Fun That We Rarely Have

A Word That Weighs More Than It Seems

As I sit before my laptop, I feel a little wave of sadness weighing heavy on my heart. Fun. A simple three-letter word — but the weight it carries is so deep and profound. Sadness seems to greet me first, before I feel the magic of fun. And as the years pass, fun has quietly become rarer.

I remember growing up, looking forward to November and December when school came to an end. That meant my cousin from KL would arrive at my grandfather’s house in JB. Oh, how excited I would be, waiting for their arrival. When they finally came, it was non-stop chaos — fun, fighting the way kids do, food, games, gossip, and some heated competitions. Nineties kids may remember that Beyblades were a very real thing back then. Mischievousness and laughter would fill the air.

Since I was the oldest of the girls, the three of us would come together for our own girls’ time. We would go up to my bedroom, lock the door, and gossip, laugh, tell stories, and do all the girly things — before we were rudely interrupted by the boys, always prying at the door. We had so many interesting tales shared within those walls. Now, none of them are present in my life. The cousins who were once so close are now a distant memory, lost in the past, locked away in our childhood. We grew up, and everyone seemed to decide they were too good for one another.

Why has fun become such a rare treasure? I lost an important part of my childhood somewhere in my adulthood. None of us could bring ourselves to carry that fun forward into the lives we now live. I wonder — did we really change for the worse?

Everyone becomes caught up in the current of their own lives. Did I change? Of course I did. My past made me who I am today. I love how it shaped me into becoming a life coach — from a Law graduate of the University of London to a coach. A completely different route, but I am proud of every step of that journey.

The Weight of Growing Up

I was inspired by an email I received about how many of us were burdened by stress, commitments, and responsibilities — postpone fun. We postpone the ability to truly enjoy ourselves, without needing some external stimulant to get there.

As I stepped into my entrepreneurial journey, which is quite recent, I realised that managing a business on your own means making sacrifices, and one of the first things to go is fun. It means sometimes skipping family gatherings to sit at home and work. It means playing the role of ten people, all on your own. Now, where exactly am I supposed to find the time for fun?

As I reminisce about my younger days, I remember dreading school and hating student life. I looked up at adults and thought, “Wow, it must be so amazing to be an adult. No one to boss you around.” I was guilty of wanting to grow up too fast. Adult life is exhilarating, but it comes with a price if you don’t know how to truly manage your life. I deeply regret not enjoying the freedom of being a child, unburdened by responsibilities and worries. Now I have full autonomy over my life. But where is the fun?

What Fun Means to Me Now

Fun, in my adulthood, feels fleeting, rare, and hard to come by. And you know what the epiphany of this moment is? I spend my days helping women navigate their limiting beliefs and triggers in life. And as I write this, I realise that this is a deep-seated trigger from my own past. As I write this article to inspire you, dear reader, I find myself being inspired in the process.

As my eyes well up, I arrive at a moment of realisation: Where did the part of me that once loved fun, laughter, stories, and gatherings go? The part of me that crackled with life like there was no one in the room — the part that allowed her soul to laugh freely without a trace of pain — where did she go?

My life was not a ride in the park. I survived things I do not wish on others. Crushed by PTSD and anxiety at one point, I watched my life burn down in flames and slowly built it back from the ashes. Somewhere in all of that, I lost my sense of fun. I forgot what fun even looked like. I struggled to connect with people who weren’t really aligned with who I was.

Something Has to Change

I have come to learn that fun is not a luxury reserved for vacations or special occasions. It is a vital spark that keeps our energy alive. Moments of play, curiosity, and laughter refresh the mind, lift the spirit, and remind us that joy is meant to be part of everyday life.

Have you ever come across a photo or a quote that reminded you not to save your happiness for when you’ve achieved a certain goal, or acquired something material? That same reminder is here, in this article, for you now. Reserve fun for the small but deeply meaningful moments of your everyday life — not just for the big occasions.

I recall one particular moment when I made my mum stop and have a Starbucks date with me. She was clearly restless and rushing me to head home, but I told her I wanted to take that moment to truly tune in — to let the world and all my problems dissolve, just for a little while. Me, my drink, my mum, and the café we were sitting in. Soft music playing in the background, easing into my mood. How freeing it was. Fun in doing nothing — simply by being fully present. It felt more than good enough.

When did you last experience fun like that? A deep, soul-level joy? Being fully present with yourself, sipping your favourite drink, with your favourite person — or even entirely on your own?

I See My Future Now

I believe that over the years, I have attached happiness to moments, people, memories, and situations outside of myself. I realise now that fun can come in any shape and form. I am giving myself permission to define fun in a way that feels truly aligned with my soul.

At this stage in my life, I feel excitement and genuine fun in helping women connect deeply with themselves. I feel fun in writing articles like this one — articles that push me out of my comfort zone and teach me a little more about the parts of myself I had forgotten. I feel fun in taking slow, intentional moments throughout my day. I feel joy in laughing like there is no one watching. I feel fun in meditating and in my quiet moments alone with the Universe.

Today, I am writing a new story. I envision a circle of aligned women, bonded together around a bonfire under a starlit sky. Fun music playing softly in the background. A gentle swim in a glistening lake. Laughter that feels soulful and genuine. Dancing that uplifts and heals. Stories shared that pull us closer to one another. A sisterhood that gathers every full moon under the open sky — enjoying life, and growing together spiritually.

My vision of fun has evolved. As I wipe away the tears of the past, I feel the heaviness lifting. I open myself to this new future — a future of having fun in a way that truly nourishes and uplifts my soul.

Dear Reader, Feed Your Soul

I invite you to take a quiet moment and reflect on this journal prompt:

“What is your soul’s definition of fun, and how do you wish to live it?”

It can be as simple as enjoying a warm cup of tea in the peaceful silence of your morning, or choosing to be more fully present in the lives of your children. What makes you feel genuinely alive at the soul level? Write it down. And then live by it.

Fun has a way of resetting the nervous system. It reminds you that life is not only about hustle and grind, about stress and responsibilities, about past traumas or triggers. When you begin incorporating small, soul-aligned moments of fun into your daily life, watch how much shifts for you.

Can you make a quiet promise to yourself — a pinky swear that you will commit to doing at least one small, joyful thing every single day? This one practice will gently guide you back to yourself, back to the part of you that you lost somewhere along the way. Even a few minutes can shift the entire tone of your day.

Lean into the sound of pure joy when it arrives. Amplify it. Feel it. Let it cascade through every cell of your body. And afterwards, take one small moment to feel grateful for the fun you allowed yourself to experience.

As I write this final sentence, I realise something I had not expected. I came here to write about fun — and somewhere between the memories of my cousins in JB, the tears I did not plan to shed, and the Starbucks moment with my mum, I found a small, quiet piece of myself that I had left behind without even noticing.

I had been waiting. Waiting to have fun until I had built something worthy of celebrating. Waiting to laugh freely until life felt stable enough to exhale. Waiting to simply be — until I had become everything I set out to become.

But life does not pause while we prepare for it. It is already happening, in the ordinary Tuesday afternoons, in the quiet cup of coffee, in the unexpected laugh that catches you off guard. It was always happening. I was just too busy postponing it to notice.

I do not have all the answers yet. My coaching practice is still young. My bonfire sisterhood is still a vision on the horizon. But today — just today — I let myself feel a little lighter for having written this. For having remembered. For having allowed the girl who once locked her bedroom door and laughed until her sides hurt to show up, even briefly, in these pages.

That felt like enough. That felt like fun. Happy Fun.

Crafting Your Own Incense

It didn’t begin with a plan.

There was no intention to learn a new craft or pick up a hobby. It started from a simple place, a moment in life that felt mentally heavy, where slowing down wasn’t a luxury, but a quiet need.

During that time, incense became a small companion. Lighting it brought a sense of ease, even if just for a while. And when the ones I often reached for ran out, I found myself wondering, what if I tried making my own?

What began as a practical solution slowly unfolded into something more meaningful.

Slowing Down, Naturally

Incense crafting is not something you can rush.

Crushing herbs. Blending ingredients. Shaping the mixture by hand. Each step asks for your presence.

And in that process, something shifts.

Not because you force your mind to be quiet, but because your attention gently moves into what you’re doing. The texture beneath your fingers. The scent released as herbs are crushed. The subtle adjustments needed to bring everything together.

Without realising, you arrive into the present moment.

A Practice That Engages the Senses

What makes this experience different is how it invites your senses in.

The aroma changes with every blend.
The texture evolves in your hands.
Even lighting what you’ve created feels different.

It’s no longer just about burning incense.

It becomes an experience of noticing, how your body responds, how certain scents calm you, or how others awaken something within. A quiet conversation between you and what you create.

There Is No One Right Way

At the beginning, it’s natural to look for the “correct” way.

The right ingredients.
The right ratios.
The right method.

But very quickly, that idea softens.

The same recipe can turn out differently each time. What works for someone else may not feel right for you. And that’s where the real learning begins.

You start to adjust and to observe by trusting your own sense. A little more here. A little less there. Trying again, not to get it perfect, but to understand what works for you.

Letting Go of Getting It “Right”

Somewhere along the way, the process becomes less about outcome, and more about experience.

When the need to follow something perfectly fades, space opens up.

I have become more patient.
More attentive.
More willing to try, without needing immediate success.

And perhaps the deeper realisation is this, it’s not just about incense.

In many areas of life, we follow unspoken expectations. We search for the “right” way, even when it doesn’t fully resonate with who we are.

This practice gently reminded me that there isn’t always one way. That exploring, adjusting, even getting it “wrong,” is part of how I find what is true for myself.

Creating Space for Clarity

As the hands stay occupied and the mind softens, something else begins to unfold.
Clarity.

Not because I am trying to solve anything. But because I’ve stepped out of the constant noise of thinking. And in that quiet space, perspectives shift.

What once felt overwhelming becomes more manageable. Decisions feel lighter. Not because life has changed, but because I have.

A Simple Practice, A Quiet Impact

Incense crafting is simple. It doesn’t require complexity or mastery.

Yet, what it offers goes beyond what is created at the end.

It becomes:

A way to slow down
A way to reconnect with your senses
A way to step out of overthinking
A way to explore without needing certainty

And sometimes, that is all we need.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed or mentally stretched, perhaps this is your gentle reminder:
You don’t always need a big solution.

Sometimes, you just need a simple practice that brings you back to yourself.

An Invitation to Experience

This was why this workshop came to life.

Not as a class to get things right. But as a space to slow down, to reconnect, and to experience something simple through your own hands.

A space where there is no pressure to create something perfect. Only an opportunity to explore, to notice, and to be present.

This practice offered me more than I expected. And perhaps, it might offer you something too.

NATURALLY DETERMINED

One of the key ingredients to living successfully has to be being determined. And this has mostly been a challenge for me.

I remember climbing up the narrow steps to the top of a lighthouse. I made it up to about 98% at the top. Yet that last elusive 2% involved going up a steep ladder. Fear overtook me (yes, I had this thing about climbing ladders). Determination fled. To this day, I regret it.

When Nature Leads The Way

I learned about determination from plants. The blue pea that persists in my garden amazes me. I had discarded the first plant and entire pot ages ago.

Yet, the sneaky creeper’s descendents wait silently in shady corners. The minute I am busy with my work, it starts to snake its way up a bigger plant. Winding up and winding up its host plant, until it reaches to the top.

I pull it out with irritation, only to discover it or its sibling growing ferociously again. My irritation has been replaced by a silent admiration. I realized that this hardy plant has a never-die attitude that I could learn much from.

Like plants that sometimes evolve to suit the environment, I find that I too have evolved. Determination is becoming a friend of mine.

The Early Stages

But I do have to warn you about something. That is if you too are keen on being more determined.

When I first started to focus on determination, my body protested loudly. Let me explain.

There were times when I wanted to work for longer hours than normal. My mind was focused and my heart was totally for it. It was only the body that refused to play nice.

A queasy stress would then surge up, overpowering me completely. Initially I thought I was tired out, etc. Blinded, I usually gave in to the body’s refusal to carry on.

Later I learnt that it’s sort of a built-in mechanism the body has when you move out of your comfort zone.

Isn’t it ironic that you need determination to be determined?

Determination Rules

Am I more determined now? I’m getting there.

I give more intent to work on things. And I push through to complete certain things before the day ends.

Admittedly, it helps tremendously that there’s a small group that I “report” to about my progress. My reports clearly show when my determinations spike.

We keep one another’s spirit up through constant discussions. It’s like companion planting in gardens. When you grow certain different plants close to one another, they do extremely well. So, pick your cheerleaders wisely.

By the way, don’t expect cultivating determination to be like cooking instant noodles. Think more along the lines of growing a solid large tree that will live for centuries. It’s time-consuming, for sure. But well worth the effort!

Words of Power To Transform Your Life

Vol. 32

In most cases, the challenges (some are minor problems while others can be full-blown crises) are related to relationships, health, money, friendships, children, happiness and other daily life experiences.

Let’s analyze the situations carefully. In many cases, they are unavoidable because we are exposed to various conditions from when we wake up until we go to sleep daily.

Life System

We resort to various actions and techniques to remove or ease these tests and challenges, but the troubles continue to recur because some of these concerns are part of our life’s system.

I had a friend who shared an enlightening story with me on how she manages to cope with her life through affirmations after her marriage failed two years ago.

“My life was shattered when my marriage broke up, but I picked up the pieces and got myself together with one strong affirmation that read ‘I WILL SURVIVE’,” she said.

She displays the declaration, printed in bold letters, on the wall at her workplace and in bedroom. She reads the words whenever she has flashbacks of her unpleasant past or when she sinks into disillusionment.

Affirmations

Powerful words or phrases are affirmations that generate positive thoughts. Read repeatedly, they program our conscious and subconscious minds.

Saying things to ourselves, about ourselves, constantly help achieve all that we want because they become beliefs that soon become reality. Such exercises ward off negative emotions and create new and constructive thought patterns in the mind. All of us have a power center within us, and to activate this power center we use commanding words found in affirmations.

Repeating daily affirmations helps transform a person’s self-image and gives him or her the confidence to dismiss the past and move forward bravely.

There are various types of affirmations: single word affirmations, phrase affirmations, spoken affirmations and recorded affirmations.

For example, single word affirmations are word like:
• LOVE
• POWER
• PEACE
• SUPER
• COOL
• CALM
• STRONG
• BRAVE
• CONFIDENT
• OPTIMISTIC

Just viewing or mentally repeating such words daily allows us to program our mind, body, and spirit to handle daily situations.

Phrase affirmations are affirmations that are made as a sentence or phrase. Examples are “I am confident”, “I am brave”, “I am strong”, “I am worthy of the best things” and “Every day and in every way I am getting healthier/ wealthier/ happier”.

Spoken affirmation are simple affirmation that you make audibly to yourself. If you so wish, you can even record your affirmations and play them back to yourself whenever you feel you need a boost of positivity. Recorded affirmations are effective because they can be played before we begin the day or whilst we are doing something else like preparing meals.

We want to use these different ways of affirming depending on the situation and the purpose. Also, try not to use more than three affirmations, or it will dilute your focus.

A Daily Mission Statement

We can also write an affirmation a dozen times or more on a piece of paper using red ink before we start our day, making the affirmation our mission statement.

Use the present tense when writing affirmations. As you write, do it with faith and respect.

Repeating an affirmation is one of the best ways to start our day because by saying our chosen phrases, we strengthen ourselves internally and create an aura of confidence.

How To Practice Affirmations

The best time to practice affirmations is before we go to sleep or shortly after we wake up.

Affirmations protect us from being influenced by negative situations. Ever so often, we find ourselves amongst people who speak negative words, which effectively are “negative” affirmations.

To strengthen an affirmation, try using images or visualizing the affirmation. Feel the truth of the words you are affirming.

To relax, hang a big picture of a scenic waterfall or a pleasant scene and mentally visualize that you are part of the image.

Affirmations For Studies

Affirmations are also highly recommended for students as part of their art of learning skills. Positive affirmations give hope and act as a guide for students to stay focused on their path to success.

Children stay alert during their studies when they are taught the slogans and phrases that neutralize negative influences. All that’s required is constant exposure to the affirmation phrases which can be hung on a wall for them to read or recite.

Here are some affirmations for students:
• I am a super reader.
• I study like a sponge.
• The exam is output learning.
• I always laugh and smile a lot.
• I learn quickly and remember well.
• I always find ways to improve myself.
• For things to change, I must change first.
• Learning is fun, exciting and interesting.
• When I have a plan, I have directed attention.
• I always plan time to do my revision every day.
• My memory is getting better and better each day.
• When I have a purpose, I have deeper concentration.
• I have the strength and courage to express myself.
• I appreciate and love myself more and more every day.
• When I read, I use my finger to help me focus and concentrate.
• When I used my body to sit correctly, I have controlled concentration.
• I will do my best, and if I make a mistake, I will learn from my mistake.
• I am exceptional, I like who I am, and I feel great about myself.
• When I study for 25-40 minutes, I will take a short study break of 20 seconds to three minutes only, and then I will continue.
• When I walk, talk, smile and, more importantly, think like an “A” Star student, I will begin to be like one.

Emotional Alchemy: Turning Workplace Pressure into Inner Power

In the middle of our workday, there are moments we often overlook. A comment stings. A deadline weighs heavy on the chest. An email unsettles us in ways we can’t explain. And yet, we keep moving—pushing through, smiling on cue, staying composed—because that’s what we’ve been taught.

But beneath the tasks and meetings, something inside us longs to be heard. What if these emotions weren’t obstacles, but messengers guiding us toward growth?

This is emotional alchemy. The art of transforming emotional heaviness into clarity and resilience. It’s not about escaping work, shutting down, or pretending everything is fine. It’s about meeting emotions with compassion and allowing them to guide us back to ourselves.

Emotions Are Not the Enemy

In many workplaces, emotions are treated as distractions – messy, inconvenient, best hidden away. But emotions themselves are not the problem. Suppressing them is.

For example:

• Anger often points to crossed boundaries.
• Anxiety can be a call for safety or slowing down.
• Sadness may signal grief or misaligned values.

When ignored, these signals grow louder, showing up as stress, disconnection, or burnout. But when acknowledged with kindness, emotions soften. They reveal wisdom. They shift.

Emotional alchemy begins when we stop running from our feelings and start listening.

What Emotional Alchemy Really Is

Emotional alchemy isn’t about “fixing” yourself or being endlessly positive. It’s about presence. Holding a space for emotions without judgment, and letting them evolve naturally.

It’s as simple as:

• Feeling what is real, without shame.
• Naming it honestly, without judgment.
• Breathing into it, without resistance.
• Letting it transform, without force.

The magic lies in gentleness, not control.

Simple Practices

You don’t need hours to practice emotional alchemy. It begins with awareness, breath, and compassion. Here are simple ways to bring it into your day:

1. The 3-Breath Reset
When emotions rise, inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 8, and whisper inwardly: “I feel. I breathe. I soften.”
This calms the nervous system and grounds you back into your body.

2. Emotional Reflection Journal
At the end of the day, ask and journal down: “What did I feel today? What was it teaching me?”
This gentle check-in turns emotions into insight.

3. Heart Tap Grounding
Place your hand on your heart, tap softly, and affirm: “It’s safe to feel. I am safe with me.”
This restores inner safety when things feel overwhelming.

4. Naming Without Judging
Silently name emotions as they arise: This is tension. “This is fear. This is sadness.”
Naming creates space between you and the feeling, opening room for transformation.

Creating Emotional Safety Together

Emotional safety at work isn’t just HR’s responsibility. It starts with each of us. Small acts make a difference: a genuine “how are you?”, a softer tone, or a mindful pause before reacting.

Your presence may become the safe harbor someone else needs today. And as we learn to be kinder with our inner world, we naturally create safer spaces for others.

Coming Home to Yourself

Many believe peace can only be found outside of work. But you can return to yourself even in the middle of a meeting, while answering emails, or during a stressful call.

• Whisper kindness to yourself during presentations.
• Ground your feet on the floor before negotiations.
• Take a breath before replying to a difficult message.

These small acts are emotional alchemy in motion. The moment you choose to pause instead of push, to breathe instead of break, to feel instead of freeze.

You Are the Alchemist

You are not too sensitive. You are beautifully attuned in a world that often forgets how to feel.

You are not behind. You are exactly where you need to be – awakening, softening, remembering.

And you are not alone. Every day, more hearts are learning to meet work, and life, with presence.

You are the alchemist. Not with fire and gold, but with breath, compassion, and courage. Let your workplace become not just a site of tasks, but a space of healing, because you showed up with awareness.

Every feeling is a messenger. Every moment is a chance to return to wholeness.

THE ABCs OF LISTENING TO YOUR HEART

Since the scientific revolution, humankind as a civilization has placed a premium on using the logic of the rational mind or brain to solve our problems and make sense of our world. This emphasis on the mind, which has brought us tremendous material progress, has however made us forget our connection with our hearts.

Looking at how the world is today, perhaps it is time for us to reconnect with our hearts to put more balance back into the way we solve our problems. The heart has intelligence, which unlike the hard factual approach of the mind, is based on a kind of fuzzy ‘logic’ which is just as valid. We exist within a dualistic (some would say digital) reality which requires the heart to function together with the mind as partners rather than adversaries. The’ king’ cannot rule alone and must have its queen.

How many bad choices have you made in your life? Why is it that with all the brain logic you have in your arsenal, you still make bad choices in your life? What’s missing? Personally, I have had my share of trip-ups with money, career and relationships. For me, what was missing was my heart. Having found my re-connection, I now make better decisions. Perhaps you too, can do with a little heart “logic” yourself.

Reconnecting with your heart starts with listening to your heart and here is the ABCS to it.

1. A – ATTEND TO YOUR HEART

Paying attention to your heart center is the first step. Simply focus on the area of your physical heart. This activates your heart center and forms the connection from your brain to your heart.

Whilst focusing, feel the sensations it gives out. This is your heart communicating with you. First listen to the beat of your physical heart and thereafter, focus beyond the physical heartbeat to the “rhythm” of your inner heart. By doing this, you begin to form a connection, like tuning in to a radio, with your inner heart’s frequency.

Spend 7 minutes daily on this exercise for 21 days in a stretch until you are totally in tune with your heart’s frequency. If you forget to do it for even a day, you have to start Day 1 all over again, until you can do it without a break for 21 days straight.

2. B – BREATHE TO ENERGIZE

Breathing energizes the heart as the air passes through the lungs near to the heart area. Be sure to do deep breathing (also known as ‘belly breathing’) where you breathe all the way down into the abdomen.

Like what physical exercise does for the body, energizing the heart (not the physical heart but the inner heart) allows more qi or prana (vital life force) to flow through. This makes it stronger and more responsive.

Breathe slowly and mindfully, drawing each breath fully through your nose into your abdomen, holding it in the abdomen for a couple of seconds, and releasing the breath fully through your nose.

Do this for 7 cycles, each cycle comprising an in-breath, the hold and the corresponding out-breath. Done properly, you should feel very comfortable and relaxed. Do this exercise daily for 21 days until it becomes a habit every time you connect with your heart.

3. C- CALM YOUR EMOTIONS

The calmer your emotions, the better you listen to your heart’s response to your enquiry as there will be less “noise” to drown its message. Unsettled emotions are like a turbulent sea, so your heart’s message can easily get lost in such turbulence.

Calming your emotions is a simple matter of not emotionally reacting to people or events that trigger you, be it “good” or “bad” emotions. This requires being observant or mindful of your inner emotions so that they don’t get the better of you.

Observe within yourself the welling up of emotions such as anger for instance, then consciously and willfully choose not to speak or act on such occasions. Note that anger doesn’t just “happen”, there is always a phase when the emotion starts to form and build up – this is the critical phase at which you should “nip the emotion in the bud” before it grows into something

4. SHHH!…BE QUIET, AND LISTEN

The heart is subtle and speaks almost in a whisper. So you must be quiet if you are to hear your heart’s voice. Your heart does not compete for attention not does it demand attention. It leaves you with free will to choose to listen to it or not.

The first three steps (A, B and C) of listening to your heart set you up to be quiet within so that you can listen to your heart with more clarity. A quiet space will amplify the softest whispers of the heart. Then, all you need to do is to simply ask the question and listen attentively to your heart for the answer which always comes instantly.

Food for thought (for those who finished reading the article):

Notice how the above article seems to appeal to your brain with its logical attempt. Would you have continued reading the article if it was otherwise? Would you have just “listened to your heart” and continued reading the article if it wasn’t “reasoned” out the way it was? “Think” about this…and when you do, would you be doing the “thinking” with your brain or your heart…or both?

THE BUSINESS OF ABUNDANCE

Vol.17

How Do You Feel?

Do you feel tired and lethargic all the time? Stressed up about your business or work? When feeling so lethargic, one can hardly think clearly and work on one’s success. How do you get back to feeling positive and proactive? How you feel affects your abundance mind.

Friends Ask…

Many friends ask me how I keep being energetic all the time. Do I take vitamins? Do I do particular treatments? Hardly, I tell them. What I do is that I practice an abundance mind and that keeps me going all day long.

So What Is This Abundance Mind?

Abundance mind is when I feel wholesome and when my inner self is aligned with my external well- being. An example of alignment is when my inner self feels peaceful and abundant, and this will be reflected in my external circumstances such as my business.

Why Abundance Mind?

When I started researching the subject of abundance, I came across lots of information on achieving abundance in one’s personal life. However, very little is said about abundance in business, groups, organizations or even whole communities. For this article, I would like to talk about having an abundance mind in business.

The other reason for writing about an abundance mind in business is because I would like to share my experiences and help people succeed in their business like I did. There are many fantastic business ideas that run on common beliefs, such as, so long you have customers you are fine. But is that enough? Can the business sustain over the long run? Will customers keep coming? Will there be new customers?

The business owner should realize that low energy levels in the people who run the business, from the business owner to the staff, do affect the business. Low energy levels do not pull in the customers (and other stakeholders including staff and suppliers) as compared with a confident, positive mindset. Even if customers come, they may not be retained.

The Importance Of An Abundance Mind In Business

“If you do not do what you cannot do, that’s no problem. But if you do not do what you can do, you are a tragedy.” ~ Sadhguru

The Bigger The Purpose, The Bigger The Success

When the purpose is not just about oneself but also for the betterment of or inspires others, the universe will send the right energy of success and prosperity in the direction of the business. I am not just talking about social enterprises or charities, but also for-profit organizations. When the purpose is right, success will come.

Team Alignment

When you and your team are aligned strongly to a clear and bigger purpose, you will see that you will attract the right business partners, suppliers and customers or clients who will be similarly aligned. They will agree with your purpose and goals and they will support you through not only the good but also the bad times.

Now let’s take a look at what it takes to build an abundance mind in business.

Building The Abundance Mind

The abundance mind in business is achieved when the entrepreneur feels blissful, contented and always have good numbers of clients and resources. The organization is able to attract good people to work with them, at the same time pulling in great clients and resources. This type of organization competes with themselves rather than with “competitors”, their purpose being to bring massive value to their customers.

Align The Core Values Of The People

Step 1: Align the core values of individuals, partners and employees.

For individuals
Start by writing down 5-6 core values that resonate with you, for example: integrity, punctuality, transparency, love, family. After stating your core values, write down a line or two to explain what you mean about the core values you have chosen to uphold.

For partners/employees
After writing down your individual core values, have your partner or employee write down her core values. Do get her to also write down a line or two that explains those core values.

Step 2: Have a discussion to combine core values

The two of you should discuss your core values together. Are there similarities? Are there differences? With any difference, is it something the both of you can compromise on or modify? Combine your core values and streamline them to fewer than 10 items, which then make up the team’s core values.

Step 3: Make a decision

What happens when you do not accept your partner/employee’s core values? Call off the collaboration if you cannot accept her values.

Let me share with you a situationI was involved in. I received a long distance call from a potential collaborator. And during that first call, we already had quite a few points that neither of us could compromise on. Right after the call, I quietened down and brought forth my core values and marked off those values that didn’t resonate with his. I then called off further discussions after discovering how unaligned he and I were.

Align The Business With The Inner Self

What else do you do to achieve abundance mindset? How do you align the business with your inner self?

Let me share with you my morning regime.
1. I go through a gratitude process and answer the following questions:
• What’s my goal for my business today (the one thing I want to most achieve)?
• What are the 10 things that I am most grateful for now in my business?
• What am I willing to give to others today?

