day – we get wonderful feedback from participants. Through these sessions, participants become aware of where they are in life, where they want to go, and their true desires. They also get to identify their blockages and action plans to manifest their goals.

After completing mindfulness exercises and meditating in nature, the participants would find that they have better focus, tend to be more creative and have smoother relationships with others.

They get clearer on issues whether at work, with their health or with their families. Mind you, some of these are serious issues that have been plaguing them along time.

A lady who had trouble getting a good night’s sleep claims that after the previous week’s mindfulness meditation, she managed to sleep a lot better. The benefits of our “Wake UP”sessions go on and on.

The Path To Inner Peace

When I started my daily mindfulness regimen a few years ago, I too started experiencing a plethora of benefits. There are far too many of them to list here but the most important was the deep sense of inner peace, something which I (and many of you reading this), have been wanting so desperately.

And I dare say that this has been one of the most significant milestones in my life: achieving an “unshaken sense of inner peace” that seems to reverberate throughout my being with the knowing that “All is Well”.

When we start to “live mindfully”, we hold our lives and the lives of others in the highest reverence. We see no difference between us and the rest of the world.

We begin to appreciate and embrace the interconnectedness of everything on our planet. We feel more love and compassion for each other and soon, with peace and joy in our hearts, we set the stage for world peace to become a reality in our lifetime.

Here are 4 simple steps to Inner Peace:

1. Sit comfortably in a quiet place, preferably in the outdoors (bare feet firmly on the grass). Take 5 slow but deep breaths, by this time your heartbeat has slowed down and you feel gentle and calm, but alert.
2. With the next in-breath, instruct all your pores to breathe with you. And with your out-breath, your pores “exhale” with you. So now, your whole body is breathing as a unit. Do 5 sets of this “inhale and exhale whole body breathing”, in a calm and relaxed manner.
3. Now, imagine that there are thick solid roots growing from the soles of your feet connecting you to the core of the planet, to the heart of Mother Earth. Feel the intensity of the support and love that shoot up from the core to your feet right up to your heart. Allow that energy to flow into your whole body. Be in this moment. Revel in this sensation.
4. When you are done, gently open your eyes. How do you feel? Charged up? Alert, with a sense of calmness? Feeling supported? Are you experiencing a deep sense of inner peace? Imagine your everyday interactions being infused with harmony, peace, love and happiness!

Do share the above visualization freely with everyone you meet!

*Join us for an invigorating experience at the newly rebranded “Nature Connection” (formerly “Wake-Up”), happening on 17th December 2023 at Bukit Jalil Recreational Park. Immerse yourself in nature’s embrace and rejuvenate your spirit. Registrations are now open! Secure your spot for this exciting outdoor event by visiting . We can’t wait to see you amidst the beauty of nature!

The Ultimate Guide To End Your Food Craving

Malaysians love to eat. Due to its multicultural heritage, there is no shortage to the variety of food found in Malaysian homes and restaurants at any time of the day. It is no surprise that studies published by The Lancet and in the New York Times have found that Malaysia is the most obese country in Asia.

Mindfulness 101 At Breakfast

Without a doubt, I love my food. One day not long ago, I found myself in a café ready to indulge in a breakfast buffet. I thought it would be another routine morning meal for me but this time, it was not to be.

As with all buffets, there lay a selection of dishes. They were very tempting, especially at breakfast after not having eaten for 8 hours. Naturally, I was ready to wolf down a big meal.

I stood there surveying the spread before me. As usual, my wide eyes quickly zoomed in on my favorite dishes. I was silently telling myself, “I want that, and I want this…” and this inner chatter went on until all my favorites were on my plate.

But something else happened that morning. For some reason, this time I didn’t just walk back to my table to dig into my huge breakfast. Pausing, I asked myself, “Why do I eat so much? Is it because I’m at a buffet?”

So, I decided to do an experiment. Slowing down my thoughts, I subtly went into my feelings. I wanted to understand why I craved food.

An Unbearable Temptation

I continued to just stare at the food sitting on my plate. My mind started to loop, saying, “Grab it! Just grab the mashed potato and the braised mushrooms. It’s just this one last time. You can stop eating the next time. No need to stop now!”

The temptation was unbearable. Because I loved potato I would take it daily in any form – mashed, fried, in dhal, in curry puffs, in anything!

