THE VOICE OF A WOMAN
What does it take to be a woman of substance? I have clocked almost half a century of life and am still searching for the woman I wish to be… my authentic feminine being. I have had to struggle with my fair share of emotional baggage, belief systems, society’s expectations, even religion.
Maternal Influences In My Life
I recall my late maternal grandmother telling me to be a good wife when I was about to marry my loving soul mate of 18 years (we had met when we were both 15 and we got married at 33). I learnt from this beautiful woman, the meaning of unconditional love, patience and devotion, as exemplified by her loving disposition towards my late grandpa. This served as an inspiration to me in my own marriage.
My Mum would remind me to behave like a “girl” because I used to be carefree and rebellious in my own way. I loved wearing pants, playing soldier games, catching spiders, climbing trees, and was labelled a “tomboy” by relatives. My parents were very open-minded and gave us lots of space to express ourselves. Or maybe they were just too busy at work to control us. I learnt survival, compassion and respect for Mother Nature from my Mum who has the “green fingers” that makes everything she plants thrive. I call them “magic hands” as she is even able to nurture unhealthy plants and flowers back to a robust, healthy state. I love her so much and every day my bond with her grows stronger as I realize that she is a special angel who illuminates my life.
My late paternal grandmother cared for us. She was another amazing soul who lived to almost 95 years of age. At that age, her memory still remained clear though not her sight. From her I learned patience and gentleness, as I saw how she would patiently and happily wait for her children to visit, especially during her birthdays.
These mothers in my life had shaped me to become who I am today. I have inherited their strength, perseverance and love.
Struggling To Find Myself
I have had a tough life, as a woman. In perhaps the past 40 years of my life, I had sought the Divine feminine within me. I didn’t really like who I was and neither did I know who I was. I tried to please everyone and tried to blend into my surroundings, always fearful of hurting or disappointing people. I had become tired and frustrated. There were days I wished I could just run away from everything. Somehow along the way, I had also lost myself, my voice, my soul and my identity.
In the days when I was immersed in the corporate world, I had to work doubly hard to compete with my male colleagues. Even when I was successful with some projects, my performance was never good enough. Somehow there was this ceiling to break through in the male dominated company I worked in, or so I thought. When I ventured into another company that comprised mostly women, there was still keen competition.
Eventually I quit the corporate world to set up my own business, in order to have a different space to heal and rediscover myself. I finally found my magical sanctuary through the mastery of self. I’m now on the road to complete recovery, honoring my voice, my identity, my truth, and reclaiming my Divine feminine essence. I no longer feel guilty nor am I afraid to be who I am, and I understand my role as a woman better, although I am still learning.
Learning To Love Myself
I am not worried about getting old as I believe age comes with wisdom! Every scar, every wrinkle and every gray hair tells a story…
… Purchase volume 16, here to finish reading The Voice Of A Woman to discover how to honor yourself and your existence.