2. I then follow a Priming Process shared by Anthony Robbins. Key learnings of Priming Process:
• Practice gratitude (as in #1)
• Visualize (colored light filling the body to heal all parts of you and all problems)
• Share love (send positive energy and love to other people)
• Celebrate all wins (feel the feeling of success as if you have already achieved your chosen business goals)

3. Throughout the day, I would use the Insight Timer App to do meditation.
This is an interesting app as it provides choices of guided meditations. No more excuses that you don’t have time because you can select a 5-minute meditation and do it even when you are commuting.

4. I use a planner to plan and review my daily, weekly, monthly and yearly activities to keep moving forward towards my business goals. I also use this planner to record my vision, mission and goals that I review from time to time. This is important to constantly keep myself focused and in alignment with my business goals, especially during stressful times.

5. I use essential oils daily to maintain my focus, clarity of mind and to help me relax. Throughout the day, I use different oils for different purposes. I particularly like White Angelica essential oil to guard off negative energies.

6. Loving myself. I spend some time weekly to do things I like. When you love yourself more, you can also love others more. This is how love is.

All businesses should adopt the abundance mind. This is the way forward if a business is to thrive and prosper in this new age. Once the inner self aligns with the external well-being and when one does things that one is passionate about, success and well-being will happen synchronously. When more people such as business owners and employees live abundant lives with the abundance mind, it would augur a more abundant, happier and peaceful era for our world.

SHOWING ME HOW TO BE A DAD

If the word “root” means the “source, basic cause or origin” of something, then we can say that Father is one of the 2 roots of one’s biological existence, the other being Mother.

Father’s Day is upon us this year on 15 June.

I am lucky to have spent good time with my father who had already passed on years ago. And because I thought he was such a hero dad, I am doing my best to continue his legacy through my role as a father to my teenage son.

The following are things which I want to say to my father as I contemplate this short article which I dedicate to him who is and will always remain my root in this life’s journey.

A Message To My Father

I loved my own father. He was my hero. I loved him for the closeness that we had and the times that we shared. He was the kind of father who would not hesitate to give loving hugs to his son, praise the young boy to encourage him and who never said a word in anger.

If he was here today for Father’s Day, this is what I would say to him:

Pa, thank you for…………..

Being the loving dad who always showered me with love and affection,

Adopting me that I got better opportunities, was better fed, better clothed, better sheltered and better schooled,

Giving me time no matter how busy you were,

Your gentle voice of wisdom and discipline,

Teaching me to always speak truth and not judge people by their color,

Being the hero when I was bullied on my first day at school,

Attending my prize-giving and sports days at school,

Teaching me how to tie my shoe laces, button my clothes and knot my tie,

The holidays at the beach, the highlands, Penang, Singapore and all other fun places;

And most of all,

Thank you, sir, for showing me how to be a dad.

A Message From A Father

My teenage son is a good son, always considerate and loving toward his parents. But baring it out, I do encounter some communication problems with him because often, I am not sure whether to talk to him as I do a child or an adult.

For this Father’s Day which we would inevitably spend a wonderful day together, this is what I will say to him:

My son, thank you for……….

Giving me the opportunity to shower you with love and affection,

Giving me lessons in patience,

Giving me lessons in unconditional giving,

Helping me get my time by giving it to you

Your voice of innocent curiosity that asks questions which I too learn from,

Letting me be your hero when I answer those questions of yours,

For showing me the need to discipline me too,

Teaching me to always speak my truth if I want you to be truthful,

Helping me recall the sweet memories of my happy school days when I go to yours,

Letting me show you the joy of flying the kite, walking the hills and being with life,

Sharing holidays at the beach, the highlands and all those other fun places,

Allowing me the pleasure of teaching you the dance, the drive and the dare.

And most of all,

Thank you, son, for showing me how to be dad.

BOOK REVIEW: WALKING WITH THE MASTER

Volume 17

How It All Started

To share so openly about very personal issues is no easy task and the writers of The Golden Space family do just this. To show your face while opening yourself to the rest of the world definitely takes courage, love and trust beyond what you may find while reading your typical run-of-the-mill motivation book. Evidence, perhaps, that the writers do walk their talk as taught by their Master.

Interspersed between these medleys of personal sharing, are inspiring quotes that remind the reader that one’s life is often not all that it seems to be. Without further exploration or illuminating reflection one would miss the opportunities to stretch one’s potential as a human being to great lengths.

In case you think that this book appeals to only certain readers, be assured we humans are not that different from one another. Somewhere between the first and last page, you will find a mirror of your life, a story that is similar to yours.

Questions that you have been asking yourself will appear within the pages. The answers that others have found will confirm you have a role to play in the bigger picture of Life. Yes, this book is for everyone.

Continuing to read, you can’t help but be filled with a sense of empowerment and love, one that will start changing the life you currently lead in small ways whether you initially realize it or not. The book will touch you in different ways, deep within your body, mind and soul.

You will also realize that there is something deeper than wisdom that drives the Master, who leads others to realize their calling as he answers the call of the Divine himself. This Master of Pure Light and Unconditional Love serves to make you not just a mere follower but a Master in your own right.

Furthermore the sense of family, togetherness and oneness that permeates the book may even melt hearts that have been frozen or shut away for a long while, as we humans tend to do when we encounter hurt.

Pick up this book if you want to make a change in your life; if you are ready to take the leap off your comfortable mountain of fears into a new and purposeful life. From page to page, this book will definitely make you feel that you want more… for yourself and for the rest of humanity.

FREEDOM OF SOUL

Our Just Desserts

We get what we deserve.

You’ve heard this phrase many times. It contains a serious truth because there is always cause and effect in this funny world.

So, what’s the cause?

The cause is you. Yes, you! You sow what you reap, you harvest the fruits of your labor, you eat what you farm, well, you get the idea…

Rule No. 1 + Rule No. 2

Arguably the Rule No. 1 of living a happy life is taking responsibility.

The Rule No. 2 is acceptance.

Add Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2 and you get “accepting responsibility”.

The Great Freedom

So instead of blaming your parents, your teacher, your politician (although how tempting it may be to do so), your foreigner neighbor and your pet goldfish, do accept responsibility for what’s happening in your life right now.

This is the Great Freedom, which basically is the freedom to be who you are instead of depending on other people and events to define you and your behavior.

When you allow yourself this freedom to be free from outside interference, you are taking responsibility to be the person you want to be instead of being run by the programs that were installed in your brain since you were born.

Those programs are the behaviors and beliefs that you copy from the significant people and events in your life, programs which could help or hurt you for the rest of your life.

These programs dictate who you should be and how you should behave in set circumstances, none of which allow you to express yourself in possibly healthier ways that you would if left to your own devices.

These programs, for better or worse, have made you a prisoner in your own your mind; without the freedom to express yourself authentically.

Not All Dangers Are Mortal Dangers – Really?

But you might ask, aren’t these programs meant to protect us from the dangers that’s out there in the world, and cope with all the challenges that one would face as a human being?

Yes and no. If the program teaches you to stay away from mortal danger (for example, the program that warns you against taking a selfie standing on one leg at the edge of a cliff), and teaches you good things like hygiene and how to take care of your body, then that’s fine.

“Bad” Programming!

But not programs that, for example, tell you that rich people are greedy (so you shouldn’t be rich if you don’t want to be labelled as greedy) or those that scare you into being afraid of noises in the dark or of people who are different from you: these are not fine – not by a long shot.

Because “bad” programs such as these:
– limit your self-belief, self-esteem and therefore your very empowerment to be the limitless being that you potentially can be,
– are written in the language of fear which stops you from expressing the love, peace and joy that you fundamentally are.

This is not to say that other people are bad people and the world is a bad world that’s conspiring to stop us from being the love, peace and joy that we are.

It is just that human consciousness has not yet come to a stage where we know ourselves as eternal souls and not just biological beings, so many, many people still have a very strong, even caveman-like, survival instinct that kicks in as defense when any threat is perceived.

Unfortunately, we tend to spread this limited consciousness, as mental memes. A meme is like a virus which finds a willing mind as host, infects the mind and replicates itself by influencing other willing minds. Hence ignorance spreads and conflicts, for example, continue to plague the world.

Live Free in Your Soul

Freedom is the breaking of the shackles of the bad programming that had limited us from fully expressing the love, peace, joy and all the fantastic qualities of being that we are.

Therefore, do not rely on the imprisoned mind so much, for it itself has not tasted freedom to know what truth is outside of its walls. Seek out the freedom that is outside of the mind, the freedom that is known by acknowledging the eternal soul that has been waiting all this time for us to awaken to its presence.

Live free and take responsibility – you’ll find that life is NOT a b – – – – – after all, but instead, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!

LIVE THE JOURNEY, ENJOY THE RIDE

Nothing is ever perfect and our lives are all about doing the best in our capacity to make perfect and transcend the imperfections with grace, balance and gratitude. Most of the time we are constantly pressured to achieve this or that. It’s almost a daily chore and we keep getting drowned in the several “To Do Lists” or goals we create. What happens in real, is that we, with our staple habits of anxiety, rush into things and are intensely, in worrisome ways caught up in the achieving of our goals or the results of our efforts.

In the whole bargain we miss the bus. The bus that takes us through the tiny pathways of this wonderful process and journey towards the set destination. We have always heard that it is the journey that is important and not just the resultant end; yet we are unable to implement that into action.

Here are some simple ways for you to change your mind-set, and the road map towards your goals that shall help you in an all-rounded manner to victory your goals. Enjoy your own effortful voyage feeling full of peace and calm, whether you achieve a particular goal or not.

Surrender To Co-create A Goal

Once you create any goals, pay more attention and focus on your efforts rather than the anxiety of reaching the destination and achieving the goals. Daily intend detachment from the hyper thoughts or its results. Keep a small colourful book and appreciate yourself by creating a daily journal of baby steps that you achieve.

When you detach yourself from the results and keep working with patience, diligence, clarity, focus and confidence, you shall be able to do complete justice to each step and milestone and enjoy it too. You shall then be able to embrace and retain the priceless lessons hidden in that soulful trip, whether or not you’ve accomplished the goal.

And when you do attain your goals, which 99% you shall if you go this route, then you have a soul patting achievement along with the treasures of a valuable ride to it.

Surrendering is not complacency. Surrendering is doing your best with what IS and leaving the rest, while you live in gratitude for your own efforts irrespective of the ending or conclusive results.

An Angelic Prayer Of Detachment

Here is a loving Angelic prayer that can help you with detachment from results, while working your way through the triumphant ending, and enjoying the progression. You can say this prayer 7 times each in the morning and night for one or more cycles of 21 days depending on your own personal situations and their intensity.

Angel Prayer: “Dear Universe and Angels, I ask You to help me with focus, clarity, confidence, patience, and diligence at all times. I ask you to fill me with love and inspiration to fulfil all my goals. I ask you to assist me in detaching from all results and yet be motivated enough to succeed. I ask you to help me to enjoy and appreciate all efforts and learn the hidden lessons for my soul’s growth. I ask you to surface all the blessings in everything that I initiate. I thank you for helping me do my best and leave the rest to the universe for my highest best. Thank You and So Be It.”

You could also incorporate this Powerful Instant Energy Release and Uplifting Meditation (PIERUM) in your daily routine. It is like a power booster for a time when you have anxiety or feel low, fearful, depressed and worrisome, or feel energetically down or have any other lower emotions. You can do it even as a daily morning and night power soul drill.

Do this small exercise taking yourself away to a quiet corner during the day or do it at night before sleeping. Have a sound sleep or get back to your routine if you do this during the day as and when need be.

As you do this prayer and meditation regularly, stay in awareness of your energetic changes. You shall experience the seamless ways in which the Universe works to bring things together. You will realize a metamorphosis in your thinking, your approach and the overall output in your life for anything that you do.

We only need to daily remind ourselves that; when we are integrated, and focused on the journey rather than the anxiety of the procurements, then we can achieve beyond our expected dreams. So hold on to the seat belt and enjoy the ride, while you progress towards your desired terminus of triumph, happiness and success.

“It wasn’t and will never be all perfect. But daily, Divine grace bestows me the strength to make best efforts to perfect my imperfections and be proud of the efforts not the result.”

* PIERUM registered by Roshani Shenazz

Nature’s Role in Mental Resilience

The Noise of Misunderstanding

In today’s world, the discussion around mental health has become increasingly prominent, especially among younger audiences. However, with this increased focus, there’s also a growing concern: the misinterpretation of what mental health and well-being truly mean. Social media, with its overuse of terms like “human right,” “mental health,” and “well-being,” often muddies the waters, leading many of us down a path of confusion rather than clarity. It’s easy to get lost in the noise and lose sight of the essence of these concepts.

Chasing a False Ideal

The Oxford dictionary offers a tidy definition of well-being: “the state of being healthy, happy, or prosperous; physical, psychological, or moral welfare.” But how realistic is it to sustain this state at every moment? The pursuit of constant happiness and prosperity can feel overwhelming, and often, it seems unattainable. This pressure to always be “well” can lead to feelings of inadequacy when we inevitably fall short.

Two years ago, I found myself grappling with this very issue. My then-coach, now CEO, asked me, “Are you ready to walk the path of truth?” At that time, I was entrenched in depression, unsure of what “truth” he was referring to. Was it the secret to success in the ESG market? Or perhaps the uncomfortable reality of our limited control over climate change?

Today, I understand that the “path of truth” is about acceptance—of things as they are and, most importantly, of myself. This journey towards self-acceptance has been challenging, as it is often easier to recognize flaws and strengths in others than in oneself. Yet, this realization has been crucial in abandoning the habit of defining my well-being by external actions and expectations.

Embracing Equanimity and Unlearning

Instead of striving for an impossible state of perpetual well-being, I shifted my focus to building resilience and acceptance. Cultivating equanimity—a state of mental calmness and composure—has become my foundation. This practice, rooted in Vipassana meditation, has taught me to observe my thoughts without judgment, leading to a healthier mindset.

During a period of deep depression, I was consumed by fear and trapped in a cycle of rumination. Negative thoughts had become habitual, making life feel more complicated and overwhelming. The frustration of hurting those around me pushed me to seek change, but breaking free from this mental trap wasn’t easy.

Inspired by Dr. Qing Li’s “Shinrin-yoku” (Forest Bathing), I embarked on a silent retreat in a rainforest treehouse. Over three days, I immersed myself in nature, practicing techniques to calm my mind. The first two days brought an awareness of my pain, anxiety, and depression, but without the pleasure I had hoped for—only a sense of calm.

On the third day, however, something shifted. Meditating by a waterfall in complete silence, I felt a lightness that had eluded me for so long. The negativity lifted, and for the first time, I opened up to my parents about my struggles, breaking a long-held habit of bottling up my emotions.

Reconnecting with Our True Nature

This experience taught me the power of unlearning—shedding old habits and cultivating new, healthier ones. This process is vital for overcoming depression and other mental health challenges. In our chaotic, comparison-driven world, finding silence and space to look inward is essential. The root of many mental health issues lies in systems that create chaos and disconnect us from the natural world, leaving us feeling lost.

To break free from the cycle of mental illness, we must learn to reconnect with nature and, in doing so, reconnect with ourselves. Lasting resilience and well-being are achievable, but they require us to reforge our bond with the natural world and embrace the simple, yet profound, truths it offers.

New Habits, New You!

The Essence of Habits

My friends, I’ve unlocked the essence of truly transforming ourselves through new habits. It’s early 2024, yet the calendar isn’t our boundary for change. The real secret? It’s all about the BITS in HaBITS — those regular behaviors that shape our daily lives.

Positive routines enhance our well-being, but the challenge lies in altering the ‘bad’ habits that hold us back. Our daily rituals impact our mental and physical health. We often end our day fatigued, pledging for a fresh start tomorrow.

Our routine is a cycle: waking up, preparing for the day, and then facing a barrage of decisions — from food choices to exercise, to tackling endless to-dos. These patterns can weigh heavily on us, highlighting the importance of good habits to prevent life from unraveling.

Without positive habits as our foundation, life can quickly become overwhelming. We might resort to less healthy coping mechanisms, like overindulging in junk food, neglecting exercise, or leaning on substances for relaxation. These habits distance us from wholesome activities and simple joys of life, such as enjoying nutritious meals, engaging in fulfilling conversations, and experiencing true contentment.

Breaking Patterns, Making Milestones

For a truly fulfilling life, deeper self-reflection is crucial. Merely repeating the same actions and mindsets, which have lulled us into comfort, will not lead to the growth we desire. We must confront our stagnation. We can’t continue to live out our Peter Pan and Sleeping Beauty Syndromes, wondering why we’re unable to achieve the breakthroughs we desire in our lives.

To truly transform our lives, it’s essential to examine inwardly on what elements of our lifestyle serve us and which don’t. Profound self-inquiry can lead to the actionable steps necessary for change. According to karmic beliefs, we arrive in this world with pre-existing tendencies, shaped by our past experiences over numerous lifetimes, that can influence our present journey either positively or negatively. Recognizing and addressing these inherent habits is key to personal growth and progress.

Observing a child’s disposition, whether assertive or serene, prompts reflection on our lifelong patterns. Understanding our entrenched behaviors, especially those marked by discord, is essential. By examining and resolving these habits, we can liberate ourselves from constant frustration and emotional upheaval, paving the way for a future shaped by peace rather than conflict.

Intentional Change For A New You

To hold true to our essence while changing, we need revisit the small elements — the ‘bits’ — that shape us. This process is gradual, choice-driven, and shapes whether we emerge as renewed beings or simply shed unhelpful traits. Each moment is a step towards a new beginning.

Just as infants do not sprint before they can stand, overcoming habits is a step-by-step journey. It’s about incremental progress, replacing negative patterns with positive ones, like substituting chewing gum for smoking or starting with a walking group before racing. Small, consistent steps can lead to significant transformations.

Real change is rooted in intention, transcending mere willpower. By aligning our mindset to embrace possibilities, we can shape our world through practiced, deliberate actions.

Questions For Change

Here are some juicy questions that will kick start the process of long lasting change and creating new habits.

1. How do you want to be different by the end of this year?
2. In what ways do you want to deepen your experience of life this year?
3. Who do you want to be a year from now?

Consider this: life is fleeting, and every moment counts. Why wait for a new year when you can begin now? A small, consistent shift in your decisions can spark substantial change, often visible in mere weeks, not years. Transformation doesn’t hinge on calendar dates — it starts with a single choice, today.

Begin the journey of self-improvement step by step, and observe as the best version of yourself take shape. Echoing Bruce Lee’s wisdom, “I do not fear the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks. But I do fear the man who has practiced 1 kick 10,000 times.” Initiate a single, focused change today and witness your progress bloom.

The 4 Champion Factors! (Part 2)

(Part 2 of a 2-part article) To read Part 1, please click here.

August 2018 had me watching on TV, the Asian Games, which was held in Jakarta and Palembang in the Indonesian archipelago. My wife asked me, “Why do you follow these Games so closely when you hardly indulge in sports?” My simple answer to her was, “Well, I suppose it’s because I like watching how winners do it.” Watch and learn as the masters would say.

3. Training (& Practice)

Training to me basically involves all the things needed to prepare us to succeed. It is the accumulation of the knowledge and skills needed to succeed in one’s goal. Strategies would also be included, as the hard work of training must come with the smart work of planning.

Within the framework of training is practice. Practice involves repeating the action of which we want to be good at (presumably to achieve a desired outcome), getting feedback, refining the action or course-correcting and doing it again until we reach the point of “perfection” where it leads us the outcome or place we want to be.

Unfortunately for most people, practice is uncomfortable because people are hard-wired to feel lousy about being “not good enough”, “weak” or “a failure”; and practice inevitably forces us to confront our “weaknesses” (unpolished skills, laziness, impatience, indiscipline, negative emotions, etc.) and “failures” (when we practice, we are sure to “fail” during the practice; or else, why practice?).

What makes a champion different from the ordinary person is that the champion is not afraid to be weak and fail, because she knows that whatever weakness or failure she faces at present is only temporary; and she has the self-belief to know that with enough failures and feedback, she refines her actions and will inevitably reach her goal in the end. She knows she has no choice but to succeed when she is committed to learning and improving.

4. Competition

If you look it up, most definitions of competition still say that competition is a contest between different sides for one side to defeat, win or be superior over the others. For me, such definitions are rather limited as we have forgotten that the “competition” is mostly not “out there” but within ourselves.

The old energy of this planet carries the limiting belief that there is “not enough” to go around. An example of such “old age” thinking is found in classical economics which pre-supposes that humankind must compete amongst themselves for scarce resources. This is not the abundance mindset of the New Age.

There’s always competition in the world, but you don’t have to be enemies. You can empower each other. Justine Skye, American singer and model

For me, the point of competition is really not to defeat, win or show one’s superiority but to establish an external point of reference so that the person realizes where she is in comparison with others. This gives her a benchmark to strive harder and be better, and be number one if she so chooses.

For where would No. 1 be, without No. 2 or even no. 3 being in her life? Where would Dina Ashkey-Smith (2018 fastest woman in the world so far in the 100 meters sprint) without her rivals Shaunae Miller-Uibo and Marie-Josee Ta Lou?

I’m not in competition with anybody but myself. My goal is to beat my last performance ~ Celine Dion, singer and performer

Competition is really about winning over the present you, so that you can become a more powerful next-moment you. To have the inner strength and discipline to change whatever’s not working for you to become a winner. It is about constantly becoming a more superior you in every moment.

The mindset and heartset of continually improving greatly empowers not only you, but others who watch you as their reference point, to continually become bigger and better and not just ordinary like the rest. If everyone on Earth is to be so empowered with the constant desire to be better, just imagine where this would take humanity.

Be The Winner!

Look around you, and notice the 4 elements of talent, hard work, practice and competition constantly at work in the daily lives of true champions and winners.

Look within you, and check if you have the 4 elements. Just remember that:

• talent can be in any form, even if its washing dishes (you know what I mean)
• hard work simply requires discipline (and a good relationship with your body)
• practice until you make it; have the self-belief and perseverance to know that you will make it in the end with enough practice. Remember the story of how Thomas Edison did 10,000 experiments before he invented the alkaline storage battery? His retort to a friend who questioned his lack of results, “Results!  Why, man, I have gotten lots of results!  I know several thousand things that won’t work!” … and
• competition is necessary (your biggest competition is you)

The 4 Champion Factors! (Part 1)

(Part 1 of this 2-part article)

I don’t consider myself a great sports fan, but there are two sporting events which I have never missed watching – the Olympics and the FIFA football World Cup. These two are literally massive global events with countries coming together every 4 years to compete on the world stage against other countries for the prize and glory of being champion and showing who is the best.

The recent FIFA World Cup Football, which kept me awake in the wee hours of the morning watching the more important games, got me thinking as to how sport is such a usable model for anything that we want to achieve in life.

Great achievements in the sporting arena are great testimony of how talent, hard work, training and competition, have brought out the best in human potential.

In track endurance/ stamina for example, it was thought a great human achievement when Roger Bannister in 1954 ran the mile in less than 4 minutes (3:59.4) but today’s world record stands at 3:43.13 held by Hicham El Guerrouj.

As for speed/ power, the 100-meter sprint record was done in 10.6 seconds in 1912 by Donald Lippincott, while the current world record of 9.58 seconds (a full 1 second difference) is held by the very gifted Usain Bolt. How much faster can the human being run? One can only imagine.

 

1. Hard Work

Hard work opens doors and shows the world that you are serious about being one of those rare – and special – human beings who use the fullness of their talents to do their very best. Robin S. Sharma, motivational speaker

All successful people owe their success to hard work. Nothing is achieved without hard work. This is perhaps the most important part of achievement.

Hard work is the mid-wife of talent, for should we look around us, we will see that even if a person is talented, such talent cannot be harnessed without work.

Some people dream of success, others wake up and achieve it. Anonymous

And where I excel is ridiculous, sickening, work ethic. You know, while the other guy’s sleeping? I’m working. Will Smith, actor

Hard work builds discipline and the values of the work ethic. It makes our mind, emotions and bodies get used to listening to the “boss” (you) to wake up and take action and take that next step towards getting what is good and worthwhile. Hard work builds our mental, emotional and physical muscles to prepare us for the days when things don’t go our way.

2. Talent

We see obvious talents in many great sports people: Lionel Messi with his pair of magical feet in football (soccer), Yelena Isinbayeva the pole vaulter who has risen to heights of recognition no other woman pole vaulter has done before and Malaysia’s very own Nicol David, 8-time world squash champion.

But have we considered that all of us too have talents which we have not recognized and which we have not discovered? Would Nicol David have discovered her talent with the squash racket if not for her father who groomed her?

Would Lionel Messi have discovered his astonishing gift if not for the influence of his grandmother (yes, his grandmother!) who took him to training and matches when he was a boy?

Could you be a David or a Messi, if only someone had seen that hidden gift and nurtured you in the right environment and given the right encouragement?

Yes, each and every one of us has a talent or gift that we can use to make lives, including our own, better. It is for us to find out what that talent is so that we can live more fulfilling lives. And give ourselves the right environment and encouragement to harness that gift if no one is doing it for us.

To be continued…

Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude

“It’s your attitude and not your aptitude that determines your altitude.” This quote by Zig Ziglar has been playing prominently in my thoughts these past few weeks.

Funnily enough, a participant at a recent training session proved how important attitude is.

More Knowledge, More Possibilities

She knew some of the stuff I was covering, but not all of it. Assuming that what she already had was enough to get by in the world, her attention meandered.

She started to distract those around her by fiddling with her hand phone and insisting on talking to those nearest to her.

What a vast difference from other candidates who had similar knowledge as she did.

The others usually listened carefully. By doing so, they added more depth to their knowledge. “This will help me explain some things to my team,” they explained. There was awareness of how they could utilize the knowledge. A couple understood that the information would be handy when they held supervisory roles.

What You Cannot See

In a couple of training sessions for fresh graduates, I organized short debates. Initially, some were reluctant to take part in them. “That’s something we no longer have to do. After all we’re now working adults.” Though they didn’t verbalize it, their body language said it all.

They changed their stand when I explained that in some instances, people seeking promotions are put through debate-like discussions. And no, this is not something I made up. It’s what I was told by a senior officer. They are also elements of debating that comes in useful in various areas of life.

What if I hadn’t explained it to them? They would have lost out.

Watching them, I realized that attitude matters in all that we do. Even we can’t see the benefits, we should just give it our all.

It’s A Habit

How do you change your attitude? At the top of my list is to watch each and every one of our moves. By this I mean:

Observe Your Thoughts
For instance, does your mind tell you that details are not important? That it’s okay to put off doing something tough for another day? If yes, then you may want to get tough with yourself first!

Watch Your Emotions
It could be very nuanced. E.g. that niggling feeling of impatience when you have to listen to familiar information. Or perhaps you feel you’re an expert on the subject discussed. So you get irritated when someone tries to help you on it.

Note Your Actions
Ahh… this is, of course, refers to groggily turning off alarms in the mornings. Always saying no to challenging projects for fear of failure is another.

I’ve realized I often I start things with great enthusiasm. Over time I lose interest. And bid them sayonara for eternity. Which is why I’m now trying to finish all those half-read books. Time to keep the fire burning bright constantly!

Check Your Energy Barometer
Some only put in a bit of energy into everything they do. Resulting in half-baked results. You would have observed this yourself. The more heart and energy you put in, the more successful the outcome.

Look At Everything Afresh

I’ve got to admit that I’m not the most patient person around.

Like the participant I spoke of earlier, I used to get extremely impatient when forced to listen to something I already know until I observed some senior practitioners.

They were familiar with basic facts and know-how for their respective areas. Yet, they continued to attend basic courses. The mystery of why they did so was cleared up one day.

At each session, they studied nuances of the subject. They explored new areas, delving deep into seemingly easy topics. Dig, dig, and dig deeper.

Their depth of knowledge now is quite amazing. And all from patiently and silently re-examining old knowledge from new angles.

Attitude can make or break us. I may not be able to change my attitude 180 degrees overnight. What I can do and am doing is to take small steps for change in various areas of life.

We Don’t Talk Anymore

I was having lunch alone one day and browsing through my mobile phone. As I was still waiting for my food, I looked around at the decor and people and noticed a couple in their early 50s. What caught my attention was that the couple were not talking to each other.

The female was chewing her food and looking around the café as if searching for something while her partner was eating and looking at his plate. It was indeed a sad scene. It made me wonder what went wrong? I am sure when they were younger, they must have had a lot of things to talk about.

What Is The Real Issue?

Looking at younger couples in the café, they seemed to be having a lot of things to talk about. Seeing them exchanging gestures, laughing and etc. Some were even talking at the same time. Looked like fun.