Again, I called upon all my mental strength to stop my inner chatter so that I could understand why
I wanted to eat the potato. I observed what was driving me.

Intense feelings were prodding me to just eat and not think about it. That’s when I suddenly realized that even thinking about consuming the food made me happier. I felt a surge of energy shooting upward from my sacral chakra, opening up a feeling in my heart, making me feel unbelievably good..

A Past Cause

For many of us when we eat, the satisfaction from eating actually replaces the relief from stress or even the pleasure of happiness. When I started thinking about that deeply, I had a flashback to my childhood in school.

I was a timid child who was fearful about many things. I saw myself in Primary 3, in the morning school session, living in an environment I would consider too stressful for a 9-year-old. The mornings were spent under the supervision of an extremely strict teacher who punished me for test scores that were less than the perfect 100. In the afternoon, I would be tutored by an equally-strict home tutor. Later in the evening, I went home to parents who expected nothing but the best from me.

Back then, my happiest moments were when I was transiting between school and tuition in the car.

That was when I had the luxury of time to enjoy my home-cooked lunch packed in a tiffin box. That trip was about the only time of the day that I could enjoy some relief from the stress caused by those dreaded teachers. Such simple happiness meant a lot to me then.

And perhaps this is why to this day, I still associate food with happiness. Food brings back memories of those tiffin-box lunches and relief. I was not just eating. I was eating AND feeling happy. I was consuming for emotional reasons or what I would regard as “emotional consumption”.

Why Dieting Can Be Difficult

My realization at breakfast and the memories of my childhood brought me to understand further why it can be difficult to diet, because food has emotional value. For many people, it’s not about the food. Making a person go on a diet is like taking away his happiness, leaving him feeling dissatisfied or even “empty”. He may suppress the negative feelings but still feel down. Then he would return to the normal unhealthy eating again to regain his “happiness” that is represented by food.

If you want to lose weight, you should understand that you are eating to cover something. It could be the black hole of your heart, unhappiness, feeling trapped in life, stress, guilt, bad careers, bad relationships or financial issues. You are using food to cover something that’s missing and you want to be happy for that moment through such comfort eating. This is why it can be difficult to go on a diet. It’s not impossible but difficult, which means you’ll have to find your happiness through other means other than eating.

Smart Dieting

It’s important to know this link between diet and happiness. Because even if you manage to diet successfully, you need to realize that you would need another way of being happy. Therefore, it’s good to know, acknowledge, and have a permanent fix for whatever emotional problem within. This could be stress, unhappiness or anything at all. Once you identify the emotional cause, it’ll be a lot easier to go on a diet and change your lifestyle. It comes back to knowing yourself.

But How Do You Find Out What Your Emotional Drive Is?

Before you eat any food that you crave, pause 5 minutes and look at the food to understand why you’re feeling that intense craving. You’ll realize that this isn’t easy and you’ll see how that craving is very emotionally-driven. You’ll realize that actually you want nothing less than love, or happiness, or freedom, or even peace.

You may need to go back to the time when you first liked that food. What were the surrounding circumstances then? Eating is like an instant release, and you are actually looking for all the positive emotional value from eating that favorite food that’s laid out before you.

What’s The Cause?

When you’re hungry, it’s a biological reaction. But if you are in touch with your body, it will tell you what it needs and you won’t need a nutritionist or a doctor to tell you.

The problem is that people have become disconnected from their bodies. They don’t know that they can actually communicate with their bodies to obtain vital information about what their bodies need.

However, before you can communicate clearly with your body, you’ll need to get rid of the unhealthy emotions that are causing you to comfort eat. If you don’t resolve those drives, it’ll be hard to believe what your body tells you.

Once you identify the unhealthy emotional drive, you’ll have to release those experiences that had brought you to this point. For me, it was the unconscious stress I had when I was a young child in school. If it wasn’t for that stress, I wouldn’t be eating so much and driven in such a way.

The bottom line is not to address the desire or craving. Instead, address the stress or unhappiness that caused the emotional eating. Once you address that you’ll be relaxed or happy from the inside. You won’t need anything else, e.g. food, to substitute those good emotions any more. There is nothing wrong with the desire, it’s the stress that causes the desire. When the stress vanishes, so too will the desire.

