GIFTS OF LOVE
We all have been children before and I ask myself “what are the best gifts that I have ever received from my parents?”
1. Praise/ Cheering Of Love
Traditional parents have always been very reluctant to praise their children, having the fear that their children may grow up with big egos. Hence we hardly hear words like “Well done”, “I am proud of you”, “You are awesome!” from our parents.
Once, when I was younger and helping my mum to make dough for a dessert, I found a creative and efficient way to do it. My mother then commented, “Wow, you are so creative!” and that had a big impact on my life.
We were all creative when we were young, but what she allowed me to do and her praise made me the creative person I am today! I nurtured that creativity throughout my life. Do motivate your children with positive words! It may change their lives, as your words and deeds mean a lot to them!
2. Attentive Listening
Having your ears “switched on” for your children will help them express themselves better. Imagine if your parents were to encourage you to speak up about your emotions or feelings in your daily life. Will you be a different person today?
Simple questions like “Did you enjoy your classes today?”, “How are you feeling today?” allow your children to be in touch with their emotions. Be 100% present when you are talking to your children. This will make them feel that you genuinely care about them so they will open up even more.
If you are busy when your child is talking to you, just acknowledge her or him by saying “I hear you, let me come back to you shortly”. Do not just brush them off, as they will know that you are not interested.
There are some children in my meditation class who are particular talkative in class especially when I ask them about their week. As I observed and talked to their parents, I found out that because their parents were too busy to pay much attention to them hence they have no one to express and share their feelings with, at home.
We all need a pair of “Listening Ears” to listen to our feelings and opinions, be that for your children. It’s a beautiful gift for them to be in touch with their emotions if you would guide them!
3. Freedom Of Choice
I know some parents who encourage their children to learn a skill that they themselves have always wanted to since childhood – piano, ballet or extra tuition classes for instance. But a child’s experience of childhood is not about his or her parent’s wishes or needs but the children’s!
Ask your children what they like, expose them to different activities before getting them to choose what they want to take up. I have an ex-colleague who brought all three children to a music school, encouraged them to walk around and experiment with different instruments before signing them up for classes.
The youngest daughter told her mother that she wanted to learn to sing instead. When they make their own choices, they will feel important and take the full responsibility for it.
Children who are growing up freely will take responsibility for their own choices instead of blaming others in life.
4. Quality Time
Just ask yourself what is the most memorable moment you have ever had with your parents? Many would say that it was during a family holiday or day out together. We treasure memories like these, these moments paint a beautiful picture in our subconscious.
Besides family time, have one-to-one moments with your children. They will treasure this moment of just “Me and Mum or Dad”! May it be just an hour or an afternoon, it will make them feel special. Do this with each and every child, a special one-on-one moment!
5. Happy Parents
Imagine this yourself, growing up watching your parents being happy and always having smiles on their faces. Will this make you a different person today?
Many of us grow up watching parents fight even cry in front of us. This affects us no doubt, watching them experience this pain. Children develop their life blueprint before the age of 7, everything they see and experience will become part of their life in the future! So give this amazing gifts to your children; imprint your smiles and laughter in their subconscious!
I am not saying that my childhood was perfect but my parents did give me amazing gifts along the years. I thank them for allowing me to become who I am now and providing the space and love for me to be uniquely Me!