Coming back to the couple, I was trying to feel what the female must be feeling. Eating with someone and not talking to each other. She was alternating between looking out of the window and looking at decor then back to her plate. Didn’t they have anything to talk about? Where did it go wrong? Were they angry? Was it frustration or was it boredom?

The male acted like he was all by himself. Playing with his food, tossing his fork against his plate. Could he be thinking about leaving the place? Or how long more they were going to take to finish the food? Or could either one of them be thinking about what they were going to do after they left?

Why did this happen? I was certain they were not like that when they first met. I bet they had plenty to share between them. They must have had a lot of things to talk about. Shared jokes or stories, perhaps.

Closing Our Hearts To Hurts

Then I remembered, I used to be in the same situation too.

I remembered I went through that situation too, many years ago. As a result of that experience, I felt hurt and taken for granted. I felt bitter about the whole relationship. Sometimes, women give in too much. When we love our partners whole heartedly, we tend to give them our everything.

When I was hurt, I shut down my feelings. I stopped talking and I felt unimportant and had difficulty communicating with my partner. Even to share stories, events or jokes. Why? Because I felt I was not important to him.

I didn’t feel like sharing myself with someone who didn’t appreciate me. This is a very negative thought because if we focused on these kinds of thoughts then one day they become toxic. That’s how strong the power of heart is.

When our hearts are beating together, we feel so much love and want to share everything. But once betrayed, hurt or even taken for granted, we slowly close our heart. The heart has the biggest electromagnetic field in our body. It so strange when this happened, I could totally ignore or pretend not to hear what he said.

Conquer Your Fear

But of course there are people who still tolerate whatever their partners do. This might be because they are fearful. Fearful of being abandoned. Fearful of not being supported financially. Fearful of their children being taken away from them and there are so many more other reasons. I had fears too. I was afraid not being supported financially as I was not employed.

I can’t imagine what would happened to me if I had not found my way back. I was introduced by my girlfriend, to The Golden Space, a transformative and healing centre. After going through some healings, private sessions and workshops, I finally came out of that fear-based mode. I was able to slowly open my heart again.

I was made to understand that things happened to make me stronger emotionally and physically. To be honest, my heart has not completely opened but it is in the process of doing so. Now I am able to sit with my partner and we can have a good conversation when we are dining especially when it’s just the two of us. Now that our children are grown up and have their own things, we are left on our own most of the time.

It is important to have that understanding of each other. My partner and I now are at a different level of our relationship. We are companions to each other.

Life is too short for us to keep holding on to the grudges and be sad. We end up hurting our body eventually. Learn to accept things that have happened in our lives and slowly try to forgive all the wrong doings to you and others. I know it is easier said then done. But if you put in the intention to do so. Things will be easier. Your readiness and willingness are very important.

I believe if we have peace in our heart, nothing really matters. We can live in harmony and togetherness with anyone.

My sincere advice to couples who have stopped talking to each other, especially with heart issues, to make peace. Please identify what the issue is and work on it. Better to live in harmony rather than dragging yourself through each day of your life. I did it and I am happy. The most important thing for me, is to be at peace with myself. All is well.

6 Ways To Release Grudges:

1. Always look at the good side of this person
2. When you are hurt or angry, cry out to release the emotion but don’t criticize yourself
3. Don’t analyze why the person is hurting you but instead accept that this emotion is part of your test to make you wiser and resilient
4. Always believe that this thing happened comes with good purpose/reason
5. Always believe if this test didn’t come, you will live your life complacently with no purpose
6. Avoid hating the person, because negative emotions create sickness to your body.

5 Ways To Learn Acceptance:

1. To accept the situation positively, will create feelings of peace
2. Learn to meditate or engage in positive creative visualization to prevent the mind from wandering
3. Trusting and loving yourself more, will eventually create peace within
4. This person who triggered you is teaching you to be aware/understand your emotions
5. Loving yourself will also increase the understanding of acceptance

To Smile A Brighter Day

Ever since I started my spiritual journey, I have begun to smile more. And smiling has since become a natural tendency for me. Radiating positivity through a smile on my face!

The Infectious Power of A Smile

Once I was at a restaurant with my son, and there was only one waitress, who was a mute. It was lunch hour and the restaurant was understaffed. Having had to serve quite a few tables, she was obviously “stressed out”. As she finished putting food on our table, I turned to her and smiled.

Her face lit up immediately! As I continued with my “Thank You” she was already grinning from ear to ear. When I saw her next, she was walking with a spring on her steps! A simple smile and a thank you can certainly do wonders.

A Smile Can Melt Hearts

A few months back, I needed a license for an event. Due to other more urgent and pressing matters, I only managed to return to the government office one week later than the stipulated timeframe.

The officer-in-charge was not too happy that I took longer than was required and she raised her voice at me in front of all other applicants. I looked at her and put on my golden smile as she rambled on her displeasure.

My genuine smile must have touched her heart as she mellowed down almost immediately. In the end, she talked to me in such a gentle manner that it was a complete opposite of her initial tone.

Another incident where a smile made all the difference was when I was at a Security Office waiting for my pass to prepare for an event set-up. I was about two hours earlier from the allowed set-up time so the officer was not keen to hand me the pass.
Again, I flashed my golden smile and made my plea. After a few rounds of “Yes ah?”, “Really?”, “Ohhh I see…” , all responses were packaged with a smile, I got my pass.

Negative and Positive Responses

However, in my “smiling experience”, I found out that not everyone is receptive to a smile. Some do not know how to react. Some do not know where to look. Some do not even acknowledge. And some look at me as if I’m crazy!! Luckily, my share of positive responses are way more than negative ones!

I’ve also come to realise that when I smile, it automatically opens up my heart and I drop judgement easily. As I open myself up, I also open up to all possibilities to reach me and I attract more positive outcomes into my life.

It does not cost us anything to smile. So, start smiling from the heart now and begin to attract positivity into your lives immediately!

Use USB Type-L For Relationship Reconnection

L for Love that is. After several years of being together, years of only meeting one another for just a few hours at night, just the two of you alone, you may feel very disconnected from your spouse or long-term partner. Even date nights can become routine. Most magazines out there will tell you to improve your sex life, which is great and all but what about reconnecting in other ways too?

We often don’t share much with one another anymore. We also don’t express our love and gratitude with deep emotion. Even saying “I love you” to one another, can become routine after awhile.

Are you starting to feel confused because you have been feeling lonely lately? Do you spend time wishing you could reverse time, back to the days you couldn’t wait to be together? Do you sometimes use ‘work’ as an excuse to avoid awkward pauses during dinner when you don’t know what to say? Or are you starting to treat your partner like another colleague or housemate?

Try out some of these suggestions, initially all these may seem awkward but over time, it will get easier and your efforts will pay off:

1. Share something special about your day before you go to bed

Ensure that you do it from the heart instead of from the head…i.e instead of “I made RM2000 today”, add in “…and it made me feel….”. It doesn’t have to be something momentous but it has to be something that really means something to you. And really listen when your spouse reflects on what happened to him that day.

2. Thank your spouse for doing whatever he or she does to make your life easier

Share with your spouse what you love about him or her or you can even thank him or her for doing simple things like folding the laundry or ordering in food. It may be something small but it’s something that makes a difference in your day or life. I hate washing clothes so I tell my husband that I appreciate him doing the laundry. My colleague appreciates that his wife always ensures that he has something to eat for dinner, whether she cooks it herself or not. Occasionally close an eye, or two if your partner does some things that you dislike, use unconditional love to keep you going.

3. Start making life decisions that are good for your marriage first then yourselves as individuals

We are used to spending most of our days at work so much so that we often make important decisions that benefit our career first, or that make us more money – for the family, we tell ourselves, but mainly because you want to keep the boss/colleague/client happy. Rarely do we make decisions that are good for the marriage or ourselves as a couple. This may create tension between the two of you, especially if it involves people who in some way threaten your relationship. Make your relationship a priority for once.

4. When you are discussing anything, add humor appropriately and positivity

When you talk about something from a positive perspective or focus on the plus points rather than the negative points, positivity just takes over and affects your behavior towards each other. And serious matters may seem easier to handle. It breaks the dark cloud hanging over the conversation. It makes you feel at one with each other.

5. Go to bed at the same time as much as possible.

When we end the day together, we are sending out the energy that we are partners living a shared life together, therefore we are “closing the day” together. Aim to get in bed together as often as you can even if it’s just to sleep. It’s something special between the two of you as it’s not something that happens with anyone else.

Most importantly though we need to admit that we can’t blame this disconnection on each other, it takes two to clap. Admit that years of prioritizing everything else has taken its toll on your relationship. Take responsibility and agree to move on differently, together.

DIAMOND WITHIN

Potential Vs Perceived Limitations

Potential is only limited by the human perception and the human mind. We all have our own unique potential. You cannot compare yourself to others. Instead, you should focus on building on strengths and improving weaknesses.

Many people blame their situation in life or their predicaments on the perceived limitations they have to live with, such as limited funds, lack of business, insufficient family support, uncooperative colleagues, and so on. However, this perceived human limitation is not the cause of suffering.

Conquer Doubts & Fears

The human thought, the human mind, is the cause of suffering. To achieve your full potential, you need to let go of your doubts and conquer your fears. Everyone, once they remove their doubts and fears, can go very far in life. Then, and only then, can you be all that you can be.

To achieve success, you need to be able to bridge the gap between what you see as a successful outcome, and actually getting there.

5 Habits To Cultivate To Embrace Your Limitless Potential

1. Set Your Priorities

Always do the most important item on the list first each day. Work on completing the items on your priority list every day. Depending on your desired achievement, you can set practical short-term and long-term goals as well.

2. Go For Bite-sized Targets And Goals

Spaced out over a timeline, these are more achievable and more manageable than one super-large and grandiose goal in the distant future. With the achievement of each milestone, you will gain confidence to carry on.

3. Identify Illusions

You need to be able to tell what’s an illusion and what isn’t. An illusion is something you perceive to be the “truth” of the situation, but is in fact incorrect. Reflect on the situation and do your groundwork before you make important decisions. For disagreements, find out both sides of the story, before deciding on your next course of action.

4. Stare Ego Down

When ego gains the upper hand, it will also lead to failure, because you don’t do what you’re supposed to do, but you do what makes your ego feel good. The worst thing to do is to put yourself on a pedestal and think so highly of yourself that you think you do not need to improve or learn anything new anymore.

5. Learn And Then Learn Some More

Aim to learn something new all the time, and make lifelong learning an integral part of your life. In this way, we can always find ways to grow and become better versions of ourselves, day after day, and year after year.

Success Is A Long-Term Affair

Remember, your potential is unlimited. Do not let setbacks and things out of your control that happen color your perception and your life, causing you to give up. Perhaps you need to change your approach or your strategy.

Continue on, with your intuition and conscience as your compass. If you achieve success but you do not feel happy or fulfilled, then you need to re-evaluate your priorities and goals. Did you miss something? Is there something that you need to reflect upon?

What it means to be successful will vary from individual to individual. It could be a job promotion for a worker, or getting returns on investment in a new venture for a businessman, or it could be bringing up children in a balanced and enriching environment for a parent. It could mean so many things to so many people.

But ultimately, the real success you desire will make your heart sing, and bring joy into your life.

KEEP THE FIRE BURNING BRIGHT

It was only a quick glance but it stopped me in my tracks. I’d just caught sight of a photo showing a 92-year old politician climbing up a ladder. The ladder led to the top of the flatbed of a truck, from which this very senior citizen gave a speech.

Amidst concern, awe surfaced in me for this brave individual. What actually drives a person to do things like this – without a care for age and its supposed “limitations”?

The person was of course Malaysia’s re-elected 7^th Prime Minister in year 2020. Much has been said and analyzed about his age, determination and passion to do what he so strongly believes in.

What Awaits In Old Age?

Way before Dr. Mahathir stood for the elections, my old school friends and I used to occasionally discuss ageing. What to do, what to eat, where to stay, and all those associated challenges that come with the advancing years of life. We had vastly differing views.

Let’s examine two common myths many hold about ageing.

Myth 1: The Elderly Don’t Have Active Lifestyles

Everyone in the nature group knew Uncle Yap in those days. He was the fit 70-something photographer you’d see on outings deep in the jungle. Nimbly, he’d climb over huge logs and skip up hills, leaving many panting behind him.

My stories about him usually astounded my ex-schoolmates. All excuses to avoid being active, even up to presently, would vaporize at the mention of this legend of a man. Uncle Yap has even had a flower that he had discovered named after him. Mind you, this happened after his retirement.

Since he was 100% Asian, Uncle Yap certainly squashed the common belief that it is usually the Caucasians who continue to maintain a physically-active lifestyle in their senior years. By the way, there were others above 60 years of age who went on those physically demanding trips too – their passion probably pushing aside all thoughts of limitations which normal folks may have.

Myth 2: Old Brains Can’t Cope With New Info

This one sounds a wee bit strange, even as I read it. However, it’s one of those things that have been discussed in my social media chat groups; which means some people do believe in it although I never did myself.

My father used to rattle off phone numbers even in his early 80s. On the other hand, his old friends couldn’t do that. Heck, even I couldn’t do it! In case you’re wondering, this was of course during the long-ago days of the pre-mobile phone era.

There were times when I suggested the possibility of learning something new or taking up new hobbies to friends, and some would ask me why I bother. “Aiyah! I’m too old for that,” they’d insist.

I’ve mentioned two myths so far, but there are many more out there. After having listened to them all, I’ve come to my own conclusions.

 

Create Your Own World

Never let daunting words about age stop you from doing whatever you want to.

I’d always wanted to learn how to play a musical instrument. During my teenage years, I’d go green with envy as schoolmates learned to play the piano or the violin.

Finally, the middle-aged me decided to give it a shot. Choosing something simple – the ukulele – I signed up for classes. A few eyebrows were raised a wee bit high, making me feel awkward, but I chose to persevere.

Before class, I’d sit in the waiting room. Me with my ukulele, surrounded by amazed primary school kids who looked at me like some strange object of curiosity. Even more amazed were their parents, who were, mmm, obviously younger than yours truly. Occasionally, the mums would reveal how they’d never learned music, and felt they were too old for it. See – it’s just old belief patterns running inside of us.

Anyway, I’d always tell the parents how much I enjoyed my sessions. In fact, one lady almost signed up for classes herself after listening to me rave about my love for my ukulele lessons which I never missed.

I had even taken part in one little concert the music school held. The average age of participants must have been 10 years old. And then there was me!!! I couldn’t stop laughing at that. It was really amusing. I had almost chickened out of taking part in it, but am still glad I did. And the teachers at the music school had always been super encouraging.

Just Do What You Want To Do

I know this much. Never tell yourself that you are going to be old and feeble. Your body is listening. As you’re the master, it will do exactly as you command it to.

And another thing: don’t let work consume you to the point that you don’t have a hobby or something that you’re passionate about. That hobby or passion is the thing that keeps your fire burning bright.

Forget about growing old gracefully. Have fun, have a blast! Make it the most adventurous and memorable days of your life!

TRANSFORM OUR CHILDREN, HEAL THE WORLD
Volume 36

Amy & Dyslexia

One of my client’s daughters, Amy (not her real name), is a bright and curious child, but she struggled with learning difficulties from a young age. Despite her best efforts, she found it difficult to keep up with her classmates in school. As a result, she would often become frustrated and discouraged when she couldn’t understand a lesson or complete an assignment.

Her parents noticed she was having trouble reading and writing, so they sought help. First, they took Amy to see a specialist, who diagnosed her with dyslexia, a learning disorder that affects the ability to read and spell.

The school then referred her to me for coaching. With a clear understanding of her situation and how she felt immense pressure to excel, I tackled her stress levels head-on. Through a systematic approach, I led her to a state of coherence where she could calmly focus on her goals without any undue stress.

As the coaching progressed, Amy was able to apply the same technique when she experienced something new.

What Does A State Of Coherence Give You? A state of coherence is absolutely vital for a balanced and peaceful mind. When you’re in this serene state, your thoughts and emotions are in perfect harmony, and you’re free from the burden of stress, anxiety or fury. Imagine feeling calm and centered, without any distractions or unwanted thoughts clouding your mind. It’s like a blissful oasis where you can relax and let go of all your worries. In this state of inner harmony, your body and mind work together in perfect synchronization, allowing you to fully focus on your goals and aspirations. As a result, you can achieve a heightened sense of clarity and purpose, which can help you make better decisions and achieve greater success in all aspects of your life. So, take a deep breath, center yourself, and experience the beauty and power of coherence.

Amy began to learn strategies for managing her dyslexia.

For example, she learned how to break words down into smaller parts and use visual cues to help her remember the correct spelling of words. She also began to use assistive technology, such as text-to- speech software, to help her read and write. The strategies worked well for her for two years without giving her any stress.

Although Amy continued to face challenges in school, she overcame many difficulties by practicing the techniques of coherence and resilience and getting a lot of support from her parents. Amy also learned to take notes more effectively, study in a way that worked for her, and make friends. Her parents said she started smiling and talking more about the norm of her feelings.

She was awarded two certificates of achievement in school. Together, we have helped Amy deal with her self- coping mechanism with ease. Looking back, she knows she has overcome many obstacles and has the strength and determination to continue doing so.

Despite the difficulties she faced, Amy never gave up. The support of her parents and family gave her confidence. She worked hard and never let her learning difficulties get in the way of her dreams.

In the above example, it is crucial to understand a child who struggles to control their emotions in difficult situations.

By teaching them healthy ways to manage stress and anxiety, such as deep breathing exercises and mindfulness techniques, they can learn to cope with challenges in a more positive way.

Furthermore, by empowering them with problem-solving skills, we can help them overcome obstacles and develop a sense of independence. Witnessing their growth and progress is truly priceless, and we can take pride in knowing that we’ve made a positive impact in their lives.

Jenny & Fear Of Failure

Jenny (not her real name) was introduced to me by a parent; she was a high-achieving student who had always done well in school. However, when it came time for her college entrance exams, she felt dread and fear. Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she would fail.

Jenny’s apprehension about failure was all-consuming, with its impact manifesting in every aspect of her life. Her sleep was disrupted by tossing and turning, and she found herself struggling to eat, her once-healthy appetite now ravaged by anxiety.

Despite her unrelenting efforts to focus, she felt her studies were in vain, causing her to spiral further into distress. This persistent state of unease left her feeling depleted, causing her to lose an alarming amount of weight, slip into a despondent mood, and lose interest in activities that once brought her joy.

As the day of her examination drew near, Jenny’s anxiety escalated to a fever pitch. She was haunted by the nagging thought that failure was inevitable, and this notion hijacked her every thought, leaving her perpetually on edge. She was unable to find solace in sleep or nourishment, and the weight of her future rested heavily on her shoulders. With so much at stake, Jenny’s fears threatened to consume her entirely.

We had an intensive session. From the onset, it was clear that her breath was unsteady and erratic, revealing the deep-rooted trauma she carried within. To help her overcome this, I engaged her in a series of activities designed to ignite her imagination and amplify her inner sense of dignity, strength and poise.

These practices enabled her to tap into a wellspring of power, empowering her to navigate life’s interactions with grace and higher principles. The sessions were immersive and transformative for her. 

And the effects were nothing short of miraculous.

Suddenly, the chaotic patterns that had once ruled her life began to dissipate, making way for new, more positive ones. As she became more stable and confident, her entire outlook began to shift, and the world around her also began to transform.

Previously, Jenny used to feel dazed and foggy, and her hands would shake on exam day. This time it was different; she was scared that she would fail, which was natural, but she somehow experienced a sense of calmness. That day, she managed to finish the exam and submit it.

After the exam, Jenny’s parents called me and told me that their daughter felt much relieved and that she knew she had done her best.

When the results came, Jenny was overjoyed that she had passed the exam with flying colors. She realized that her fear was holding her back and that she was capable of much more than she had previously given herself credit for, and she acknowledged the mentoring sessions for helping her cope.

Jenny’s experience with exam anxiety taught her a valuable lesson: how to cope with the encumbering power of fear. This realization was life-changing for her. She learned that fear can be debilitating but it can be conquered with simple, lifechanging techniques.

Adam & Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is a growing concern among children and teenagers, as technology has made it easier for individuals to harass and harm others online. As a result, one of the most significant challenges parents face is how to help their children.

In the case of my client’s son, Adam (not his real name), the parents took steps to address the issue. First, they documented the bullying by saving any messages, posts, or evidence of the bullying should the need arise, to have the bullying reported to teachers, other parents or on online platforms. They also sought help from a school counselor.

Adam’s situation was dire; it led to bad dreams, bedwetting and tantrums. His parents reached out to me for help.

I used a self-realization technique to help Adam admit that he didn’t have all the answers and help him feel valued, important, and appreciated. We also did an activity that helped him objectively disengage from his issues for a few moments, letting emotions ease off, so he could return to a more objective view.

Thereafter, Adam’s parents said he could conduct himself well, make friends, and even join the football team. Some of his classmates came to apologize to him, and Adam even found a new hobby: rescuing stray kittens and cats with a group of like-minded individuals.

Cyberbullying is a serious issue that affects many children and teenagers. Parents can take steps to help their children cope with it, including documenting the bullying, seeking help from a school counselor, or using self-realization and objective disengagement techniques. With the right support and guidance, children can learn to cope, thrive and overcome its negative effects.

Choosing The Right Integration Program

As parents and educators, it’s our responsibility to provide children and teenagers with opportunities to engage in activities that stimulate their cognitive and emotional growth. This way, they can achieve optimal physical and mental health while reducing the likelihood of experiencing debilitating conditions like anxiety and depression.

In the above real-life cases, innovative teaching methods helped the children cope with learning difficulties and comprehending complex concepts. Positive reinforcement helped them combat the fear of failure and instill a growth mindset, encouraging them to persevere in adversity. And when it comes to cyberbullying, they are empowered with tools to protect themselves online and build resilience.

To achieve this, we need to identify the perfect integration program that empowers individuals to easily navigate life’s challenges while improving their overall well-being. A program that teaches inner balance and harmony can create a positive ripple effect, contributing to a more peaceful and harmonious society.

Luckily, all these programs aren’t limited to children. Adults can also significantly benefit from them. Imagine participating in a program that helps you become the best version of yourself.

With the right integration program, you can achieve the personal growth, emotional stability and mental clarity to help you navigate life with confidence and grace.

Dealing With Communication & Oppositional Behavior In School

As a practitioner who works closely with children and teenagers, I’ve had the privilege of observing their learning experiences and their parents’ concerns regarding their education. For example, I’ve seen:

1. many young individuals feel disenchanted with school, lack enthusiasm for their subjects, or even feel more knowledgeable than their teachers, and
2. children struggle with communication and oppositional behavior, making it difficult for them to engage with their parents and teachers. They may feel bored, misunderstood, or ignored, leading to a negative attitude toward school and education.

Achieving Objectivity & Resolving Issues Using The Cut-Through Technique . ‘Replacing Impatience with Patience, Humility Practices and Exercise: Compassionate Latitude’ I’ve found this to be an effective technique to tackle the learning challenges mentioned above. By encouraging parents and children to participate in these sessions, we’ve been able to cultivate deeper connections and mutual respect, enabling them to work together toward a positive outcome. In these sessions, we explore techniques that help children develop a greater sense of patience and humility in their learning experience. Through exercises that promote compassionate latitude, children are empowered to take ownership of their education, and parents learn how to support and encourage their child’s growth. Overall, the benefits of this technique have been profound, enabling parents and children to work through their issues and build a stronger, more positive relationship that supports their academic success.

I BELIEVED I COULD SPEAK

There were times in life when I knew the right answers but I was tongue tied.

Much later in life I realized why.

I’m the youngest of five children in an extremely traditional family. You know that saying, “Children are meant to be seen, not heard”? That was drummed into me every single moment in my young life.

Don’t contradict my parents. Or elder siblings. Or anyone who walks into the house. Those were the rules I had to abide by.

Growing up, it felt that everything I said was either wrong or had no merit. That was the drama that I went through.

Speaking Up

As a young adult, I thought I had let go of all of that. I told myself that I knew my stuff, and nothing would get in my way. I was ready to take on the world!

Thing is, the unconscious mind has a funny hold on us. As does our body cells. The old conditioning remained buried under layers and layers of other experiences and beliefs.

One of the things I gained after I had started my spiritual journey was more awareness and understanding of my thoughts, actions and behavior.

I noticed that though inside of me I had ideas and knew ways to solve issues, I could not say them out allowed. Worse, some individuals just had to murmur their disagreement and I would shut up for good. That’s when I started to observe when and why these took place. It turned out to be a combination of reasons.

In some cases, I was not speaking up because I:

• felt I had to play nice
• feared the person would punish me
• was reminded of my parents or siblings when I looked at the other person(s)
• dreaded the thought of long-term fights if I voiced my thoughts
• worried that others would gang up on me or abandon me
• felt that what I had to say may be wrong, making me look like a failure

Looking back on my working life, there was a place that I worked at where my boss was an elderly gentleman who reminded me of my father. I dared not contradict him 100% and never stood up for myself. No matter how irrational he was, I could never disagree with him. That’s how deep the conditioning was.

The good news is that it is possible to overcome this fear of speaking up. Here are some ways to do it.

1. Watch Shows Like Shark Tank

The sharks are successful people in the business world. They’ve each got their own way and beliefs on how you can succeed in the business world. If you’ve never watched this American show, check it out.

Observe how they sometimes offer different solutions to one problem. Despite other sharks or even proven facts disagreeing with them, they stick to their guns. That’s true faith in themselves. Something that you need to speak up.

Hats off, especially to the female sharks (usually one or two out of five of them) who don’t let the male sharks rattle them.

It was a good reminder that all roads lead to Rome. Remember this the next time Ms Know-It-All tries to stare you down.

Don’t let her booming voice and alpha male confidence make you feel small. And by the way, people who do this usually have their own internal struggles going on. Ideally, this is when we practice compassion and patience.

At the same time, please don’t shut out other people’s views. There may be a gem or two there. Just understand that we live in an age where we don’t always have to comply with the old Asian niceties or manners.

Politely ask the person with strong views thousands of questions. Not to frazzle them but to understand their views further. Then challenge her if you have to. This was usually the part where my old conditioning would yell at me.

My cells would remind me to play nice and that disagreement was wrong. For my parents, disagreeing meant I was being disrespectful. My cells contained all of these old memories which I eventually pulled out.

2. Acknowledge My Worth

Often in the past, I had undervalued my input.

In university, there was this group discussion where I put my idea across. With a smirk, the group leader loudly pooh-poohed my idea. BUT, when time came to presentation to the whole class, he shared my idea. In fact, he made it seem like it was his own idea! I sat there dumbfounded.

Little did I know then, that that’s a common scenario in the working world.

I did not confront him then or later for taking credit for my idea. Nor did I make it clear to the class that it was my idea.

As I moved on in life, I learnt from stronger individuals that there were many ways to tactfully take ownership of my ideas on the spot. But you see, that would have required self-worth, which I did not have much of then.

Building up self-worth is possible.

In the early stages, I kept a folder with all my achievements. This included when the Art Director praised my copywriting skills, when my training participants praised my fun sessions, when clients asked what other sessions I conducted, etc.

Each time my self-worth plunged, I would take out the folder.

Today, when I do something right, I give myself a pat on the back. It can be something small or a major achievement. I celebrate it all and give myself the credit I deserve.

I no longer wait for the outside world to approve me, my work or my life.

3. Work With My Body

Previously, when I tried to muster up the courage to speak, my body would take over. My cells would tremble and feel most uncomfortable.

Even if the mind had entered the room determined to speak, the body would spring into action. To stop me from speaking, it would scream, “NO! Take flight or freeze! Do anything but don’t open your mouth!”

You see, my cells contained the past. The past painful experiences and conditioning. I worked hard to release many of these using the various healing tools that I had picked up. It was an enriching process. With each session, a layer would come up including wounds from this lifetime and others. I healed and let go of many of them, for they no longer serve me.

If you should feel your body freezing when you need to speak, try taking deep breaths. Ask your cells what is going on. And release whatever that comes up. This should help you for starters.

Watch out though. When you feel that you have finally got the nerve to speak up, the universe may test you. If you don’t succeed, don’t worry. Keep building up your self-worth and confidence, whilst also releasing the past conditionings. Never give up.

Junior

It was the year 2017, and at 30 years old, I received a positive pregnancy test. We have been happily married since 2013 and never intended to be pregnant as we wanted to travel around the world and enjoy each other’s company without family commitment. But when the positive pregnancy test returned, we were overjoyed and welcomed the journey.

We had heard many stories of young parents dealing with sleepless nights, stress, and financial challenges while raising their children, and we were undoubtedly unprepared.

