OVERCOMING SOCIAL AWKWARDNESS
Volume 10

“Some people are calm when they speak to authority figures and at meetings. I’m the exact opposite. Now, I even avoid social gatherings for fear of embarrassing myself. How do I solve my problem?”

Breaking out in cold sweat and hosting butterflies in the stomach are common amongst many people. Yet, they keep giving opinions and letting themselves be the center of attention. Perhaps their approach is simply “Fake it till you make it!” Of course, there are some other things you could try.

Never Link The Past To The Present

Once a child touches a boiling pot, that mistake will not be repeated. Likewise, adults who have had bad experiences, e.g. at public speaking, may be reluctant to try it again. But, why assume the next time will also go wrong? Stop saying things like, “I always stammer.” Forgive and forget that occasion when you did so. Always say things like, “I speak confidently at meetings.”

Positive Predictions

Assume you have been invited to a party. What would you say?

• “No one will talk to me.” or
• “I will meet lots of friendly people.”

Obviously, option two is a better choice. Self-talk has incredible power to determine what happens. So, picture your next discussion with an authority figure. Predict a fabulous outcome whilst saying out aloud, “I will present my points well.”

Here’s a rule for future events – be 100% positive and have faith in yourself.

Slam Shut Escape Doors

Stop shying away from things you assume you are bad at. Should you keep avoiding going to parties and doing presentations, you will never have a positive experience. This will stunt your growth.

Start with small challenges and eventually embrace bigger ones. Be bold.

Your Body Is Doing Fine

Don’t think of your sweaty palms or your stammering words. In reality, no one may have noticed it. When in an anxious state, people blow things way out of proportion. Instead, focus on ongoing conversations so that you can join in.

Role Playing

Before movie star Bette Davis’s book was launched, she checked out the venue. She took photographs of where her car would drop her off, where she would stand when giving her speech, etc. Then she practiced it all in her mind. Do the same.

You could also get some friends to act out what happens at parties and presentations.