How To Release Stress From Your Body Cells

The easiest way is to communicate with your body. Say, “Hey, this stress and tension is no longer needed in my body system. I no longer need this in my life. I would like to surrender this up to the Light through
my breath.” Then breathe it out. That’ll help you to release it.

I would say that this is the easiest way on your own to do it. You’ll find that your diet will change. Plus, you’ll be less afraid to pay more attention to the needs of your body from time to time, rather than listening to all the “experts” out there. Eventually you’ll become One with your body. Then you’ll eat because you’re hungry, not because you’re tense or stressed.

Emotional Consumption Is More Than Just Food

Emotional consumption is a habit for many people in the world. It comes in many forms and not just emotional eating. It can be emotional shopping, emotional vacationing, emotional sex, etc., all of which are done to fill an “empty hole” within oneself. What is your emotional consumption?

The Wisdom Of Patience

Patience is the ability to accept and tolerate delays, problems or suffering without anxiety or annoyance. Wisdom is the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment, all of which require the passing of time.

Many people around me, especially at work, sees me as an agreeable, “patient” sort of fellow although I don’t feel that way at all. My wife complains that I am like the “slow mo” version of her, and my sister gets all worked up because she says I am too tolerant of things.

The funny thing is that I have never considered myself to be a patient man despite all the feedback that I get. Maybe I’m selectively impatient; or maybe I’m impatient but I keep it all bottled up in me. Or maybe I have high expectations of myself.

What I hear from people about my patience and what I feel inside don’t sync for me. I still feel I’m still kind of impatient although I have improved tremendously since I started practicing meditation.

Here’s a list of what used to my pet peeves when it came to triggering my “impatient” switch and with it, how meditation practice has helped me realize important things about waiting, patience and myself.

Traffic Jams That Never End

I can still remember the tension, and even anger, that I felt as I sat there in the car waiting for some movement – any movement – so that I could get out of those traffic jams and back to my life. Why the jam? Why did the entire city population have to come out and drive when I was driving? Why did life have to have so many obstacles to where I want to go?

What meditation taught me about patience in traffic jams:

• Waiting forces us into the present moment. The zooming in of our attention on how we are “wasting” precious seconds now actually makes us mindful of the moment, which is something we should take note of.
• Waiting patiently is practicing peace. Patience is the peace in our hearts regardless of the external situation. Where there’s peace, anger finds no space to occupy.
• Reasons are not needed to be patient. In fact, reasons hamper patience because reasons seek to justify. Patience, like love, needs no justification for someone or something to be there with us.
• Patience is unselfish and generous. Everything and everyone around us have the right to exist just like us, sharing the same space with us. We should acknowledge and honor their presence.
• Obstacles in life do not block us but take us higher. The destination is really not as great a reward as the journey itself because it’s the journey, with its wonderful obstacles, are what makes us grow to be bigger and stronger. And that’s the true reward.

Reptition

I was never been a fan of sameness. I found sameness boring, like watching television re-runs. I liked the excitement and freshness of the new. Why repeat? Why did it have to be the same day after day? Why did life have to so boring?

What meditation taught me about patience in repetition:

• Meditating in itself is repetition, repeating moments of “doing nothing”. And that’s what’s so contradictory about it because meditation has shown me that in that nothing is everything. Questions have been answered, noises have been quietened and peace has been restored.
• Repetition is learning. The process of repeating something over and over is how we learn. When I first started to meditate, I had the problems that almost all beginners have: restlessness, can’t concentrate, unable to sit cross-legged for long, etc. But through repetition I had overcome all those difficulties and today I can sit for hours meditating without problem.
• Repetition disciplines and refines us. Doing something repetitively somehow disciplines us. It helps build mental and emotional strength and endurance thereby shaping character. Repetition refines us into the perfect diamond that we can be.
• Repetition changes us. To make a change in attitude or behavior, we need to repeat the emotion, thought and action over and over until our old attitude or behavior is replaced by the new one. This is why it is not enough to do something once to change (there are however exceptions in the case of very wilful people). If we are serious about making a change, then we must repeat the attitude or behavior until the new one becomes ingrained in us.

What in the end was I impatient about? Did I have so many things going in my life that I didn’t have time to stop and smell roses or give time to other people? What was I saving time for? Was it to do the same thing that I had been doing for years? In the end, isn’t time being in the moment with people and events, with love in my heart, time well spent?