I didn’t know I was pregnant initially. It was during Chinese New Year, and we were outstation with the family. The slightest clue at that time was implantation bleeding; it was very light and pinkish, which I passed off as menstrual then as I was due.

I did a test when we were back in Kuala Lumpur a week later, after which my “then menstrual” wasn’t the usual flow. After confirming the positive test result at a local General Practitioner, I returned to my routine. I didn’t eat well as I was having morning sickness, wasn’t on any supplements, and was relatively chill, thinking everything would be okay.

Unfortunately, when it was time to do the 10-week screening, I lost my baby because “no heartbeat” was detected.

First-trimester losses are very common, as we all know. I then had a dilation and curettage (D&C) done to remove the embryo. As it was still early in the pregnancy, it wasn’t too bad then, and I knew I would be pregnant again soon. So I started a journal and pasted my ultrasound photos, naming my baby Junior as I talked about my grief.

Cassandra

The pregnancy adventure continued in mid-2018 when I was pregnant once more at 31 years old. But, this time, I was feeling paranoid, albeit more prepared. I scheduled a visit to Maternal Fetal Specialist, did all the tests, diligently ate, rested, and prayed that all would be well.

However, I started leaking at 19 weeks. I rushed to the hospital and was told I had a short cervix. It is unfortunate that this condition, which could cause premature birth and infant death, is only detectable during the second trimester.

The doctors told me to terminate the pregnancy, but my maternal instinct told me no. Just a few weeks ago, I was showing off my baby bump and meeting friends who were so happy for me.

The chance of the pregnancy surviving until prematurity is 30%. The thought of losing my baby was surreal, as I didn’t anticipate this unfortunate predicament. So against the doctors’ wishes, I went for an emergency stitch to close the cervix, which was already dilating at 3 cm. I was on bed rest in the hospital for three weeks before I started developing infections and my water broke.

My baby girl was born at 21 weeks old, weighing only 350 grams. She didn’t last more than a few minutes, and I didn’t hold her, as I wasn’t in the right frame of mind and was feeling so hurt. We let the hospital handled all the necessary arrangements.

My world was crushed, and I felt like dying. We named her Cassandra Lee and acknowledged her as our first angel daughter, who was gone too soon.

In accordance with my family’s wishes, there were no prayers or funeral rites, but we mourn her death. After losing Cassandra, life was never the same for me, my husband, and my parents. We were all so devastated and distraught.

I retreated into a shell, unfollowed all who had or were going to have babies, avoided all family and kids’ events and activities, and stayed away.

I consulted a grief therapist who helped me emotionally, picked up some light yoga exercises, and tried to keep myself occupied. I broke down many times and went into depression as I couldn’t accept what had happened and was jealous of people around me who had kids.

Joachim

About seven months after the loss of Cassandra, we became pregnant again in mid-2019. The same procedure kicked in — visits to the gynecologist, troubleshoot of the cervix, and more medications. A pessary was inserted at Week 13 this time, with the hope that it would work.

But as fate turned out, we also lost our baby boy, Joachim Lee. He was born on Christmas Day, weighed 450 grams, and was at 22 weeks.

I was shocked and too distraught to hold him. Joachim lasted two hours in his daddy’s arms while I recuperated in the operating theater. My heart was severely crushed this round because there was so much hope and expectation for his arrival.

Scientifically, we knew that the medical treatment didn’t work for us and that we needed to put in more effort for the next round. Emotionally, we were hoping that we could have made it to at least 24 weeks and 600 grams, where the chances for survival would be higher for infants born prematurely.

This time, I accepted that it was not my turn to be a momma and grew closer to the Creator. I attended grief therapy and several rounds of meditation while also continuing to search for medical treatment with a positive mindset.

We found a specialist who deals with recurrent miscarriages and high-risk pregnancies. It was 2020, and the pandemic happened. Everything was uncertain but we remained optimistic and in late 2020, I underwent a procedure to clean up my uterus, remove a few polyps, etc.

New Hope

In February 2021, we became pregnant. This time, we monitored closely; I had a cervical cerclage placed at 15 weeks, battled a few infections, and breezed through the second trimester. My doctors were good as they were experienced in this cervix issue, advised on supplements, controlled my sugar, etc. I made it through the final week of the second trimester, finally!

At my 23-week checkup, the doctor noticed that my water bag was funneling down, and I was immediately admitted for bedrest with close monitoring.

It was the height of the pandemic, and I was alone in my hospital room; I had to lie down 98% of the time as I couldn’t pressure the cervix even though a stitch was already in place. My doctor visited me daily to check on me and give me moral support.

My husband visited once a week and gave me my weekly showers, and the three-hour weekly visit was something that I looked forward to. I spent my days in the room: reading, doing some work, watching Netflix, and resting. The days became weeks, and my confidence grew as I passed the 25th, 27th, and finally, the 28th week.

Everything was going well, and the plan was to remove the stitch between 34 to 36 weeks for a normal birth. Of course, my doctor didn’t condone bed rest, but we did all we could given the situation. I went to great lengths to wear embolism stockings to prevent blood clots; I even wore a maternity belt to avoid pressure on the cervix, drank Cranberry juice to prevent infection, and so on.

Baby’s Coming!

It was a Friday night, August 13, 2021, 50 days into bed rest. I was about to sleep when I noticed that I was leaking. I called the nurse, and I was emitting a yellow discharge. The doctor was called, and I was told I had an infection that required the baby to be induced.

With the baby being nearly 30 weeks old and weighing 1.4 kg, the survival rate was 85%, and I was reassured that everything would be fine. I was given medication and injections to mature the baby’s lungs and prevent brain bleeding.

I was briefed on the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) procedure and estimated charges, depending on the baby’s situation. At this point, I was all out to save the baby and willing to use my entire savings for her NICU bill. On the morning of August 14, 2021, hubby rushed over to undergo a COVID test, as required by the hospital, in order to be my stay-in companion during birth.

My Rainbow Baby

At 7.30 p.m. on August 14, 2021, Abigail Lee Yi Wen, weighing 1.3 kg, was born through normal vaginal delivery. She came out crying and was placed on me for 10 seconds before being whisked into the NICU. My rainbow baby came at last.

The NICU team and Ward 2A of Sunway Hospital was like my second home as I traveled daily and went through roadblocks during the Movement Control Order to bring her pumped milk and to do “kangaroo care” with her for three to four hours each time. Abigail was in the NICU for 50 days. Not a single day goes by that I fail to call the NICU twice to check on her, even after visiting her.

Abigail graduated from the NICU at 2.3 kg. The day we brought her home was such a blessing, as it was a dream come true for me; to hold and have a baby at home, where we will grow with her.

The months passed with so much precaution and care as she was a preemie. So no visitations were allowed except for immediate family members. Neither did I dine out or go out much, as it was during the COVID pandemic. As a parent, you want only the best for your kid, and you will do anything to ensure their safety and health.

Fast forward to today, and I am happy that Abigail is a thriving and strong 17-month-old without any prematurity complications. I’d like to express my gratitude to the following for this successful journey:

• Dr Patrick of Aseana Pregnancy
• Dr Vijayan of Aseana Pregnancy
• Dr Janani of Sunway Medical
• Ward 2A Nurses of Sunway Medical
• NICU team of Sunway Medical
• Dr Cheong Shu Meng of Sunway Medical
• Husband, Bernard Lee
• Parents, sister and family members
• Friends, colleagues and superiors at work
• Dr Edmund and Pauline, Grief Therapist

RECOGNIZING THE “ME” IN “WOMEN”

I was recently invited to join the Board of Directors of a company owned by a Muslim organization in Singapore. When I showed up at the first Board meeting, what struck me was that I was the only woman board member. Moreover, nearly everyone else was Malay-Muslim (I am Chinese), much older than me, and clearly already knew one another beforehand!

It was an interesting dynamic. From being part of the majority Chinese race in Singapore, I was now both a racial AND gender minority in this group. I wondered if I would be able to stand my ground and make a productive contribution during meetings, or whether I would be bulldozed over by the men.

I know that many women will relate to this. Despite the advances that women have made in the last half-century, positions of power in society are still overwhelmingly dominated by men. Women continue to face more challenges than men in being seen, heard, respected, and leaving their impact on the world.

Surround Yourself With Supportive & Respectful Men

The biggest thing that I am grateful for is that the men I work with are extremely supportive and respectful of women. They actively make space for my opinions and views. When I speak and if the men happen to be having a rowdy conversation, the Chairperson will sometimes ask the other members to shush and listen. And they always do, once they realize I have started to speak.

The lesson: Choose to surround yourself with men who will respect and honor your voice. Once you have the experience of being honored and respected, you will be able to recognize other men who will treat you with honor and respect, and you will have it in your vibration to be able to attract them as partners, colleagues, and friends.

Own Your Own Value & Authority

One of the first thoughts I had when I met the rest of the Board was literally, “Oh my gosh, they are much older and way more qualified than me!” And the underlying fear, “Do I really have anything valuable to contribute?”

This fear soon proved unfounded, as I realized that each member was contributing in his (and her) unique way. I might have a lot to say about strategy, whereas someone else would be an expert on HR, and another person might share a powerful personal experience that shifts the meeting’s perspective on an important question. We would take turns to chime in at different points during the discussion, and there was always value in what everyone said.

The lesson: You are the authority of your own experience, skills and gifts. Own your authority and contribute what you have in good faith, whether it’s a technical expertise, a positive energy, or even a personal experience that could be useful for others.

As two people are never alike, there is always something you will have that other people do not, and vice versa, even if everyone else ‘appears’ to be bigger, better, smarter, etc. Know and value yourself, and people will want you for sure on their team.

Include Yourself In The Group

A friend of mine once asked me, “Do you feel excluded by the rest of the board when they start speaking in Malay in front of you”?

I pondered for a while then eventually answered, “Not really. As long as I sense positive vibes, I do not feel excluded even if they are speaking in Malay.”

Upon further reflection, I realized another reason why I feel included is that I make an effort to show up and include myself in the group. If the men are speaking in Malay and I don’t get it, I ask what it is about, and one person will usually take the time to explain it to me. Once I did this often enough, the men started being more sensitive and someone would usually take the initiative to translate for me if the discussion lapsed into Malay.

The lesson: Inclusion can be as much an internal state of mind as an external invitation to be part of a group. One can show up at a meeting and feel out of place even if the rest of the group is warm and inviting. Do not exclude yourself from even before others exclude you! Start showing up, including yourself, ask to be included, and others will eventually include you, even in a male-dominated group.

Rebalancing The Energies

We are all part of a global rebalancing of masculine-feminine energies on Earth. As you journey on this human experience as a woman, you will encounter more and more situations where you are called to step into your full voice, power and impact. Play with the tips above, cherish your experiences, and here’s to celebrating your innately powerful feminine Self!

LOVE IS MORE THAN AN EMOTION

“Love is blind”, goes that old saying. I can only nod in agreement as a thought crosses my mind – you would have to be when it comes to families.

So what is love when it comes to family members? We already know it’s not always like those feel-good movies where everything is always a laugh or ends rosy. Well, I believe that:

• Love is not wanting to constantly change others

With those your age, or older, forget about them constantly conforming to your ideas of what’s right or wrong. You think you’re always right, don’t you? So do I. And so do they.

We all see the world through our own special glasses. These are made up of our own experiences and bias.

There’s this family quote that goes, “Parents were the only ones obligated to love you; from the rest of the world you had to earn it,” by Ann Brashares.

I’m going to change that “Parents” in the quote to “Family”. Simply because it’s true.

I’m learning to accept family for who they are. Well, most of the time, anyway. This doesn’t mean that I don’t stand up for myself. On the contrary. Love yourself and them enough to do what’s right at the right time.

• Love is releasing all expectations

Let’s move on to younger family members.

At one time, I used to be fairly strict with some of my nieces and nephews. I expected them to behave in a certain way and was way too generous with unnecessary advice.

Imposing too many expectations stresses family members out. And it certainly doesn’t improve relationships with them. Trust me, I learnt that the hard way.

Instead, let them be who they are. Love them enough to allow them to experiment. They’ll come to you if they really need help.

• Love means always being there

No matter what happens, if there’s a problem, you need to do what you can to help family. Preferably without the “I told you so” statements. Well, not at the point of crisis anyway!

My family was there for me when I went through two surgeries. Even though it was my own negligence and emotions that had created both of them. And I hadn’t been the most wonderful person 24/7 to them either.

Loving your family isn’t just confined to an emotion. Your thoughts and actions come into play too. What’s your definition of family love? How do you love your family?

Family Love Quotes “In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.” ~ Eva Burrows “Families are the compass that guides us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.” ~ Brad Henry

CHOOSING TO BE HAPPY

“If I see him again, I’ll do or say something to hit back. His words hurt me,” declared a 13-year old boy.

An incident that happened 3 years ago remained fresh in his memory. “But don’t you think he was acting immaturely at that time when he uttered something bad about your parents?” I said to him.

“I can’t forget and I won’t forgive him,” he replied.

Releasing The Hurt

We all have a choice. It’s a freedom the “force from above” has given us. When we say CAN’T, it’s an inner struggle with the self that we need to release from our system. That’s the way to keep bitterness away.

Reflecting on the situation, I posed the following question to a 14-year old boy. “If someone hurt you very deeply through their action or words, would you join him in activities you enjoy when he invited you to do so?”

“Err… I don’t know. I guess I will. Someday,” he said.

“Like when?” I asked.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to say,” he replied.

“After a few months?”

“Maybe.”

The evergreen adage “time heals” holds true here.

The hurt will lessen with time and if we focus on the good things about the person, the very action or words that caused the hurt does not matter anymore. We are then free to like and care again. And have the chance to be happy.

Don’t you think it weighs us down to “hate” someone? Isn’t it better to let go of holding on to the “grudge baggage”?

On the other hand, WON’T is a decision we make consciously or sub-consciously to never let go of that “hurt” feeling, as we want to cling on to it. In the case of the 14- year old guy, he can’t forget what was said about his parents.

When we don’t make any effort to try to release the “hurt”, it festers in our heart. Soon, it takes control of our actions and thoughts. When we see the person who caused the hurt, the “hurt control” takes hold of us. Eventually, it becomes a “game” to carry out vengeful acts. As the saying goes, “hurt people hurt others”.

Choose To Control The HURT Let’s aim to end the “game” by doing the following: Letting Go Most of the time, like in a game, we keep score. If you hurt me once, I will hurt you twice. If you hurt me some more, I will get back at you even more. Choose to let go. Keep score instead of how many times you’ve been blessed with the friendship or what good the person has done. Choose to see the hurt in the other person that has caused him to hurt you. Choose to remember no more. It “ain’t easy”, but just give it a try and the easier it will get. Forgiving To err is human, to forgive is divine. Forgive doesn’t mean that I agree with that action. Rather, it’s saying that I choose to have a happier life without the need to remember the past that hurt me. Have you noticed how children play with each other? One moment they could be fighting like cats and dogs. But once the moment has passed, they are back to being friends again. It’s sometimes good to be reminded to have a simple mind like a child; carefree and happy. Engage A “Force From Above” In the movie Troll, Princess Poppy initially set out alone on a quest to save her captured friends from troll-eating, “Bergens”. She succeeded in the end with the help of pessimistic Branch. We all need help. Especially when it comes to inner struggle. And that’s where the “force from above” comes in handy. When we can’t or won’t let go, it’s time to call upon divine help. My “force from above” is a God (yours could be different) who loves unconditionally and has graciously forgiven me. Because of this love and grace, I can in turn show people that I too can practice forgiveness. As I like to say, “It’s cool to forgive!”

That person that said those hurtful words has since repented and is much more mature now. He wants to be friends with the other person. Somehow, previously it wasn’t possible since forgiveness hadn’t been granted. Time indeed has been the healer.

Gone are the vengeful thoughts. He has come to accept the fact that what was said was unintentional and on the spur of the moment. He’s now happier without thoughts of getting even. May the “force from above” bring total healing to him. Then, we all can go for our “sundae chocolate”! Now, isn’t that a happy feeling?

ROLLING WITH LIMITLESS POSSIBILITIES

Sometimes, when we embark on a project, there’s a stage where we feel stuck and unable to move forward. Or perhaps find a solution to a problem.

Many will give up and some will go for a walk or take some time out, at least for a while. Perhaps it is because there is too much in our heads, making it difficult to focus, or the ideas and solutions get muddled up with each other.

Often, we just have too much to do or are doing too much at the same time and can’t think clearly.

Multitasking Cuts Down On Efficiency

Could it also be because our brain capacity is limited and is only capable of doing one specific task at one time?

Scientists, in general, say that multitasking affects your performance. Multitasking reduces your efficiency and performance because your brain can only focus on one thing at a time.

Doing two things at once translates into your brain lacking the capacity to perform both tasks successfully. It works a little better if one task is so automatic that you can put more of your focus on the other task. Like driving and listening to music.

Researchers at the University of London have discovered something shockingly remarkable – multitasking lowers your IQ level. For example, the average male adult’s IQ is reduced to that of an 8 year old!

However, the stubborn human mind believes that by multi-tasking we can increase the amount of work we do. But perhaps this is a matter of satisfying our Ego.

So, how can we actually increase our body’s capacity of handling tasks? Or sort out ideas so we can see a clear solution to the problem, or even come up with different alternatives in the first place?

Steps To Get The Ball (Or Ideas/Solutions) Rolling

Read through before starting the exercise below:

1. Start by finding a quiet place for meditation or contemplation. Sit quietly with your eyes closed.
2. Breathe deeply in and out. Relax by imagining glorious white light coming in through the top of your head as you breathe in. Allow worries and anxiety to flow out with each breath that leaves you.
3. Reflect on what you would need to get yourself moving forward. When you have your answer, look at the suggestions below and pick the relevant choice.

If you can’t seem to see the alternative solutions to the issue, here’s what you can do. Imagine yourself sitting within a sphere. It has a smooth curved surface that contains all 360 degrees of possibilities or choices within a three dimensional space. It has a center point. From there, all the choices that all the directions bring can be seen. The sphere “gets the ball rolling”, so it’s a good shape to use to ensure a smooth transition for an idea or belief. When choices seem to be limited, the sphere aids in creating a more balanced outcome. Enhance your limitless potential by calling or adding in colors. If you’re feeling stuck and there’s a sense of heaviness, spend a few minutes within a red sphere to create activity and stimulate unlimited action. Should you feel the need for change and need your choices to gel together with the least resistance, use an orange sphere. Lack of clarity can be healed with the color yellow so a yellow sphere can help enhance intuition as well as logical and analytical decisions. If you are being affected by a specific situation that is out of your control, in different ways or different aspects, you might require a green sphere. Call upon a blue sphere if you need to express yourself, communicate and get the message across in creative ways. Purple spheres encourage wise and psychic choices. A white sphere enhances your connection with the Divine in 360 degrees.

4. Listen to your intuition. If you are feeling more confident and energized, you can open your eyes and stretch your body. Go back to your work or continue another day.

Do the meditation once a day until you feel confident to make a decision, to take action or move forward and complete your task or project.

NEW YEAR SPECIAL

WORLDLY GOALS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY

How Do You Feel About Your Goals?

Achieving goals and manifesting desires have always been hot topics.

We often create intentionally by putting time, energy and our hearts into a particular goal. By the way, whether you like it or not, you are also constantly creating unintentionally.

For now, let’s take a closer look at those goals and dreams that we set. Here’s my first question to you — how do you feel once you’ve achieved your goals? These may have been tough and they may have taken ages to achieve.

Do you feel ecstatic, joyful, happy and satisfied? Or is it usually a feeling of disappointment, a letdown and lack of satisfaction? Or don’t you feel anything at all?

Sometimes, when I congratulate friends on their successes, they shrug their shoulders. Owning a lucrative company that they had dreamt of in younger days seems to no longer mean much. Their “It’s no big deal,” accompanied by rather depressing energy says a lot.

Likewise, some return from much awaited holidays feeling a tad disappointed. Despite the stunning photos on social media, it wasn’t totally a magical experience.

Then there are more “serious” examples. You would have met people who tell you they want to be married by a certain age. The starry-eyed starts occasionally finish with moans about being with the wrong partner. You can’t but help feel for them.

The question would then be — how do you come up with meaningful goals? How do you ensure that your creation resonates with you? Not just with your worldly needs, but also with your soul.

Is This Really What You Want?

Let’s look at one area in life – work. Over the years, I’ve worked on countless projects as I explore and expand on my skill sets. From editing, writing, organizing events, media work, training and finally to energy healing. 

Given the wide range of things I’ve dabbled in, here’s the one thing that I can tell you with 100% certainty.

You may take something on because it will look good on your resume. Or because it brings in big bucks. Or it allows you to hobnob with the who’s who in the industry. The fact is that only some projects will make you smile.

When the project/goal/dream is right for you, your body cells burst with excitement. Ideas flow in effortlessly from all directions. People walk in with offers to help. The Universe is clearly on your side.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that it will be a walk in the park. Happy farmers still have to sweat it out under the blazing sun. It’s just that even if that project doesn’t win you an award, you will do it willingly, without having anyone cajoling you. That is how inspired you would be.

5 SIGNS OF HAPPY GOALS

Take a look at the list below. It’ll give you a clear picture of what to look out for.

1. Smile When someone asks you about your goal, you smile. Your body is  relaxed and breathing is even. You’re eager to talk about it. Sometimes a little too much! 2. Constant Attention That goal is always on your mind. Instead of dreading it, you’re looking forwarding to working on it. There’re constant thoughts on making it a fantastic success. Which is why you attend workshops, purchase books and surf the net. 3. 100% Heart Remember days when your parent had to drag you out of bed for school? None of that’ll be necessary for a heart-centered goal. You’ll be pouring yourself into the project 100%. Willingly, that is. 4. Laser-sharp Focus Whilst working on your project, your mind will be focused totally on it. Other thoughts will not sneak in. Plus, you would not be multi-tasking. No thinking of what to have for lunch. No planning long getaways. Your life may not depend on achieving your goal, but that’s the way your mind will work. 5. Sheer Satisfaction Once the project is done, there’s a combination of feelings. Joy, satisfaction, happiness and more. Even if there is no payment for it, you’d be high-fiving everyone around you and grinning away.

And now, you may be asking how to set the right goal. How to identify something that makes your heart sing?

For me, I discovered some of them by trusting my instincts. For instance, growing up, I was always attracted to photography. But I never had the opportunity to try it. Finally as an adult, I got my own camera. I was hooked. Even on hot days outdoors, I’d feel happy clicking away.

Other suitable goals were discovered because I was brave enough to take risks. Initially the goal itself didn’t sound like my cup of tea. Yet, I chose to dash out of the comfort zone, with the help of many supportive individuals.

Once I got into the swing of things, I discovered how much I enjoyed them. Even I was surprised! What am I talking about? Well, that’s basically how I meandered into the world of energy healing.

Start setting goals that resonate with your soul. You’ll be so much the better for it. There’ll be planting a piece of heaven in your heart.

EXPANDING BY DEEPENING… LIKE THE WHALES

Whales have taught me a thing or two. I have found that I understand myself better when I meet myself in the depths of silent observation.

“Highly aware people speak of ‘growing’, and they look for an expansion of their life and vision. Rarely do you hear about ‘deepening’, and yet this is an equally important process in which you become a more complex, more engaged person” – Thomas Moore, “Care of The Soul”

The Silent Journey Into The Depths

When I remember this Thomas Moore quote, I imagine whales diving deep into the oceans.

I then see myself dive deep into the awareness of my body, listening to what my body tells me about me. In doing so, I meet myself, and get to know who I am – that cantankerous me; that stubborn me; that lovable me; that child-like me; that silly me; that impatient me.

I silent myself and listen… checking in with my bodily sensations, my thoughts, and my emotions. And I watch these activities, without judgment.

How To Deepen Your Vision Of You

If you’d like, you too can deepen your understanding of your life. With understanding comes clarity, resolution and mastery.

How do you “deepen” so that you see yourself more clearly?

• Constantly reflect on the deeper meaning of what you experience. For example, what is your most difficult relationship telling you about what you need to change?
• Connect with the breath, and the body, to gain access to your inner wisdom.
• Go into the silence within; trust you have the answers inside.
• Listen to your body, your organs and your cells as they can guide you towards what’s best for you.
• Learn to observe the events of our life symbolically, act detachedly and not take unhappy events personally.
• Develop the habit to investigate your thoughts, beliefs and emotions, and not jump to conclusions too quickly without proper contemplation.
• Face your fears and work through them, instead of numbing and hiding them through addictions such as food, alcohol or drugs.
• Release judgment and practice forgiving.
• Know that despite whatever negative emotions you are caught in, you can always choose a happier, joyful thought.
• Engage with the creative force within, and express it through your work, music, art and your daily life.

SMASHING THE 8 MYTHS OF HYPNOTHERAPY
Volume 35

What Hypnotherapy Is

Hypnotherapy may seem like one of those new age healing modalities but it is, in fact, backed by science and has proven helpful in many areas of life.

Hypnotherapy is actually a type of psychotherapy. Clinical hypnotherapy can treat phobias, addictions, relationship issues, work issues, sleep difficulties, anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), grief, obesity, unwanted habits and a host of other emotional issues.

In addition, hypnosis and hypnotherapy can increase motivation; many athletes use hypnosis to improve sporting performance.

Hypnotic Induction

Hypnotherapy is a kind of mind body medicine, and it uses the tool of hypnosis to induce deep relaxation and deep concentration to create change. A skilled and qualified hypnotherapist uses verbal cues, repetition and imagery to induce this deep state of focus and relaxation called a trance state. The process of inducing a trance state is called hypnotic induction.

When in a trance state, the subject is at a very deep level of focus and concentration, which enables them to block out common distractions and become more receptive to ideas, suggestions, etc. In other words, the subject becomes more ready and receptive to change whilst in a trance state.

For example, the subject may be given a suggestion to make adjustments that can improve their mental well-being. At times, the therapist may get the subject to modify or change a negative memory or trauma in the subconscious mind. Healing occurs when the subject starts to interpret situations, feelings, or events from the past differently because of this “change” in consciousness.

THE 8 Common Myths

What Hypnotherapy Is Not

Hypnotherapy is systematic and safe but a majority of people still fear the process. “There are numerous myths regarding hypnosis, most of which come from media presentations.” says Irving Kirsch, a lecturer, head of the Program in Placebo Studies at Harvard Medical School. Such media include fictional films, books and the like.

1. Hypnosis isn’t real. It’s entertainment.

It’s true that there are hypnotists who use hypnosis as entertainment in stage shows. Therefore, one needs to search for a qualified and ethical hypnotherapist who can help one manage one’s emotions. Clinical hypnosis is a kind of medical therapy frequently used in conjunction with established medical techniques. For example, 61% of outpatients accessing daily hospice care who had hypnotherapy improved their ability to cope with their illness¹.

2. You lose consciousness or have amnesia when you’re hypnotized.

Most people remember everything that happens when they are hypnotized. Hence, you remain aware of who you are, where you are, and what happens during a hypnosis session. In fact, you become much more focused, and your ability to recall past memories may be sharper.

3. You’re under the control of your hypnotherapist when you’re hypnotized.

Hypnosis is guided by your hypnotist or hypnotherapist, but hypnosis is something you do for yourself. The hypnotherapist is only your facilitator, but you are the one who is the change agent. You cannot be coerced into doing something against your will. You won’t divulge any information that you want to keep private. You do not lose control of your behavior. Instead of letting pain, anxiety, or other unhelpful states take over, hypnosis enables patients to gain more control over their thoughts and perceptions².

4. Hypnosis is nothing more than deep sleep.

Hypnosis is not all about sleeping. Yes, you will enter into a specific sleep cycle where your conscious analytical mind (I call it the “stubborn” mind) shuts down and your subconscious mind (the one where emotions are stored) becomes more aware. Some deeper forms of hypnosis may enable your body to appear asleep because it becomes so still and quiet, but you are not asleep.

5. People who get hypnotized are weak-minded.

It is, in fact, the opposite. People who can keep a focused attention and have a creative imagination find it easier to reach a hypnotic state. It takes a very strong person to want to change and seek help to make that change.

6. You can get stuck in hypnosis and be unable to wake up.

Hypnosis is a natural and typical state we all regularly find ourselves in. You will not be “trapped” in hypnosis; the worst that can happen is that you fall asleep — naturally. Hypnosis is safe; the client can easily exit the hypnotic state by opening their eyes, stretching, or speaking.

