THE VOICE OF A WOMAN
Volume 16

What does it take to be a woman of substance? I have clocked almost half a century of life and am still searching for the woman I wish to be… my authentic feminine being. I have had to struggle with my fair share of emotional baggage, belief systems, society’s expectations, even religion.

Maternal Influences In My Life

I recall my late maternal grandmother telling me to be a good wife when I was about to marry my loving soul mate of 18 years (we had met when we were both 15 and we got married at 33). I learnt from this beautiful woman, the meaning of unconditional love, patience and devotion, as exemplified by her loving disposition towards my late grandpa. This served as an inspiration to me in my own marriage.

My Mum would remind me to behave like a “girl” because I used to be carefree and rebellious in my own way. I loved wearing pants, playing soldier games, catching spiders, climbing trees, and was labelled a “tomboy” by relatives. My parents were very open-minded and gave us lots of space to express ourselves. Or maybe they were just too busy at work to control us. I learnt survival, compassion and respect for Mother Nature from my Mum who has the “green fingers” that makes everything she plants thrive. I call them “magic hands” as she is even able to nurture unhealthy plants and flowers back to a robust, healthy state. I love her so much and every day my bond with her grows stronger as I realize that she is a special angel who illuminates my life.

My late paternal grandmother cared for us. She was another amazing soul who lived to almost 95 years of age. At that age, her memory still remained clear though not her sight. From her I learned patience and gentleness, as I saw how she would patiently and happily wait for her children to visit, especially during her birthdays.

These mothers in my life had shaped me to become who I am today. I have inherited their strength, perseverance and love.

Struggling To Find Myself

I have had a tough life, as a woman. In perhaps the past 40 years of my life, I had sought the Divine feminine within me. I didn’t really like who I was and neither did I know who I was. I tried to please everyone and tried to blend into my surroundings, always fearful of hurting or disappointing people. I had become tired and frustrated. There were days I wished I could just run away from everything. Somehow along the way, I had also lost myself, my voice, my soul and my identity.

In the days when I was immersed in the corporate world, I had to work doubly hard to compete with my male colleagues. Even when I was successful with some projects, my performance was never good enough. Somehow there was this ceiling to break through in the male dominated company I worked in, or so I thought. When I ventured into another company that comprised mostly women, there was still keen competition.

Eventually I quit the corporate world to set up my own business, in order to have a different space to heal and rediscover myself. I finally found my magical sanctuary through the mastery of self. I’m now on the road to complete recovery, honoring my voice, my identity, my truth, and reclaiming my Divine feminine essence. I no longer feel guilty nor am I afraid to be who I am, and I understand my role as a woman better, although I am still learning.

Learning To Love Myself

I am not worried about getting old as I believe age comes with wisdom! Every scar, every wrinkle and every gray hair tells a story. I know I am my greatest critic. I know now that my role as a woman is to nurture, support and love – myself, my family, my friends and my Mother Earth.

Women are like chameleons. We are adaptable, we are survivors and we have the “special” gift to multitask. We are natural givers, and I myself have been in the company of countless women with hearts of gold. Kudos to these awesome women who inspire others with their exemplary life stories. They are the incredible women who, having gone through their own personal challenges as women, have risen to inspire and give hope, faith and strength to others who are not yet able to see a future for themselves.

I for one, play many roles as a mother, daughter, sister, friend and wife. There are days that I wonder how I manage all of these roles and remain sane. Indeed, there are days that I get extremely stressed and exhausted, physically, emotionally and mentally.

It took me many years to love the person I am and finally, I do.

Our Mother Of Mothers

I have realized that we are part of Mother Earth. She provides us a healthy space to live and thrive in. She never ever complains, even when we extract almost all of Her resources without giving any back. She waits patiently for us to realize that without her, we are not. She loves and nurtures our soul, mind and body like how my grandmothers and mother nurture and love me.

To all the amazing, magnificent and awesome women out there – I salute, acknowledge and honor you with all my love and respect.

Honor yourself and your existence! You are beautiful just as you are, a perfect creation of the Divine. Let’s celebrate our feminine divinity and stand proud as ourselves. Wishing you all a “Happy Mother’s Day” and a “Happy Women’s Day”!

I stumbled upon something written by an amazing author, Guiditta Tornetta, that describes my message perfectly and I would like to paraphrase it here. Creating Our Seeds Of Love:

1. Select good seeds. Choose compassion, love, joy, peace, patience, forgiveness and kindness. Learn to judge less and love more. The world will be a more pleasant and harmonious place to live in.
2. Prepare your pasture. Time to let go and heal the past in order to find peace in your heart, mind and body.
3. Allow your plants plenty of space to grow. Our life brings many opportunities and sometimes we take our lives for granted. Adopt a positive attitude despite turbulence in your life and see beyond dramas.
4. Nurture your plants. Spend some time in meditation, prayer and self-contemplation. Reconnect with nature as it aligns and heals our bodies, minds and souls.
5. Do not pour poison in your pasture. It may be our bad habit to gossip, complain and constantly blame others. Be mindful with your words, thoughts and actions.
6. Eliminate the insects that destroy your plants. Be conscious and work on bad attitudes and bad influences. Live in the present and be appreciative.
7. Clear unwanted roots regularly. Be responsible for your life and practice more compassion and love. Work on your inner world (heart) each time someone or something triggers your emotions. See the lessons behind each experience as it makes you become your better self. Be authentic.
8. Get ready for your reward. Open your heart to receive and accept your harvest. It is your birth right to enjoy success and abundance in your life. Be grateful be it a small or huge success.