Patience never rushes, neither does wisdom. Wisdom is the aggregation of all that we have experienced in time and with time. Like patience, wisdom is a child of time.

Patience is a great teacher. Like wisdom, it changes us. And great patience can change not only one individual but the whole of humanity. This is its wisdom.

Use USB Type-L For Relationship Reconnection

L for Love that is. After several years of being together, years of only meeting one another for just a few hours at night, just the two of you alone, you may feel very disconnected from your spouse or long-term partner. Even date nights can become routine. Most magazines out there will tell you to improve your sex life, which is great and all but what about reconnecting in other ways too?

We often don’t share much with one another anymore. We also don’t express our love and gratitude with deep emotion. Even saying “I love you” to one another, can become routine after awhile.

Are you starting to feel confused because you have been feeling lonely lately? Do you spend time wishing you could reverse time, back to the days you couldn’t wait to be together? Do you sometimes use ‘work’ as an excuse to avoid awkward pauses during dinner when you don’t know what to say? Or are you starting to treat your partner like another colleague or housemate?

Try out some of these suggestions, initially all these may seem awkward but over time, it will get easier and your efforts will pay off:

1. Share something special about your day before you go to bed

Ensure that you do it from the heart instead of from the head…i.e instead of “I made RM2000 today”, add in “…and it made me feel….”. It doesn’t have to be something momentous but it has to be something that really means something to you. And really listen when your spouse reflects on what happened to him that day.

2. Thank your spouse for doing whatever he or she does to make your life easier

Share with your spouse what you love about him or her or you can even thank him or her for doing simple things like folding the laundry or ordering in food. It may be something small but it’s something that makes a difference in your day or life. I hate washing clothes so I tell my husband that I appreciate him doing the laundry. My colleague appreciates that his wife always ensures that he has something to eat for dinner, whether she cooks it herself or not. Occasionally close an eye, or two if your partner does some things that you dislike, use unconditional love to keep you going.

3. Start making life decisions that are good for your marriage first then yourselves as individuals

We are used to spending most of our days at work so much so that we often make important decisions that benefit our career first, or that make us more money – for the family, we tell ourselves, but mainly because you want to keep the boss/colleague/client happy. Rarely do we make decisions that are good for the marriage or ourselves as a couple. This may create tension between the two of you, especially if it involves people who in some way threaten your relationship. Make your relationship a priority for once.

4. When you are discussing anything, add humor appropriately and positivity

When you talk about something from a positive perspective or focus on the plus points rather than the negative points, positivity just takes over and affects your behavior towards each other. And serious matters may seem easier to handle. It breaks the dark cloud hanging over the conversation. It makes you feel at one with each other.

5. Go to bed at the same time as much as possible.

When we end the day together, we are sending out the energy that we are partners living a shared life together, therefore we are “closing the day” together. Aim to get in bed together as often as you can even if it’s just to sleep. It’s something special between the two of you as it’s not something that happens with anyone else.

Most importantly though we need to admit that we can’t blame this disconnection on each other, it takes two to clap. Admit that years of prioritizing everything else has taken its toll on your relationship. Take responsibility and agree to move on differently, together.

3-MIN ENERGY BOOSTER MEDITATION

A fast & simple pick-me-up to brighten your day!

This is a simple yet powerful meditation for you to boost your energy when you are feeling lethargic or emotionally negative. You may also kick start your day with this short meditation for a focused and productive day!

1) Find a safe space without any distractions, be seated or standing.

2) Start breathing in deeply and allow the air to flow all the way into your lower abdomen and exhale slowly. Every time you inhale and exhale, feel yourself getting more and more relaxed.

3) Visualize the sun shining on you. As the light is falling onto you, breathe it in through your skin. Starting from your head, feel the warmth and light of the sun shining on your scalp, your face and continue downwards to your shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, entire back, down to your hips, thighs and feet.

4) Feel your whole body lighting up as if you were breathing in the light. As you breathe out, your light expands and it forms a bubble of light around you. Just like the sun, you are now shinning so bright and feeling warm.

5) End your meditation with a positive affirmation such as “I am energized & charged up!” or “I am ready for a productive day!”