7. Hypnotherapists have special powers.

Hypnotherapists do not read minds! A hypnotherapist is someone who is trained in the art and science of hypnosis and academically qualified in psychology. Hypnotherapy is merely a practice tool to guide a client toward their self-discovery and personal development. The hypnotherapist understands the mind-body connection and therefore acts as a facilitator for the client to manage issues. In a systematic evaluation of hypnotherapy for terminally-ill adult cancer patients, hypnosis was used to treat several symptoms including pain, anxiety and grief³.

8. I have never been under hypnosis before.

You may be unaware that we all experience the state of hypnosis at least twice a day: shortly before falling asleep at night and just before getting out of bed in the morning. Many people may fall into a state of “environmental hypnosis” while watching TV, driving, reading a book, or watching a movie.

Now that we’ve debunked the myths about hypnotherapy, it does not seem so scary after all, right?

If you’ve ever been hesitant about going through a hypnotherapy session, it’ll be a good time to give it a try now that you have more information about it but you can, and should, still do your own research to find out more). You can be assured that the benefits of hypnotherapy will outweigh the stigma that comes with it.

Hypnosis is safe for all. It can even help those with more severe mental disorders, but please make it a point to find an experienced and trained hypnotherapist who truly understands the disorder. Once you place your trust in your therapist, the healing process will be fast and effective.

Again, if you decide to undergo hypnotherapy, please choose the right qualified hypnotherapist who is ethical and experienced to help you with your issue.

THE SECRET TO CREATING BUSINESSES THAT EXCEL
Volume 6

Values And Attention Density

What a business consistently pays attention to determines which circuits in the brain of its people are strengthened. If you can create experiences for people that reinforce your most precious values, then these circuits will be dominant. This phenomenon, termed Attention Density, can create businesses that live their values under all conditions.

The Extraordinary Story Of The Taj

The Taj Hotel Group has a long history in opulent hotels and extreme service. The legend has it that it was founded when JN Tata, a proud man, was insulted at a naval club because he was not English. He then vowed to build a hotel that was beyond the imagination of the British Colonials. On its own, an opulent hotel facility is just some very expensive concrete and furniture. What made it special was the extraordinary leadership.

The truth was poignantly revealed in The Taj’s saddest and yet proudest moment; when it’s Bombay Hotel came under siege in 2008.

Businesses cannot choose what happens to them but they can certainly build on the resilience and commitment of their nobler selves. In that one tragic incident the true force of Taj’s energy in their commitment to customers came shining through.

Throwing Out The Manuals

The people of Taj did not learn customer service from a manual nor from a technical exercise. From the time of JN Tata, customer service was a calling; something that connected to the very core of their being! There were no limits. They could not help themselves in caring for people who walked into their hotels. It was something they had to do and it was not derived from a desire to build a profitable business.

Courage Beyond Measure

The Taj did not have a manual that fateful day to tell people what to do if they came under siege. When the attack was carried out it was quite clear that lives were in danger. There was gunfire and some floors were burning. If you have spent some time in a hotel, you would know that there are many back entrances and service exits all over the hotel so that the staff can perform their service without getting in the way of the guests. The staff knew these exits and they could have chosen to use their knowledge of these secret passageways, to abandon ship, think of themselves and their loved ones, and save just themselves. But they did not.

Taj employees did not save themselves first. The front desk staff stayed at their phones calling room after room to brief the guests on what was happening and to advise them to lock their doors and open for no one. The front desk people must have been absolutely scared for their lives. Yet they stayed at their posts worrying about the guests in the rooms.

A Training Of Hearts

The Taj did not hire the “best and brightest” from the top schools. Instead they hired people from areas where respect for people was more important than the burning ambitions of those with first class honOrs. They asked teachers to recommend students who were cheerful, demonstrated empathy, respected their teachers, and were polite. They asked for students whose families needed them to get a job.

Once hired, The Taj invested 18 months in their training when not even the industry recommended a 12-month stint. How was The Taj’s training different?

For 18 months the training was done by existing managers who transferred not only the explicit and technical knowledge but also the tacit knowledge. This ensured that the values that made The Taj what it was flowed through the managers to the new staff.

The Case Of Thomas

A most heroic example during the siege was Thomas Varghese. He was the head waiter in their vastly popular Japanese restaurant. Thomas and the other waiters’ first response was to form a protective ring around the diners. He looked after them for days staying quiet and avoiding trouble. Finally he managed to get in communication with the security forces and found an unguarded back spiral staircase that they could use to escape. He led the people out, staying behind until the end to ensure everyone else got out.

In caring for the others he came into the line of fire and was killed.

Reinforcing Positive Values – The Essence Of Attention Density

Businesses face pressures from all corners and often react in the moment rather than focus on the collective wisdom that has accumulated in their history.

When we communicate values and train people we create connections in the brain circuitry. If we continue to respond as a business in commitment to these values the circuitry is reinforced.

If at the first hurdle we abandon our values and revert to thinking in terms of cost, the circuitry is broken and the value does not stick. It might be on the wall as the business mission statement but it does not exist in the experience of the people.

This is the essence of Attention Density.

Staying The Course On What Truly Matters

Even in the aftermath of the horrific event, The Taj stayed true to its nobler self. After the attack, the HR team was quite nervous with their staff-support proposal, because they were worried that it was too generous. The CEO, Ratan Tata’s response on reviewing it was, “Do you think we are doing enough?”

For the employees who died, their families received their last salary for life. They were provided medical care, counselling and every kind of help you could imagine. Tata even helped the vendors on the streets who had lost their carts during the siege and finally paid out millions of rupees.

The Impact Of Each “Customer Moment” On The Business

Business strength is built by creating the experiences that resonate with the values consistently no matter the cost. At The Taj, they were so committed to each “customer moment” that each employee was empowered to ensure a wonderful moment regardless of cost. They would not need a supervisor’s approval for turning around a bad customer experience. No “Sorry Sir, I have to check with my Supervisor”.

Attention Density theory means that if you even once reprimand the staff for doing it, people will run scared. Would all the decisions made by the staff be the right one? Of course not! But you stay true to your nobler selves.

Human Magnificence Shining Through

Attention Density is the secret of maintaining the business in its darkest hours and its brightest moments. By creating Attention Density in all the little things that the business does, you create an energy which cannot be explained by the human laws of physics.

The result is not the sum of all the steps taken and experiences created by The Taj; it is a “nuclear” reaction that releases energy from the collective attention density of people. It delivers performance beyond the limits of our earthly imagination, if we only trust our nobler true selves and the human magnificence of our people.

YOUR SUPPORT TRIBE

Why You Need It & How To Build It

Volume 33

Belongingness

Belongingness is an emotional need that gives us the sense that we are connected or affiliated with a group of people. Yet it’s a bit more than just being acquainted. It is a need that is based on attention, acceptance and mutual support. It requires reciprocity. It can lead to many realizations within a person and may cause changes in belief systems, behaviors and attitudes.

We all need a sense of belonging. When we were children, our first relationship was with our parents and any caregivers we may have had. By the time we went to school, we made friends of our own, started our connections on who we wanted to play with (more often than others) which deepened our emotional muscles to navigate those friendships.

Through high school and college, our sense of belonging increased, and we became super interested in our social activities and friends. At that stage of growing, friends seemed to be more important than family members.

Reaching adulthood, life keeps us busy in jobs or getting married and growing a family, so it becomes a bit more difficult to spend time with friends. We are pre-occupied with our family first rather than keeping the ties of friendship strong.

However, when challenges in life occur, as it does everyone without exception, that trusted circle of friends is what actually act as pillars of support for us, more so over time as we become aging elders.

Diversity

Growing up in a diverse New York in an immigrant Dominican family, I sought my own sense of belonging. But that proved difficult when I looked at the cliques around me, whether it was people sticking with their own race and culture or young people sticking with only those their age. I did not understand.

Just like children who do not truly see the difference in races and cultures, and who would be curious about the world, I wanted friends to have fun and laugh with, and I wanted friends I could learn from. I did not know what it meant to stick with my own kind and I still don’t. Because my own kind is not only my big family; as I grew in wisdom, my own kind was all of humanity. Anyone who showed me kindness and compassion, they are my kind of friends.

My family is from all over the globe, in all skin shades and mixed with all the traits that come with those shades — we have European traits, African traits and Indigenous traits. However, it wasn’t until I made friends with the elders as a young woman that I began to truly understand and see how important it was to have a diverse circle of friends, to build a strong support system as I navigated life in the United States.

Wisdom From The Elders

It is so important to be culturally intelligent and associate with people of different cultures and ages. There is much to learn. I have been blessed that my friendship story began through being present with the older generations, the elders.

Just living for so many years gives the elders the advantage of seeing the world longer and understanding people better. They offer priceless wisdom that can sustain you in the long run – all you need to do is keenly and actively listen not because they are always right, but because they have more experience in knowing how to go about living your best life before you leave this Earth.

3 Important Lessons Learned From Having Elders As Friends

1. Be Young At Heart And Smile Often.

Youth isn’t simply a time in life; it’s a state of mind. It’s that angle that helps you take calculated risks and create mistakes till you learn from them. One of the major tips in staying youthful is keeping that childlike wonder. Staying young, wild and free is a blessing that doesn’t last forever but until you are truly grateful for the small things, you won’t see the big picture of how smiling and expressing gratitude keeps a youthful glow on you. Yes, smile big and smile often. And yes, smile – while you still have all your teeth. That’s a lesson the elderly can teach anyone. Old folks smile even when they don’t have any teeth!

2. Do Not Be Stuck On One Way Of Doing Things Or Be Stuck In One Place.

It is worth learning how to be flexible and independent. If you have never stepped out of your city, town or country, you may want to talk to someone experienced and wise before you do. It is an amazing adventure to travel often and live in different places and experience different cultures. You gain the knack of being independent, flexible and handling big responsibilities – all while creating wonderful memories of adventures to share with others, especially if you have grandchildren one day. Oh, what amazing stories you can tell and the wisdom you can share! Traveling not only opens windows to new worlds but also teaches you the different perspectives about life.

3. In All You Do, Always Be Kind!

Kindness is powerful – certainly much more than indifference, it doesn’t cost anything to be kind. Kindness has a strong, positive impact on relationships. By simple acts of kindness, you could turn someone’s difficult day into a happy one.

Wisdom From Youngsters & Others

Having spent precious time with my elders, many of them until the end of their lives, I gained enough courage to go back and rebuild connections with friends from high school. I had but a handful of these friends. For me, high school years were confusing and tough – trying to fit in, getting to know who I was and what I wanted to become.

As my high school friends and I reminisced, I found that I had learned 3 lessons from my past teenage friends, some of them whom I could only find a real connection with whilst in college and others much later whilst in my 40s.

3 Lessons Learned From Having Teenage Friends And From Other Challenging Connections

1. It Is Up To You To Make An Effort To Belong.
   You need to be the one to put yourself out there. You need to be the one to seek out activities and groups of people with whom you have common interests, and you need to be the one to engage with others.
2. Practice Patience
   You do not actually know when solid connections will happen and it doesn’t happen overnight or as quickly as you might expect. It takes time to gain acceptance, attention and support from your peers. They are learning too. They are also looking for where they belong, how to be members of the group and how to become better friends.
3. Be Accepting That Everyone Is Different With Different Circumstances.
   When you focus on the similarities and not the differences, it connects you to others and helps build stronger, lasting friendships. The best thing about accepting that everyone is different, is that it helps you remain open to new ways of thinking and you learn something new, if you allow yourself to do just that.

Throughout my life, I continue to learn how diversity is a gift, and how for me to have a rich and fulfilling journey is to have friends from all walks of life. Even having children as friends leaves me in a state of wonderment and awe. I look at the world of humans with curiosity, and I’m always amazed at how I can utilize my senses – seeing, smelling, touching, hearing and tasting – to continually re-discover the world in a whole new way.

The Wisdom Of A Support Tribe

Of course, this is not to say making friends or navigating through life is easy. But when one chooses to throw a wider net in developing friendships, there will be more opportunities to experience many different perspectives of life, which equals wisdom.

Research has shown that having a social support system can positively impact your mental health. It can help reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. Having contact with a variety of friends can help you manage everyday challenges, offer you different opinions when making difficult decisions and even bring comfort during a crisis.

For people who do not have a diverse circle of friends, this is the time to use technology to connect with friends far away through social media, text messaging, emails, video calls, etc. Even when technology is unavailable, one could still write letters the old-fashioned way.

No person is an island and we all have a need to connect with one another. We should be creative in seeking out those connections. Every support system and every friendship is different. You may have one or one hundred people in your life to reach out to. The numbers do not matter but do reach out.

It is important to care for your own mental health and wellbeing by reaching out to the support of friends. Although it may take time to build a solid one, it is well worth the effort. Every step you take brings you a step closer to having friendships that can last a lifetime, as you build memories and stories along the way that you can share with the world.

EAST MEETS WEST IN EMOTIONS
Volume 34

Don’t Hush Your Emotions

With our current metamorphosis from the pandemic, our emotional load has significantly increased. We are experiencing fear, sadness, worry, anxiety, frustration, depression and stress with all the constant change.

In the new earth perspective, we are shedding the old ways, the outdated thinking, and making room for a higher vibration of consciousness. Emotional intelligence is not something taught although it can be learned.

There are so many emotions that aren’t talked about because we hide our true emotions.

Or maybe we aren’t able to voice out our emotions. But certainly we do feel emotions in our bodies.

Emotions can make us sick and cause insomnia, diarrhea, heart palpitations, night sweats, nightmares, stomach aches. We feel nauseous, we cry, we don’t cry, we eat too much and we shut down.

With children, emotions that are suppressed could lead to bedwetting. With youths, it could result in nail-biting, fatigue, lack of focus or motivation, forgetfulness; the list goes on.

Interlude: Create The Solutions Today

Since the pandemic I’ve been given time to focus on other areas of my life, and one that has unfolded has been a connection with individuals in Africa.

What if you were going through life on a normal day with your family; mom, dad, your 2 brothers and 2 sisters, you get into the car with your parents, knowing you’ll return home later, but instead you’re involved in a car accident where both your parents died and you lost your arm from the elbow down?

This was what happened to Richard, who is 25 today, still having to deal with the pain and living without a prosthetic, and has issues trying to make a living with only one arm. A new friend I made in Nigeria, Prosper, found him on the streets of Port Harcourt, Nigeria, begging for food and for someone to take him in this time last year.

Together, Prosper and I were able to help him. Through my phone’s video, I could see how life was like over there, how, for example, people cook without a stove or with only a 3-kg gas cooker. I could see the dirt roads and city streets and how different everything is from my comfortable home here in America.

From this experience, I realize we can all have the same needs, the same concerns, the same emotions and yet live so differently. I believe that when we blend our knowledge and experiences from the different cultures, we can grow and advance together. We can shape solutions for what is needed today, without judging who is right or wrong, or debating on whose dogma is correct. We are intelligent beings with boundless possibilities, our timeless wisdom will not betray us and solutions are waiting to be created.

Let us create the solutions today.

Energetic Convergence

There are many cultural theories and practices based on energy medicine. The Dao or Tao is a place that holds energy relationships using nature as its metaphor.

The Dao relates to wholeness, and unity of the divine. The Dao is wisdom that is present any moment. Wisdom is energy, and all matter is energy. When we address our energetic system, we can foresee and prevent disease, and elevate ourselves to a level of consistent wellness. To attain this greater health and well-being, we would want a free flow of qi or chi in our body by clearing blockages, supporting deficiencies and addressing excess or imbalanced conditions.

Adding these energetic techniques to the global mental health support system would prove beneficial in all areas of people’s lives.

Fear & Anxiety

The last two years have altered lives and brought impactful changes, with fear and anxiety running like rivers through local neighborhoods. In Chinese medicine, anxiety has components of worry and fear, and chronic anxiety leads to anger. Ideas will overlap here, but we can learn more about fear and anxiety from a different perspective.

Fear

Fear is the opposite of wisdom. Fear is the lack of trust in the Dao… the Way.

Fear includes both (a) the chronic state of fear and anxiety, and (b) fear with a sudden fright. Fear depletes kidney qi and descends the energy, which shows up as incontinence, bladder issues, and “freezing”. When freezing, we sink, we become inactive and “frozen” in our lives.

We get afraid because we don’t see the big picture. The stronger the kidneys, the less fear one has. We can support the kidneys as much as possible for they are, as a pair, our life force energy, our jing (essence).

Fear kills joy.

A remedy for fear is understanding that the only constant is change.

Anxiety

Anxiety corresponds to the liver and is related to the wood element. Liver energy is Hun.

Hun is responsible for maintaining peaceful sleep with dreams that are good for the soul. It’s also responsible for inner visions, dreams, creativity and growth.

Another part of the liver is the ethereal soul which sustains courage. When this is weak, the person becomes timid; when it’s strong, the person is fearless and is able to face life’s difficulties without being easily discouraged.

Hun maintains our emotions and keeps us balanced emotionally. When emotions are held back or hidden for long periods, the compromised liver qi will cause headaches, indigestion or abdominal bloating. Depression is another problem caused by repressed emotions.

When anxiety is not dealt with over time, anger would be felt. Anger can build and build, and can go on for way too long. This is called sheng nu or swelling anger. Anger is the most depleting of all the emotions because it’s so yang in nature.

Heart & Mind

Shen is a friend you want to get to know. In the West, we look at the mind as a single entity. In the East, we look at the mind and the heart as one, working together. Spirit and all emotions integrate through the heart. All emotions affect the heart and are recognized by it, so we always treat the heart to help with emotional imbalances. The heart is self-reflective, it is the consciousness that recognizes what we are feeling.

Essentially, the heart houses the mind; the mind and the heart are one in the Shen. Chinese medicine looks at the energetic system running alongside the physical system with each system carrying its own vital tasks and responsibilities in the body’s operations.

From neurocardiology, we now know that there are also neurons or nerve cells in the heart transmitting nerve impulses or signals. The heart and brain are constantly sending signals back and forth between themselves. We can therefore nurture our internal energy as mind-body energy affect each other. By understanding this connection and having the right tools and resources, we can use the mind-body flow of energy to help balance our emotions.

Inhale The Present, Exhale The Past

~Solutions For Mind Relief~

1. Smudging – The Native American Way

Smudging is a Native American technique for calming, clearing, protecting, praying and also blessing yourself and your personal space. Sage, white sage, sweet grass or palo santo can be used together with our intention.

In Native American tradition you would want to follow these steps:

• Be in the right state of mind. With humility, thank the item of smudging; be grateful for the cleansing.
• Set your intention of purpose as you light the sage or the plant used, believing in the purpose.
• As the smoke starts, connect your hands to the smoke. Your hands are now empowered. Bring the smoke to the top of your head first and then toward your body and down toward your feet.

2. Scalp Massage

Scalp massage is beneficial due to the numerous acupressure points all over the head. Stimulating them opens up energy flow to the brain. This helps calm the mind and helps with any Shen disturbance. Western terms of Shen disturbance include mental fatigue, exhaustion, anxiety, stress, brain fog, head injury, concussion and other head trauma.

In TCM they do not treat symptoms, they treat patterns. Shen disturbance falls under mind and heart patterns; so we can now include emotions in our healing solutions.

3. Taiqi Warm Up

I recommend learning any type of Taiqi warm-up movement, which moves your energetic system – as we do need to move our energy to heal. A Taiqi warm-up movement allows the energy flow to calm the mind from states of anxiety and fear. It’s also very grounding, thus helping you return to your center to find your tranquility.

4. Return The Qi

This is the most important and it is done within the basic Taiqi warm up, I feel this is a true treasure. I’ve seen it calm people down immediately; your teens and children can easily learn this. It can be done anywhere and within a few minutes, making a real difference to your mental and emotional health.

WAYS TO SWITCH ON A POSITIVE MINDSET
Volume 17

Make A Choice

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.” ~ Christopher Reeve

You can either let life lead you, or lead your life. Flip the switch to positivity. Choose to be an optimist not just for self but for your loved ones in your life right now.

BE GRATEFUL

When you begin to feel depressed, stop to say “thank you” to anything – your house, car, family, job, food, clothes and what have you. There is no point in having regrets of things past. Instead, being grateful will allow you to experience a higher vibration almost immediately.

USE MOTION

Fast motion allows you to experience a higher vibrational state. You can be speeding on a speed boat, bike riding or be on a roller coaster ride, your mood will immediately improve. The faster the momentum, the higher your vibration will be.

LOOK YOUR BEST

When you are feeling down, you tend to stay in your pyjamas or lie in bed all day, not bothered with your hair or appearance. To pull yourself together and boost your energy, put on your favorite outfit, shoes and perfume to look and be your best, and you will definitely feel your best too. Walk out with your spine straight and shoulders held back, chest out, with a smile on our face. This helps put you in a feel-good emotional state which immediately switches on a positive mindset.

EXERCISE

Hit the gym or park and sweat it out. Science confirms that exercise is great for releasing the bio-chemicals (endorphins) that make you feel good. It’s best to do this in the morning – taking in the fresh air and absorbing the sunshine to help your body rejuvenate and charge up. Elevate your energy at the same time with upbeat or happy music. Avoid listening to sad and slow songs when you are down as you will be in the same vibrational resonance with it, making you feel worse.

WATCH COMEDY

This is one of the easiest things to do as it can be done lying in bed, which is how most people will be when in a depressed state. Watching a funny movie, sitcom or even listening to a stand-up comedy routine online that makes you smile and even laugh will help improve your mood. Once finished, leave your bed and further improve your energy with another activity on this list to pull yourself up even higher.

MEDITATE

Sit or lie down, close your eyes, and concentrate on your breathing. Meditation aligns you with the higher vibrational energies of the universe. Visualize a beam of white light from the source engulfing your entire physical body and auric field to transmute energy denseness, for at least half hour. See yourself shining with bright white light. You should experience some clarity and peace thereafter.

OVERCOMING SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS
Volume 10

“Some people are calm when they speak to authority figures and at meetings. I’m the exact opposite. Now, I even avoid social gatherings for fear of embarrassing myself. How do I solve my problem?”

Breaking out in cold sweat and hosting butterflies in the stomach are common amongst many people. Yet, they keep giving opinions and letting themselves be the center of attention. Perhaps their approach is simply “Fake it till you make it!” Of course, there are some other things you could try.

Never Link The Past To The Present

Once a child touches a boiling pot, that mistake will not be repeated. Likewise, adults who have had bad experiences, e.g. at public speaking, may be reluctant to try it again. But, why assume the next time will also go wrong? Stop saying things like, “I always stammer.” Forgive and forget that occasion when you did so. Always say things like, “I speak confidently at meetings.”

Positive Predictions

Assume you have been invited to a party. What would you say?

• “No one will talk to me.” or
• “I will meet lots of friendly people.”

Obviously, option two is a better choice. Self-talk has incredible power to determine what happens. So, picture your next discussion with an authority figure. Predict a fabulous outcome whilst saying out aloud, “I will present my points well.”

Here’s a rule for future events – be 100% positive and have faith in yourself.

Slam Shut Escape Doors

Stop shying away from things you assume you are bad at. Should you keep avoiding going to parties and doing presentations, you will never have a positive experience. This will stunt your growth.

Start with small challenges and eventually embrace bigger ones. Be bold.

Your Body Is Doing Fine

Don’t think of your sweaty palms or your stammering words. In reality, no one may have noticed it. When in an anxious state, people blow things way out of proportion. Instead, focus on ongoing conversations so that you can join in.

Role Playing

Before movie star Bette Davis’s book was launched, she checked out the venue. She took photographs of where her car would drop her off, where she would stand when giving her speech, etc. Then she practiced it all in her mind. Do the same.

You could also get some friends to act out what happens at parties and presentations.

BRINGING HAPPY BACK TO WORK
Volume 3

Saving Lives

Let me begin with a story.

Somewhere in the world not too long ago, a consultant was tasked to improve the motivational level of the workers in a rubber glove factory. To do that, he met with a surgeon who was a customer of the factory’s gloves. During that meeting, the consultant found what he wanted to know – he had discovered “the secret to performance motivaton”.

The consultant returned to the factory with the surgeon and asked the surgeon to repeat what he had spoken about at their meeting to the now gathered factory workers. The surgeon shared, that when he had his hands in the body of a patient during an operation, he held a life in those hands.

For the surgeon, the rubber gloves he wore were what stood between life and death for the patient. The greatest danger was that the gloves might have micro holes which allowed germs to pass to the patient, thus prolonging post-surgery recovery and which might even cause death.

The rubber gloves that the factory made were of perfect quality and the surgeon remarked that he had every confidence when using their gloves. With that, one of the production operators stood up to proudly declare, “Yes, we do make very good gloves here.” The surgeon paused for a moment before he replied, “No, sir, you are wrong, you don’t just make good gloves. You are saving my patient’s lives.”

The Best Kept Secret

While we use motivation as a means of increasing productivity, it is really not that well understood. There is actually a simpler secret to performance and that secret is… happiness.

Happiness comes from a simple formula of being proud of what you do, being appreciated for doing it and being able to share that joy with the people you are with.

Like the production operator in the story above, we must look at the bigger picture of the purpose in what we do and know deep inside us the true value of that purpose.

A New Age Of Emotional Sensitivity

Being mindful of emotions is the “new normal” as workplaces become more sensitive to the emotional aspect of the human being in the New Age. Traditional organizational design drives fear-based competitive behaviors which do not fit this new paradigm of emotional sensitivity.

Transforming an organization to one of a shared love and purpose moves the focus from achieving individual wins and securing individual “turf” to enabling positive emotions that lead to shared wins and collective ownership. Collaborative group behavior can mean only one thing: better organizational performance.

Creating Happiness At Work

Workplace design of some of the most successful and avant-garde workplaces today has let go of traditional structured thinking and is embracing the happiness culture. Generally, this means creating 3 levels of happiness at the workplace and here are some examples of how this can be done:

1. A Happy Physical Space

   People are generally most productive when they are relaxed and connected to others. This understanding provides the first insight into creating a shift in your workplace, the shift from the Cathedral to the Café. The Cathedral workplace ensures control and compartmentalization; a system of hierarchy if you will.

   Imagine now the Café workplace with a lot of space for people to connect and collaborate. The right conditions to make choices. We all have looked at pictures of Google, a very successful, profitable business and yet it builds office space like Disneyland, the theme park which is marketed as the “Happiest Place in the World”.

2. A Happy Cultural Space

   Organizations can induce happiness in the most capacious space, otherwise known as the cultural space. For example, language has great impact on people. The language you use can create a space of freedom for people or it can create fear.

   Continuously focusing and paying attention to a particular thought or activity strengthens the related circuitry and makes physical changes in the brain. Using the language of trust, transparency and inclusion strengthen these circuits of well-being and result in secure, happy workers.

3. A Happy Spiritual Space

   Conventional theories of motivation have long centered on extrinsic stimulation. Contemporary research on motivation has shifted attention from an “engineering” approach to a spiritual approach, tapping into the ancient wisdom of intrinsic motivation. Submitting to something greater than oneself comes from a faith that cannot be sparked by the giving of extrinsic reward.

   In the heydays of the Malaysian electronics industry in the 90s, there was very stiff competition in hiring production operators. To recruit people for my employer we went all over Malaysia, literally from village to village. I devised a model and a marketing plan for successful recruitment. We were proud of what we did because we were creating happier lives for the people that we hired for the plant. I produced a blitz campaign around the theme of “Join the Giant” and spent RM 100,000 (that was a lot of money to spend on recruitment in those days). In the first month I got 5 people! I was sure I was going to be fired but my Japanese boss said what I considered magical words, “Never mind, try again”.

   The feeling of being trusted was more motivating for me than any other reward. I can still close my eyes and recall how I felt at that moment. My happiness was infectious and people who worked with me were equally motivated just by the power of my aura. It created a wave of energy which radiated through my team. Ultimately we were successful beyond our imagination. And all it took was, “Never mind, try again”.

Authenticity & Trust – The New Motivations

Many organizations have a desire to suppress diversity of views and seek conformance in the name of order. While this may work, for example, in an engineering environment, organizations are more complex than they think they are and depend not only on screw drivers but human intervention to resolve challenges.

Allowing people to embrace their authentic selves gives them the space to let go of inhibitions and reach for greater things which in the long run benefit the organization. The information age thrives not only on digital information but also human cognitive thinking and intuition.

Control and performance management systems activate and stimulate the very primal part of the brain; the amygdala which is the alarm system in all animals. The perceived negative consequences of not meeting performance expectations create fear and divert us from doing amazing things.

Control systems want us to plan the future but really that is just fantasy. We cannot control the future, but we can create it; and we embrace it safe in the knowledge that we trust ourselves to be able to face what comes.

