SUGAR AND SPICE & ALL THINGS NICE
Are you a woman reading this article?
What feelings come up in you, when you read something like this?
Are you reminded of your childhood, when your parents and family stressed on you to always behave?
Have you ever wondered what the “nice” means? In fact, “nice” could mean a variety of things, and most of us women have tried to be “nice” many times in our lives, since we were told that ladies should walk, talk, and act in a certain way.
Generally “nice” is a word with positive connotations. However it can be a bit tiring to have to be “nice” all the time. Especially if you do not feel like it – continually being the perfect mother, wife and daughter can be exhausting.
Sometimes we feel we give too much in our roles until we forget to save some for ourselves; and then at a certain point in our lives, we realize that there isn’t enough “love” left over for us to give to ourselves, or enough time or even strength. Most of us have difficulty taking time out to relax and spend time with ourselves, as we may have been conditioned to think that being idle is wrong.
Wouldn’t it be nice to fill ourselves with self-love and feel completely fulfilled again? To bask in the glow of self-love and self-care doesn’t take too much effort. In fact you don’t even have to step out of your house.
To demonstrate a sense of appreciation to yourself, or simply to feel loved, you could take deep breaths of Lavender or
Geranium essential oil, and then meditate and visualize that you were walking in the bright refreshing sunlight and smelling the beautiful flowers in a magnificent and peaceful forest. The resulting calmness and sense of peace will help you feel a little better than before, and more loved.
Balancing Giving & Receiving
To keep yourself feeling loved and balanced, it is necessary to balance the giving and receiving energies in your life.
Everything in the Universe is made of energy and stagnant energy is not healthy; as nothing is being created and nothing flows. When you are relaxed and feel good about yourself, the energy flows and you will create effortlessly.
Balancing the giving and receiving energy to flow with life is easy. Start having a positive mindset, seeing the cup as half full instead of half empty. Express gratitude for what you already have and the Universe rewards you with more. If something isn’t going right, perhaps the door is closing so that a better one opens for you.
Saying “No” With Love
When you are in a relaxed state, you are One with the Universe… your heartbeat adjusts itself to the flow and the rhythm of the Universe. Cognitive researchers know and have publicized information that multi-tasking is bad for us. And yet multitasking is something that many women do.
One of the reasons could be that most women (and men) do not know how to set boundaries. They do not know how to say “no”, and not feel guilty about it.
A wise Master once said, “The objective of healthy anger is to teach you how to set boundaries.” Thus, it is interesting to note that the feeling of anger is usually due to a physical state such as feeling hungry or feeling tired. The simple act of having to say or do something you are not happy with, just to comply with the image of niceness will not help you in the long term.
As we feel so much pressure to conform to our image of niceness, we swallow the anger which then grows inside us causing us to be physically affected by it. You do not have to keep this anger inside. The emotion can be dealt with, for example, by doing an advanced DNA chart mapping or restructuring. Our DNA replicates and reproduces new cells all the time so we can alter or affect our DNA energetically and remove traits that we do not want (such as lack of self-esteem or anger). We can then create a new set of instructions for replication that has the traits that we want (courage, self-love and happiness).
Sometimes, saying “no” can be healthy when done with love and compassion.
How To Be Your Own Best Friend
Constant happy thoughts strengthen and rewire your nervous system with “strong” happy neurons. Alternatively, you can try other alternative healing therapy such as Reiki or work through your anger issues with a registered and trained counselor.
Many of our emotional health issues become physical as the mind, body and soul are not separate entities. As we can be our own worse enemy by turning the issues inward, we can also start being our own best friend. We can find healthy and positive ways to deal with our problems.
For example, in cases of abuse; women tend to over-eat. Survivors of all types of abuse resort to this because they are trying to fill a hole in their hearts by creating a shield (made of excess fat) to keep others away.
This affects their recovery process, as well as their relationships with people who genuinely care for them. What they don’t realize is they are giving more of their power away by holding onto their fears and anger; when it can be healthier to accept the situation and move on.
Learn to forgive and take back your power by letting go of all your fears and negative feelings. You do not have to do it alone. Ask for help. There are myriad possibilities and healers who will be able to heal you. Remember, it is OK to ask for help, you deserve it!