RETURN TO LOVE – THE SECRET OF FINDING TRUE LOVE
LOVE O’ LOVE, where art thou?
I Am Everywhere
I Am Nowhere
I Am all around you
I Am In You
I Am Everything
I Am Nothing
I Am Everything in the Nothing
I Am the Nothing in Everything
I Am that I Am
I Am as I Am
Goodness Is Love’s Presence
Love is good! Love is in the air! In every breath we take, there is Love. In every breath we exhale, there is Love. Love is all around – in the air we breathe, the scents we smell, the sensations we feel, the sights we see, the sounds we hear, the flavors we taste.
It is universally accepted that the presence of love makes us feel good. If love is everywhere, why then do most of us feel miserable and unhappy? Why do we feel dissatisfied?
The logical mind will give you all the reasons for unhappiness – because we have not achieved this or that in our lives, careers, relationships and so on. As if achievements and possessions are all that we need to make us happy.
On the other hand, can the unhappiness in our lives be simply explained away as the absence of love? Or is there more to it? Would it be worth our while to know? When really, was the last time we stopped to contemplate on love?
Love Is Not A Romance Novel
Over centuries, we have been conditioned to believe that love is that “heart-longing” for another person who “completes” us. When we truly encounter this other person, we would feel alive and electrified. Life would never be the same again. We would transform our lives with the wonder of “love”. And we would be happy forever after.
Or at least, that’s what the romance novels and movies depict.
After the wonder of falling in love is over and we move on with life with our chosen partner, reality kicks in with children to be raised and bills to be paid. Our lives don’t feel so complete anymore even with the other person who now seems to have transformed into someone else. Whatever happened to all that this other person made us feel before? Sounds familiar?
Love Maybe, But Romance Is Hard Work
In many relationships, the “love” that once was seems lesser with time because we had fallen into the habit of expecting how others should fulfill us physically and emotionally. Over time, we realize our partner is all too human and can’t find time to carry on the romance with us perpetually. There is no forever after. Romance is hard work.
But in the first place, do we even ask ourselves why we even need someone else to “fulfill” us? Is it because we are not “full” or “complete” in ourselves? And if not, why not? Why don’t we love and “complete” ourselves?
Taking Responsibility – The No Blame Game
Even when we decide to embark on a path of loving ourselves, a path of self-love, we tend to shy away from realizing that we are the ones who tie ourselves in knots of tension and stress.
Which is the biggest irony, because all the low self-worth and esteem issues are basically self-inflicted, thanks to traumas that program us into believing we aren’t good enough. Social pressures dictate how things should be, how we should behave and how we should respond – they rob us of the chance to be ourselves, lowering our self-esteem even more.
Truth be told…when we enter a romantic relationship with wide-eyed expectation, a lot of control issues are unearthed from within us. Plenty of self-worth issues are brought to light. Amongst these is the tendency to blame the other for whatever’s not right in our lives.
The question is do we choose to continue with the “blame game” or do we choose to acknowledge that the problem is perhaps within ourselves and not in the other person? In other words, do we dare be responsible for our own lives?”
Accepting & Loving The Self
When we surrender and forgo our expectations, we melt away our judgments. We start accepting ourselves as we truly are without pressure to conform to social expectations. Doing all these, we give ourselves permission to return to our authentic heart where true love lives.
With self-acceptance, we begin our self–love journey, accepting our insecurities, anger, guilt, fears, negative emotions and shadow. But many of us struggle to even acknowledge that we have fears and negative emotions. We often times convince ourselves to think we are “positive” people and problems only happen to other people. For example, we think that events from our past are in the past and they no longer affect us. But our bodies have their own minds and will not agree with that thinking.
The Emotions That Impact Our Lives
Negative emotions must be properly acknowledged, released and transmuted at all levels of mind, body and heart or they could fester and manifest as chronic problems such as depression, body aches and pains. Indeed, many research studies has proven that emotional stress is one of the biggest triggers of cancer, heart problems and auto-immune disorders. At the socio-emotional level, negative emotions may cause patterns such as difficulties in socializing, recurring breakups and frequent job-hopping.
Many health issues are manifestations of emotional blockages of our own doing. It has got nothing to do with others. Our emotions are our responsibility. Nobody can make us angry or sad except ourselves. When others trigger anger, sadness or fear in us, they are showing us what we are emotionally holding on to. We should thank them because they are doing us a favor by showing us what we need to acknowledge and accept within us, thereby giving us the chance to return to love.
Surrendering Our Need To Be Right – The Art Of Forgiving
I often get skeptical looks when I suggest forgiveness as a path to letting-go – to forgive truly, deeply and thoroughly.
“So, I need to thank and love the person who made me so angry, sad, broken and did all that ‘bad’ stuff to me?”
The answer? A resounding YES! But our egos will challenge it and demand, “Why should I forgive when I’m RIGHT!?”
But what is right? Right in whose mind and from which perspective?
There is a constant battle that goes on between the self-righteous ego and the other part of us which wants to let go. The result of these inner battles are physical tensions and emotional stress which could end up as emotional problems, bad relationships and disease.
Now, what if we allow ourselves to surrender the need to be right, what then could be the possible outcomes? Give this a try and find out. For one, see how you begin to attract better relationships into your life.
Return To Love
The journey from the ego mind back to our hearts is the journey worth taking. It is a return journey home to love.
So, what is love really?
You may have heard that amongst many things, love is the all-powerful energy that heals. Yes, love heals us of afflictions of the body, mind and emotions… and more. We fall in true love and not in the illusion of love. What love is depends on your experience of it as you progress on this return journey home to love. There’s no right, no wrong. Enjoy your journey.
Love is Love
Love is Above, Love is Below
Love is Within, Love is Without
Love is Light, Love is Dark
Love is Love, Love just Is
Return to love and that is all there is.