Happy Can Be Back At Work – Just Allow It

Happiness stems from achieving the wonderful and the extraordinary. In my personal story above, “Never mind, try again” allowed authenticity to emerge without the fear of failure. It made my team try new things and drove us to discover the best that we could be. It made us believe that each team member was capable of more than what he delivered. It made us strive to master what we thought was not possible. The journey of allowing people in their jobs to discover the extraordinary in themselves ignites a happiness that is infectious.

Happiness seems a complex proposition to implement but in reality organizations have the power to make it happen. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, suspend what you “already know” and start to re-imagine your organization as the happiest place on earth.

Today’s Enlightened Workplaces

Happy workplaces have people who carry each other in their arms. We often lack the ability to listen mindfully in a powerful way due to a “me first” conditioning. We can increase our mindfulness by paying deeper attention to those around us. Attention without judgment. Lean back, then focus on your own breathing to relax your body and quiet your mind, so that you become mindful of what is happening. Pay attention not just to words but connect to the emotions as well.

The feudal-based concept of human systems of a thousand years ago does not reflect how humans live together today. We may have chosen in the past to control and manipulate people through organizational culture and processes. But we are now in a New Age of consciousness and the more enlightened organizations of today are putting humanity back into the workplace.

With the current level of emotional sophistication and awareness, we can come out of hiding behind authority, process and procedure, to interact with each other. Common sense, creativity, trust and empathy are far greater forces in getting things done. After one thousand years, it is finally time to bring Humanity and our Hearts back to work.

From The Editors: The Universe is currently moving towards a more feminine expression of itself. Most of us would have noticed things shifting around us, manifested as social and economic developments that are more attuned to the soft, gentle and feminine aspect of our collective psyche. To manifest effortlessly in this New Wave of Consciousness which marks another phase of our inner evolution͕, we are to align ourselves with the new energies and allow ourselves to flow with the great currents of this cosmic shift.

GROW YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TO GROW YOUR ABUNDANCE
Volume 26

Joy & Happiness Of Abundance

Abundance is generally thought of as the condition of having more, a large quantity or enjoying the feeling of plentifulness of something that’s liked. Since it’s enjoyable, abundance too is a state of joy and happiness.

Abundance thus can mean either having tangible or material things, such as money; or, being in the state of mind and heart of having abundance.

In this article, we are referring to the state of mind and heart of having abundance as such abundance is more encompassing in all areas of our life, and not only the material.

A Grateful Heart Is An Abundant Heart

“When you are grateful, fear disappears, and abundance appears.” ~ Anthony Robbins, life coach & business strategist.

“Gratitude” and “fear” are both emotions that we generate from thoughts. A thought of having been the recipient of kindness, for example, would evoke the pleasant feeling of gratitude, whilst a thought of being physically or emotionally harmed would evoke the unpleasant feeling of fear. Robbins tells us that if we want to create more abundance in our lives, we need to evoke feelings of gratitude instead of fear.

I suggest that if we are to realize Robbins’ quotation, we’ll have to be sensitive and aware of our emotions, when they arise within us, especially the emotions of gratitude and fear. This means awareness about our own emotions, which is a key aspect of emotional intelligence.

5 Steps To Being Emotionally Intelligent

“Emotional Intelligence is ‘the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior’.” ~ Peter Salovey and John Mayer, co-developers of the MSCEIT Test for Emotional Intelligence.

1. BE CONSCIOUS Of What Your Intelligence Are Telling You

Emotions are innate, powerful, and principally unconscious processes that happen to us automatically when we are “triggered”. Emotions act as alarm or signal systems and provide information. is alerts us to our creation, our current  situation and encounter.

However, there is a challenge, the emotions that we feel at first instance may not always provide the right information. For example, when a friend offers you the opportunity to make some fast cash, what would your immediate thoughts and feelings be? Would you feel excited or skeptical? Regardless of what you are feeling, it’s important to know that none of your feelings actually tell you anything more about the opportunity! The money-making opportunity may be a scam or it may be totally legitimate!

Therefore, what you need to do is you learn to be aware, to be conscious of what your emotions are alerting you to. You also need to diligently explore the emotions to see if they are giving you the right information. By doing this, you exercise discernment and prevent yourself from missing the chance of attracting abundance. You are actually creating a neutral space to welcome in more possibilities into your life.

2. RELEASED Trapped Emotions

Trapped or suppressed emotions are to be released when you feel them but somehow, at that time they were not allowed out, so they become stuck in your body as a result.

Emotions like sadness and anger are often not allowed to be expressed and released freely in our lives as doing so is deemed a sign of weakness or immaturity. So, after some time these emotions will start to cause physical feelings of pain, discomfort, unpleasantness and “stuck-ness”.

The emotions that are trapped inside you occupy space, and so you have no room for any new experiences to come into your life, having no chance to do anything different or having no space for creation and abundance.

3. REFOCUS Scattered Emotions

Scattered emotions, or what I call emotional leakages or unmanaged emotions, is another area you need to look at. You need to be aware if your emotions are scattered and out of control. If your emotions are scattered, you will start to feel that you are always lacking energy, unable to focus and unwilling to do anything. As a result, restlessness, frustration and lethargy set in. When that happens, you will lack the capacity to channel the right emotions and energy to create abundance.

The ability to manage, hold and control your emotional energies will directly affect how you function in your daily life. Just like everyone else, you need the emotions of hope and confidence to focus and produce the energy of creation, which is key towards having abundance.

4. Use Emotions To CREATE, Not Destroy

On that note, you also need to know which emotions have the power to create. All emotions have different default purposes. Examples: anger – destruction, disgust – avoidance, fear – protection, sadness – reconnection, and, happiness – progression.

By being aware of what kind of emotions you are constantly having and feeling, you can control the emotions and their energies. In this way, you prevent emotions that create scarcity, such as fear, worry, uselessness, shame, and use emotions such as joy, confidence, excitement, love, compassion, and gratitude to create abundance.

Do pay attention to the different kinds of emotions that you are experiencing and what they are creating for you. Positive emotions create whilst negative emotions destroy.

5. Don’t Resist Emotions, Let Them FLOW

You would have heard before that emotion is also seen as “energy in motion”.

The 5th and final step is to let your emotions flow. You need your emotions to flow out, flow in and flow through.

Flow Out – Allow unhealthy, negative emotions of anger, fear, irritation, scarcity, lacking, not good enough, undeserving, etc. out of your body and system so that they clear the space for the “right” and positive emotions to flow into you.

Flow In – Let the positive emotions of hope, faith, love, gratitude, confidence, compassion, etc. flow into you and fill you so that you build up your capacity to generate the right energies to create and attract new and wonderful things into your life abundantly.

Flow Through – Lastly, once you have the right kind of emotions and energies in your body and system, imagine the energies are flowing through you from your head down to your toes. Have them constantly flowing. When you do that, you are creating motion, movement and momentum, that is, literally growing the power of creation. This will keep you energized and
allow you to generate the abundance that you’ve always wanted.

STILLNESS THROUGH A CUP OF TEA
Volume 33

Easing Into Tea

I stumbled upon tea ceremony 2 months after my mom passed; she had battled with cancer for 6 years.

As a meditation and yoga facilitator, I was aware that I needed space to grieve and process my emotions. As much as I have the tools to process and overcome psychological sufferings or limiting beliefs, I found myself having difficulties embracing that phase of my life.

Juggling my mental space and knowing to be extra mindful while facilitating meditation sessions, I had to put in extra effort to stay present and not drown unconsciously in my grief.

Then an event at the studio that I teach in caught my attention. It was a tea ceremony and I found myself drawn to it without knowing what it was about. As I stepped foot into the event space, a feeling of familiarity washed over me and I instantly felt at peace.

Peaceful Mind, Peaceful Heart

I clearly remember when the first few cups of tea were served; my mind was busy and all over the place. It was only halfway through the ceremony that my mental and emotional space began to calm down. As the ceremony proceeded, everything soon got still and quiet.

“I love you”, whispered my mom’s voice. Immediately, a surge of emotions welled up in me and I began to choke up. Knowing that I was in a safe and sacred space held by the tea ceremonialist, LiYing, my emotions made their way to the surface and my breathing became much easier.

What happened next was beautiful. Finally, I managed to have a conversation with my mother that I could never have when she was alive. A deep healing took place and I felt a great sense of relief. All the tension that had built up during the pandemic lockdown and all the stress that I had during my mom’s final phase of life were relieved. Slowly, my nervous system calmed down and my physical body relaxed soon after. It was a profound experience and it came with a sense of gentleness that I had never felt before.

A Parting Gift From Mom

I felt as though the tea ceremony was a parting gift to me from my mother – a healing modality that I could explore. I believed that I could share this practice with others who may be in a similar situation as myself; I could hold space for them to journey within for their own healing.

From then on, I started to learn more about the intricacies of tea ceremony – the tea leaves, the preparation, the tea serving, and so on. Being a meditation facilitator, I instinctively merged the practice of meditation with tea serving. And that was how I came up with “tea meditation”. Boy, was I excited!

With my new-found excitement, I began to hold “tea meditation” trials for my friends and was thrilled that it brought healing for all of them. I then felt encouraged to share this practice with more people. At first, I offered online “tea meditation” to the public who were still in lockdown at that time. As restrictions eased, I began conducting more and more in-person sessions.

The Healing Silence

On the surface, tea ceremony appears to be just like a simple act of serving tea. But the healing power of tea goes deeper than one realizes as it gently works its way into the consciousness of participants during a tea meditation.

I usually start a tea meditation session by giving a brief explanation on what is to be expected. For example, there will be several rounds of tea serving, all done in silence. The participants can choose to either close their eyes to feel and listen, or, they can open their eyes to observe and enjoy the process preparing, pouring and serving tea.

Comments and sharing from participants revealed that silence is the key to many of them finding emotional healing from anger, grief, sadness, frustration, worry and other emotions. Some experienced healing of old wounds. Within the silence, some found the clarity, the answers or some inner wisdom relating to the challenges they were facing.

A participant shared that the silence grounded and connected her with Gaia, allowing her to experience Gaia’s healing energy. She was reminded that she could choose to be still within even though the weathers and seasons come and go (which resembles the ups and downs of the emotions of life).

Those who had never experienced meditation were surprised that the session lasted for almost an hour, not realizing the passing of time. And then there were those who felt the deep relaxation in their physical body despite having been in an hour-long silence. I even had someone fall asleep while in the sitting position waiting to be served! And this same person had initially commented that he found it hard to sit still as his body was in pain. This little incident made me realize how powerful the tea ceremony can be, that it can help ease one’s nervous system in an hour.

As I serve more and more people from all walks of life, I am blessed to be able to observe how having a cup of tea mindfully can touch or change lives in different ways. It provides a silent retreat in a busy world.

Slow Before You Overflow

I realized humans are always in a rush, whether it is to complete our goals or to carry out our daily chores. Is it not our routine now to rush to beat the morning traffic again as lockdowns have become a thing of the past?

I must admit that there are times when I too catch myself waking up and feeling a rush to complete my to-do-list of the day with gushes of anxiety brewing within me. That is when I will put some loose tea leaves into a small bowl of hot water, allowing it to steep as I breathe a few deep and relaxed breaths.

As I slow down my own rhythm, I get to appreciate this bowl of tea that stimulates my senses with its aroma (smell), its warmth on my palms (touch) and the unfurling of its leaves in my bowl (sight). Time pauses in those moments.

Without hurrying, I then sip this aromatic cup of tea with my full attention, feeling every sip as it flows down my throat and warms up my digestive system. Ahh… what a comforting and nurturing feeling.

How beautiful it is, to kickstart the mornings with this little ritual that brings stillness and serenity to set the tone for the day, through the power of tea.

Having this daily practice has helped me gain more clarity and be more present with purposeful intent.

Tea, Tea, Is It For Me?

Some people ask me, who should give tea meditation a try? I always say, “Everyone!” Especially those who are constantly busy or leading highly-stressed lives.

Even if you’re not a tea drinker, arrangements can be made to accommodate your preference and the healing effects have been proven to work just as well.

Tea meditation or tea ceremony is a friendly approach for beginners who want to experience mindful living. It would be particularly helpful to those with the “monkey mind” and want to meditate but can’t. This is because the facilitation of a tea meditation allows one to easily go deep into a state of stillness without effort.

For advance meditation practitioners, you will find that this seemingly simple tea journey will bring you deeper into your own space and inner processes. You may even gain a different layer of realization or understanding. It all depends on the individual.

Spirituali-tea

From a spiritual perspective, the tea ceremony encourages us to leave our ego, hierarchy and status aside. All are equal, all are one, which eventually bring harmony to the community. So, are you up for a cup of mindful tea?

A Tea-Work Of Art

I’d like to share some of my best practices with you to try out tea meditation on your own at home:

1. Cleansing The Space & Setting The Mood.

To prepare for the session, the space is always cleansed, physically and energetically. I like to burn some incense and play soft meditation music before the arrival of the participants. With the help of tealights, the ambience sets a calming mood as participants step into the space.

2. Trusting & Allowing The Tea To Do Its Work.

Apart from setting a pure intention for the space, I leave the rest of the work to the tea. I fully trust the tea to give the participants the healing they need, be it an emotional release, an energy recharge or a recalibration. I allow the tea to do its work, trusting it to do what’s best for each participant at that moment.

The experience for every individual differs. For example, one participant commented that it was therapeutic watching my gestures of handling and turning the bowls of tea while serving, because those gestures were so in harmony. Another found the sound of the tea hitting the bowls, from the initial pouring to the last trickle, gave her a sense of being cleansed in a flowing river.

3. Allowing Everyone To Go Deeper Into Their Own Stillness.

Without having to push or rush, I simply allow the participants to be themselves, to go deeper into their own stillness, at their own pace and rhythm, in silence.

I have encountered one participant who needed to walk around a bit during the session but eventually settled and quieted down.

Usually, with every bowl of tea served, one feels more and more grounded. It is only a matter of time. Some have reported going into stillness rather rapidly but for some others, the grounding effect only kicked in after 3 or more bowls. The  important thing is to not rush the process but to let it flow naturally and gently.

WHAT KIND OF DREAMER ARE YOU?
Volume 16

Do you have a dream to achieve? And do you know how far you are from achieving it? Is your dream realistic or is it too small for you? Allow this reading to decipher your inner personality towards your life goals!

Take a look at the pictures of houses below.

Which particular house do you like best?

Find Your Answers Below

1

If you’re attracted to the castle in the sky, it means that you’re longing for a life that is very different from the norm. It also means that your dreams may not be achievable at this point. Perhaps you could set some short-term goals for yourself now.

You have strong leadership qualities and are most likely in a leadership position, careerwise. You wish for a life that allows you to be free, away from the busy world. Your family will always be with you no matter where you go as you have strong family ties.

2

You have a big dream but you’re currently far from your dream life as you’re too busy with what is in front of you. Life can be challenging for you at this point. However, you always have someone around you when you need help.

Make a list to describe your dream life. Be specific about it so that you can manifest it. Once you have successfully conquered the challenges that you’re currently facing, the journey ahead will be much smoother. Tell the Universe what you want, not what you don’t want!

3

Choosing this fairytale-like house means that you’re a simple and contented person. A harmonious and joyful life is all you long for.

Most likely you’re a parent already, and family is very important to you. You’re a caring person and others love to be around you. Continue to share your love and be caring, but just be mindful when you have emotions surfacing. Meditation would be perfect for you!

4

You are a practical dreamer! You may be currently busy building your nest egg for the future.

You tend to analyze a lot before making decisions due to past experiences. Know that you’re safe now. Leave past experiences behind, especially your parents’ experiences. You are well supported and safe.

5

You’re a practical dreamer who needs a lot of physical security! You tend to acquire things that you do not need. You carry many worries in your mind and on your shoulders, many responsibilities. It’s time for you to relax and connect with your heart, and find out what you want to experience in this life other than the material.

Your spiritual self will emerge when you listen to your heart.

6

Your dreams often involve your loved one! Your romantic life is very important to you. What you’ve been looking for is not far away. What comes may not be what you’ve been expecting, but life is a journey after all, with unexpected turns. Enjoy the entire process!

You are a lovely partner to be with, vibrant and cheerful. Let your positivity spread out to all those around you like sunshine!

FROM PROFITS TO PURPOSE
Volume 16

Business In The Digital Age

Classical economic theory states that firms exist to maximize profits. In that old energy, businesses inevitably focus on profits. But in the new energy of our age, businesses which are solely driven by profits would not be able to sustain themselves in the long run because the earth and its inhabitants are awakening to a higher vibration. Awakening leads naturally to people making higher choices which lead to a more enlightened and caring society.

One aspect of this higher vibration is that people are becoming more sensitive to the integrity behind products and services provided by businesses. The new millennial consumer looks not only at the product, but also who and what produces it, and fakery will not escape them.

Rise Of The New Consumer

Yes, consumer behavior is changing. News is that more and more people are buying online and changing the retail landscape from brick and-mortar to digital stores. Malls could be in trouble if they don’t adapt to cater to the changed landscape. In another development, fewer people are buying luxury brands as the digital culture reduces outside social contact other than through the digital screen. Youngsters today are more into collectibles than branded things, they like what they buy to be unique and personal. They dare show themselves up authentically instead of “hiding” behind brands.

The New Generation

To understand the trigger of this change, we have to go back to the 1980s and after, when indigo, crystal and rainbow children were born and helping earth and humankind evolve to a higher vibration (please refer to bodymindsoul Volume 7 article “The New Generations of Children”). These children who are now adult consumers and decision-makers, with their more loving nature, are reshaping the world in ways we thought were not possible. The earth is truly evolving much faster than it ever did before because of these new generations of remarkable people.

Going into this new era, which essentially is the new future of the earth, we can see the sensitivity of the younger generation (and all future generations to come). These new generations are more heart-based, more loving, more caring and more sensitive to energy. They are also more considerate of the needs of the community and not only of themselves. They are purposeful, know exactly what they want and have the self-confidence to have what they want.

Purpose: The Golden Key

What then should the new business model be like? What can new and existing businesses do to adapt to this change in the new consumer mindset so that they can survive and prosper in this new age?

The holistic business in this new era is a business that balances profit and purpose. It is a business with an end goal that provides a benefit. That is the whole idea of building a business: it’s not really to take but to give. Thousands of examples prove that truly successful and sustainable businesses are those that provide a social benefit which gives the business a strong vision of purpose. Great examples of global brands that have thrived on a strong purposeful message are Google, Dove, Starbucks, Patagonia and The Body Shop.

It is like the difference between people: some people live their lives taking while others live their lives giving. Businesses too are like that, there are takers and there are givers. The giving businesses will of course also receive money for their efforts. But that is not the sole intention of holistic businesses: they build the business not only with the intention to make profit. Holistic businessmen build the business with a purposeful intention. They build the business to provide a value and to serve society.

Balancing Purpose & Profit

All great products come with a purpose. It is purpose that drives the plans, strategies, actions, people and systems. It is the purpose that makes the customer loyal. It is the purpose that makes the employee stay. People today do not buy what you sell, they buy why you sell it.

And yes, there are indeed businesses which are very purposeful but not profitable. It may be because they lack a good marketing plan. Or it may be due to their internal poverty mentality, where they subconsciously feel that they can’t take a profit when they have purpose. In such case, it has nothing to do with balancing between purpose and profit but with the business person having an abundance block, where the person doesn’t allow abundance to flow through. The block then manifests in his business as lack of business profit.

So running a holistic business does not mean you throw all good business practices out the window. On the contrary, it means you have to have a sharper business sense in order to balance profits and purpose. Where you already have a purposeful intention, a purposeful product or service, you need to combine them with a professional business plan, goal-setting, marketing plan and all the required entrepreneurial knowledge to propel your business to the desired profitability.

The New Employee Mindset

More and more people today are leaving their given jobs including lucrative corporate positions to look for jobs that give them greater meaning in their lives. If a company today continues to have high staff turnover, one big reason would probably be the lack of purpose to drive the staff force to continue to serve the mission of the company.

The new generation has a different mentality, they are not so much into the money, titles or positions like the previous generations. What they care about is whether they are passionate about doing what they are doing. Employers can’t threaten them for they are ready to leave anytime. It’s still about reward, but this time it’s not money first but happiness.

The world is changing. Imagine 30 years into the future where the world will be populated by these new generations. How can any company today which wants to still be around in the future not start to change now to meet that unstoppable future? If it doesn’t change and become a holistic business that’s purpose driven, there’ll be nobody working in the company!

Recruitment In The New Era

There are some businesses today which are in a “panic” because they are clueless as to what’s happening and don’t know how to manage these new breed of employees. Actually, the only way to manage them is to connect with their heart. There is no other way – rules will not govern them, fear will not threaten them – but the heart will bind them. And this is achieved through purpose. The old motivation ways just do not work anymore.

Look around and you’ll see the signs, the new job seekers are heart-based people, so can you still use traditional hierarchies to manage them? No, these people will not listen, they may not even respect you. So what makes you think they want to stay in companies that don’t cater to their needs?

The New Customer Expectation

People today do not buy products or services but the “experience”. Steve Jobs had said, “You’ve got to start with the customer experience and work back to the technology – not the other way around”, and this describes what today’s customer expectation is. Businesses today must not only provide quality products and services but with it, a customer experience that is both satisfying and fulfilling.

Another way to appeal to the new consumer is to consistently give extra value. For example, if your product is priced at one thousand ringgit, you give two thousand ringgit worth of value or its value equivalent. This is where, when bottom lines are still important, value equivalents such as purpose, exceptional customer experience, after-sale service, customer engagement, etc. come in to add value. You give more than what you take.

The Death Of Traditional Systems

The current business operations model is full of traditional systems that are designed around the task objective. The holistic business must turn systems design around – it must design systems around the heart, and not our heart around the systems as some people might think. The intention and everything else must start from the heart, and these heart-centered systems will make things more efficient and productive.

This is why current corporate social responsibility (CSR) programs are not yet holistic by our definition, because they are still traditional businesses with traditional ways of doing things, only that they put heart into what they do.

Win-Win-Win

So where do you start? Start with your community members, your colleagues, your board of directors, your staff force, your customers, your planning, your strategizing, everywhere. You just have to always question yourself, “Does it only benefit me, or does it benefit everybody involved?” You must always have a win-win-win situation inside to create a satisfying outcome for everybody, a win for you, a win for your staff force, and a win for your client. There’s always a solution for that, as long as your business is a purposeful one.

It’s A Lot Like Life

In the end, running a holistic business is like living a holistic lifestyle. It is business modelled on how you should live your life for holistic wellness in terms of health, wealth and happiness.

Putting it in the other way, your life is like a business, you must know how to present yourself (marketing), how to speak and carry yourself (sales), what value you can add to others (product), how you measure and use your given resources of time and relationships (accounting) and so on.

A holistic business is about how you live your life.

Are You Ready?

The great change is happening.

When it arrives at your doorstep, it will not be a wave, it’ll be a tsunami.

Are you ready?

ANXIETY: ROLE MODELLING TO YOUR CHILDREN
Volume 21

What Anxiety Is

What does anxiety feel like on a physical level? For some it might mean having palpitations, sweating or a throbbing headache. For others, it might involve heartburn or the urgent need to visit the bathroom.

What starts out as a thought, triggers a physical response which then causes other thoughts to escalate. This is different from generalized anxiety disorder (excessive worry about everyday events without obvious reasons for such worry) or a panic attack. If you have such chronic problems, you should seek professional help. Not everyone who is anxious is fearful.

Some people might be irritable and prone to snapping at others whenever anxiety hits them. Some mask the anxiety  completely by numbing themselves with their addiction of choice, e.g. food, alcohol and drugs. That isn’t a healthy way to handle it.

Growth Anxiety – How Children & Adults Differ

As children, we deal with change and growth quite often, generally associated with milestones in life. Change is exciting but it can also be a source of anxiety. But for the most part, we accept these changes as though it’s a normal part of life. We’re willing to try, even more so when we’re encouraged.

However, it’s easy to get complacent being an adult; as having been “elevated” to that status seems to grant us the privilege of living life on our terms. What are those terms anyway? Are the choices we make based on fear? Are we making choices with our best self in mind? There are ways around situations or scenarios that trigger anxiety, and no one else would be the wiser.

Dealing With Your Anxiety

Anxiety doesn’t go away just because you have built a comfortable cocoon around yourself to buffer against facing your fears. The anxiety gets projected onto various aspects of your life, making you think of worst-case scenarios and catastrophizing things that may not have bothered you as much before.

The way around it is to sit with the emotion and accept it for what it is. Realize that it’s separate and not part of the problem. Being mindful of your thoughts helps the anxiety from escalating.

Accepting the anxiety does not mean you do not do anything about it. What it means is that you do not make it part of the present problem. Separate the physical sensations of the anxiety from your mental response to them. “Okay, this feels uncomfortable but, it is just my body’s response to a stressor.” Then take a few deep breaths, breathing out the anxiety on the exhale.

Simultaneously, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” Anything better than what you feel at that point is a bonus. Now rationalize the things you could do to solve your problem. For example, if you are afraid of public-speaking, you may want to prepare yourself thoroughly so that your speech becomes second nature.

Important Lessons About Anxiety

1. It’s all right to have fears/ anxieties.

   Once you admit that to yourself, you can take the next step to overcome them. No need for false pride to get in your way.

2. How we handle those fears/ anxieties matters.

   Preparedness is always helpful. For example, when I need to drive through city traffic for an important appointment, I leave early, make sure my phone is fully charged and my car has a full tank of petrol.

3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

   Courage is being brave, despite your fears. Facing your fears is the only way out of living a boxed in, limited life. Do the thing that makes you scared. No excuses or justifications. It’s the only way to grow.

Being A Role Model To Your Children

If you’re a parent, your children should see you dealing in a positive manner with things that make you anxious. Regardless of the advice you give them, your example is your children’s best teacher in facing life head-on with resilience and positivity. Actions speak louder than words and children are constantly watching and learning from the behaviors that you model.

It’s alright to let your children know that you’re a vulnerable human being with your own fears and anxieties, just like them. We don’t become perfect once we become adults. I’m not talking about over-sharing adult problems with your children. But do let your children know when something makes you fearful and let them see you facing your fear and dealing with it instead of cowering.

This may not seem like a big deal to some people but driving into the city makes me anxious as I’m not familiar with the roads. A wrong turn could mean being stuck in traffic or taking a long detour. It so happened that recently I had to take my kids for an event in the city and I had no choice but to drive them there.

So, what did I do? I used the GPS (which multiplied my confidence level) and left with plenty of time to spare. My kids know that driving to unfamiliar places gives me high anxiety; and gave me the biggest cheer when we arrived at the destination –  with plenty of time to spare!

Do reflect on this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt as you embark on being a role model to your children.

“We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it as not as dreadful as it appears, discovering that we have the strength to stare it down.”

WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

Countless great books and articles have been written, about finding one’s purpose. Living life purposefully is the epitome of true living. I never knew what that even meant, let alone knowing what mine was, until a few short years ago.

Where’s Love?

My earliest memory of my grandmother was when I was 8 years old. She told me that I was adopted into the family. I remember her watching my expression carefully and gently said, “I know you must be feeling very angry and sad right now. I don’t blame you. If you feel like you want to go back to your parents….”  Her voice broke off momentarily before she continued, “If you want to go back, I won’t be angry at you.”

My little heart was crushed, not just because I had learned that I was adopted, but also because I couldn’t bear to leave her. I was not brought up in an environment where love was expressed verbally. However, that moment taught me how to feel love and I felt the strongest urge to protect it.  She has shown me a love that I cannot articulate into words.

Shattered

Venturing into the world with a broken lens and a misguided spirit, my road to self-destruction caught up with me when I learned of my grandmother’s death at the age of 17 while I was studying in Melbourne, Australia.

In that moment, all of my old wounds of childhood physical and mental trauma resurfaced.

I felt incomplete, dispirited, unloved, and I was wallowing in self-pity.

Why me?

If I was normal like everyone else with a proper Mom and Dad, all these travesties wouldn’t have happened. I would not have been abused by a family member. I wouldn’t be an outcast or the black sheep of the family. And it’s extremely likely I would not have partied with drugs and alcohol to numb the pain of the emotions I was going through on the daily. At least, that’s how I used to think and feel.

Quest For Love

I continued on my quest for self-validation, love, and acceptance as I grew older.

I was seeking happiness and love outside of myself. Constantly searching for that elusive knight in shining armor, expecting him to promptly arrive by the window of my soul on his exquisite white stallion and of course, romantically sweeping me off my feet.

Desperation or disillusioned? I didn’t care because I was longing for a safe space of love and wishing I was worthy of love. However, a question that I should have asked myself, had I been wiser at the time was — “Am I worthy of my love and acceptance of myself?” The answer would have obviously been, “No.”

Love Is…

How do we define love? Some may say it’s the “happily ever after, white picket fence” idea. Others may suggest it’s “knowing you’d do anything for that person and they’d do the same for you”.

But is that the type of love that we actually want?

Through many life lessons and failed relationships, I realized that to place the power and expectation in another person’s hand for my happiness isn’t love at all. It is an unrealistic and a burden of responsibility on the other person.

Love begins with you, where love resides, where the heart is. It starts by you loving you. When you no longer expect or demand love from someone, other than yourself, you’re free to attract true love, in my opinion.

You see, we have been subconsciously programmed from a young age, through the movies we watch, the romance novels we read, and social conditioning of our environments, including our friends and family of what love is. And it’s likely a distorted view, much like my own.

Understand Love

As I reflect on my younger years, I now understand that with every episode of pain, challenge and failure, there is always a lesson to learn. This has also served me as invaluable wisdom and compassion for another person suffering. To understand and appreciate their feelings of helplessness, loss, being unloved, rebelliousness, and shame.

So how do we change the story of our pain so that it fuels us to become more resilient, stronger, and grow? I feel we need to heal by remembering to enjoy the journey. We must not allow these mistakes to become limiting beliefs and negative self-talk, which is what we’ve done for many years, if you’re anything like me. This will truly allow you to stop bottling up these emotions and to truly take charge of your life and the outcomes you’d prefer to experience. That will be your bonfire.

We are humans and yes, we make mistakes, but mistakes don’t make us bad people. We are simply misunderstood, people often don’t have the full picture. And so it is important that we seek to first understand ourselves so we can better educate others, through clear, concise communication.

Love Story

Every one of us has a unique story.

Living in a world of duality, there is an exact equal and opposite side to every story. We hold the key to choose to turn those stories from negative to positive. This will truly empower us to propel forward into a very bright future…

Or, we allow and justify our past stories and allow the life, people and circumstances around us to dictate how we live. Of course, this is extremely detrimental for us and very likely to attract more of the negative elements to continue showing up for us.

As the old adage goes;

When you have healed your past, you tell the story differently.

Remember, you have the capacity and capability to heal yourself, for we are truly the very essence of love itself. These are our birthrights; Self-love, abundance, prosperity, peace, and with these adhered to, I feel a healthy mind, body and soul are rightfully yours.

Let’s embrace and live life to the fullest, because there is likely no take two.

I am doing the same. I have healed much of my past and I focus on the positive aspects I would prefer to experience. I continue to invest in my internal growth as I know it will always translate into my outer world and that world is full of love.

IS FOOD SUSTAINABILITY THE HOPE FOR OUR FUTURE?
Volume 15

The Industrial Revolution & Consciousness

Much of the awakening of our consciousness has to do with breaking out of a certain mold that humanity has been fixed in since the Industrial Revolution.

The values that are typical of this system include mass production, efficiency and hierarchical forms of control and management. This industrial model relates and is applied to almost all aspects of human affairs today from our personal health to spirituality.

What I want to focus on is how the industrial model has been applied to agriculture and our food system, what damage it has brought about, and how something called “permaculture” may be an answer.

The Industrial Revolution & Agriculture

Thousands of years ago, the first agricultural revolution took place when mankind made their first settlements and discovered subsistence agriculture.

Then in the mid-20th century, as a global hunger crisis was looming, a second agricultural revolution was started. This saw the use of chemically enhanced fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides and fungicides, which were used on the soil and harvest. Thanks to modern science, agricultural output increased dramatically, and a mass agriculture industry took off.

For decades, the methods of Big Farming were uncontested. But now, it has become clear that these methods, which came from the industry complex, have caused a great loss to the environment. Excessive use of agrochemicals, ploughing, overgrazing and monoculture farms have caused a massive degradation of perhaps the most precious ground resource of all: the top soil.

Life At The Top: The Story Of Soil

Our top soil is our source of food; it is our life support system. A rich soil system can provide generations of crops full of nutrition and should retain water well. On the other hand, a poor soil system, devoid of microorganisms and nutrients, will allow water to flow through as waste, and eventually becomes dust.

According to Professor John Crawford, Chair of Sustainable Agriculture, University of Sydney, some 40% of the present world’s top soil is already classified as degraded or severely degraded.

The present ways of agriculture end up depleting the soil at 10 to 40 times the rate at which it is replenished. Based on the current trajectory, as per Professor Crawford, we may only have 60 years’ worth of top soil left. Sadly, though, the loss of top soil hasn’t yet become headline news, despite the fact that without viable top soil, our entire food system and human survival may be at risk. This contrasts with the considerable attention given to oil supplies and prices in the media on a daily, if not hourly, basis.

Permaculture – Hope For The Future

Permaculture is a philosophy of working with, rather than against nature… of looking at plants and animals in all their functions, rather than treating any area as a single product system. (Bill Mollison, “Father” of Permaculture.)

Permaculture is a sustainable design methodology which can be applied to farming sites in different climates. The basic foundation of permaculture is to design your sites in such a way so as to consume as little external resources as possible, and give back as much to the soil as you take away. Pioneered first in Australia in the 1970s, permaculture offers some solutions to the excesses of farming today.

Permaculture is founded on the 3 ethics of:

1. Earth care (treating the Earth with care as a living entity),
2. People care (meeting people’s needs in humane and concerned ways), and
3. Fair share (sharing abundance with others).

Permaculture employs a variety of principles and tools to shape the landscape and achieve yield from our farm systems without causing ecological damage. Permaculture is meant to work with Nature rather than rendering Nature as a mere object to be exploited for short-term gain, as was the industrial way of thinking.

The Industrial Revolution & Consciousness

Permaculture involves, amongst others, the following key practices:

• Permaculture places a huge importance on maintaining and replenishing soil. This is done through proper waste management, using a diversity of crops rather than monoculture, having a sustainable water supply and irrigation system, creating composting cycles, and avoiding agrochemicals.

• The issue of soil is especially urgent in tropical climates such as Malaysia where the top soil is quite thin and tends to wash off easily. The central idea is that your farm system should have a net gain in terms of soil and harvest rather than be in perpetual loss.

• Permaculture places a lot of emphasis on observation of patterns found in Nature and using biomimicry. Bio-habitats have evolved complex systems that humans can take inspiration from when they plan their design. A common example in permaculture is to look at the contours on a landscape and see how the overall design can be adapted to suit the present terrain.

Permaculture as a science is still in many ways in a growing phase and its full potential has yet to be explored. But I firmly believe that it sits in comfortably with the spirit of those seeking an alternative path to redress the excesses of current ways. Is permaculture the answer to sustainable food production? It just may be.

THE WISE BUTTERFLY’S WAY TO A HEALING
Volume 12

Many children, including some of us, were once bullied at school. Apart from reporting to the school administrators, your child also needs your support emotionally. There may be a combination of emotions that children feel in the event of being bullied. Anger, feelings of injustice, isolation and sadness are the most common emotions that may appear.

Nowadays, children often keep things buried deep in their heart. They avoid telling parents many things, especially as they approach the challenging teen years. This is why parents need to motivate them to speak up. Here are some ways that you can work on that.

Step 1

Parents of a bullied child need to handle their own emotions first before they can assist the child. You can’t bring her out of her emotional state when you yourself are feeling emotional.

Finding peace and having a compassionate heart is the first step for parents. Accept that it is your child’s journey to learn to express, to stand up for herself and to learn to be compassionate as you too learn along with them.

Step 2

When you have found peace and love in your heart, guide your child to express her emotions. Lend a caring ear whilst being as attentive as possible. Some children stop sharing because parents don’t seem to be interested when they speak. This is one of the reasons they feel discouraged and stop sharing anything at all. Once you are aware of the bullying in school, gently prompt your child to describe what happened. If this doesn’t work, try a different approach. Share your own experiences of being bullied, of someone else’s experience or even of a bullying incident you witnessed. Highlight the lessons learnt from them. Work on creating an open communication channel with your child.

Here’s the simple rule – in order for them to open up to you, you have to be open with them first!

Step 3

Guide your child to accept what has happened. Accepting doesn’t mean that we are in agreement with what the bully did. It’s more about accepting them as who they are and leaving the past in the past. We wouldn’t know what the bully has gone through at home. Maybe they grew up in an abusive environment or they came from a broken family. See the bullies through the gentle lens of love.

The only way to stop the bullying that happens with your child is to heal the emotions that they have stored in their body. This is the reason why they keep attracting bullies in their lives. To change the situations, they have to change their emotions and to forgive!

Wise Butterfly Meditation

A gentle fun meditation can be used to help a bullied child. You may guide your child through the process shown below, or join her as a way to motivate her to do it.

1. Prepare a safe space for your child and you to meditate.
2. Guide her to sit cross-legged. Ensure her back is straight.
3. Get her to take a deep breath that goes all the way into her belly, expanding like a balloon. Hold the breath for awhile. Then breathe out slowly.
4. Ask her to take 10 deep breaths with eyes closed. Give a word of praise if she is doing it correctly.
5. Encourage her to imagine herself becoming a wise butterfly that’s flying back to the bullying incident. As the wise butterfly, what is her message for herself ? Can she feel love and forgive everyone involved?
6. See this wise butterfly flipping magical glitter from its wings. The glitter is falling on everyone in the vision, blessing them with peace and love!
7. Ask her to take one final deep breath. Then, she should give a big smile, come back to the room and open up her eyes.

HOW TO BE AT PEACE DURING A TRAFFIC JAM
Volume 13

If you live in any big city, being stuck in slow traffic during rush hour would probably be a daily grind. Impatience, anger and frustration will not help you arrive at your destination any sooner. But, what if there are ways in which you can arrive at your destination happier, more peaceful and more positive throughout the day?

Here’s How

1. Relax! The key word here is arriving safely. Before you even start the car engine, tell yourself that this journey is going to be relaxing and calm, no matter what happens on the road. You can stick a note (“I am inner peace”) in front of you to remind yourself of the peace that you are.
2. Accept that traffic jams are a part of life in the city. See the situation as a gift of opportunity to allow you to practice and develop inner peace, acceptance, tolerance, patience and detachment.
3. Use the time given to manifest a positive and happy outcome for the upcoming meeting you are heading to via positive visualization. Make sure you can do this in a few seconds without closing your eyes!
4. Enjoy the time spent alone in your vehicle and in your own space. Blast your favorite music and sing out loud with full emotions. Take this opportunity to bring out those creative vibes. You’ll be amazed at how this can easily raise your vibration for a productive work day and even when you get home.
5. Graciously allowing a couple of vehicles to pass ahead of you will make you feel good for making someone else’s day a better one. Giving way is “giving” which releases endorphins which are the “feel good” bio-chemicals in our body.
6. When you are suddenly aware of your flaring emotion, take 3 deep breaths and be aware of the “gift” to realize what we need learn. Go back to tip #2.

“Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment. This includes every mosquito. Every misfortune. Every red light, every traffic jam. Every obnoxious supervisor (or employee). Every illness. Every loss. Every moment of joy or depression. Every addiction. Every piece of garbage. Every breath. Every moment is the Guru.” ~ Joko Beck.

RECYCLING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Volume 13

The Waste That We Face

It feels that in recent times we have become an avaricious society with scant regard for the wellbeing of our beautiful planet, our Mother Earth. We discard tons and tons of our rubbish in landfills, and when those landfills become filled, we build humongous incinerators that spew toxic greenhouse gases into the air that we breathe, pollution which also contaminates our drinking water & food. This then becomes a serious health threat to us, our children, our pets & all species of plants and animals on Earth.

We Can Change Things

Over the last decade, there has been growing awareness on the importance of recycling & we are absolutely delighted to hear that people are indeed waking up and realizing that if we mess up Earth, there is no other planet we can live on. Not in the near future anyway! Hence the clarion call to save our planet.

We have no one to blame for this state of affairs except ourselves! But it’s not too late. We can remedy this. We just have to decide that we can and will be the change!

Healing Earth Starts With Healing Ourselves

Guardians of Mother Earth agrees that people should physically recycle as much stuff as we can, or re-use and re-purpose for the longevity and wellbeing of our planet. At the same time, we also believe other than doing these external actions, there is something more we can do for a longer-lasting impact on the planet’s health.

Recycling Our Negative Thoughts

This process starts with being more aware of our habitual thought and emotional patterns. The next is “recycling” our negative thoughts and emotions and turn them into positive thoughts and emotions.

According to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at the University of Southern California, the average person has about 48.6 thoughts per minute, or a total of 70,000 thoughts per day. Multiply that by our current population of 7 billion, and you can figure out how many thoughts are thought by human beings in a day.

The question we must ask ourselves is, “How many of our daily thoughts are negative?” You can then arrive at the amount of negative thoughts that can be recycled and the amount of good that would come to humanity and the planet if all of our collective negative thoughts were recycled to positive thoughts.

What Happens When We Are Positive

Being positive conserves our energy. On the other hand, thinking negative leaves us feeling drained and exhausted.

Just imagine if all of us consciously watched our thoughts, became more aware of the negative and recycled them to positive ones. From just “thinking positive”, we become positive.

We desperately need more positivity on our planet today! Not just for ourselves, but for Mother Earth too!

We Are The Caretakers

The actual magic happens when we understand that we are sacred caretakers of this beautiful planet and acknowledge the interconnectedness and interdependency of everything on Earth.

Every little thing we do has an effect on our planet. With this insight, we open our hearts, outpouring love & appreciation for being a part of this grand and magnificent ecosystem. In this vibration, this consciousness, we start the process of healing ourselves as a species, healing Mother Earth and healing all who reside in her.

UNLEASHING YOUR LIMITLESS POTENTIAL IN A JIFFY!
Volume 15

Lost your mojo lately? Feeling left behind in life, with no motivation to get up from bed in the morning? Well, here’s the good news: you are only a few decisions and actions away to turn things around quickly and easily!

1. Persist

Whatever you do, persist and never give up. Obstacles are for us to overcome and learn from.

Hit the reset button, even if you have reached what you feel is your ultimate low. This time, commit to taking small baby steps daily toward your objectives. Build on small successes and congratulate yourself every time you take a step forward so you feel good about yourself and remain positive and motivated.

Regularly watch motivational YouTube videos such as those from Team Fearless or Fearless Motivation to inspire and motivate yourself. These videos will help you connect back with your power and purpose.

2. Energy Levels

Being light in the body and feeling energized are very important as your body is what you use for your daily activities and to achieve your life goals. Eat lean, green and light. Have 3-quarter filled meals and eat fresh organic food. Drink sufficient water for your body to fight fatigue, boost its energy and operate at prime efficiency.

Exercise for energy instead of burning your body out at a gym. One quick exercise to immediately boost your energy level is a breathing exercise called “Breath of Fire” which only takes a short 15 minutes to perform.

Spend time alone with nature’s powerful energies to connect with the earth’s electromagnetic forces and recharge your own qi. This can be done any time of the day. At the same time, connect inwardly with your inner self as well.

3. Your Belief, Your Reality

Do you believe that you have what it takes to achieve your goals, to be the best and really, really successful? That you have the innate talents and abilities, skills and desire to do what is needed to succeed? You must, because when you truly believe these things, you will start to act positively. With positive action, you will magically find opportunities coming to you to help manifest your dreams.

The key to reaching your limitless potential is to adopt a limitless mindset. What do you chose to believe?

5 POWERFUL STEPS TO SELF-CONFIDENCE
Volume 4

How Being Compared Erodes Our Confidence

It is often that feeling small comes from past experiences when we were compared against our siblings by parents or with our classmates by teachers. Being judged and told that our efforts were never good enough, no matter how hard we tried, made us feel unworthy.

These disappointments and the sense of “failing” or “not measuring up to” in our then immature minds diminished our confidence in everything we did, and we tend to carry this belief even as adults.

We just need to realize that as human beings, we are continually learning and growing. There is no shame in “failing” and each and everyone is worthy of love and respect.

How To Overcome The Lack Of Confidence

Practice the following steps to start developing your self-confidence. Change may not happen overnight; but practice makes perfect, so practice diligently and feel the magic unfold.

STEP 1 – BE POSITIVE

Being positive is a mindset and a choice. Focus on solutions instead of problems. Replace every negative thought with two positive thoughts. Condition yourself to practice this as a daily habit. Speak positively by using positive words.

Do you notice how we often tend to be discouraged by the people who are closest to us? Stay away from negative friends who always put you down every time you share your dreams and ideas. If they are family members, explain to them why you appreciate their support to enable you to reach your goal with confidence. Do not allow anyone or anything to hold you back from living your life. Surround yourself with positive people who offer you support, encouragement and who bring out the best in you. Positive people help you feel awesome and capable of going through your fears and insecurities.

STEP 2 – CHANGE YOUR IMAGE

Remember how it felt the first time you put on a new dress or a pair of new shoes? How that made you feel as if you were glowing from inside out, feeling confident, beautiful and somewhat… very successful? Recall that feeling and project that emotion daily as you dress up and walk out into the world.

Put on your favorite outfit especially when you need to nail that interview or close that sale. Go the extra mile…style your hair, put on some make-up. The trick is to have your self-confidence shine from within. People who come into contact with your auric field will sense the confidence in you. Remember to accept the compliments you will receive with a cheerful “thank you”.

Your “body language” can go a long way in helping you develop self-confidence. Walk tall, shoulders back and relaxed, chin up and speak slowly and clearly. Always make eye contact with the other person you are communicating with and most importantly, smile at everyone you meet.

A beautiful smile is contagious. A smile promotes reflective behavior and in almost all cases, instantly makes the other person feel good and smile back at you. A genuine happy smile is like sunshine to humanity. It releases “feel good” endorphins and people feel better in both mind and body after smiling. One may not even do it sincerely to begin with, but the gesture will be taken by almost all people to be a friendly one. “Fake it till you make it” as the saying goes. Because it makes people react to you positively, a smile gets you your self-confidence.

STEP 3 – BE COURAGEOUS & BE PERSISTENT

Due to our past experiences of being reprimanded or even punished every time we “failed”, we began to lose our self-esteem and self-worth. From then on, the fear of failing influences our decision to give up before we even try.

We are only human, so know that it’s okay to fall and fail or even be wrong at times. Life is about the “journey” and for many it’s quite a bumpy ride. However, it is how we pick ourselves up again after each “fall” that matters. In a very real way, if we choose to recover from it, falling actually makes us stronger, wiser and most importantly, more confident to face the same issue again and defeat it eventually.

Do you remember “Weeble Wobbles”, the toy that keeps itself upright no matter how you try to push it down? Bounce back from your mistakes because bouncing back is what makes us who we are today. We can all relate to difficult situations which happened to us years ago which we eventually overcame and which we have a good laugh about today. Don’t all those difficulties seem small now that time has passed and we find that we have grown much bigger than those past difficulties?

Be courageous, never give up and never bow to failure. There is always a solution to every problem. There’s nothing that the universe gives you that you can’t handle. Make this your mantra today – “I now take courage to move forward no matter what. I will learn from my past mistakes and never give up”.

A wise spiritual mentor I know said, “Laying a brick a day makes a solid wall in a year”. Take baby steps every day, as long as you move forward.

STEP 4 – FACE YOUR FEAR

Every time you face a challenge, immediately become aware of your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Recognize your insecurity. What makes you uncomfortable, inferior or ashamed of yourself?

For instance, when you are feeling small, unworthy or low in self-esteem, stop what you are doing and reflect. Realize why you are having the feeling. Trace its source (how it started), which usually is a negative or traumatic past experience. Take a few deep breaths to come out of this mental loop of fear and frustration.

After feeling calm, mentally tell yourself “I am not this fear. This is just a memory of it. I acknowledge you and I choose to let you go as you no longer serve me”. Say this to yourself as many times as you wish until you feel the fear or negative feeling dissipate.

This exercise is just a guide to help you realize that you do not need to relive your past fears again and again. At the end of the day, it is really your choice to decide to let a fear go or not. Do not let fear control your life. Take charge and choose not to be a victim but a victor. Fears arise in our lives for us to face them so that ultimately, we get our freedom again when we overcome them.

So, go beyond your fears and discomfort. As we face and conquer each fear, the process expands our understanding and emotional response to the fear situation and this expanded awareness overrides the initial level of fear. You may even realize that the situation wasn’t such a big deal after all! Just like how I failed to get myself to get inside of a car again after my first major accident. But I knew I had to drive again, otherwise I would have to use the public transport for the rest of my life! To overcome my fear of driving, I resorted to first just starting the car engine without moving at all. I did that for a few days after which I progressed to slowly driving for a few blocks around the neighborhood.

Then I drove more and farther until I was confident enough to drive normally again. I now drive like I am behind the wheel of a sports car, or so my friends say! Looking back, I wondered how I could have allowed the fear to control me for even that few short weeks.

STEP 5 – STOP COMPARING

A common belief most of us have is that we are never good enough. We are never satisfied as we are always comparing ourselves with others. But guess what? We will never be perfect. We can only do our best. The 100% effort made with dedication, combined with love and passion, will always be the best we can do. With that, we can truly say, “I’ve done my best and it’s ok because I am proud of myself no matter what the outcome is”.

Trying to be perfect is living in fear. Fear of never being good enough, of being judged or of being wrong. But at most times, it is we who are judging ourselves. Let go of the desire to be perfect. Stop comparing yourself with others. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, taller or richer. We are all different because we are all unique individuals, with different strengths and talents. Focus only on advancing your own goals and dreams.

MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT REGRET

Do not allow the lack of confidence to stop you from moving forward. Take the next brave step!

The popular saying “live life to the fullest” says it all. Spending your days dwelling on a negative past event with regret and self-pity will only put more energy into that event. In reality, that event does not exist anymore. It exists only as a memory in your head that you continuously re-live and remorse over. Start making the choice to be the best you can be with no regret. If you fall, pick yourself up and move forward, but this time wiser and stronger.

A friend once said, “I’d rather sit in a rocking chair in my old age, laugh at myself and proudly tell my life’s stories to my grandchild, than live with regret thinking, ‘what if’…”

YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE
Volume 29

Attention & Attraction

Volumes have been written about the power of thought and how an individual is capable of having almost anything he or she desires.

Whether it is love, work, honesty, sincerity, happiness, career, abundance, or recognition, it all depends on the type of attention, energy and thought you focus on or give out and it will become your reality. In essence, whatever you put your attention on becomes a reality in your life because you attract things, people and situations of a similar “vibration” as you.

Today, this formula is described as a popular phrase “Law of Attraction”, which has become a craze following several books published on the subject.

Thoughts & Frequencies

In the study of metaphysics, the Universe is essentially energy that vibrates at a certain frequency and each person is vibrating at a particular frequency called the aura.

The aura, which we pulsate is determined by our thoughts and feelings and it is vital that we ensure the quality of our aura is maintained in the frequency of harmony at all times.

We should think of ourselves as a transmission tower, broadcasting the frequencies of our thoughts into the Universe. Change your frequency, via a change in your thoughts, and you can virtually become a new person who attracts different people and circumstances into your life.

According to this Law of the Universe, it works whether you know it or not, or whether you believe in it or not. It does not matter and the Law works the same for everyone.

When you exercise changing your frequency consciously, amazing possibilities emerge and you not only think your life into existence but also experience things unfolding miraculously.

Health, Wealth & More

According to psychological studies and research, people who are wealthy think only thoughts of more wealth. They only know wealth, and nothing else exists in their minds.

This is not a secret as from young, I had been taught by my elders on the importance of doing anything I undertake with focus, full faith and respect.

This is what the Law of Attraction stresses on and an individual need not have to know how the Universe will provide what he or she wants; all he or she requires is faith that it will be so, and it will become so.

No Ifs And Buts

In life, we have to trust our will but most people never ask for what they want because they cannot see how it could possibly come to them. If you keep wondering about the “how” or you keep doubting, the message you are giving out to the Universe is anxiety and doubt which may be what you get in return!

Love & Gratitude

Whatever we do, we should conduct the task with positive thoughts and mindset, and in a state of love and gratitude because all these actions create the vibration that can only attract more good things and situations into our lives.

This should be our way of life, also known as the art of living, because love and gratitude are two powerful energies that can move mountains and produce miraculous results.

It is vital that we focus on what we are seeking for and not on what we think we are not having enough.

In short, our words, feelings, emotions and actions must be positive and fixated on the result. The 3 words that one should eliminate from his vocabulary are “no”, “don’t”, and “cannot” because these words emit negative vibrations.

What Are You Thinking?

Most of us keep negative thoughts daily in our minds until it has become a habit. We should make a commitment to change that.

We need to begin watching our thoughts and the easiest way to do this is to note how we are feeling.

When we are feeling good, we are thinking thoughts that are affirming the things that we want in our life and sending positive manifestation energy out into the Universe.

When we are feeling bad, we are holding negative energy and having thoughts that are not in our best interest.

An individual attracts “bad luck” if his thoughts are negative e.g. blaming others when things don’t turn out as expected. By doing so that individual is stopping success from reaching him.

People fear their enemy when they go out not realizing that their enemy is within because everything that appears outside is created inside.

I would like to share with you 3 easy steps to manifest your desires.

3-STEP MANIFESTATION

The Law of Attraction is not a method for getting rich quickly without doing anything. It requires mental work, focus and visualization, and the willingness to follow the mental power with required actions on the physical plane.

Step 1:

Ask – the Universe. You must be crystal clear about what you want.

Step 2:

Believe – act, speak and think as though you have already received what you ask for.

Step 3:

Receive – feel great that it is coming to you. Feeling good sets up the necessary vibration to manifest the desire.

Asking for what you want is, “like placing an online order from a catalog”. You place the order once then wait expectantly for the item to arrive.

When buying online from a catalog, you do not place an order and then place another one in case the first one does not arrive. Ask once, and do so as if you know what you have asked for is on its way.

LET YOURSELF BE HEARD!
Volume 9

This is the biggest challenge I am facing today. When I speak, people do not hear. When I write, people do not respond to me.

I am expressing myself but it seems that I just become invisible. It appears as though my thoughts don’t matter, that no one cares what I have to say or they just simply believe that my thoughts are so irrelevant that they can ignore me.

Look Inside Us

Why is this situation happening? Usually I turn outward and declare it to be their fault. I dismiss the people around me by saying, “Ahh, let them be. If they don’t want to see my point, then I don’t care.” It is so easy to blame them or believe that they are the ones who fail to understand me. That maybe they think my opinions aren’t helpful or useful.

I know that if I analyze it deeply I will find that it is merely a reflection of me.  That I believe this truth to be so, that in return people around me dismiss my opinions and choose not to listen to me.

I realize I am the one who thinks that I am irrelevant, that I am not good enough, that my thoughts and opinions don’t matter.

My Past Experience

When I was growing up, my well-meaning parents didn’t acknowledge my achievements. That made me believe that my achievements were unworthy. Instead of a loving “Well done!”, I just heard cold silence. Perhaps their generation was always too tired and they were constantly worried about making ends meet and so on.

So, I grew up lacking in self-confidence. Even today, when someone comments on how my words have touched them, I find it very hard to accept it. My tears flow as it strikes me deeply that I am heard and acknowledged.

I know that I suppress my thoughts and opinions often as I myself judge them to be not good enough. Occasionally when I do voice out my thoughts, it is met with silence. It then reinforces my feeling of lack. The cycle then repeats as I continue to choose to keep quiet to avoid the pain of rejection.

The First Steps To Being Heard

1. Let It Go

My current spiritual journey has led me to meet many people who commented on how my throat chakra is blocked and that I am suppressing myself. In order to break free, I must speak out.

As Elsa in Frozen belts out, “Let It Go!”, the thought of doing that makes my heart pound, my palms drip sweat and my mouth dry up. But you know what?

It gets easier and easier each time I practice it. I haven’t been able to stop the fear totally yet, but I know practice makes perfect. One day, the fear will simply vanish like a wisp of smoke.

2. Calm The Fear

This trick bolsters up my courage. Take deep breaths before speaking. Calm the mind and the pounding heart. Being calmer helps control the fear. Put that fear into an imaginary tiny box and store it away. Then speak out. For me, the fear is then no longer overwhelming, allowing me to focus on my message.

3. Ask For Support

Say a prayer and ask for Divine help. Pray for help to conquer your fear and  express your true self. When you believe that you aren’t alone, you will find innate strength to do the things that you normally aren’t able to. One day it will become second nature to tap into that inner strength!

4. Practise What You Need To Say

Sometimes it is easier to write it out and rehearse it repeatedly. Work on it until you can stand up and say it with calm conviction. Do it without the script but keep pointers in your hand just in case your mind suddenly empties out. This reduces that lack of self-confidence.

5. Speak The Truth

When you know that you are speaking from your true self, it carries deep conviction. When it is the truth, you will feel good about speaking out and will not doubt it. People around you will hear that and acknowledge it. I know because I have received similar acknowledgements.

6. Celebrate Letting Go

Finally, when you are able to let it go, acknowledge it to yourself ! Say out loud that you are finally expressing your voice and opinions. Let that joy spread through your body and sink in deeply so that you can continue speaking your truth! Don’t let it be hidden anymore.

Everyone has something to say and everyone’s thoughts are equally important. Believe in yourself ! We all carry our own wisdom that shouldn’t be shut away. But do it with love. Speak out in a gentle manner even when it is something harsh. That way, it will be heard and it will be easier to be accepted.

So go out there and speak your truth! Remember that tiny box? Smash it to smithereens. You owe it to yourself!

MAKING PEACE WITH RETRENCHMENT
Volume 15

Inseparable From My Work

The news about our retrenchment started through the “grapevine”, but I shrugged it off as a joke whilst continuing to work hard. Back then, my head was fully occupied with work-related matters, from the moment I woke up until I fell asleep. There were always undone, potentially missed or improperly executed tasks either on my end or my colleagues’ end.

I never really had weekends. Simple pleasures like reading the papers seemed like a time-wasting activity to me. I barely had a social life and spent little time with family members. I had let work dominate my life and everything that defined me had something to do with my work.

One Swift Blow

Unfortunately, the grapevine turned out to be true. Everyone got worried, but not me, because I was under the false assumption that my hard work protected me, that I would be the last one the company would retrench. I also thought that I was tough emotionally, that I wouldn’t be affected even if I was on the list. Besides, there were plenty of jobs at other companies.

Then, events unfolded in turbo mode. In a half-dreamy state, my colleagues and I went through the official town hall style of announcing the retrenchments, received our letters in private sessions and attended sombre farewell lunches. Since I was among the first few to leave the company, I had insufficient time to successfully nail another job.

At Home And Alone

Reality only hit hard when I woke up from my bed, day after day, with nowhere to go. In between meals, washroom visits, frantic job hunting and reading, I just laid on my bed, staring at the rotating ceiling fan. My mind was empty while my emotions were running wild. My life seemed chaotic and out of control.

The retrenchment was shocking and traumatic, and I tried very hard to deny it. A part of me insisted that I was fine, even convincing myself that I was just taking an extended leave to indulge in my much neglected writing hobby.

The Plunge

However, as I sat down in front of the keyboard, the frustration, anger and resentment welled up in me. I questioned why I was chosen as one of the first few to leave and not others. I felt hurt and betrayed at not being kept longer on the payroll. I even bargained with the Universe. I wished and prayed for a miracle; perhaps management would change their mind and request that I return to work.

Eventually I entered into depression. I slept with knotted eyebrows and looked like a dead fish. My mind kept repeating two words in the retrenchment letter, “excess and redundant”, until I believed that I was really an excess and a redundant human being in this world! My self-esteem plummeted. I viewed myself as being useless, not good enough for anything and having no future. Day after day, these thoughts hit me whilst I stared at that rotating fan.

Moving On

But a part of me knew that I had to move on in life. I wanted to understand what was happening to me emotionally, and I did so after researching on the Internet. The decision finally came for me to make peace with my circumstances. I accepted the fact that I was retrenched. It was not something that could be undone nor should I continue to be depressed for the rest of my life. I had to get over it if I was ever to live out the rest of my life meaningfully! And I did get over it.

Grateful For What I Became

Today, I no longer see retrenchment as a bad thing or a smudge in my resume. Instead, I am grateful. Retrenchment forced me to reflect on life and reconnect with my inner self. The realization that I was really not happy working the way I did finally hit me.

Somehow, being a perfectionist cum-workaholic had made me blind to other wonderful and crucial aspects of life. I had long forgotten how to love, smile and laugh from my heart. I had been neglecting my friends and family members. At work, I often exerted anger to intimidate others, with harsh speech and words. No wonder some colleagues had shunned me!

Most importantly, retrenchment helped me to rediscover my love for writing. Sharing the vulnerable side of me with others in the written word is a humbling and therapeutic process. Without retrenchment, I would not be writing this article. I hope that my little story can help many of you out there who are facing the same inevitability as I did many years ago. Life always gives us a second chance, and the second chance may just be the one that you’re looking for.

UNPLUG YOUR ANGER
Volume 8 

What Anger Really Means

Anger is like a fever. Just as a fever is an indicator that there is something wrong with your body, anger in itself is a powerful indicator that there is something wrong in your life. It shows that something in your life is not healthy or good for you anymore, be it a relationship or the level of stress in your work.

Anger & Your Relationship

Who you get angry at also tells you about the condition of your relationship with this person. Some would hold back their anger until they get home, only to take it out on their loved ones because they feel (regardless of whether they realize this or not) that no matter what they do, these people would still love them. Or perhaps they feel that they somehow “own” their family and thus have the right to do or say anything to them.

Anger Can Be Useful

Anger can make us learn and grow. Without it we would not feel the full range of human emotions, for example, we would not appreciate peace and forgiveness. It is needed to trigger important changes to be made in certain aspects in our lives. It may also show that we need to set up boundaries. Doing so ensures we don’t give too much to others without taking care of ourselves first. Anger may be an indication that we have taken too much on our plate resulting in stress and exhaustion.

The Futility Of Suppressing Anger

Often people suppress their anger, especially women. But that merely turns it inwards, letting the power of this emotion attack your spirit, as well as chip away at your self-worth. It is time to admit that anger cannot be contained. Doing that merely traps it, just waiting to be released again. The good news is that you can “depower” it, reducing its impact on your decisions, behavior and life as a whole. In fact you can even pull the plug totally after you have mastered this strategy. But let us take one step at a time.

Making Room For Anger

So is it better then to let it all out? Or have a cathartic experience second-handedly by watching a really violent show? Violence is then  glorified and justified as being needed to save the day and make everyone feel better. This strategy has made “Anger Rooms” all the rage.

Lest you think they were the brainchild of a typical hormonally-charged male, you should know that they were created by an American woman named Donna Alexander, and has since 2008, become a phenomenon across Serbia, Russia and Canada. In fact, as reported by The Edge, 80% of the customers are women, aged 18 to 40 years, in all professions, from students, housewives to professionals.

You Are In Charge, Not The Anger

A while back, I joined an organization where I was often made to feel small, inadequate and powerless by a highly-placed group of people. At the same time, I was told that I was an important asset to the company because of my experience and credentials. I was never given any decision-making power or recognition because I was told that the rewards I received as personal satisfaction and personal development should be enough. However by not being allowed much say, I could not grow.

It took me awhile to realize that I was being manipulated by these persons, because I had a fear of abandonment. I was afraid that my friends would not need me anymore if I did not give them what they asked for – money, time, contacts, etc. I felt that they were not concerned about my personal development and success.

My confusion at the situation soon turned into anger. I suppressed this feeling because I mistakenly assumed that expressing this anger would show that I could not control my emotions. That it was a sign that I was never going to be good enough for them. I was small and powerless but that was because I made myself so. So, the first step always starts by taking back your power. Empowering yourself. Believe that you are in charge, not your anger.

One Day At A Time

Always remember that there are ways to handle anger and anger has some beneficial lessons. Make your peace with anger, one day at a time.

4 Step Strategy To Pull The Plug On Anger

Let this strategy become your daily practice so that you can MASTER your anger and thus your emotions. When you can master all your emotions, you can – pull the plug on your anger!

1. Stop feeding your anger by giving it too much attention. Tell your monkey mind to stop chattering as you have important stuff to do. Live in the NOW. The anger you are feeling, was “just now”, meaning it’s over. Do not carry it over and affect other things in your life.Easier said than done, sure, but remember the energy you wasted by re-running the negative thoughts in your mind is keeping you from working out solutions for NOW!
2. Allow in-formation – say what? Accept that things are exactly the way they are supposed to be. Life events will play out regardless of whether we become emotional or not. Trust that the Universe will work its course and do its job. For example, accept that “I do not follow instructions well.” Admit that it makes you sad and angry, but it is the way things are right now. When you admit something, it can’t be used against you; your anger can’t harass you about it. You can’t change the cause of that but you CAN change the equation involved.
   

   Emotions + Thoughts = Behavior.

   By changing your emotions or thoughts, you will change your behavior and thus the outcome.

3. Ask, “SO WHAT?” If your friend was late picking you up, so what? If it leads to being scolded by your boss/ lecturer, so what? If you then lose points on attendance or it will affect your GPA/KPI, so what? When you do this you will slowly release the hold your anger has on you, bit by bit. Continue on, till you reach a point where you realize that it really doesn’t matter in the big picture of your life. De-power your anger, face it and ask it… so what?
4. Listen to your body. Feel the pain in certain areas of your body and breathe out the anger with the following techniques:
   • Find a peaceful place, where you can relax, close your eyes and breathe normally at first.
   • Let the pain fill your heart and imagine a container collecting this. Deepen your breathing, and blow out your breath as long and hard as you need to. Let your breath take the pain out of this bowl and out of your body with your breath.
   • If you feel any aches while doing this, massage the affected area. Apply pressure on it and breathe out the pain. Imagine it being released with your breath, as you breathe out.

FROM BREAKDOWN TO BREAKTHROUGH
Volume 30

The Slow Descent

It was a slow descent into the darkness. I did not understand what was going on at that time. Even though I am in the healthcare industry, I did not realize or truly comprehend that what I was experiencing was depression.

I have always had the tendency to be moody and anxious since I was young, so I was quite familiar with my low moods and instability. I had learned the basics of depression and anxiety medically from my studies, however experiencing depression firsthand felt like a different beast altogether.

The term “Dark Night of the Soul” had not gotten into my vocabulary yet, but that was probably the closest thing to describe what I went through for almost 1½ years from May 2017 until October 2018.

Inside The Pit

By the time I realized what was happening to me, I was already at the pit’s bottom, not knowing how to climb back up. Some days were better, where I could get out of the bed, feed myself and turn on my phone (with a manageable degree of dread). However, most days I would be lying on my bed all day, in the dark, too terrified to turn on my phone and step out of my room, let alone the house.

I tried to sleep as much as possible, willing the days to go away as I braved the blizzard that swirled around my head, obscuring my clarity regarding any thought or feeling. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Every day I prayed to either feel differently or not wake up at all. I was neither living nor dying. It was my personal “Groundhog Day” – to wake up feeling the exact same unexplainable dread and terror without any indication I would feel better that day.

Several times I thought I should take matters into my own hands seeing that my body still survived despite severe neglect. All I did every week was plan when and how I should take my own life; it gave me small comfort to know I only had to endure the struggle for just one more painful week. However, as D-day came and went, I simply could not do it. And the cycle of self-loathing amplified more as I felt I couldn’t even do that right.

I deactivated my social media, and stopped all contact with friends and family. It was as if I had disappeared from this planet. There came an endless flurry of messages which I completely ignored. I shut down entirely and retreated into my personal cocoon.

I did not have it in me to “reassure” everyone that I was fine, because I was not. I felt ashamed that as a health professional I had let myself descend to such levels of mental anguish. Besides, I simply didn’t have the energy nor the capacity to articulate how I was feeling. I was also afraid that if I spoke up, I would become a burden to others.

It Does Not Discriminate

I had always been seen as a bubbly, cheerful and happy-go-lucky person. I had a job with a good and stable income, a healthy and capable body, a loving and supportive family, and an active social circle. I was not what one would consider the poster child for a depressed person.

All my friends and colleagues were shocked when they found out later about what had happened to me. I was the last person they expected to be depressed. But depression does not discriminate – regardless of gender, age, ethnicity, education, socio-economic background or any other factor. If anything, my life’s profile fed more darkness into my mental state as I kept thinking I had no right to be sad or depressed, and felt extremely guilty to be so.

The Slow Ascent

What helped me re-connect to reality and ultimately heal was the unconditional love and amazing patience of my family and friends. Family members were very patient and none took it personally when I went silent and not reply anyone for days and weeks. They always let me know that they were there whenever I was ready to get back to them. In addition to one close and genuinely concerned friend, I also had a couple of other select friends who would gently check in on me from time to time without any pressure on me to get better.

During my “good” days when the storms within weren’t so furious, I began to get out of the house for visits to the close friend’s house. She never expected anything from me and would just let me play with her then 2-year-old daughter whilst she went about her normal busy life.

Instead of seeing a face of sympathy, it was refreshing to see someone’s face light up when they saw me. The little girl didn’t care that I was not a contributing member of the society, she was just happy I was there to play with her. During those playtimes, I saw my presence and existence bringing joy to the child, making that an extremely healing experience for me. When my thoughts at that time were mostly pre-occupied with simply surviving, the time I spent with this beautiful 2-year-old helped me remember what it was like to really laugh and be happy with the simple things in life.

Light Of Hope

A huge breakthrough came when my friend organized a camping trip, which was something I hadn’t done in years. I will never forget the sensation I had the first morning. Waking up to Nature, I felt normal. There was no tightness in the chest, no fluttering butterflies in the stomach, no fog or heaviness in the head, no more sense of impending doom or looming darkness. The world did not look grey, black, and white anymore and I felt something I had not felt for a long, long time – hope.

Thereafter, I became obsessed with camping and did it as often as I could to make sure the breakthrough was not just a one-off happenstance.

Making It Back

After so many camping trips, I slowly re-engaged with the outside world and went back to work at the end of 2018, not as a health practitioner but still in the same industry and within a clinical setting.

At the start, I still had to deal with panic attacks when something did not go right during my shift. However, I learned to manage by being gentle with myself, taking slow deep breaths and allowing the panic to ride instead of trying to fight or resist it. But there was still the lingering darkness inside of me which I feared would re-surface and re-engulf me. That doubt stopped me from seeing patients again as a TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) practitioner. I was not yet prepared to re-live a full life.

Transforming Within

In early 2020, I joined a life transformational program which I thought was just an ordinary meditation retreat. However, that program gave me the most lifechanging and truth-revealing experience I ever had in my life. Post-retreat, I continued to do the work and used the tools given to me, and slowly, I was able to see the bigger purpose of my depression and how it was actually a blessing.

I used to be a people-pleaser, prioritizing others but never honoring what I needed or wanted for myself. I became angry and resentful when my actions and good deeds were not reciprocated.

Most times in the past, I had been a cheerful and easy-going person but I could turn to rage and indifference in a split second. Due to my extreme behavioral swings, I could not believe I was a good person although people might have thought I was. I was rejecting and suppressing those parts of myself which I felt not good about. I lived in fear that one day the “real” me would be exposed and people would abandon me when they saw who I actually was.

During a time of isolation and breakdown, I stripped away everything that didn’t serve my life anymore. I unlearned habits, thoughts and beliefs which were self-destructing and had stunted my personal growth.

Blessings From Depression

My depression has given me many blessings.

Today I am back practicing as a TCM practitioner, specializing in treating anxiety and depression. Because of my own personal experience, I am in the unique position to understand my clients’ conditions and what they’re going through.

I have also re-connected with family and friends and am having much more authentic and meaningful relationships with them. I have become more truthful with myself and others. I please and serve me, first and foremost, because I know by filling my own cup, I will be able to share the love better with others when my cup overflows. It’s a system which allows for win-win and is a lot more sustainable.

Today I know how to set healthy boundaries and how to say no from a place of self-love. I surrender and trust in the flow and process of life, knowing that even when I don’t feel fully in control I am well taken care of, and everything happens for me, and not against me.

I know now that I am not alone and that I am loved and supported in every aspect of my life. I have turned my pain into power so that my burnout episode becomes my breakthrough story.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Phoenix Arises

As a continent that is both very dry and hot, Australia is ravaged by bushfires every year. Indigenous Australians have a tradition of using fire to manage and mitigate the problem, known as controlled burning or prescribed burning. This practice not only reduces the risk of future hazards, but it also allows for the regeneration of native ground cover which is less flammable.

This traditional deliberate burning, done to preserve the balance in the land, gave me an insight into the higher purpose of my burnout and depression. Like the proverbial phoenix, the old me has burned for the new me to emerge from its ashes – authentic, self-loving and powerful!

HOW TO PICK CARDS THAT SUIT YOU
Volume 23

I usually guide clients to pick what resonates with them. That’s quite easy for those who are already tuned into their intuition or are more on the “sensitive” side. For those who are not, please read on.

For this review, I have picked a few decks that I usually work with. Do note that these are oracle cards, and not tarot cards.

THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE ~ by Sonia Choquette 

Ahh… here’s the first deck that I was advised by an experienced reader to get. I remember thinking how simple and straightforward the illustrations as well as the words/phrases on the cards were. I should not have underestimated the deck’s powers.

Now each time this 62-card deck calls out to me, I know the Universe wants me to make some serious changes. Or it is time to listen to messages that (my ego and) I do not exactly want to hear. “Stop”, “Be patient”, “Put others first” and “Turn on the light” were some nuggets of tough advice that were sent my way.

It also told me to “Dare to be happy”, “Change the scenery” and “Have fun”.

If you flip through the guidebook, you will see the following written in the introduction, “This deck is designed to help activate and immediately shift your energy away from ego-based fear – the lowest and most harmful vibration in which you can live – to the loving and powerful creative force of our Divine Spirit, the highest one in which you can live.”

This is a great deck if you are starting out on your spiritual journey. The guidebook gives you sufficient explanations for upright cards, allowing you to successfully deal with your ego and uncertainties and jump ahead in life.

ENERGY ORACLE CARDS ~ by Sandra Anne Taylor

This deck has made some of my fellow oracle card readers stop in their tracks. Lovingly, they go through the cards in amazement. Each card has a gilt border, adding to its overall light energy and heavenly feel.

There is a total of 53 cards, each one with lightly colored yet detailed illustration and a word/phrase to describe the situation. When reading, my eye sometimes catches the smallest of details, bringing in amazingly valuable input for clients.

When I say aloud the words that usually represent not so pleasant characteristics such as “Envy”, the visual image that flits across my mind can be dark. But in this deck, there is still a lightness to Card no. 20 for envy. A man in black is looking out at a bright scene. What could the message be? That envy can be turned into something positive? The interpretation, of course, will float in to suit the client that sits before me.

Taylor has given most of her cards a very positive feel and look. There are only 2 cards that gives me a slight feeling of doom. But hey, sometimes in life, we do need those dire warnings.

The deck does come with a guidebook. Taylor gives interpretations for each card in upright and reverse positions, and finishes off with an affirmation. So, if you are not able to intuitively pick up messages from the card, the guidebook is there to help you interpret.

Generally, her explanations are easy to read and grasp. This is a good set if you are sometimes open to abstract messages. It always gives me hope and solutions for the present and future. It also helps me find peace for what cannot be changed about the past.

SACRED REBELS ORACLE ~ by Alana Fairchild

This is not a deck that I would have picked for myself. Someone dear to me gave it as a gift. I was immensely grateful but at the same time surprised as it was vastly different from my other “simpler” decks.

The box itself is in a slightly darker shade with three female figures. Initially I found some of the card illustrations to be abstract, “heavy” and “deep”. Although there were words on each card, it often took me a few minutes to tune into the message. Frankly, this deck by Fairchild is not one that I use for just any client. The lucky clients that I read it for are old souls who are ready for deep answers to carve out their future.

Here’s what happened as I started to use this deck of 44 cards for myself. After connecting to the illustration on the card, I would turn to the guidebook. There is a wealth of knowledge in the 180-page book. As I was flipping through another deck by Fairchild called Isis, I noticed that her style is to be very thorough in her messages with ample examples. By the way, that is the next deck I will be getting for myself!

Along with the extensive explanation for each card, Fairchild always provides a recommended healing process. For people who are at a loss of how to heal themselves through meditation, this is absolutely perfect! She provides the appropriate words and affirmations to use, along with a meditation.

I would recommend this to anyone and everyone who always uses the guidebook that comes along with oracle decks. But if you do not, you may want to think twice, especially if you are a beginner. Look at the picture on the deck, close your eyes, and try to sense if they are right for you.

DIVING INTO THE UNKNOWN:
HELPING MALAYSIAN YOUTH DURING THE PANDEMIC

What Is Health?

It wasn’t until after the unexpected turn of Covid-19 at the beginning of 2020 that it became apparent to us that “health” was more than just eating healthy and keeping fit.

Many of us had to convert to virtual learning and working from home. Then there were news and articles about youth having difficulties coping with the pandemic and an estimate of the unemployment rate of 75,000 fresh graduates. All these got us thinking, “How can we make an impact on youths in Malaysia during this period? Not only for our peers but also ourselves?”

And that’s how Wait! PAUSE started, with the definition of health by the World Health Organisation (WHO) serving as a guide in the campaign. 

“A state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity” ~ WHO, 1948.

Wait! PAUSE was the first online social campaign organized by the School of Communication, Universiti Sains Malaysia (USM). The final year Persuasive Communication students were tasked with running the campaign.

The campaign goals were to provide the support needed by youth to be aware and care for their mental and physical well-being, as well as to create an online support community to overcome distress during this pandemic.

No Pain, No Gain

With no monetary assistance, collaborators nor many ideas to go about, the initial phase was filled with the constant struggle to get sponsors, collaborators and influencers on board. As Frederick Douglass once said, “Without a struggle, there can be no progress”.

On top of that, with everything being done online, communication issues were inevitable. Messages were misinterpreted and there were misunderstandings. Frustration, discontent and stress all came along as a pandemic package. The adjustment was indeed tough, to say the least. Coffee became part of our team at some point. 

Weekly meetings for each department were held to address concerns, suggestions and complaints. 

With hard work, determination and the spirit of not giving up, the team started to receive favorable replies from sponsors and collaborators, offering time, effort, monetary aid, as well as products. We were over the moon! Many happy tears were shed too. 

We were thankful and humbled for all the support we received. With every struggle that the team members faced, it made us stronger in facing other obstacles thrown in our way. 

Never A Better Time

With physical and mental well-being being our core concern, our campaign activities and challenges revolved around living a lifestyle that balanced mind and body. To keep the youth engaged and reap the best benefits from our campaign, we gave away attractive prizes and rewards. The strategy worked out well.

We held a webinar forum with guest speakers discussing ways to balance physical and mental well-being and their insights to combat burnout. There was also a virtual exercise class where the instructor, a cultural artist, led the participants into fun, energetic and engaging routines. We were all quite breathless by the end of that class! 

This was the first-ever online campaign by the School of Communication and our team of 30 dived headfirst into the unknown conducting this campaign. For most of us, everything was “the first time” and it was a long journey that was filled with learning from one another. 

This immeasurable experience has been fruitful for the team as well as campaign advisors. Through it all, we managed to create a campaign that was new, up-to-date and most importantly, necessary, with the ongoing pandemic. Like how Leon Megginson once said, “It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.” 

Never A Better Time

With physical and mental well-being being our core concern, our campaign activities and challenges revolved around living a lifestyle that balanced mind and body. To keep the youth engaged and reap the best benefits from our campaign, we gave away attractive prizes and rewards. The strategy worked out well.

We held a webinar forum with guest speakers discussing ways to balance physical and mental well-being and their insights to combat burnout. There was also a virtual exercise class where the instructor, a cultural artist, led the participants into fun, energetic and engaging routines. We were all quite breathless by the end of that class! 

This was the first-ever online campaign by the School of Communication and our team of 30 dived headfirst into the unknown conducting this campaign. For most of us, everything was “the first time” and it was a long journey that was filled with learning from one another. 

This immeasurable experience has been fruitful for the team as well as campaign advisors. Through it all, we managed to create a campaign that was new, up-to-date and most importantly, necessary, with the ongoing pandemic. Like how Leon Megginson once said, “It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.” 

Making A Difference

It is safe to say that we succeeded well in organizing this campaign that benefited all youth and perhaps even exceeded our target audience reach. This unforeseen pandemic has caused great losses and grief to many all over the world. Rather than letting it negatively impact us or watch on helplessly, we wanted to help as many people as we could to ride out this unfortunate event together with our campaign.

Giving back to the community does not have to be doing something big like a campaign. Even small simple gestures, like asking how the person next to you is doing, can make a difference. The baby steps and self-consciousness to overcome this difficult time together are precious rays of hope we can hold on to until this scourge is over, and we can return stronger than before. 

We hope that our contribution was helpful to those who needed a platform to support their mental and physical well-being, even if it was just a short 3-month campaign.

Success Is Everybody’s

During our campaign, we managed to garner international support through our Facebook and Instagram accounts. Not only did we get support from fellow Malaysians, but we also garnered support from Singapore, Australia, Brazil, China, India as well as the United States. 

From the bottom of our hearts – all members of Wait! PAUSE and the advisors – we would like to express our sincere gratitude for the support we have received from sponsors, collaborators, USM lecturers, staff and students. Not forgetting the persistent support from participants of the activities throughout the campaign. Without all of you, we would not have achieved what we have today. 

Together, We Strive!

FINDING POWER IN THE UNKNOWN
Volume 28

My Story

We are all given one chance at life, but a select few are given two. I was very blessed to be one of those few… To me, life is a journey to discover who you are, what your purpose is and how you can serve others. Many have not realized this yet.

There are 2 days in life that are guaranteed; the day we arrive and the day we leave, but the most important days of our lives are the days in between.

Life Is A Bed of Roses, Or Is It?

We experience our individual realities and journeys, look at daily happenings and classify them as good luck and bad luck. I can’t say I have a shared mindset about luck, but I do see it in the sense that good luck = blessings and bad luck =  challenges.

Everything that happens in life teaches us something that either grows us, helps us to help others or reveals new perspectives to us.

Have you ever struggled to find that new door to walk through?  The door that will lead you to the next milestone? I’m sure we all have been there but what if you thought about it this way: the door you may be searching for is not in front of you because – it is you.

Sometimes we are the door for another person to direct them to a fruitful path which in turn may (or may not) open a door for us in the future. It may not be widely accepted yet, but the mentality of serving without receiving is the best way I know how to live. When we give to receive, we are not giving; we’re trading. But when we give from the heart without expectation, we’re allowing life the opportunity to be rewarding.

Choices & Decisions

Speaking of luck and mindset, I have had my blessings and challenges in 2020 as we all have, but here is how I was given my purpose and found my door. I was initially diagnosed with brain cancer the past year. I was told there were certain ways I would have to live my life and a certain expectancy on how long I would live. With this being told, I had to make an immediate choice.

I could either accept my diagnosis and let it defeat me, or choose to remain empowered and make my life the way I want it.

We Are A Story

The point of this is to let you know that our lives, our stories and our thoughts are what make us unique. What is a name on a sheet of paper to a person you’ve never met or heard of? Nothing but letters written in ink, right?

Now, what happens when you see a name and you know that person, or have read his story? A surge of thoughts, emotions and associations suddenly come through your mind, right? That is legacy, that is power and that is what life is about.

All in all, we are a story; a memory that someone will remember or forget at the end of our stay on Earth.

Power In Pain, Uncertainty & Strife

When I was diagnosed, I kept my focus on the bigger picture, the blessings for which I’m grateful for, my faith and how I needed to serve and change my life. I believe there are many things in life we go through that cause us pain, uncertainty and strife, things which are potential powerhouses to move us forward and get our life story back on track.

When you experienced a painful time of the past, do you remember how weak, defeated and alone you felt? That sense of vulnerability?

What about the times when you were exuberant, joyful and couldn’t stop laughing or smiling? Do you remember the energy you felt? The sense of invincibility?

This is the power I’m referring too.

We have the ability to turn pain and sadness into powerful purposes and motivation to get us to joy, success and happiness. It’s all about our mindset and vision. Take time to think about this and know that there are always decisions in situations that lead us to action. Every action has a consequence (whether it’s positive or negative), and we learn from it.

Our Life, Our Terms

I told my doctor that I believed he is a gifted man of his profession and that he would surely do his best to help me, but he is not me nor my creator, so I could not take his word for my diagnosis and life expectancy. Upon waking from my surgery, he was by my side. He calmly told me that the test results showed that the tumor was benign. I smiled and closed my eyes.

Life can be unpredictable in so many ways but the key is to stay strong, have faith and don’t give up the power of your story. Write it on your terms and hold fast because in the end, it’s not about how long you’ve lived, but how you’ve lived.

Find something to be grateful for every day of your life and give thanks every morning! Because simply, it is about the good we’ve done, the friends we’ve made and the love we’ve shared along the way, which is how we’ll be remembered.